endigolikesarson

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Have you guys seen that clip

Go off Kermit

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As , the United States, potentially heads into another forever war I can only think of this quote.

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Happy pride month to my dad. When I came out as bi to him, this man googled what it ment, look at me and said "ohh. Yeah. You get that from me. You'd have far more siblings of I only shaged women." And went right back to his work emails.

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Tumblr is the reason why I have something I call the cashier test which is, if i told this to a random cashier at the grocery store, would they think you're crazy at best or at worst would they be warranted in leaping over the counter and beating the shit out of you. Karl Marx mpreg is crazy, but not beating the shit out of you crazy. The cashier will probably talk about you to their coworkers and it might even make their day. Telling someone they're complicit in their own oppression by working a minimum wage job at a grocery store makes them warranted in leaping over the counter to beat the shit out of you.

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(TGAA2 spoilers)

If Wilson isn't Iris's father, and Mikotoba isn't Iris's father, then who the FUCK is Iris's father??????

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Yo my friend says that playing cookie clicker made her realise she was trans somehow (she says thank you)

video games really can do anything

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i don’t know how to explain to you people that no matter what a country’s government is like i do not and will not support the US indiscriminately bombing that country’s civilians and i don’t know why that’s a controversial take tbh

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concept: bootleg copies of memes

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i hate dogs with blue eyes. why is fucking jeff the killer at my back door

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No sun time

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I've been doing a lot of thinking about my family and how I was treated as a child, and honestly, my father has never seemed more amazing in my eyes.

I used to love Luigi(Mario's brother) when I was little. Like, he was my favorite character ever, and I had multiple plushies of him. Didn't give a fuck about Mario, vaguely tolerated Peach, but I loved Luigi.

On my first day of kindergarten, my dad gave me the number for his work phone and said it was Luigi's phone number. "If anything happens at school, call Luigi."And not even twenty minutes into my first day, I was having a panic attack. So I went down to the principal's office and called "Luigi."

Now, at the time, my father was in a meeting with his manager and his supervisor, along with most of his coworkers. And when I called, he picked up before he even left the room.

And he put on a very awful Italian accent and said, "Itsa me, Luigi! Whatsa the matter?"In front of his boss and coworkers. Without telling them what was going on. So they were absolutely bewildered, and he carried on like they didn't even exist. He only explained what was happening after I had calmed down and hung up, to which most of them responded with "Aww, cute."

I continued to call him whenever I got upset at school, and eventually his coworkers got in on it. I distinctly remember one of them impersonating Toad. I don't know why I'm telling you this, I just thought it might make you smile :)

this is so delightful I love your Luigi dad

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Stupid FKING joke alert

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i was gonna make a post saying its funny when in scifi the aliens dont say humans they call us terrans or earthlings or whatever. but while thinking about it i was like. well yknow in english we dont say 日本人 or nederlanders or les français so maybe its fairly accurate that aliens would pick some other word for us. we could probably get weirder about it actually.

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MAY YOUR DAY BE YAOIFUL ON THIS YAOI DAY EVERYONE 🥳🎉👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨💞

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Ate moldy chocolate. What’s next for my career?

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I have a feeling that this mini-comic already exists, but I forgot the original🥀

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