ephemer4lpetrich0r

[ephemer4lpetrich0r]

when the fuck

[ephemer4lpetrich0r]

shes so beautiful im going to die

[ephemer4lpetrich0r]

Stares directly at you. 20 or 21.

21. …On a place of insecurity. Word Count: 1420

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　

‘We’re a family.’ That promise from her brother, so gentle and kind, flickered in her mind. ‘We’ll be together forever.’

…

Pyrrha believed so much in those words. Together… forever. Was she really worthy of such a thing? Of togetherness with anyone, forever? It sounded so foreign to her, but it wasn’t just him who’d pushed toward such an ending. Caelina, too, had stuck by her side, ever since she’d found her injured and alone, promising to help her. She’d held true, helping her find Patroklos, staying with her just like he did– a silent form of kindness, to the same beat as his. 

At first, such things scared her. She would never forget how many people had died after getting close to her. Everyone would- but… then she’d think back. She hadn’t died after being around her, had she..? She was gone, yes, but there was no sign of death. No, it hadn’t happened, so far. Patroklos, who’d so confidently made that promise to her after finally reuniting with her. Caelina, who quietly stuck by, through and through. They were still alive, still breathing. It had filled her with hope. She wasn’t alone, and maybe, just maybe, all of that pain and loss was finally over.

..But that didn’t last long. It never did. Their trio had turned to two, her family’s warmth now far out of reach and that hope of a better life shattered. Worst of all, it was a pain that stung more than any death– her brother's willful abandonment fresh on her mind.

Sorrowful, fiery eyes laid upon her parasitic limb, its presence where Pyrrha’s arm once was so foreign, frightening– wrong. It was all wrong. The sight of it… it’s no wonder Patroklos ran away, right..? Her eyes began to burn, tears forming in the corners as she continued to stare. That awful moment was playing on repeat, internally– as if she were breaking over and over again. She’d stopped Nightmare, yes, but… in turning malfested to do so, she’d lost her brother. He rejected her, abandoned her. Pyrrha didn’t want to be malfested, didn’t want to hurt anyone. And yet, here she was, that fate thrust upon her with no care for those naive wishes of hers.

‘..I’m a monster… a monster..! No wonder he’s gone, just look at you!’ Cried the agonizing thoughts that plagued her. ‘Is this really me..? Is this all I’ll ever be, forever..?!’

They looped in her mind and heart endlessly, like thorny vines wrapping around every inch of her it could reach. That loud voice that told her that she deserved to be alone… but she wasn’t, really. No: one remained, still. Pyrrha had fully expected Caelina to flee, bitter over Patroklos doing so and expecting the worst. Surely she’d follow suit, knowing that the woman was now malfested. And yet… that moment never came, the expectation still merely one of fiction, locked away.

‘..You know that won’t last, though. Nothing good ever lasts long with-’ 

The woman was snapped out of her downward spiral, eyes widening and body tensing when she felt a hand brush against her clawed one. It lingered for a moment, and Pyrrha shuddered at it– unexpected, but so gentle. Not a touch she was used to, but one whose owner she could link it to in an instant. Her gaze trailed over towards the source, and as she did, the culprit who was kneeling in the grass by her pulled her hand away. She hadn’t heard the other approach while in thought.

“..Sorry.” Caelina’s voice came out low, apology holding a tinge of sadness to it. She paused, hand hovering closeby. While her face was usually not the most expressive, it showed clear concern. Her body language was more uncertain than usual. “Should I.. not have..?” 

Pyrrha’s frown deepens at the hesitant question, and she swallows thickly. Caelina was so considerate… she wanted to reach over and take her hand back into her own. That brief moment– It was nice. Yet, she couldn’t admit how she desperately hungered for more of such kindness, especially following such a crushing, harsh rejection from her only family. The fear dragged out by such a thing drowned out any courage from her. So, she turned her head, looking away. Caelina watched as she pulled her arms close to herself, trying to keep herself away without outright getting up and leaving. Her brows furrowed, and before she could comment, Pyrrha spoke.

“Why..?”

Caelina’s eyes widened slightly, and she tilted her head, expression turning to one of confusion. She let Pyrrha continue.

“Why are you still doing this?” Pyrrha’s voice wavered, tone shaky. It was full of fear, and so, so much shame. “..Aren’t you disgusted..? Or… Or scared? Of this..?” Pyrrha’s human hand pulls away from her torso, gesturing to the twisting form of flesh and steel that called itself her arm. “..Of me..?–” A beat of silence, “–..Patroklos was.”

