equilateralbill

[equilateralbill]

I assure you: somebody, somewhere, is on the exact same wavelength as you are.

[equilateralbill]

so so considering getting the collectors edition tbob… grabby hands

[equilateralbill]

[equilateralbill]

Another thing fandom needs to start doing more of is projecting on tops.

There are delicious amounts of psychological distress you can inflict on that guy once you get into his head. The brainworms of forcing agency and initiative on someone who genuinely is Not Fucking Ready For It are exquisite.

[equilateralbill]

Hi, I hope this is okay to ask-- I was hoping to hear your opinion/interpretation! Do you think Bill could have a diagnosable personality disorder? Specifically NPD? In some of his interactions I've noticed he shields his inecurities by covering it with ego or pride (or sometimes lashing out). I'm not too knowledgeable, so I just wanted to hear your take. Thank you!! :))

DISCLAIMER: i need everybody reading this post to not be weird about narcissism for 5 minutes, and if you believe "narcissistic abuse" is a real thing I'm going to politely ask you to leave the post, it's not for you.

I'm leery about armchair diagnosing villains with already-vilified personality disorders, and it's hard to get a villain more "surely he can be diagnosed with something" than Bill Cipher and hard to get a personality disorder more vilified than narcissism. So this isn't going to be something I discuss often, because some of you out there reading this are lovely folks but some of you I don't trust.

But yeah, I think you can make a strong case for NPD.

Of course it's really easy to find evidence of the outward negative traits associated with NPD (superficial charm, manipulativeness, entitlement, etc) but the clincher is gonna be whether he has the underlying traits that cause the outward ones in the first place.

And we don't see direct evidence of a fragile self-esteem underneath Bill's outward grandiosity, but there's hints that it's there—particularly, I think, in his self-presentation, how he'll lie about himself or otherwise try to make himself look better—more powerful, more knowledgable, more authoritative than he actually is—often seemingly just to try to impress the other party. We see that over & over in TBOB, but it's present before then too—for instance, in the reddit AMA he's called out for presenting himself as godly when he clearly isn't all-powerful and he admits he "might've overstuffed his resume"—"dress for the job you want"—like he wants people to see him as better & more accomplished than he actually is. He spends almost every scene he's in trying to impress somebody.

And then in TBOB he spends a lot of time dancing right up to, and then around, admitting to things that one might imagine he might find shameful. For instance, not only does he swerve around admitting that he's in Theraprism until his cover's blown, he also pretends that he's somewhere super cool and enviable. When we do find out where he is, suddenly it's everyone else's fault he's there and he doesn't need anybody that won't help him and he's too good for this place. Someone as proud of his power as Bill is would likely feel ashamed at being locked into such a powerless position, especially one that carries an implication of "there's something wrong with your mind (not in a cool edgy quirky way, just in a sad way that makes us want to help you)"—but it's like, he refuses to turn and face that shame. He chooses not to look at it.

If his massive ego was secure and stable, he wouldn't be afraid to face his failures and flaws.

I'm not interested in writing an essay psychoanalyzing everything we know about Bill so I'm just using those as a couple examples of how he may be using grandiosity to shelter an inwardly fragile sense of self-esteem, and I'm gonna stop there.

It's something that I personally headcanon as likely, and I tend to use NPD as a loose map when I write him to determine what's going on inside Bill's head in various situations (what he's thinking when he's trying to pump himself up and tear someone else down, when he's manipulating people, when he's in denial about something, etc), what's going on underneath the surface thoughts, and what must've happened in his history to cause him to develop this way.

A LOOSE map because I'm never gonna bring it up directly in fic or give him any kind of diagnosis. Because, again, I don't trust all of y'all; and because my strongest guide to his personality is "what would BILL CIPHER do" rather than "what would some generic person with NPD do," and if the two conflict then "write him like Bill Cipher" obviously wins out; and because, while it is possible to treat symptoms of NPD, I don't know how to do that, I'm just trying to write a fic that convincingly portrays helping Bill improve his mental health and I make no claims as to whether anything that happens to him would be helpful to a real person with real NPD. It probably wouldn't. Bill's a cartoon character. I get to choose which conversations give him epiphanies.

On a similar note I think you can also make a case for Ford possibly having NPD—that dual "he's the most brilliant, he has the most potential, he's a genius who will do genius things" & "if he doesn't succeed then he's worthless, he must pursue the highest ambitions to prove his worth, nothing's scarier than failing to live up to his potential"—although more on the vulnerable end of the spectrum. And I'm a strong "at his core Ford is (and was always) a good person" believer so I don't wanna see anyone misusing that headcanon to vilify him, all right? All right. we're being nice to Ford and we're being nice to NPD.

But that's also something I keep in mind when writing him & Bill together, and the way they can get into "i'm gonna try to impress this guy because he impresses me" "oh shit this admirable guy is admiring me" feedback loops

[equilateralbill]

Some trad art i thinkk i forgot to post

[equilateralbill]

my final illustration for @billfordzine! a 3-color risograph print. a limited number of prints are available in my shop.

[equilateralbill]

here you go you filthy animals

[equilateralbill]

thinking about ford fucking bill’s canon pussy with a glass stirring rod. it could work couldn’t it

[equilateralbill]

EVERYONE EVERYONE!!! BREAKING NEWS!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHH (I’m so normal about this…!!!!)

[equilateralbill]

Y'all wanna think about how Ford and Fiddleford were living in Gravity Falls together during the Golden Age of Arcade Video Games?

Couple nerds coming into town with stacks of quarters?

How long do you think their names were on highscore screens all over the arcade? Maybe there's just that one machine left with the initials SIX and maybe another FHM that just can't be beat, but no one remembers who they belong to anymore?

[equilateralbill]

This is exciting for everyone (don’t ask Ford how he feels about it) and we are all excited to get Ford to the finale (again, do not ask Ford, he might throw something at you)

GET FORD TO THE FINALE

Bonus!

Bonus Bonus!

[equilateralbill]

Prev

I'm honestly embarrassed by the amount of effort I'm putting into this. But in my opinion, we're down to the ultimate battle, and I gotta pull out the big guns. (Kinda like ford here)

A lot of young fords ramblings were inspired by stuff people said in discord. I paraphrased a lot of it from @curiouscatastrophe

So far, Ford has been in the dark as to who the Father would be. He's going to confront bill in the next one.

Cipher says: VOTE FORD - YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT.

[equilateralbill]

Crazy the only time we see Bill actually partying is on karaoke night with Ford. 

[equilateralbill]

work’s been kicking my ass but hey presto! doodles of my favorite old man be upon ye

[equilateralbill]

holding down an adorable lab rat sub, shushing them and telling them not to be scared, that their cooperation is doing wonderful things for my research, and giving them a mystery injection. the injection is just saline, but i get to watch them wide eyed and panicked while they wait for whatever i just gave them to “kick in” knowing that a reaction isn’t actually coming.

[equilateralbill]

First post! They've been in my thoughts...