emptythroat

[emptythroat]

reblog if you need to lose 40 pounds (18kg) or more

it’s not a want at this point

[emptythroat]

I completed my twenty four hour fast and I'm pretty pleased. It's a small step, but a step none the less. I also weighed today, down to 161, so hopefully, in three days, I'll break 60!!!

[emptythroat]

honestly the thing about my eating disorder that makes recovery so hard for me is that i don’t generally have that bad of body dysmorphia. i’ve lost 25 pounds and i can SEE the results, i can see my ribs now when i lie down, i can see that my legs are skinnier, my fingers are slimmer, even my face looks a little more angular

i’m still far from where i want to be with my body but seeing the physical changes is so addicting and i just can’t let myself look like i did before

[emptythroat]

[emptythroat]

I felt guilty enough to run out to my local skating rink and skate for two hours, which definitely made me feel better. I've been munching ice ever since. I'll be better tomorrow.

[emptythroat]

I ate three pieces of garlic bread and I want to die!!!!!

[emptythroat]

Remember why you are doing this

You are doing it for the compliments

You are doing it for the collarbones

You are doing it for a higher self steem

You are doing it for the cheekbones

You are doing it to wear the outfit you want

You are doing it to be happier

You are doing it for your thigh gap

You are doing it to wear those knee-high socks

You are doing it for a sharp jawline

You are doing it to have more confidence

[emptythroat]

these jeans fit me perfectly a month ago. if i can do it, you can do it.

[emptythroat]

lookin at thinspo in the bathroom during breaks is a kinda mood

change my mind

[emptythroat]

My height thinspo working it's fucking magic

Body check 6-21-19

5”5 121.6lbs

Top- small

Pants- US 3

[emptythroat]

stay on track for 6 months. just 6 months of hard work, for a lifetime of happiness

just work hard for 6 months. dont go over your calorie limit. dont binge. exercise regularly. thats all it takes. and watch in 6 months you’ll wonder why it took you so long to finally be who you always wanted to be. come on we can do it. just hold out for 6 months.

stay safe loves 👼🏽

[emptythroat]

sw: 170 - 7/18/18

[emptythroat]

Inhale/Exhale

[emptythroat]

Concept playlists

fury rages through you when you look at her, not at who she is, but at how much you love her

you’re out at a club high off whatever pill you got from your friend, and as you jump up and down, time stops and as you look at all the frozen people, wrapped in the red club lights, you feel more alone than ever. 

it’s 3 am and you’re sprinting down the road in only your underwear and a flannel from a party as an angry mob chases after. You’re grinning the whole way thinking, “this isn’t a bad way to go out” you yell wildly at the top of your lungs.

you know that episode of black mirror with the lesbian couple and the club that goes through decades? yeah, this is the playlist to that club. 

you’re tanning in the summer of ‘85 while listening to your newest walkman full of your favorite songs. 

you wipe the blood off your hands in the gym locker room sink. It pools down the drain and the red reminds you to reapply your lipstick. You fix your high ponytail, grab your pom-poms, kick his leg farther into the shower stall and walk out to the stadium with a huge grin on your face. 

You’re a new god and it’s your first day on Olympus. You watch the power around and feel thunder in your heart and lightning crackle at your fingertips.

[emptythroat]

21 days

It’s supposed to take 21 days before doing something becomes a habit. 

So just think. 

21 days without binging could be a lifetime of self-control.

21 days of not eating after 6 could mean always waking up skinny.

21 days of actually working out could mean a lifetime of thin.

21 days.

[emptythroat]

Introduction to Me

I'm sitting in the corner of a room with my nephews asleep just beside me. It's past midnight. I can hear my sibling snoring from the living room. I feel like I've hit a low. I've been wandering around the house to find the best place for data so I can stare at thinspo and other pretty girls, and the only person I care to talk to about how I'm feeling is trying to desensitize himself to me and won't answer my messages without making me feel.. Wrong.

It's been four or five years of unhealthy food habits, going back and forth between eating everything and nothing at all. My stomach stopped registering hunger pains but my tongue craves the sweet taste of calories. I can go days without eating, even went and got medicine to stop migraines. I want to be done with wincing when I look down or in a mirror. I love the feeling of an empty stomach and right now, it's the only feeling that keeps me sane. The only one that gives me a sense of control.

So I'm here, the place I go every night to stare at thin bodies and read tips from amazing people who understand the struggle of losing control when everything in your body demands you fucking stop, stop eating, stop thinking, stop breathing. I hope none of you mind if I make myself at home. I'm going to struggle, but maybe being here will help me do what I've craved to for years. Thank you to any person who stops by, or the nothingness for letting me put my mind into the world. -T