emobeomgyu

[emobeomgyu]

"Take my hand, let's see where we wake up tomorrow" series by darlingriki on ao3.

It's been MONTHS since I first read this fic and it still haunts my mind. I do NOT play abt this fic

I literally have not even reread it since my first time and yet I'm still crying at the THOUGHT of it

This fic genuinely ruined me....like forever.....

Reading it felt like getting pegged for 9 hours straight and receiving no aftercare except a pat on the back afterwards

Not even a fucking exaggeration.......like 290k words of nothing but despair and tragedy

If you read Anything but Mine first.....do NOTT read the rest. It is a fucking trap and will drag you into the pits of hell

Cross Your Heart (won't tell no other) fucking ruined me so bad I genuinely couldn't stop crying and it got so bad to the point I could see the fic anymore

I think I'm a masochist or something because I kept reading and couldn't sleep that day

All 165k words of You Were Never Mine (but do you remember?) Is also fucking torture. The suspense leading up to finally figuring out what happened with riki and the flashbacks are so torturous.

I would seriously love to read all of darlingrikis works like I've had charybdis in my tabs for months but I cannot get myself to do it

Literary masterpiece. Go read it.

[emobeomgyu]

DO NOT TAKE THE AO3 AT 3AM PILL😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[emobeomgyu]

Paranoid abt irls somehow finding my tumblr.....if yk me.....no u dont......this isn't who u think it is....

[emobeomgyu]

mfs be listening to ghosting before they even get the CHANCE to feel happy

[emobeomgyu]

Thoughts on DESIRE: UNLEASHED

STREAM DESIRE:UNLEASHED

STREAM BAD DESIRE (WITH OR WITHOUT YOU)

AOTY js dropped. Fucking insane.

First Listen + Thoughts

Flashover:

I personally love their intro songs sm and this would've been crazy with narration (ofc it's still PERFECT)

I LOVE THE INSTRUMENTAL????

The vocals are INSANEEEEEE

Bad Desire:

THE WHISPERED ENHYPEN??????

Oh my god shut up this is so good....the bass....everything....

The livestream for the mv was SO laggy for me so I couldn't hear it as well but omg it's SO GOOD

I was lowk scared when I saw the teaser but I think it mightve been the visuals in the teaser that made me think the songs would be lighter???

I LOVE IT SM THO WHATTTTT I'm going crazy I'm so glad it wasn't what I thought it ws gonna be holy shit

I definitely see the concept they're going for now

Outside:

HOLY SHITTTTTT WHAT THE FUCKKKKKK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCKK

PRETTY BOY???? DRACULA???? GUYS STOP

THIS IS SO FUCKING GOOD IM GEEKINGGGGG

THE RAPPING??? THE OVERLAPPING FOR WATCH ME????? SUNOOOOO?????

THE BEAT IS FUCKING INSANEEEEE IM GOING CRAZY THIS IS SO FUCKING GOODDDDDD IM GOING XRAZY WHAT THE FUCK

THE PART STARTING AT 1:00 IS FUCKINF CRAZY IM GOING INSANE THIS SO GOOODDDDRD WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK

OH MY GOD IM GONNA BE SO ANNOYING THIS IS SO FUCKING GOOODDDDDDDD

This is ni-ki's era I can feel it.....cs wtf....oh my god SHUT UPPPPP HIS PARTS R SO FUCKING GOOD

Loose (Korean Version):

Pre-release so no new opinions💔

In the meantime, my current thoughts

I can fully see the concept they were tryna go for like this rlly reminds me of a like???? They're going full like sexy boy group with this and I love it

I'm feeling some influences from like 2000s/2010s american music is that js me

Outside is so fucking good I'm sorry holy shit I'm gonna be so annoying for this entire month....

