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i just know Jason must have been having Ra’s STRESSED in the league. his daughter dips a Wayne kid in the Lazarus pit and then trains him to the point where he becomes worthy of the fucking all-blades, and then he just is??? chilling in Nanda Parbat for a while??? wandering Ra’s base and loudly planning his scheme to manipulate his adoptive father into killing some circus clown???? there’s no way that Jason didn’t have Ra’s blood pressure through the roof. in british terms, Ra’s was Prince Philip and Jason had a bottle of sprite.

Ra’s: what do you WANT, Jason?

Jason, having just burst into Ra’s chambers holding a plate of toast: THERE you are, finally. i just needed to be in your presence to do this

Jason: *summons the all-blades*

Ra’s: WH-

Jason: cool it; not gonna stab you. just needed pure evil around so i can butter my toast.

Ra’s:

Ra’s, subtly cancelling the four bodyguards he’d just summoned: …mhm.

Jason, mouth full: anyway, you’re old,

Ra’s: …

Jason: been around a while, huh? what’s the most annoying torture you’ve ever seen or experienced?

Jason: because there’s that new Robin i need to make regret taking my place, and i’m trying to be creative about it. so? most annoying torture?

Ra’s: i have a feeling your intrusion on his life will do just fine.

Jason: aw, so supportive. thanks evil-grandpa.

Ra’s: get out of my room.

Jason: gEt OuT oF My RoOm- hey do we have any spare dynamite? i wanna put a bomb on my helmet

Ra’s: *groaning loudly*

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someone posts a blurry photo of batman with robin captioned 'lets fight crime with mama' and bruce has to pretend it didnt make him cry

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Damian: Todd, the whole family has been summoned, you must-

Jason: I don't have to do shit. Go to hell.

Damian: -tt- I, for one, am not surprised, I will inform the others of your cowardice.

Jason: yeah, yeah. The family disappointment per usual. I'll go back "home" when Alfred calls me himself. Now fuck off, I have a criminal empire to run.

Damian: If you care, it is Drake who called the meeting, not father.

Jason, hesitating: Yeah, well, he knows how I feel. Whatever. We can fight it out later if he's pissed.

Damian: I will waste no more precious air on a buffoon such as you *disappears*

Later

Damian: Drake, as duty I must inform you that Todd will not be here tonight. He is far too home-phobic presently.

Tim, freezes in place, because he called the family meeting so he could come out as bisexual and actively dating a man: You mean homophobic?

Damian, rolling his eyes: if that is the proper terminology, yes

Tim: what, uh, what else- I mean, did he say anything else?

Damian: the typical drivel. "Go to hell" "Family disappointment per usual" He said if you don't approve of his decision, to challenge him in battle.

Tim: he... wow. I didn't think he'd...

Tim: Holy shit. Wait. Does that mean, do you- you know why I called the meeting? You know? Who else knows? Does everyone know?

Damian: imbecile. If everyone knew, then what would be the point of the meeting?

Tim: right. Stupid question. How do you feel about it?

Damian, thinking Tim asked his opinion on Jason's decision to avoid the family: -tt- Father and Grayson will be disappointed but not surprised. Gordon will be silently annoyed. Pennyworth might share sympathy but no doubt conceals his true opinions on the matter. Cain and Brown will shrug it off. Thomas might not care, but he is rather unpredictable. It is of little consequence.

Tim: okay. And... and you?

Damian: why should I care? We make our choices and must live with the consequences. I do not pretend to understand as I would never choose to estrange myself from father, or otherwise actively ruin the bonds I spent so many years forging simply to preserve my own comfort.

Tim: estranged??

Damian: I presume that is the goal. That or torture father with guilt and grief for eternity.

Tim: d- don't you think that's a little dramatic?

Damian: indeed. Grayson would claim it would 'tear the family apart' or such nonsense. I am the only sensible one in this useless household.

Tim: well, thank you for... debriefing me on the situation, Damian.

Damian: -tt- try not to waste our time more than necessary in the meeting tonight, Drake. *leaves*

Tim:

Tim: this is red robin on coms line 12, repeat, this is red robin on coms line 12

Tim: The meeting scheduled for tonight is cancelled. False alarm. I'll send updates if anything changes. And I'm

Tim:

Tim: i have some business to address these next few weeks. Going low contact. Red Robin out.

Tim:

Tim: *starts crying*

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Diana Prince: *happily patting superman and batman on the backs* Good job gays!

Bruce Wayne: *nervous laughter* Did you mean to say gu-

Diana Prince: Did I stutter?

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Wonder Woman #21 - "Murder on Mt. Olympus II" (2025)

written by Tom King art by Guillem March

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"seeing a Robin on their own means something is wrong or Batman is injured" wrong, sometimes -- sometimes -- seeing a Robin out on their own means Batman is hiding somewhere on a roof above this little intersection and Robin is brightly-colored and happy-to-be-there bait. that isn't an easy win, that's a trap.

now, the more interesting question is -- what do you need to do in order for Batman to intervene? before he swoops down and gets in the middle of it? at a certain point, Batman doesn't need to come down at all. but if you're a goon and you're doing some math on getting the Bat, you might think springing that trap is worth it.

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it's now deltajune which means deltarune is deltasoon

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I love seasonal fruits they're like girl we're back lol

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okay, hold on, time out. that’s not fair. if they’re allowed to shoot energy beams using the power of friendship, i should be able to summon a monster using the power of divorce

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i'm not a lesbian as far as i know and i already have a wife but thanks tumblr

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i got these knockoff boots online and instead of the brand name on the tag they have the name of an apparently nonexistent martin scorsese movie??? what the fuck

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Harvey representing the Batkids in court for whatever reason is so funny to me.

“Your honor, my client was simply standing on business.” (Jason)

“Your honor, respectfully, you weren’t fucking there.” (Damian)

“Your honor, it’s pride month.” (Tim)

“Your honor, my client ate with that. “ (Cass)

“Your honor, my client is literally just a girl.” (Duke)

“Your honor, my client would like to plead “daddy issues” (Dick)

“Your honor, my client can name three songs.” (Steph)

“Your honor, my client locked the fuck in.” (Terry)

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You're a traveler who stumbles upon a hidden society that appears to be a true utopia. No crime, no oppression, no poverty, only peace, and joy. The people are genuinely kind. And yet you can’t shake the feeling that something must be wrong. The twist? There is no catch. It really is a utopia.

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The dragon snarled at the knight as she hid the princess behind her, rearing her head back she let out a loud roar, "FOR THE LAST TIME! I GOT FULL CUSTODY IN THE DIVORCE, THE KING GOT THE CASTLE AND THE GOLD!"

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You are an immortal who has been alive for over 2000 years. Nowadays, you work as a history teacher. Thing is, a lot of the history textbooks are just flat-out WRONG, and you would know; you were there for a lot of the events they cover. Fed up, you decide to teach what ACTUALLY happened.