emm-is-journalling

[emm-is-journalling]

I Hoped That You Would Come

‘Where is he?’ he demanded, his voice breaking against the colossal thrones like a wooden spear against the walls of Troy. The crowd stirred over his shoulder, whispers amongst ghosts, but Achilles paid them no mind. 

‘And who do you speak of?’ asked Minos, the barbs of his lashing tongue catching Achilles’s skin, tearing what little remained unmarked. He turned his attention to the last of the judges, and spoke solely to Rhadamanthus. 

‘Patroclus.’

~/~

After his death, Achilles finds himself in the underworld. Prepared to face his judgement and eternity, he marches into hell, only to learn that Patroclus never arrived. He sets up vigil outside the gates, and waits.~/~

Pairing: Patroclus x Achilles

Rating/Warning: M / Major Character Death and injury description

Words: 30858

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29013111/chapters/71208840

[emm-is-journalling]

i absolutely love this review

[emm-is-journalling]

the whole time i was like,

THATS ARTHUR AND MERLIN

oh, another popular tragic mlm ship? look me in the eye and tell me they’re not just another achilles and patroclus. another merlin and arthur. another sirius and remus. another neil and todd. tell me it’s not just another golden boy and his seemingly mundane best friend. look me in the eye-

[emm-is-journalling]

Gunnar Widforss (1879 - 1934) - Winter Landscape. 1922. Watercolour.

[emm-is-journalling]

i'm back!

it was snowing! though not as much as i would like, but thats fine.

i went to an ice skating ring. havent skated in a long time, but its fine. didnt fall in all 30 minutes, and the man said i did good!

i also smoked the last cigar in my packet, so ill need to buy more. hope gran doesnt smell it.

ill start working after dinner.

[emm-is-journalling]

i love winter. i only wish the snow would stay more than, like, two days though. im going outside, hope it snows.

[emm-is-journalling]

i havent talked to my best friend in weeks. i should call him. soon.

[emm-is-journalling]

im tired. im eating rice pudding my gran made me. i will go on a walk as soon as my phones charge hits 15 perc.

[emm-is-journalling]

hello.

i am emm. i am 16 years old and i have an internet addiction.

ao3 and youtube have always been my biggest supporters and my biggest enemies. they raised me. youtube as a small child and ao3 as i got older.

i learned about consent, sex, safe sex, and how to talk to people. i learned about relationships and sexualities and genders. i learned how to accept myself. i learned i had ADHD, depression and other issues. i learned that asking help was not bad.

but, among all that, i got extremely addicted.

it became so that i couldn't take care of myself. that all my brain wanted was dopamine and that the only place i can get it was ao3 and yt.

i tried stopping but every time i tried, the relapse hit me way harder.

i tried cutting it off completely, i tried prescripted drugs, i tried alcohol, i tried smoking, i tried overworking myself, underworking myself, porn; ANYTHING, but it didnt work.

i need something managable. something that, while not cutting off internet completely, will make me lose interest in it.

i read from wikihow, the only site real, that an addiction journal could help so this is what i am doing now.

lets hope that this helps.

peace,

emm.