emily-erdbear - Tumblr blog

[emily-erdbear]

i cant get over the king charles portrait. they made that thing to age in his place. that painting hangs in the house of a too-friendly family you find in the post apocalyptic wasteland who inexplicably has a ready supply of fresh meat. if mario jumped into that painting he wouldn't find a charming platformer he would be flayed and hanged like a medieval criminal by an unseeable force in a droning red void. that painting is a color blindness test for people who work in IT but believe in the divine right of kings. that painting is going to weep the sequel to blood. after he dies charles is gonna crawl outta that thing like sadako.

[emily-erdbear]

remembering all the times i spent money

[emily-erdbear]

His ❤️Michael❤️ Face

[emily-erdbear]

whenever they put Spock in all black it’s like. slut.

[emily-erdbear]

Sugardaddy/sugarbaby relationship but the one with money is an annoying 23 year old who like, made a successful app in college or something, and the poor one is a 40-something single dad with medical debt who was just 'made redundant' at his soul-killing job. Mmmmm-hmmmm.... Thinking about this.

[emily-erdbear]

JanuAUry day 19: Vampires/Werewolves. More like goofy goobers.

[emily-erdbear]

wooooo lesbian au body headcanons (everyone cheered)

(small warning for non-sexual nudity)

[emily-erdbear]

So, Izzy and Stede start hooking up while Ed goes to be a white girl in nature and Stede is...not good at sex. But at his insistence in improving, as with piracy, he insists they keep a log of his experiences. Which Izzy thinks is ridiculous but...it actually helps. (Plus he does enjoy giving Stede a numerical score, under any and all circumstances.)

Flashforward to Lucius borrowing it, thinking it's a novel, and ending up reading it (then reading it aloud to the crew, with voices) and then it gets a bit lost and ends up on a stall with some other used books...where Ed finds it.

[emily-erdbear]

Prime Video: So, Good Omens Season 2 

Neil Gaiman: Yes

Prime Video: What‘s the Story? 

Neil Gaiman: No story, just vibes.

Prime Video: Neil, we need a little more to work with. 

Neil Gaiman: Okay, do you remember Sister Theresa Garrulous and Sister Loquacious from Season 1?

Prime Video: Yes?

Neil Gaiman: They‘re in a coffee shop AU.

Prime Video: Aaaand?

Neil Gaiman: And they need to fall in love. 

Prime Video: But Neil what about Crowley and Aziraphale?

Neil Gaiman: Oh, don‘t worry. They‘re already in love. 

[emily-erdbear]

Tomato soup is literally the perfect meal. You get to eat like a kilo of vegetables with no effort, get protein from the meatballs and carbs from the toasted bread and all together it fills you up well too

[emily-erdbear]

Doctor Who 2.11 - "Fear Her" / 4.09 - "Silence in the Library"

[emily-erdbear]

Calico Jack with bootyshorts that say HANDS HERE on the ass. Is that anything.

[emily-erdbear]

Absolutely fascinated by the Fairy Walrus Discourse. Naturally, I have a take:

This actually is also a fantastic illustration of a truism about Telling Stories that we all implicitly know but rarely acknowledge aloud: the improbable is far less believable than the impossible.

When you invoke the impossible, you silence the critically thinking, reality checking, lie detecting circuitry. Simpler rules reign supreme.

The Walrus, however implausible, is a thing which is real, and so whatever narrative you imagine either precedes or follows the reveal will be constrained by the envelope of the possible.

This is a webbed site all about Narrative.

The person answering the door to a Fairy is in a fairy tale, and frankly most of us would be overjoyed to find ourselves in a fairy tale. Fairy tales have sensible rules, structures we understand, tropes we love and hate.

A Walrus on your doorstep is just one more giant reminder that the world is a maelstrom of chaos, incomprehensible in its complexity, full of moving parts which obey no narrative. It’s another dose of “what fresh hell is this?”

A Walrus on your doorstep is a burden. A Fairy on your doorstep is an escape.

[emily-erdbear]

hairy lads

[emily-erdbear]

I don't think we talk about Fang enough.

He's sweet, he loves animals, he drinks tea pinkie-finger up, he can break a man over his knee. His name is Kevin (he comes from a long line of Kevins). He cries, he forgives, he has tender fingies, he wears a Hot Topic belt on his head. A character of all time.

Also I think that maybe he and Roach should kiss.

[emily-erdbear]

One other small nitpick of The Devil's Chord was having Ruby say 'wait, if we're going to the 60s I should change my clothes!' while wearing an outfit that would not read as even vaguely out of place in the 1960s.

1963 is certainly on the early side for a minidress like this one, and her hair and makeup would read as a little off, but this is not the sort of outfit that would get the anachronism police called on you. If anything, it shows how much 21st century fashion still owes to the '60s. You could show me a picture of Susan Foreman in that outfit and I wouldn't bat an eyelid.

[emily-erdbear]

The L word 😳