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Dude has a death wish

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TIL Dr. Sigmund Freud was addicted to smoking and failed to quit for good throughout a 45 years long battle that included 33 operations for cancer of the jaw, an artificial jaw replacement, and attacks of “tobacco angina” exacerbated by nicotine . He was known to smoke up to twenty cigars a day.

via reddit.com

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i have finally perfected my twitter feed

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two year anniversary of my vocabulary being permanently changed for the worse

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peanuthead

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Having to clean the shower is so fucking annoying. It’s clean in there. That’s where I go to get clean. It’s clean dude trust me. Stop fucking growing bacteria and stuff man this is the clean locale. You’re embarrassing me in front of the sink

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based da vinkis per usual

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drunk and in love and full of food i think only the torturer eel could harm me

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Can I touch ur femoral artery

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The hearing center I tried to book an appointment with called me. Called. They called me, the person who is booking an appointment about hearing. The hearing center. That offers hearing exams and hearing aid repair. That one. Me, who has hearing issues. Their patient. At the hearing center. For people who don't hear all that well. That one.

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i could survive my own autopsy

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i wish there was a way to have an autopsy that didnt kill u. i think it would be so cathartic