emjoy398

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A tale in 4 parts

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yes yes yes yes lmaooooooooooooo

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I still think it’s objectively fucked how the world is built for morning people and if you wake up later than everyone else you’re seen as a malicious aberration of some sort. I am that but it’s not because I wake up at 11 fuck yourself

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What Kris and Susie are doing for their school project

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I now gift one of my favourite family fued moments… cupine

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i havent stopped thinking about this tiktok and wanted it on my blog

[VD: A TikTok from @/soupygarbagejuice. It starts with a clip captioned "Biggest Croissant In Malaysia", of a waiter bringing out a large plate with a massive croissant on it out to a woman at a table. Voiceover says "Today I wanted to eat a Croissant–". A man stitches the video, greenscreened over the final frame. Transcript is as follows:

"A few months ago, this was the last TikTok I saw before falling asleep, and I didn't dream about croissants, I didn't dream about her. Every single dream that I had for a while took place in a reality where Billy Joel– one of Billy Joel's greatest hits was called 'The Biggest Croissant in Malaysia'. It just existed, it played on the radio, people would talk about it in the background, 'He played it at The Garden last night'! So at one point I woke up and did my best to recreate exactly what it sounded like in the dreams. [Singing over piano and drums] She ordered the biggest croissant in Malaysia! She ordered the biggest croissant in town, cause Daddy's not around anymore! He's in Singapore, he's in Singapore!"

End VD]

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chairman and her very special citizen <3

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she was seriously worried that the city would get rid of the grafitti before she could take a picture with it

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i think he does this sometimes

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very much a fan of this post so i felt compelled to make my own. print it out and give it to your coworkers or hang it in your cubicle and go "don't make me tap the sign"

[emjoy398]

[emjoy398]

very much a fan of this post so i felt compelled to make my own. print it out and give it to your coworkers or hang it in your cubicle and go "don't make me tap the sign"

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Weird when you first start paying attention to animal noises and realize they don't actually sound like the words we use

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american puritan names have nothing on the first name of this 17th century dutch woman artist i just read about. my girl Tesselschade ('texel damage') named after the shipwrecking of her father's 44 trade ships on the coast of the island Texel in 1593.

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I have a new theory that the alt-right movement is secretly controlled by a pack of dogs

Exhibit A: this trend where a couple is on a walk in a farmers market and he dutifully protects wife from threats he invents: I call this type of guy "neurotic chihuahua scared of falling leaves-boyfriend"