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etherealsturns · 20 days ago

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lazy mornings

Warnings — none

a/n — I hate this so no taglist but this is for @sturnsblogs

nicks soft snores were all that came from the twos shared bedroom, zeek was fast asleep surprisingly in his own bed tonight, which gave the couple a long night and a peaceful morning.

solen had been awake for a while now, his loving gaze focused on nicks sleeping face. his puffy cheeks, slight swollen lips from their activates last night, and some drool dribbling down his chin landing on his pillow - in solens eyes he looked perfect.

solen let out a slight sigh his hands hesitantly going to run through nicks messy locks causing the brunette to shift, a scowl forming on his face. "m' not getting up." nick grumbled out making solen smile and let out a soft quiet chuckle.

"im not waking you up babe." solen murmured out, shifting closer to his husband and wrapping his arms around nicks waist. "m' just admiring, am i not aloud to admire my beautiful husband?" he said teasingly.

nick peeled one of his eyes open, an annoyed yet loving smile appearing on his lips before he smushed his cheek against solens shoulder.

“I guess that’s acceptable.” He whispered, trailing his hand up solens waist his touch gentle and loving. “I’m glad I get to wake up and see you.” Solen said quietly, almost shakily.

“Ew don’t cry you big baby.” Nick mumbled with a smile, pulling his face out from where he was tucked under solens chin to meet his gaze.

Solen let out a small chuckle rolling his eyes before petting the top of nicks head. “m’ just so in love with you.” He breathed out, his soft eyes flickering across nicks face.

Nick grinned—it showed nothing but love and affection before he pressed a tiny kiss to the corner of solens mouth. “And I’m so much more in love with you.” Nick mumbled, his fingers now tangling into solens hair.

“Impossible, you know how obsessed I’ve been with you since like, forever?” Solen teased, a loving chuckle erupting from both the men.

just as nick was about to say something else the door creaked open a little, both their heads turning and being greeted with the most adorable sight.

Zeak was stood, his little hand gripping the doorknob his other one holding his bear and his brown hair all messy and tousled.

“Hey bud.” Nick said quietly as he sat up, the small boy made his way towards his dad’s arms sleepily and happily letting Nick lift him onto the bed.

Zeak comfortably made himself comfortable between the two men, his eyes fluttering shut the moment solens arms wrapped around his little body.

“Still sleepy?” Nick murmured, his big hand rubbing the boys back as he laid back down pulling the comforter over the three of them.

Zeak nodded, peeling his right eye open before frowning. “Missed daddy last night.” He mumbled, his scratch little voice still sleepy.

Nick cooed softly before snuggling closer to the two. “Well we’re here now okay?” Nick murmured kissing the top of the small boys head.

“Let’s have a lazy day how’s that sound.” Solen let out a hum of agreement.

“Lazy day sounds great babe.”

#jaydens reblogs 🕸️. *. ⋆#my baby 🐥

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etherealsturns · 21 days ago

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sobbing jax why did you do this

warnings — heavy heavy angst, crying, parties, nostalgia, maybe brief mentions of smut? Broken heart, not a happy ending.

a/n — god someone get the fucking tissues, low-key worked on this for a week.

"Unrequited love."

Summary — it started years ago when they were just kids, a silly little childhood crush on his best friend. clearly his feelings ran deeper than just a silly little crush, because here he is twenty-one years old and crying over a man like he's in middle school.

Christian, god he was just perfect in nicks eyes. his stupid blonde hair, those beautiful green eyes that he could just stare at for hours.

there was just one problem, well two problems. Christians not gay, and they're best friends - childhood best friends at that.

at first the crush was small. the boys were fourteen - sophomores in high school, nick had also just been coming to terms with his sexuality.

yet as the years went on the crush grew bigger, he truly loved Christian - no he was in love with Christian.

present day -

the triplets were all lounging in their living room, it had been a crazy week filimg videos, nick editing, they all just needed a breather.

"bro i am so fucking tired." Chris mumbled out running his hands down his face. "I second that." nicks tired voice murmured from where he was burried under a pile of blankets, comfortably sprawled out across the couch.

all the boys' heads turned when their front door opened, Christian made his way inside - he had been staying at the triplets for about three days by now, visiting from Boston.

Christian let out a long sigh as he sat down between Chris and matt his gaze flickering to nick before giving him a small grin. nick smiled back softly his cheeks turning a slight shade of pink before he looked away.

matt let out a small sigh before sitting up straighter. "im goin' to bed." he grumbled out before standing and shuffling down the hallway. chris let out a small hum before standing up "m' sleepin' in his bed tonight." he muttered as he made his way behind matt.

Christian leaned back against the couch letting his head tip back before looking at nick. "y' remember that one time we built a fort and slept in it for almost a whole week?" he questioned, an almost nostalgic smile appearing on both the boys faces.

nick nodded and sat up, the blankets piling around his waist. "yes oh my gosh and chris knocked it down because he was running away from matt," nick said between soft chuckles. "god we were so sad." he continued.

