elysianmars

[elysianmars]

can i use a calculator on the ap french exam

this mother fucker trying to solve french

[elysianmars]

The Diaries of Franz Kafka, 1914-1923

[elysianmars]

[elysianmars]

Memento mori, Roman, 199 BCE-500 CE

[elysianmars]

[elysianmars]

Anyway if you’re from the US and you ever wanted to know what tumblr feels like from a non-USAmerican perspective (please note that the rest of the world is not a monolith either and none of these apply without exception):

Everybody’s talking about brands and stores you’ve never seen in real life. You generally assume they exist, but they might as well be one giant prank the rest of the internet is in on.

You find a post that just sounds wrong. It makes no sense. It’s like OP lives in a weird alternate reality. 9/10 times, it’s just some USAmerican Thing.

You’re still not entirely sure how much an inch is. Or a foot. Or even how many of the former there are in the latter. You maybe know your height in feet and inches.

You have no idea how much a pound is. You’d also like to know how the fuck pound shortens to lbs.

What the fuck is “military time”

Somebody talks about some legal process or something similar. They don’t mention which country’s legal system this pertains to. You know anyway.

People talk about politics. None of it pertains to you. Many posts contain guilt tripping. “How can you not care about this?? Why won’t you reblog this?? People need to know this about x candidate for y position!” You’re busy trying to stay on top of the political landscape in your own country.

You pick up some random slang from the internet. Monkey see monkey do. You’re called racist. You didn’t know it was AAVE. You learnt it from black letters on white background, not from the mouths of people whose faces you could see. How would you have known? You try to unlearn it.

People tell you that you must publicly denounce Chick-fil-A or you’re homophobic. You don’t even know what a Chick-fil-A is.

People say you don’t know LGBTQ+ history. What they mean is you don’t know USAmerican LGBTQ+ history. Nobody cares about your country’s history.

You’re “called out” on using an “offensive” term. It’s (a direct translation of) a completely harmless word where you live.

People expect you to have an idea of how far apart 2 USAmerican states are. You barely know geography past your country’s immediate neighbors.

You randomly switch between British and American spellings. Nothing’s real and there are no rules.

People talk about multiple hour car rides and you get twitchy just thinking about it. You suddenly understand why USAmerican cars are so big.

Somebody talks about school shooting drills. You only ever had fire alarm drills.

You see a cool statistic. The study’s only about the US. It’s unfortunately of no use to you.

People misuse/misspell words and names from your native language. It’s tiring.

(You feel sorry for the French. Nobody should be allowed to mangle the word déjà vu like that.)

You’re still not over the fact that USAmerican school children are supposed to say that pledge thing every morning. You’re never getting over that.

You still don’t know why the men are fresh or what the fuck a sophomore is.

Who the fuck pays up first and then fills up gas??? That’s made up, right??

Everybody has a weird obsession with some comfort food you’d never even heard of before you signed up here.

Fellow non-USAmericans, please add anything else you can think of.

[elysianmars]

was just Remembering how you’d be out with a friend and you’d each order a different cocktail and you’d ask “what’d you get?” and they’d read the description off the menu and you’d be like “ooh that sounds good” and then they’d say “try it!” and then you’d have a lil sip of their drink and they’d have a lil sip of your drink and you’d decide which one was best and you wouldn’t give each other a life-threatening respiratory infection

[elysianmars]

september, s.t.

[elysianmars]

How about you create a platonic polycule with your coworkers called a union

[elysianmars]

I wanna start a collection of quotes by early Christian fathers being mad at strapons

[elysianmars]

I’m stupid and bi and it’s all u need to know about me

[elysianmars]

25% is better than 0%. trying a little is better than not trying at all. eating a protein bar is better than nothing. using dry shampoo is better than not showering. cleaning one section of your room or house is better than not cleaning any of it. writing a paragraph of your essay is better than not starting it. whatever you can manage today is okay. you can try again tomorrow. little steps are to be proud of.

[elysianmars]

[elysianmars]

it’s insane what they’ve done

[elysianmars]

[elysianmars]

do you ever go "hey wtf are you doing" but to yourself

[elysianmars]

Doing something new in my new job and obviously I suck at it because I’ve never done it before and it’s highly technical, but it’s so refreshing how lovely and understanding and PATIENT the woman training me on it has been with me.

Don’t get me wrong, this absolutely is a capitalist hellhole in a lot of ways but it makes such a difference when some of the people you interact with act like compassionate humans and give you the space to learn and grow.