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[emerald-technologist]

Lost Notes Dice Set

[emerald-technologist]

"Becoming" a Dragon: On System Bleedover

Crossposted to the Fictionkind Dreamwidth

Odd fictive experiences: since getting here, I've been turned into a dragon somewhat against my will.

This is mostly joke phrasing, but the core is truth. I'm not actually a dragon; I don't consider myself to be one in any way. It's also not necessarily actively distressing in any way, just... odd. But the core of it - system bleedover with my host has given me a fair number of draconic traits that I most definitely did not have before arriving here.

For one thing, when we're both at or near the front, we get phantom shifts that are unmistakably draconic, but are not Rani's dragon form. Primarily, feathers, of all things - a tall feathered crest and a "body feather" coating of neck feathers, which like to ruffle and re-settle in response to my emotions, especially when I'm nervous or distressed. Rani does not have feathers. I've never had a phantom shift before coming into the system (unless we count the false phantoms of what I, unable to retract my own fangs as a Kindred should be able to, convinced myself fangs retracting "should" feel like while trying to learn, which it turns out isn't at all what that actually feels like). It's unclear whether this is something I'd have while fronting alone or not, since Rani doesn't leave the front, but either way, it's new, and strange.

For another, I periodically get draconic instincts that are familiar to Rani, but which I've never had before. Primarily, these seem to link to traits I already had - namely, I've always been protective and somewhat territorial (I'm told I'm a very Tzimisce kind of Tremere, to those for whom that means anything), but now when an urge to protect and shelter someone strikes, it's accompanied by the brief impression of wanting to coil a huge, unmistakably draconic body around them and snap and snarl at the offender. This is something Rani is used to; it is not something I am used to or have ever experienced before joining this system, but I'm unsure how much it's coming from them, how much from me, and how much from the inevitable blur between the two of us.

Thankfully, I have not been influenced by any of the more... visceral draconic instincts Rani is familiar with, at least not yet. I hope it remains that way. I had quite enough of that from my Beast (the vampiric survival instinct, more or less, for those unfamiliar - which knows only flee, fight, and feed), and while the dragon is obviously less malevolent, I have no interest in being influenced by such a thing. That is the one good thing about being back in a living human body - no Beast to contend with.

[emerald-technologist]

Feeling safe in someone's energy is a different type of intimacy. That peace of mind and security is very underrated and I cannot emphasize this enough.

[emerald-technologist]

Just so we’re all clear, it is okay to miss people you no longer want in your life.

[emerald-technologist]

(asking if someone is plural) are they...you know....playing on multiplayer???

[emerald-technologist]

[emerald-technologist]

Just saying happy Trans Day of Visibility to all the systems (and individual system members!) out there who are trans, nonbinary, systemfluid, or whatever label y'all use to describe the ways in which you're cisn't.

And an extra shoutout to the trans/nonbinary fictives, factives, and introjects.

Stay safe, keep going.

[emerald-technologist]

[emerald-technologist]

this made me laugh

[emerald-technologist]

This might suck to hear, but if you're a people pleaser that is motivated by praise and avoids disagreements, you are easy to manipulate.

When I was in therapy after surviving years of domestic violence, my therapist had to tell me that my personality was primed for abuse and we needed to work on that so I would be better equipped to see the red flags and respond appropriately in the future.

I'm still working on this, and it's been 8 years. If you tell someone how you want to be treated, what behaviors you don't tolerate in your life, what you're looking for in that relationship, and they react negatively, don't compromise yourself. Just move on.

This one's for all the praise-kink girlies: differentiate, self-actualize, stay sexy

[emerald-technologist]

I find myself curious, so - to my fellow vampires, whatever kind of vampire you may be, do you consider yourself-as-vampire to be human as well, or completely separate from humanity? Not in the sense of “I have a vampire kintype, but I’m also human,” but rather in the sense of “if I was physically my vampire self and not in my current body, I would/would not consider myself to be human”.

Please feel free to elaborate on your thoughts and feelings about this in tags/reblogs; I find it an interesting discussion in-source, and I’m curious if others have thoughts on the matter here.

[emerald-technologist]

Alternate magpie pattern. This one is available free for personal use on your phone, tablet or desktop :)

[emerald-technologist]

"someone who allows you to rest" is the relationship dynamic of all time

[emerald-technologist]

Spirit Animal is racist.

Patronus was invented by a transphobe.

I think it’s time we all suck it up and say what we mean: fursona.

[emerald-technologist]

Hey fictiokins. It it werid for you when you find another one of you? Would it be odd or are you angry about it, are you happy it do you not care? I'm really curious now.

[emerald-technologist]

Speaking as fictionkin and a fictive system member, I am so tired of seeing kin and fictives trying to police and restrict how other people interact with and discuss fandom, and the fanfiction and art they create and share.

Your source is not your property. The characters your kintypes and fictives come from are not your property.

If you can't deal with human/singet/normie fans and how they treat your source material as fictional then you need to block tags or users, or not interact with fandom at all.

You cannot control the way other people interact with fandom for the sake of your own feelings.

[emerald-technologist]

Caldwell, what is your favorite bird, and why is that particular bird your favorite? I'll go first. My favorite bird is the crow, because they're intelligent and also they look majestic.

Sincerely, a biologist-in-the-making

You know, I've honestly never thought about it. I do like crows. I'm also somewhat fond of herons - they're not as intelligent as corvids, but they're aesthetically pleasing, and more capable of defending themselves than most people realize, which I can appreciate.