elysiumofnight - Tumblr blog

[elysiumofnight]

I AM SO FUCKING TIRED.

[elysiumofnight]

Roberto Polito // Evelyn Waugh

[elysiumofnight]

Sometimes, i wish i would just pass away

There would be one less worry

One less plate to wash

One less person to deal with

One less kid to aid to

One less human to exist

One less lover to love

One less broken heart.

One less.

[elysiumofnight]

Let me sit on your lap and drench your shirt with my tears.

[elysiumofnight]

Beach

The itchy sticky sandy feet. I groan in annoyance.

Sun tanning my already dried brown skin.

Burnt if i may pin point.

Salty water which i wish i could drink. Drown maybe.

I look up from my half blind eyes and yell at my sister,

Who's building her own Hadrian's wall to come and enjoy the sea.

Running towards me, she squeaks at the touch.

Scared that she's getting pulled away with the sand, she sprints.

Noon turns too evening

Gulping on nimbu pani we take one last snap

A moment, a place to remember is what we call it.

With sand wet legs i bid goodbye.

[elysiumofnight]

You. Only you.

I see you look puzzled.

Looking at my cry face.

At last i get to see the person i love, right in front of me.

Let me rejoice. These tears are my pain flowing away.

Dont take a step. Stay there.

You fill the last piece of my broken puzzle.

My soul is dying and here you are holding the last string.

Let me cry more, even better scream and gurgle.

I will be glad if this is my last moment.

You.

You are here.

My throat is closing and i can't see anymore.

I saw. You smiled.

You. Only you.

[elysiumofnight]

I push myself to get through. Every day. Just so i can see you.

[elysiumofnight]

Scarred monument

I would hold you close but you sear into my skin. I don't really mind seeing you ruin my peel. I wanted this. To be that painful memory, that desperate tears. I wanted it engraved on me so i can show the world how beautiful of a ruin you created.

[elysiumofnight]

If you're drowning, let me pick you up and kiss you a few.

[elysiumofnight]

bts members + greek gods/goddesses

[elysiumofnight]

Make me immortal or kill me right away. I either wanna see the world end or end my world right now.

[elysiumofnight]

personally, i cant wait for this existence to be over

[elysiumofnight]

Marmalade lips

Strange kid; is what you call her.

She holds a jar of marmalade and a spoon ready to devour.

Her dress, stained with mud and ragged,

Hair smells like fresh grass and thyme.

She sits by the table in her tiny kitchen,

Humming the tune of SOS.

Spreading the white cheese and marmalade on the bread,

There it vanishes within 2 bites.

Messy little marmalade lips of hers,

She smiles with stars in her eyes, clouds inside her mind.

[elysiumofnight]

I am doomed.

Doomed to suffer the pain and agony of being blamed for no reason. To bear the worst possible scenario and die a crippling death. To always be known as the villan of somebody's story when i just thrived to be who i am. Just a woman fighting for her place and for some time.

I dont deserve.

I don't deserve the love and care, the smile and shine. The shattered curse, what my so-called family calls me. Under constant abuse has made me feel that i deserve what it is. Nothing else. Even the longing of some affirmation feels illicit to me.

I am dying.

I am dying for some kind of ray of hope, to heal and to feel the warmth again and die in somebody's arms as soon as possible for i cannot bear the pain of this world and these people around me. Betrayal tastes more bitter when it's from your own blood.

[elysiumofnight]

Standing across the railing i put my hands out,

To feel the soft dribble of water from the heavens fall.

I look up at the sky rumbling and roaring.

It doesn't scare me, that place once belonged to me.

My mouth aches with a smile, my single dimple popping.

I cant stand the happiness against the cold water,

Running down my skin like it is already familiar.

A bead trickling over my lips just like a long gone lovers kiss

I suck in the water and close my eyes,

To be flushed by this wondrous phenomenon once every year.

[elysiumofnight]

“you’re so polite with your sadness. you don’t want to ruin this for anyone.”

— — Silas Melvin, from “Twenty,” Grit

[elysiumofnight]

I wanna float in the ocean forever. However vulnerable i am to the creatures at least ill bleed and die within the water.