As she spoke, Caelina’s expression shifted from confusion, to worry, to a vague indignation, as though insulted at the insinuation made by the insecure woman. Brows furrowed, she shuffled, moving around Pyrrha so that she was knelt in front of her.

“I am not Patroklos.”

Pyrrha, eyes wide, looked up at the sternly spoken declaration. A few tears fell down her face as she blinked quickly, face flushing upon seeing the insulted look painted over the other’s face.

“I… I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean–��� “–Let me finish.”

Pyrrha stuttered to a stop, staring as Caelina reached out. Her hand hovered close to the sharp, monstrous claws clutched closely to the malfested’s chest.

“Please. If you will allow me.”

There was a moment of silence, one that felt like it lasted ages. Pyrrha averted her eyes briefly, blinking away more tears and reaching up with her gloved hand to wipe them away. Caelina sat patiently, until Pyrrha finally reached out to her, softly hiccuping. She took the appendage in her hand, expression softening as she went. With a soft sigh, masking the embarrassment hidden in her words, she continued.

“I am not afraid. Not of you. No– Never of you, because I… I believe in you.” She could feel her hand heat up as Pyrrha’s armored palm pulsated in her grasp. She was sure it would begin to burn eventually. However, there was no attempt made to shield the comparably weak human flesh from it using the abilities she had. Perhaps it was stupid of her, but seeing the fragility in Pyrrha’s face spurred her onward. “..And I’m certainly not afraid of this.” With a shaky breath, flustered beneath her brave façade, she squeezed Pyrrha’s hand and brought it closer to her, right up to her face.

The malfested watched in shock as the bold human pressed her lips against the flat side of her sharp, dangerous claws, where her knuckles once were. Pyrrha let out a soft gasp, hand frozen still, terrified that any movement would slice the other open.

“I care about you, you know.” Another uncertain breath was drawn, Pyrrha’s hand being twisted with ease by her, carefully raising upward until Caelina closed her eyes and placed another kiss right against one of the safer spots on her palm. Sure enough, it was like attempting to inhale a flame; but she refused to falter. “And a little malfestation isn’t going to scare me off, not like that jumpy child.” She held her hand there for a moment longer to accentuate the statement, holding back any sort of hisses or winces of discomfort. She didn’t want to scare her off, now– not when she was already so far into this.

When she opened her eyes once more and looked forward, Pyrrha’s face was a bright red, visible on her much paler skin. There would be no ‘Really’s, or ‘Are you sure’s. Caelina was particular in ensuring there was no room for speculation. Once she felt the point had been conveyed, she carefully pulled Pyrrha’s hand down away from her face, holding it in her own.

“..Have I gotten my point across..?”

“..I… Y-Yes.”

A small smile formed on Caelina’s lips.

“Good.” Silently, Pyrrha’s eyes trailed down to the other woman’s human hand held within her own, much larger one. She was in disbelief– she truly wasn’t scared..? She wouldn't leave..? It hadn't been directly said, but it was heavily implied. Past the surprise, her heart fluttered and swelled with warmth. A small smile formed on her lips, one in recognition that, perhaps, everything would be okay.

[ephemer4lpetrich0r]

oh im already rbing things to the wrong blog LOL

[ephemer4lpetrich0r]

i decided to make a reblog specific blog bc maybe then it'll give me the motivation to start actively reblogging stuff again like I used to lol

[ephemer4lpetrich0r]

do not let me win the lottery because let me tell you. i have been losing my MIND over this stupid fuckin soul/cali/bur pachislot trying to find the video files, or maybe an apk for the mobile version that somehow wasnt taken down after eos, or just high quality images and at this rate. bro gimme the machine itself. first thing i would buy is that damn machine. do NOT give me 1000 dollars its goin straight to that thing.

[ephemer4lpetrich0r]

taps chin. I don't think I've encountered a game like this before, so I'm gonna throw it out into the ether for others to play with.

[ reblog to have others gush about why they ship you and your f/o(s)! ]

be sure to practice good reblog karma, nobody likes to feel left out! u_u

[ephemer4lpetrich0r]

collect my yuri

im like slenderman if he was a himejoshi. and a selfshipper.

[ephemer4lpetrich0r]

im like slenderman if he was a himejoshi. and a selfshipper.

