enodouf

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GUYS…

I DON’T FEEL SO GOOD…

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AAAAAAA

i like to think the reason march 7th and stelle become such fast friends (and more) is because march really enjoys teaching stelle all the little things she's had to learn since waking up. march 7th teaches stelle how to do their makeup, how to change their phone's background, how to sew cute patches on their clothes, how to make caramel and chocolate popcorn, how best to toast bread as not to burn it, how to sweeten Himeko's coffee to make it bearable, just a thousand little things.

these mundane experiences are precious to march 7th, and finally she has someone to share them with.

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i’m getting followed by bots :(

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ag

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project sekai characters' eyes based off the emojis the fandom's assigned to them

i was too lazy to include their other eyes, but there are a couple things i wanna mention: - tsukasa has a 4-armed star in both eyes, while saki and toya have a 4-armed star in one eye. so that when you add up the numbers of arms in tsukasa's eye, it's 8, and then you add up saki and toya's, it's another 8 :) - an's other eye would be the other side of the headphones - rui's other eye would show the string of the balloon instead of just another balloon (it starts at the top and then spirals in the middle) - kanade has an F clef in the other eye

i'll probably be drawing them with these eyes from now on just cuz i think it's funner (～￣▽￣)～

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yeah

i have such a weird relationship to Ena Shinonome because I don't talk about her and the minute She gets a focus event and I wanna throw up and cry and I don't shut up about her for like 24 hours and she has the most relatable commissions songs that also make me want to throw up and cry like girl what the fuck

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THEY MAKE ME VIOLENTLY ILL I'M GONNA LOOSE IT

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kanade GEE WILIKERS

i love how they handle kanade and her events. it's so neat to me how especially in her events, she's not really the focus. it always comes back to mafuyu, or mizuki, or ena. it's never "how's kanade doing?", but "how does kanade try to save her friends?"

and at this point i'm sure it's on purpose but not because the creators don't care about her, or prioritize other members over her. i think it's trying to illustrate just how deep kanade's savior complex runs, to the point where she never thinks about herself, but only others. she puts others before herself because at this point, that's easier than thinking about what's wrong with HER. because we know this girl is not okay !!! she's unhealthy and sickly and not mentally well !! the only person who makes sure she's eating well is honami and she's paid to do it !!! kanade makes her events about others because she's not really to look inside herself.

i see a lot of people talking about the other nightcord members and their problems, but it's not about kanade because kanade is trying to save them !!! it's self-punishing at this point i'd think, because i'm 90% sure that kanade is also helping people to atone for what she thinks she's done wrong, in a way ??? like we know she blames herself for her dad's hospitalization, and she tries to help and fix all these other people not only as a distraction from herself, but a way for her to try and find a way to "make it up" in a way, even though she's got nothing to make up for.

what i'm saying is that i'm pretty excited to see a kanade event where nightcord focuses on her and how she's doing. and they find out kanade is Not Okay

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I got tired of hearing the music from the story in the background of edits when this voice line was used so I took initiative and removed it

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The first time I read The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka, I was in my second year of college.

At the time, despite going to a university that was a 12-hour drive away, I faithfully returned home during every break, every holiday, and every long weekend. Much like Gregor Samsa, the protagonist of The Metamorphosis and breadwinner of the Samsa household, I thought my family needed me. They couldn't function without me. Texts and calls flooded in every day from my siblings, my mother, my father, so at the end of my second year of college, I wrote a creative nonfiction essay about The Metamophosis. My family is not like Samsa's, I claimed. Even if I get transformed into a bug like Samsa did, they would never faint at the sight of me. They accepted me each and every time I returned home from college, slightly changed from the last but still human at my core. They loved me, I said. They always will.

The recent release of Teniwoha's "Zamuza" via Project Sekai's N25 brought me back to that essay, and upon rereading it for the first time since I wrote it four years ago, I... pity myself. At 19, I had not yet come to terms with my family's dysfunction, my mother's narcissism, and my father's neglect. Being parentified growing up often means that you're the last of your siblings to realize you were cheated of a proper childhood, and that growing up too quickly has detrimental consequences on your health. Cortisol, the steroid hormone released into your body during long periods of stress, is only good for your body in smaller doses. Today, I am writing this post at 6am after rolling around in bed for hours, stuck in the limbo of waking and sleeping. Unfortunately, insomnia is only one of the issues that arise in adulthood after living in fight-or-flight mode your entire life. I would love to tell you more, but that would make this post way too long, so let's move on to the interesting stuff:

