emilyswift13 - Tumblr blog

emilyswift13 · 6 years ago

Text

Just Another Swiftie Story, est. 2003

Point Pleasant Beach, July 23, 2003

If you’re here, you’ve probably read the story of how I met Taylor. Thank you for reading that! For those who haven’t, I’m including the original photos below. I’m trying to personally thank each of you who shared and left sweet comments for me to read. You’ll never know how thoroughly you warm my heart. Your comments make me smile and occasionally bring out a big, satisfying belly laugh. So thank you, thank you, thank you. I’m so in awe of the force and overwhelming love in this underground Swiftie family.

It may sound crazy, but sharing my photo and my story has always been drenched in vulnerability. Meeting Taylor, for me, was like meeting a friend when I needed one the most. Our actual encounter didn’t last more than five minutes - quick exchanges, excited cheesy grins, and a signed CD. I walked away, wishing she went to my school. However, the story that no one knows, the story that makes all of this a little delicate, is what bonded me to her music for life. A couple of months after meeting her, after starting 7th grade (I think I may have mentioned 6th grade in a comment somewhere - I’m sorry! ��🏻‍♀️ That was a typo!), my stepfather started molesting me.

I used her songs as an escape at first, letting the joy of Lucky You and the longing of Smokey Black Nights ground me. My bathroom door didn’t lock when I was a kid, and that was terrifying. But singing her songs in the shower made me feel strong, made me feel like, as long as I was singing, I was safe. In those moments, those melodies went from being an escape to being a shield. And just like that, her music, her lyrics, and her voice imprinted on my soul. After that, every song that came out was another piece of armor. Her demo CD, for three years, was either in my portable CD player or my boombox. It’s worn, and I’m honestly amazed it still plays. I have diary entries dated back to that time, addressed directly to her. Like an old confidant, she was the only one who knew the dark and twisty of my life and was able to pull me through the deepest of quicksand. It made the secrets I carried a little more bearable.

My story is not unique. Among other things, my parent’s messy divorce led to lots of turbulence (and lots of therapy!). But, all things considered, I had a good childhood. It was filled with joy, challenges, and sadness. I never wanted for anything. Many people have it much, much worse. The only reason I tell you this story is to explain why I’m so terribly grateful for all of the love you’re so freely giving and why I never publicly shared my photo, my memory, before now.

I’m envious of those who scream her lyrics at concerts, because I usually turn inward. Letting that much emotion loose is a little frightening. I wear a toothy grin, sway, and get caught up in the energy. Up to this point, my relationship with Taylor was a precious secret, something steeped in so much history and yet still so raw. I kept my Swifite-ness offline and chose to collect unreleased songs, magazines, calendars, books, and Christmas ornaments instead. I wanted to hear HER voice - not what others had to say about her. All else was just noise and speculation. Needless to say, some jokes went WAY over my head LOL (Karyn, Becky, 123LGB, etc.).

I’m utterly flattered by the awe you all have regarding my devotion to Taylor. But you know what? I can’t take credit for that. It wasn’t a conscious choice. I am forever bonded to her voice, her lyrics, and her heart. No matter what era, no matter what rhythm or beat or instrument, I will always be here to listen, to support, to escape, and find comfort. Everything else falls away when I add another piece of her musical diary to my suit of armor, to my life’s soundtrack. There are always new wounds, new scars, but I find solace in knowing Taylor’s music is there, every step of the way. She has helped me wear my imperfections with pride.

To the amazingly selfless Swifties who are sharing my story and supporting me in this moment, please know how deeply appreciative I am of the acceptance, validation, and healing you’re providing. So, so much love and hugs to all of you.

And lastly, to T, I hope this makes it to you. Secret Sessions and Glow-Ups aside, my only wish is that you know how grateful I am for your tireless effort, your sacrifices, and the careful metaphors that shaped my life. You helped me to be fearless. Keep being a badass. @taylorswift

XO, the OG mother of swifties ❤️ 😉 😘

P.S. Thank you to Erica (@evswiftie) for sending me no less than 5 self-recorded videos on how to navigate and post on Tumblr hahaha. You’re awesoME!!!

1K notes · View notes

emilyswift13 · 6 years ago

Photo

This is a picture of my friend Becky. She used to be a happy, popular girl until one night she snorted marijuana at a party. She died instantly. Please, don’t do marijuana. It’s the most dangerous drug out there. Please don’t wind up like Becky.

279K notes · View notes

emilyswift13 · 6 years ago

Text

““Probably when I put Joe Jonas on blast on your show. That was so too much. I was 18… yeah.”

— Taylor on the most rebellious thing she did as a teenager.

2K notes · View notes

emilyswift13 · 6 years ago

Text

the year is 2056….ed sheeran is still on the divide tour and we still don’t know the name of ts7

2K notes · View notes

emilyswift13 · 6 years ago

Text