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life is beautiful

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LMFAO

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saw a pigeon scratching itself with its foot like a doggie at the bus stop today. delightful

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Napping in the sun together

(via)

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i learned today that my great great grandfather (dad's mom's grandfather) was not actually a member of the irish immigrant family at all but was in fact some random "nebulously eastern european" orphan that just kind of latched onto the family at the docks and they said "fuck it" and brought him to america???

1: i'm going to attribute my ability to properly squat to this.

2:

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Across The Spiderverse + Trivia

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“Why are you scared of dating” I’m not scared of dating, I just haven’t found anyone’s company to be more enjoyable than my own. And also I don’t care

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When the corporate customer service quiz has this as a question:

And you have to decide if you want to pass the course or be true to your heart.

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they're hiring me at the extra virgin olive oil factory as the oathsworn knight who protects the chastity of the olives