ethanhateshimself - Tumblr blog

[ethanhateshimself]

My head's empty because of you

She’s happy to let me die.

Six word stories! Can you write a six word story about abuse? The challenge is to imply a beginning, middle, end in only 6 words. That’s really hard so even if you can’t do all that, totally still participate!

[ethanhateshimself]

I was cleaning my room once and I wasn't doing it fast enough so my dad picked up this fancy chest-like box I'd gotten from my mom at me, bruising me, spilling(and breaking) the (fragile) stuff inside and told me to clean it up. I cut my hands on the glass and he told me to stop ruining the carpet

Flashback #1

That time my “mom” dragged me out of the car and into the house by my hair and shoved my head under the faucet because she didn’t like the way my hairspray smelled.

*Feel free to share a flashback of your own.*

[ethanhateshimself]

I haven't been allowed to feel an emotion in my house for a year but it doesn't really bother me anymore so idk what to say

Are you safe in your home?

Just yes or no is fine. You can say more if you want.

[ethanhateshimself]

I'm not particularly woke. I mean, I'm 15 and from a really sheltered town. I just think that

Racism, transphobia, and homophobia are bad

Good people deserve rights

The church should be separate from the state.

[ethanhateshimself]

It's none of my business if there's a god or not, and frankly I'm not entirely convinced that I care, but Chance the Rapper's "Coloring Book" makes me feel calm.

[ethanhateshimself]

Moving was supposed to give me a new start, whether I wanted to or not. Give me the times I could've been happy, but instead bent and stuffed myself into a lesbian relationship so I wouldn't be disowned. Bring back the peace I could've had when I was supposed to be Ethan, but instead I was just "overdoing it as a baby butch."

Give me that year back

I’ll give non-dysphorics/tucutes respect when they give me the year of my life I lost when I thought I was a pansexual gayromantic genderfluid person.

Give me that year where I basically tourtured myself into presenting as a female because I saw online that being transgender was a choice and a fun thing to do.

Give me that year where I thought that just because I had some feminine hobbies like knitting and doll customising, that I couldn’t be a transgender man. Where I was so strongly in denial that I believed it all.

Give me that year back where I didn’t want to show any masculine or feminine features because that would mean I was that gender.

Give me that year where I thought that because I was something other that cis, I wasn’t allowed to talk about my own reproductive health because that was transphobic of anyone to do, even myself. I have PCOS and I couldn’t talk about it.

Give me back that year because I was lead to believe that I just wasn’t performing femininity correctly and that sex would fix it. After all, transgender people chose to be transgender and I didn’t want to be transgender so it was obviously my fault.

And while I’m on the topic give my friends back the respect they once had for trans people. I am terrified beyond words to come out to my friends, not because ‘trans people are disgusting’ but because ‘oh don’t worry I went through that phase’ and ‘oh you’re one of THOSE people? What are you like stargender? Should I call you starself?’

Because so many people were dragged into this mindset and now that they’re out of it, all respect for transgender people is gone, because they don’t know the difference between dysphoric and not or tucute and transmed.

Im so suck of it. Just give me back that year of my life I wasted.