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[ephemera123]

From may 2021

The Great Weavings of Temdril

Dandelion fluff floats through air—as though in an underwater world—on the cusp of summer—dissolving the remnants of freezing dampth within my bones—these fresh green leaves blossoming in mind

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1/17/22

Even a Momentary Glimpse

Tells me to keep going in my dream,

to rest mind—be natural

His words appear like flashes of light that break me open.

His dharmakaya mind—

unwavering—

How in a few words—

reveals the truth—

All pervasive.

Reminding me again. And again. And again.

[ephemera123]

As We Left America,

headed into sky,

time dissolved,

and then I was touching leper hands,

eating the salt of his body.

there was the ruined face of the tall lady, butter lamps burning, blowing blood, billions of fake flowers.

[ephemera123]

From 2009?

Suddenly The Cuckoo

Chatral Rinpoche’s coconut

the rigor mortis cat in the gutter

the barefoot street boys huffing glue? from plastic bags—

crazed wobbling on the sidewalk

the small goats on the roof

they spooned mindrup into our hands—

and I unfold.

[ephemera123]

From 2015? 2016?

with my mouth, I say,

“Yes, yes, I know this is dream.”

But my mind does not truly realize.

I am more like a parrot,

mouthing words it doesn’t understand.

With my mouth,

I say I care about sentient beings—

say I want to lead them all to enlightenment.

But when I truly look at my mind,

I only care about myself,

my own happiness.

Again and again,

again and again,

I believe in words!

Or lack thereof!

I believe in this world!

I believe in you!

I believe in me!

And so I am lost!

Ineffable—this star…

Samsara’s illusion swirls me up —

spins me around.

And around.

And around.

[ephemera123]

1/15/22

he was tossing a large silver coin high into the air, in glee—it glistened in the sun—catching it into his hand checking for heads or tails. tells me to walk towards the stars, towards the sun. a tsunami of clouds upon the still pool of mind. said, “oh, do you want me to say everything’s okay in samsara? That everything’s flowers and rainbows and everything moving and shaking? You like me to say that?” “No!” I cried. And he laughed. Palm fronds click together in the breeze. Water birds and turtles. In a gray bardo of circling, the turbulence rocking seasick feeling. And his teachings, my anchor. Thinking of others—the key. And drying her hair as she sat in the bed.

[ephemera123]

the cold beauty awareness

dogs and deer—

and my footsteps ‘round the stupa.

the stars, the sky, the moon, the clouds—

the g—pervading everything.

[ephemera123]

1/15/22

Rubbing Rose Geranium Leaves

between fingers

here,

at my desk—

in the candlelight—

the rain down the panes,

succulents wildly growing

the wind and water

pummeling trees,

electrical wires—

this storm

bearing down

like wild namthok

Upon the stillness of mind.

[ephemera123]

10/25/18

Together among palm,

Joshua trees—

under a clear blue sky…

The dry desert,

a sparkling turquoise pool full of birds.

Sadness and anger drain away—

peace, trust,

contentment and happiness arise.

From the anguished, terrified bardo of the plane

to the peaceful bardo of the plane

From fear,

to trust.

From the ego asserting it’s will and namthok

about every tiny thing,

To acquiescing to his wishes.

From sadness

to joy

Suffering,

to peace.

[ephemera123]

Ocean and alone.

Ferry and wind-

a body degrades.

Arriving after seven to the smells of other people’s cooking.

From a still mind, still water. And a stink like sewage by stop n shop at the wharf—cigarette butts and toilet paper by my feet in the sand—like a litter of negative thoughts.

[ephemera123]

Told me,

“Zoipa is your mind medicine.”

So I take her to the beach,

afternoons.

Let her buzz around me—

magen.

This, my offering…

And there is wind pummeling trees, electrical wires.

The problem is mind.

[ephemera123]

kt.daniels

[ephemera123]

Like a Milkweed Pod

for a heart and mind to crack open

mountain laurel beginning to bloom—

like the flowers I feel sprouting inside me—

the bird calls,

sun beating down.

and the purple asters, the clover. dry grass rustles.

mundane moments of joy, contentment.

the pond’s water,

ripples upon the shore.

mind manifests.

[ephemera123]

For the First Time

marigolds and tomatoes are not running forth-

not bursting from soil tended with love,

fervor,

faith…

But the corn towers,

peaches give way to apples…

the ocean back and forthing.

And minds rest beside the sea.

1/14/22

[ephemera123]

1/14/22

I Would Like My Mind to Grow Like a Vine, Smell of Sun

It was the first time that year, muffled sounds,

soft shir of snow coming down--the white world.

Squirrels hopped between trees-tops to tops.

fog, rising off fields of white-

and in the forest,

a tinkling sound-melting ice dripping off pine, juniper…

Breathing cold fresh morning air.

Hoar frost-tremulous and gloaming.

Then, and always- metakpa…

until violet,

creeping thyme…

Dismantling one life to sift into another.

Three small pears in a dish,

roots snaking round and round and round.

[ephemera123]

1/14/22

The Lodestar

gull tracks in the sand,

mind clouds,

sea fog….

there,

but not there—

like how I don’t notice the moment rain,

turns to snow

all the unspoken words showing me the essence-less nature of words—

to trust only mind

[ephemera123]

And How is the Mandala of Your Body?

Snow blowing about, a sound of waves. How in January, at the airport, he said, “No namthok. just go straight.” But how sometimes, nothing connects—ribbons of words twisting again and again. Anxiety like a catch in my chest, like a stuck zipper, like a snagged nail, on Lucky Air. He reflects mind...