empressapprentice

[empressapprentice]

exit, pursued by crab

[empressapprentice]

"Coming to you live from the banks of the river Styx, we have received reports that Princess Diana has received special permission from heaven for an excursion and --yes there she is now-- she appears to be waiting on the dock before the ferry, and holding what looks to be a baseball bat in her hands."

[empressapprentice]

When everybody is online at the same time and the dash is thriving 😌

[empressapprentice]

that pic of miss Sigourney Weaver wearing a suit with her hair slicked back. im literally incoherent every time i think about it.

[empressapprentice]

something so poetic about this

[empressapprentice]

Lovely cat baby

[empressapprentice]

"get a goth girl" they said, "let her bite you" they said...They were right, this shit rules

[empressapprentice]

not to sound like a medieval peasant but, cheese and bread. garlic and butter. a menagerie of spices. potatoes. that’s what life is all about right there.

[empressapprentice]

“If she’s your girl then why she-” we’re polyamorous. she’s our girl. kiss me bro

[empressapprentice]

i hate when other people are funnier than me.

[empressapprentice]

The concept of a “favorite color” is so funny

[empressapprentice]

putting up “HELL IS FAKE” billboards in ohio to start a dialogue

[empressapprentice]

i keep seeing ta/ylor’s carbon emissions described as “disappointing” and sorry for sounding mean (lying) but how many times do people have to realize that someone who’s been massively wealthy and powerful since they were a teenager isn’t going to be a good person. why on earth are you disappointed this is par for the fucking course.

[empressapprentice]

cold take but we gotta reopen club penguin and webkinz and toontiwn and shit like rn.

[empressapprentice]

requested by stinky-redacted-inactive

[empressapprentice]