empyrean01

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“Being understood is a different type of drug.”

— Jay Vespertine

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-Rumi

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— Edna St. Vincent Millay, from a letter to Arthur Davison Ficke featured in Savage Beauty: The Life of Edna St. Vincent Millay.

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i love studying. i love writing. i love reading. i love learning languages. i love doing mathematics. i love wandering over some particular sum and trying to come up with formulas to solve it. i love physics. i love biology. i love chemistry. i love history. i love literature. i love learning.

not to achieve the perfect grades ever. but it just amazes me that there's so much to know and learn and write and read about in the universe. my curiosity wouldn't get enough of it.

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Mary Oliver, from Long Life: Essays And Other Writings originally published in 2004

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"Aphrodite", I pleaded to the moon drenched night sky "Tell me"; if love is meant to heal, then why does it destroy those who choose it?" from somewhere beyond the clouds, i heard the Goddess laugh. And i knew.

Nikita Gill - Night Songs to Aphrodite

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"I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in my life. And I am horribly limited."

-Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals

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"Be with me always - take any form - drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh, God! it is unutterable! I can not live without my life! I can not live without my soul!"

-Emily Brontë, Wuthering Heights

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"And then, I have nature and art and poetry, and if that is not enough, what is enough?"

-Vincent van Gogh

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“To rest and trust; to give your soul in confidence: I need this, I need someone to pour myself into.”

— Sylvia Plath, from “The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath.”

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Gotta nip them in the bud from now on

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"I have a deeply hidden and inarticulate desire for something beyond the daily life." -Virginia Woolf.

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Virginia Woolf, A Room of One’s Own

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i don't pay attention to the world ending. it has ended for me many times and began again in the morning.

― Nayyirah Waheed, Salt

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“It’s not ‘natural’ to speak well, eloquently, in an interesting articulate way. People living in groups, families, communes say little–have few verbal means. Eloquence–thinking in words–is a byproduct of solitude, deracination, a heightened painful individuality.”

— Susan Sontag, As Consciousness Is Harnessed to Flesh (via the-book-diaries)

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Purpose

There’s a certain life I envision for myself

Often times I lose sight of it

I forget it

I come back to reality, neglecting my beloved dreamer self, the Pisces moon in me

I am a dreamer

An enthusiastic one

Often times I get lost in my own enthusiasm

In my passions and aspirations

In my love for self

A love for self that has taken years of mastery and of which is a constant work in progress

I want to live a life of serving my higher self and the universe itself

This excites me like nothing else ever has

This is not to say I don’t fear it’s unraveling and the mere thought of it not becoming a reality

This fear stems from limiting beliefs

But God, do I promise myself to not make the mistakes I witness others making

Neglecting thyselves to live their own lives through the image of others

God forbid !

I choose me. And I vow to always choose me.

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Come to life

Maybe if I write about you you’ll come to life

Maybe I just haven’t been putting in the effort to bring you closer to me

I haven’t worn my hands out from writing about you and who I imagine you to be

But surely you have been in my mind and my heart

You’ve existed beyond the words I could ever write

My mere existence confirms yours

The longing I have

The love I hold in place reserved just for you

The devotion I’m ready to bestow on you

The unconditional intentional commitment I’m so ready to have to us and to you

Sometimes I wonder if it’s safer to keep all this inside, to not jinx it all for us by putting the words out there

I don’t know, I’m conflicted

Writing about you somehow makes me feel closer to you

Feels like bringing you to life

I can’t wait to have you read all this, if you ever come…