I see a lot of my younger self in Mafuyu Asahina, who puts on a "good girl" facade her entire life in order to meet the expectations of her demanding parents. By that I mean, she sacrifices her happiness and her identity to secure love and empathy from her mother, and boy do I know helpless that feeling can be. I only wish that when I was in high school, I also had good friends like Kanade, Mizuki, and Ena. That it didn't take me so long to realize that I am not responsible for my parents' emotions and that I did not need to take on adult responsibilities at a young age to be loved. Because love, as most people learn at a young age and I learned when I was a little older, is supposed to be unconditional.

Gregor Samsa, who transformed into a bug at the beginning of the story, died at the end of The Metamorphosis due to familial neglect. After sacrificing his entire life and identity to serve his family, they moved on quickly without him once he was no longer useful as their golden child. This would have been my fate, had I not pivoted my priorities later on during college to focus on myself. This would have been Mafuyu's fate, if not for her good friends who are unconditionally invested in her well-being. The song "Zamuza" is inspired by The Metamorphosis, and the song is often called "Samsa" when referred to in English. A tribute to Samsa, I think this song is not only Kanade's attempt to save Mafuyu, but also her way of making sure that Samsa, despite being forgotten by his family, will continue to be remembered by her audience.

Take a listen, if you haven't yet:

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so much of the fandom sees mafuyu as trans and i feel so out if the loop. i was hoping you could explain it to me like its a conspiracy theory (in a long-winded but fun way)(but only if your up for it)

Ok lets start with: Mafuyu sang Villain with Mizuki, which is an explicitly trans song. With Mafuyu themselves singing lines like:

And a line that implies Mizuki is making Mafuyu trans just by being near (at least how i read this one in a duo)

And both Mizuki and Mafuyu feeling the same way about their life

This is actually a very important thing about mizumafu, and trans mafuyu. They have very similar views of themselves, even more before transition Mizuki.

Not caring about themselves, or their lives, like there isnt much she wants to live for right now.

Mafuyu doesn't have much feelings about her appearance, doesnt like it, but doesnt dislike it either, it just exists, as if just a vessel for her. Stuff like this makes Mafuyu extremely relatable for trans people.

Plus, she does have a chosen name, Yuki, which is a gender neutral name might i add.

Plus, Mafuyu is forced to be someone she's not, which again is very relatable for trans people.

Idk man i just jumped on the bandwagon and had fun, because in the end, it is just for fun. Its something we know the game wont do, but its canon on most of our hearts.

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i think n25-KAITO is the funniest character in project sekai. man takes so long to show up in n25 sekai that it’s lampshaded in the first april fool’s event that it’s taking him forever and it almost takes him until the next april fool’s event to finally appear. he’s grabbing mafuyu by the neck and forcing her to speedrun her own arc. he felt the arc fatigue setting in so he’s hitting it with a stick until it does something. hearing KAITO’s soft robotic voice grilling the fuck out of mafuyu is genuinely hilarious. the inter-virtual singer discourse when he inevitably tries to order the others around will be so funny. i hope he and MEIKO get into a fist fight while the others cheer on the sideline and mizuki starts a betting pool. also samsa fucking slaps.

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I DO THIS IT’S GREAT

"dont die" is my favorite thing to tell people when they say theyre gonna go do something. going to the store? dont die. going to the bathroom? don't die. going to Mars? don't die. going to write an email? don't die. driving to the gas station? don't die. it fits every situation except for maybe a funeral visitation because then i think thatd be a little bit rude

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anyone else waiting desperately for pjsekai to properly unpack that tsukasa made his sekai alone or is it just me

because like mafuyu making the empty sekai is one of the driving forces for n25 (especially in the main story) but with tsukasa and the wonderland sekai it’s always only ever really mentioned in passing if at all? like the wxs main story focuses on tsukasa recovering his repressed memories/feelings in regards to why he wanted to become an actor but aside from that it’s never really made that important? 

and given the only other instance of a single person creating a sekai is mafuyu it feels strange that with tsukasa it hasn’t been given that same level of focus

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the more i look at prsk content on the funky little app, the more i get the notification that someone followed me

tumblr don’t lie to me 💀

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it’s an odd thing to feel so loved by a person, even more odd when you love that person just as much

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will you please take my whimsical ass seriously