[ephemer4lpetrich0r]

I ALREADY READ YOUR YURI 5 GRILLION TIMES STOP MAKING ME TWEAK OVER THOSE WOMEN I CAN ONLY PACE AROUND MY ROOM CHANTING THAT THEYRE SO CANON FOR SO LONG BEFORE MY VOICE DIES

YEAH AND I LOVE U FOR THAT BUT EVERYONE ELSE HASNT SEEN IT YEEEEEEEEEEEEET :(

they must behold my totally canon selfship yuri or i will die plEASE GOD PLEASE BEJHOLD THE YURI /LH

[ephemer4lpetrich0r]

taps chin. I don't think I've encountered a game like this before, so I'm gonna throw it out into the ether for others to play with.

[ reblog to have others gush about why they ship you and your f/o(s)! ]

be sure to practice good reblog karma, nobody likes to feel left out! u_u

[ephemer4lpetrich0r]

taps chin. I don't think I've encountered a game like this before, so I'm gonna throw it out into the ether for others to play with.

[ reblog to have others gush about why they ship you and your f/o(s)! ]

be sure to practice good reblog karma, nobody likes to feel left out! u_u

[ephemer4lpetrich0r]

taps chin. I don't think I've encountered a game like this before, so I'm gonna throw it out into the ether for others to play with.

[ reblog to have others gush about why they ship you and your f/o(s)! ]

be sure to practice good reblog karma, nobody likes to feel left out! u_u

[ephemer4lpetrich0r]

okay new tag game. do you actually recommend people play/watch/read/listen to your favorite media?

[ephemer4lpetrich0r]

Stares directly at you. 20 or 21.

21. …On a place of insecurity. Word Count: 1420

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　

‘We’re a family.’ That promise from her brother, so gentle and kind, flickered in her mind. ‘We’ll be together forever.’

…

Pyrrha believed so much in those words. Together… forever. Was she really worthy of such a thing? Of togetherness with anyone, forever? It sounded so foreign to her, but it wasn’t just him who’d pushed toward such an ending. Caelina, too, had stuck by her side, ever since she’d found her injured and alone, promising to help her. She’d held true, helping her find Patroklos, staying with her just like he did– a silent form of kindness, to the same beat as his. 

At first, such things scared her. She would never forget how many people had died after getting close to her. Everyone would- but… then she’d think back. She hadn’t died after being around her, had she..? She was gone, yes, but there was no sign of death. No, it hadn’t happened, so far. Patroklos, who’d so confidently made that promise to her after finally reuniting with her. Caelina, who quietly stuck by, through and through. They were still alive, still breathing. It had filled her with hope. She wasn’t alone, and maybe, just maybe, all of that pain and loss was finally over.

..But that didn’t last long. It never did. Their trio had turned to two, her family’s warmth now far out of reach and that hope of a better life shattered. Worst of all, it was a pain that stung more than any death– her brother's willful abandonment fresh on her mind.

Sorrowful, fiery eyes laid upon her parasitic limb, its presence where Pyrrha’s arm once was so foreign, frightening– wrong. It was all wrong. The sight of it… it’s no wonder Patroklos ran away, right..? Her eyes began to burn, tears forming in the corners as she continued to stare. That awful moment was playing on repeat, internally– as if she were breaking over and over again. She’d stopped Nightmare, yes, but… in turning malfested to do so, she’d lost her brother. He rejected her, abandoned her. Pyrrha didn’t want to be malfested, didn’t want to hurt anyone. And yet, here she was, that fate thrust upon her with no care for those naive wishes of hers.

‘..I’m a monster… a monster..! No wonder he’s gone, just look at you!’ Cried the agonizing thoughts that plagued her. ‘Is this really me..? Is this all I’ll ever be, forever..?!’

They looped in her mind and heart endlessly, like thorny vines wrapping around every inch of her it could reach. That loud voice that told her that she deserved to be alone… but she wasn’t, really. No: one remained, still. Pyrrha had fully expected Caelina to flee, bitter over Patroklos doing so and expecting the worst. Surely she’d follow suit, knowing that the woman was now malfested. And yet… that moment never came, the expectation still merely one of fiction, locked away.

‘..You know that won’t last, though. Nothing good ever lasts long with-’ 

The woman was snapped out of her downward spiral, eyes widening and body tensing when she felt a hand brush against her clawed one. It lingered for a moment, and Pyrrha shuddered at it– unexpected, but so gentle. Not a touch she was used to, but one whose owner she could link it to in an instant. Her gaze trailed over towards the source, and as she did, the culprit who was kneeling in the grass by her pulled her hand away. She hadn’t heard the other approach while in thought.

