ephemcrals-blog

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fun, unique, original, fucked up au’s

you tried throwing yourself in front of my car for the vine but i was coming to a stop so it looked really pathetic

you were being chased by my dog and ran through my backyard and tried coming into my house but you slammed into the sliding screen door and im just trying to eat cereal what the fuck

i just saw you take the last good watermelon from my shopping cart what the fuck??? come back what the fuck hiding it under your shirt won’T STOP RUNNING AWAY FROM ME

i tried running you off the road but you brake checked me and luckily we werent going that fast but when u stopped my car very gently touched ur bumper and im gonna insist there’s damage to  my headlight bc ur cute and i want ur number

we met as 10 year olds on  a video game and were friends for a few years before we lost contact but u moved to my city during high school and we recognized eachother holy shit you’re really hot now

youre a complete stranger and i started yelling at u cuz ur music was too damn loud at 1 am and we carried on an aggressive conversation for a long time before i realized u were literally just regurgitating the front bottom’s song lyrics to me fuck you

someone i follow on tumblr posts a lot of stuff about their crush and i started to slowly realize it sounds like a person i’ve been encountering lately and i went thru ur tagged/me and holy shit we go to the same school

i thought i was shoving lil cute secret notes into my crushes locker but it was actually your locker oops. well ur  cuter so like

i saw u at the store and we barely know each other but u smiled and i got so distracted that i ran into a can display and they all fell on me and now i’m in the hospital and u brought me ~FLOWERS~

i was at starbucks sitting by the window minding my business when u started tapping on the glass and trying to communicate something through it to me but like ?? i cant read lips and it basically turns into a huge game of charades bc ur stupid ass is bad as communication and my stupid ass is bad at understanding communication

you were free running on low buildings and fell off of one and i mso sorry that your leg is probably broken but i cannot for the life of me stop laughing hahahahhHhahahahhAHHAGHHHHH

feel welcome to add to this list and tag me if u use any of these cuz i wanna see

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tyler posey + that hair and that smile

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muse a is a sports star at a big college and everyone knows his name and hes hella good looking and athletic but oh no his grades are slipping because (insert reason here) and if his grades dont get better then he can’t play football and if he can’t play football he’ll lose his only chance to go to college because otherwise there’s no way he can afford it so he gets set up with muse b who he’s never noticed but is apparently in one of his classes and she’s hella smart like hella smart but also really quiet and shy and cuTE and i want this plot bc imagine how cute it would be to have muse b blushing while trying to tutor muse a and muse a just smirking to himself or muse a purposely pretending not to understand something so muse b has to explain it again (and simultaneously gets frustrated at the fact that muse a is acting so dumb honestly)  and muse a trying to charm muse b into going to a frat party and muse b trying to figure out why muse a is even interested in her pls

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