I'm SO excited to hear helium omgGGGGG

Helium:

STOPPPPPPPP HOLT SHIT

THE BASS HOLY COW IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE IT BUT HOLY SHITTTT

JAY I FUCKING LOVE YOU SO MUCHHHHH WHAT THE HELLL....omfg whyd they turn down the instrumentals for the teaser this is fucking INSANEEE

THIS IS SO GOODODDDDDD

THE INSTRUMENTALS ARE FUCKINF INSANE IM BITING MY PILLOWWWW

HEESEUNG UR FUCKING INSANE FOR THOSE VOCALS WHAT IN THE WORLDDD

1:50 oh my god

2:00 OH MY GODDDDDS

JAY YOU DESERVE UR ASS ATE BC WHAT THE HELLLLLLLL OH MY GODDDDDDDD

AGAIN THIS IS NI-KIS ERA BRO

the ending shut UPPPPP

Too Close:

Heeseung. Ykw the whole damn group deserves their ass ate

Okay ik I ws lowk hating on a lighter/more refreshing concept earlier but I fw this HEAVYY

The build ups on all of these songs are fuckinf crazy

1:10 OH MY GOD???? the bass is Fucking INSANE on these songs....enhypen in general omg I love them they turn UP that bass

This sounds so fun and bouncy omgdhushdjs

Ranking (excluding kor/eng ver.)

1. Outside

2. Bad Desire (With or Without You)

3. Helium

4. Flashover

5. Too Close

6. Loose

I absolutely love every song on here. This does NOT mean I hate any song on there bc this album is fuckinf crazy and each song deserves the same love

Final Thoughts/Summary:

I feel like this album PERFECTLY explores different styles of sexy? Ykw????

The contrast between the songs are kinda insane and idk if that's a good or bad thing but honestly I fw it heavy

Fucking LOVE outside oh my god.

Said this like a billion times but Ni-Ki is DEF owning this era hands down.

I'm so glad that some of the songs were much more intense/darker than they were presented in the teaser

1000000/10. Stream this album. Stream bad desire.

[emobeomgyu]

BABE WAKE UP AOTY JS DROPPED.

[emobeomgyu]

Txt lore still exists!!!!!!

I say as they drag me back to the asylum

[emobeomgyu]

Enhypen (engene) rant blehh

I need 2 get the fact that enhypen is 1 of my ults out the way

This isn't a rant abt enhypen, js certain engenes

Anyway i feel like (SOME) engenes have such an unnecessary problem with gay jokes.....like they fully take it 2 heart

Don't get me wrong, I get the problems that come with like accusing and assuming people of being gay and I understand it's even worse for kpop idols cs of how conservative sk is

But like.....what

Whenever I see posts that make gay jokes abt enhypen (and specifically sunoo), I can js IMAGINE the comments

"Guys don't assume he's gay" "did he tell you this?" "I don't think he's gay, maybe bi"

Like engenes take it SOOO serious

I've literally never seen any other groups fandoms react like this and I mean whatever it's your opinion and choice

I js can't help but notice the large amount of engenes who take it SUPER serious

It is rlly js a joke....like what

Maybe it's bc of enhypens avoidance of fan service/excessive skinship and their past (rlly stupid) "controversies" abt not being close or "gay enough"

(Which ws, again, rlly stupid ??? But idk thats a rant for later)

There's also obviously the fact enhypen is regarded as js a rlly straight group

Maybe it like js grows a fandom that js doesn't tolerate gay jokes that much but still...

How does one take a gay joke THAT seriously

It's like trying to joke and say the sky is purple but someone starts yelling back at you with data and proof that the sky is actually blue

And specifically when it's about sunoo, you always hear abt how js because he's fem doesn't mean he's gay

And like? I mean ignoring that it, again, is not that serious, that's rlly not the woke hot take you think it is

Like I think YOURE the one who's obsessed with his sexuality and speculating all this stuff

Anyway, this is such a non issue and I don't think anyone should be caring that much but I can't control what people are like

(Also I'm the one who's posting a whole rant abt it so ig I'm guilty too)

Whatever,,,tldr: I think engenes r weirdly on guard abt gay jokes abt enhypen but wgatever

[emobeomgyu]

STOP PERCIEVING MEEE STOP MISCHARACTERIZING MEEEEE STOPPPPP STOPPPPPP

[emobeomgyu]

Anxious avoidant attachment a fucking bitch

[emobeomgyu]

I'm sorry I can't be the person you want

I'm sorry for being so socially awkward it's almost disgusting

Trust me when I say it sickens me more than it bothers you. It makes me want to cry and cry and cry until nothings left of me.