“..Sorry.” Caelina’s voice came out low, apology holding a tinge of sadness to it. She paused, hand hovering closeby. While her face was usually not the most expressive, it showed clear concern. Her body language was more uncertain than usual. “Should I.. not have..?” 

Pyrrha’s frown deepens at the hesitant question, and she swallows thickly. Caelina was so considerate… she wanted to reach over and take her hand back into her own. That brief moment– It was nice. Yet, she couldn’t admit how she desperately hungered for more of such kindness, especially following such a crushing, harsh rejection from her only family. The fear dragged out by such a thing drowned out any courage from her. So, she turned her head, looking away. Caelina watched as she pulled her arms close to herself, trying to keep herself away without outright getting up and leaving. Her brows furrowed, and before she could comment, Pyrrha spoke.

“Why..?”

Caelina’s eyes widened slightly, and she tilted her head, expression turning to one of confusion. She let Pyrrha continue.

“Why are you still doing this?” Pyrrha’s voice wavered, tone shaky. It was full of fear, and so, so much shame. “..Aren’t you disgusted..? Or… Or scared? Of this..?” Pyrrha’s human hand pulls away from her torso, gesturing to the twisting form of flesh and steel that called itself her arm. “..Of me..?–” A beat of silence, “–..Patroklos was.”

As she spoke, Caelina’s expression shifted from confusion, to worry, to a vague indignation, as though insulted at the insinuation made by the insecure woman. Brows furrowed, she shuffled, moving around Pyrrha so that she was knelt in front of her.

“I am not Patroklos.”

Pyrrha, eyes wide, looked up at the sternly spoken declaration. A few tears fell down her face as she blinked quickly, face flushing upon seeing the insulted look painted over the other’s face.

“I… I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean–” “–Let me finish.”

Pyrrha stuttered to a stop, staring as Caelina reached out. Her hand hovered close to the sharp, monstrous claws clutched closely to the malfested’s chest.

“Please. If you will allow me.”

There was a moment of silence, one that felt like it lasted ages. Pyrrha averted her eyes briefly, blinking away more tears and reaching up with her gloved hand to wipe them away. Caelina sat patiently, until Pyrrha finally reached out to her, softly hiccuping. She took the appendage in her hand, expression softening as she went. With a soft sigh, masking the embarrassment hidden in her words, she continued.

“I am not afraid. Not of you. No– Never of you, because I… I believe in you.” She could feel her hand heat up as Pyrrha’s armored palm pulsated in her grasp. She was sure it would begin to burn eventually. However, there was no attempt made to shield the comparably weak human flesh from it using the abilities she had. Perhaps it was stupid of her, but seeing the fragility in Pyrrha’s face spurred her onward. “..And I’m certainly not afraid of this.” With a shaky breath, flustered beneath her brave façade, she squeezed Pyrrha’s hand and brought it closer to her, right up to her face.

The malfested watched in shock as the bold human pressed her lips against the flat side of her sharp, dangerous claws, where her knuckles once were. Pyrrha let out a soft gasp, hand frozen still, terrified that any movement would slice the other open.

“I care about you, you know.” Another uncertain breath was drawn, Pyrrha’s hand being twisted with ease by her, carefully raising upward until Caelina closed her eyes and placed another kiss right against one of the safer spots on her palm. Sure enough, it was like attempting to inhale a flame; but she refused to falter. “And a little malfestation isn’t going to scare me off, not like that jumpy child.” She held her hand there for a moment longer to accentuate the statement, holding back any sort of hisses or winces of discomfort. She didn’t want to scare her off, now– not when she was already so far into this.

When she opened her eyes once more and looked forward, Pyrrha’s face was a bright red, visible on her much paler skin. There would be no ‘Really’s, or ‘Are you sure’s. Caelina was particular in ensuring there was no room for speculation. Once she felt the point had been conveyed, she carefully pulled Pyrrha’s hand down away from her face, holding it in her own.

“..Have I gotten my point across..?”

“..I… Y-Yes.”

A small smile formed on Caelina’s lips.

“Good.” Silently, Pyrrha’s eyes trailed down to the other woman’s human hand held within her own, much larger one. She was in disbelief– she truly wasn’t scared..? She wouldn't leave..? It hadn't been directly said, but it was heavily implied. Past the surprise, her heart fluttered and swelled with warmth. A small smile formed on her lips, one in recognition that, perhaps, everything would be okay.

[ephemer4lpetrich0r]

Send me a Ship and a Number and I will Write a Kiss

…good morning.

…goodnight.

…goodbye.

…where it hurts.

…where it doesn’t hurt.

…on a falling tear.

…to shut them up.

…in secrecy.

…in public.

…desperately.

…in joy.

…in grief.

…discreetly.

…casually.

…passionately.

…lazily.

…to distract.

…as encouragement.

…for luck.

…on a scar.

…on a place of insecurity.

…in a rush of adrenaline.

…in relief.

…in danger.

…as a ‘yes’.

…as an apology.

…as a suggestion.

…as a lie.

…as a promise.

…as comfort.

…after a small rejection.

…to wake up.

…forcefully.

…to pretend.

…to gain something.

…to give up control.

…without a motive.

…because they’re running out of time.

…because time’s run out.

…because the world is ending.

…because the world is saved.

…out of pride.

…out of greed.

…out of lust.

…out of anger.

…out of envy or jealousy.

…out of spite.

…out of habit.

…out of necessity.

…out of love.

[ephemer4lpetrich0r]

Take this as a free pass to answer any missing questions from the meta self ship questions! <3

YAYYYY THANKS ANON THAT'S TOTALLY NOT ME!

2. how old were you when you discovered your f/o’s content?

4 when I discovered the series in general, 11 when I got 5!

9. if your f/o has been represented in more than one way (i.e. in a book AND a movie, in a movie and then recasted for a reboot later, etc.), which version of them is your favorite?

As mentioned here, the only other iterations that fit this that Pyrrha has are in the books Soul/cali/bur: Soul in the Blade, of which I do not own nor can I read due to not knowing Japanese, and Queen's Blade/Queen's Gate, which is... well. An ecchi visual combat series. Not exactly anything to change as far as I know, besides throwing her into that anime girl art style and teetering on the line of fully inappropriate or not xd. So, by default, I'm sticking to her original.

12. did you know what self shipping was when you first discovered your f/o’s source content?

Nope! I just knew I reeeeeally loved her, wanted to hold her hand and play knight for her- whatever it was 11 year old me was doing haha. Glad I found out at some point!

13. do you have a favorite line your f/o has ever said?

Honestly, it's really hard to pick a line considering I just love Pyrrha's voice so much. [Side-note that I mainly base stuff off the Japanese voices as opposed to the English VAs, (sorry mrs. bailey)] So rather than pick one, I'm gonna share a video I slapped together of multiple clips where I particularly liked her VA's delivery!

There'a also one voiceline from the Pachislot game specifically that comes to mind! When she tells Ti/ra that she's not her puppet/tool to use, and fights back against her, it just makes me really happy for her!!!! Like, she doesn't ever have the chance to really fight back against Ti/ra in the main game, so even if that is non-canon and if the moment is so quick and brief, seeing her stand up for herself makes me SOOO happy!! It feels super important for her to have that sort of closure in finally basically saying, 'yes, i'm not a tool, i'm not yours to use and never will be again!', yk?? I can't share it because only one video is allowed per post, but if it lets me then I'll reblog with the audio clip!

15. do you own any merchandise from your f/o’s source content? what is it?

OOOOOH I DO, I IN FACT DO!! I have 3 books (that being The Art of Soul/Cali/bur V (Including the Collector's Edition Soundtrack and a disk of 'The Making of Soul/Cali/bur V', New Leg/ends of Pro/ject So/ul, and クイーンズゲイト 運命に翻弄される娘 ピュラ (Unmei ni Honrou sareru Musume Pyura / Daughter at the Mercy of Fate Pyrrha) [<- Only non-canon one.].

I also have the Queen's Blade/Queen's Gate collaboration figure as you saw in that first image (any panty shots on the box art are censored lol).

And, the most non-official as it gets 'merch', my old phonecase showing Valentine's art of her from Lo/st Swo/rds. lol

I plan on more stuff in the future! I wanna get the Japanese version of New Leg/ends of Pro/ject So/ul so I have both versions of it, and if I ever find Soul in the Blade Vol. 2 for sale I will try to get it, just so I have another book with Pyrrha on the cover LOL- and while it's gonna end up being really expensive, I also want to look into getting custom figure commissions made of her so I have more than just the one figure! A custom plushie (or a few) also sound good to go for, so I'm definitely gonna try someday!