Trust me when I say It pisses me off more than it does to you.

I'm sorry for never knowing how to reply I'm sorry for being unable to hold conversations I'm sorry I force us to sit in silence half the time we're together I'm sorry that I've probabaly contributed to you being a quieter person I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry

I have no clue how I'm meant to reply to things and you've noticed that I almost follow a script word to word.

I know it annoys you. It annoys me too and I'm pissed that you feel that way. At both myself and you.

I don't know why you're still even in my life. You and I both know our relationship has been souring over for a while now.

We do not fit. We haven't fit in a while. The only thing bonding us together is the troubles and traumas we share.

No matter how poetic that sounds, it's a real fucking horrible way to connect.

We have no common interests. We both find me annoying. We are completely different people who have different paces of life. We both acknowledge that we hate eachother, even if it's played off as a "joke." But we both know there's a slight truth in it.

Worse of all, I can't be left alone. I'm not sure about you, but there is no one else in my life I am as close with. But, proximity by itself obviously means nothing.

As much as you and I don't fit and as much as I know I'm a pain in the ass to us both, I still find some comfort in our time together. You're one of the only people I feel I can confide in.

I don't want to and I rarely ever do, though.

I have this itching feeling you don't want to hear me and that there's no point in it. I have this itching feeling that you don't feel the same way as I do.

In my head, I'm just another person in your life who you have who pisses you off. But to me, you're genuinely my only close connection I have left.

I know you have better people in your life who you're closer with. Who you don't find annoying. Who are much more your league and up with your pace.

Who you haven't outgrown yet.

And next year, I'll have no choices left. And neither will you.

There's no doubt you'll find others with no trouble. Meanwhile, I'll continue to struggle to find meaningful connections and maintaining my mixed relationship with you.

Maybe I'm looking into it too much. Maybe I'm overthinking it. It's so funny, you'd never believe I'm talking about someone who's just a friend.

Maybe I'm just that much of a loser.

[emobeomgyu]

Reheating my lowkey homoerotic friendship 4 tha summer❤️‍🩹

[emobeomgyu]

I don't wanna go to school....I can't do anything anymore

Thank god most of my tests are over but it seriously pains me to do anything anymore

I don't have any urgent assignments and I can't care about the ones I have to do now

I don't wanna do anything this is all so tiring can't summer come sooner I need a break I wanna cry

5:53

[emobeomgyu]

I can feel it getting worse again

Where I get sick to my stomach and I wanna cry out my organs

This body is not right for me

I feel ill

I wanna cry what am I even meant to do there's no options for me I'm absolutely trapped

I act as if it doesn't affect me but it does

It affects me heavily that I can't be myself

I only ever feel it once everything's cleared out

There's no distractions and it finally settles in

I feel so dreadful and hopeless and I want to do nothing but cry and sleep

One day I am going to grow wings or whatever Thom Yorke said

[emobeomgyu]

Finals week or my final week

Actually I have finals for 3 more weeks but UGHHHHHH Ican't do this I'm genuinely tweaking out my mind

I'm going absolutely insane I have never felt more drained in my life I genuinely can't do this

I haven't even touched a single assignment or atom of any of my review papers yet I'm so tired

Js the thought of it makes me wanna punch myself

I need to keep myself awake

I have sticker on repeat. I got this. Fuck

[emobeomgyu]

HUENING KAI: love language