"yes i was so upset i called my mom crying and made her pick me up early." Christian added on letting out a small chuckle.

they fell into a comfortable silence for a while, nick scrolling on his phone and Christian typing away on his own before Christian spoke up interrupting the silence. "do you remember that maya girl i talked to a while ago?"

nicks eyes flickered up from his phone, a flicker of confusion crossing his features before he nodded. "yeah why?" he mumbled, chrstian let out a hum before grinning widely. "turns out she moved out here a while ago and she wants to meet up at some party," christian started not noticing nicks face drop. "i thought maybe it would be nice if we all went out before i left yknow?"

nick let out a hum, shrinking back into the couch before shrugging. His face showing a distant look before speaking up. “If Chris and Matt want too I’m down.” He muttered

Christian nodded and let out a small sigh before typing away on his phone again. “m’ goin’ to bed.” Nick mumbled as he shuffled towards the stairs.

Christian nodded not sparing a glance up from his phone, a big annoying smile plastered on his lips. “Night.” He muttered.

Nick let out a small sigh before making his way upstairs mumbling a quiet “goodnight.”

—

Nick knows he should be used to this by now.

Yet every single time this happens he can’t help but stay up all night wishing, just wishing he were a girl.

He always had the thought that if he were a girl Christian would want him, they’d be happy. Nick would be with the man he was in love with and Christian would want Nick as much as Nick wanted him.

Yet he’s not a girl, he never will be. He’ll never have the boy he’s been in love with since he was a kid, he’ll never have the chance to live the life he wants and it makes him absolutely sick.

He shifted again, for the millionth time. The blankets stirring around him as he wrestled with his thoughts.

He was never good enough, he never will be.

—

Nicks ears were ringing, the party was going on around him yet all he could focus on was Christian. His arm wrapped tightly around mayas shoulders as he talked to Chris and Matt, that stupid smile that nick loves and resents so much.

Nick shifts from one foot to the other, his eyes stinging. It’s like this time hurt than any other. Like he was coming to the harsh truth that it’s never gonna be them.

He always wished they’d be endgame.

before nick could get lost any further in his thoughts he watched Christian whisper something to maya making them both laugh before sneaking away from the crowd.

Nick let out a shaky exhale his fingers flexing around his cup before he slumped against the wall, letting a few tears fall from his eyes. His bottom lip wobbled as he quickly wiped his cheeks with the back of his hand.

Before nick could even let out any more tears he felt a warm hand on his shoulder, he looked up to meet Matt’s concerned gaze. Before Nick could even say a word Matt was pulling him in tightly cradling him in a warm embrace.

Nick let out a shaky muffled cry into his brothers shoulder, his hands tightly gripping onto Matt’s hoodie.

Matt shushed him gently before starting to lead the two of them outside. “I know, I know it hurts bud.” Matt whispered once the two were out the door.

once the two of them made it to a quiet safe spot on the side of the house nicks sobs grew a little louder, muffled by Matt’s shoulder.

Matt ran a comforting hand through his brothers hair, his own chest aching.

Matt was the only one who knew about this, he’d seen it first hand. He noticed he always noticed. The way Nick looked at Christian, how Nick always seemed to light up when Christian was even mentioned. He knew just how bad it hurt for him.

“I need you to breathe nick.” Matt whispered, his forehead pressing into the top of nicks head rubbing his back soothingly. “In and out, go to your calm place don’t think about him.”

—

By the time Nick had calmed down they were sat, backs pressed against the house and Matt’s hand resting comfortingly on nicks knee.

“I just, I don’t get it Matt.” Nick mumbled out weakly, his vision blurring again. “Why am I like this I don’t know why I love him so much.” He continued, his bottom lip wobbling and his voice shaky.

“Because you just do nick.” Matt breathes out. “It’s hard, so hard I know it is.” Matt mumbled, his own voice wobbling. “I hate seeing you like this, I know you love him but Nick please for the sake of me you need to try to move on.”

Nicks head tipped back before biting down on his lip. “I have tried Matt I try so hard.” He cried out. Matt immediately pulled Nick into his arms rubbing his back soothingly.

“I know, shhh I know you do.”

Later that night —

Once they all got back home everyone went their separate ways, except for Nick and Christian.

nick let out a small sigh as he leaned back against his headboard, Christian was sat at the edge of nicks bed his gaze flickering across all the stuff on the wall.

“Christian.” Nick started, his voice hesitant. Christian’s gaze flickered to him shifting to fully face Nick. “Yeah?” He muttered out, tilting his head and giving Nick a dopey grin.

Nick smiled before looking down at his lap. “You know the other day when you brought up the fort incident?” Nick said quietly his eyes meeting Christian’s as the blonde boy nodded. “Well I just uhm, I want to tell you something that I’ve wanted to for a long time.” Nick muttered.

Christian let out a curious hum, sitting up a little straighter and muttering a quiet “yeah?”

“The night we made that fort, I think it was the first time I really.” Nick cut himself off letting out a shaky exhale before hesitantly continuing. “I think it’s the first time I realized I— it’s the first time I realized that I love you.”

Christian let out a small laugh before tilting his head. “Well I love you too Nick.” Christian said softly. “No.” Nick muttered, his eyes meeting Christian’s green ones. “I’m..I’m in love with you.”

Christian stopped laughing, his eyebrows furrowing before looking down at his lap. “Like, you like me?” Christian muttered in a confused tone.

Nick nodded slowly, his eyes flickering up to see Christian who was already standing up.

“Nick you know I’m not…gay right?” Nick nodded quickly and stood up as-well. “Ofcourse I know — I’ve always known I just, I wanted to get that off my chest.” Nick breathed out, his eyes wide and lip wobbly.

Christians expression hardened before he sat down again, covering his hands with his face. “Well maybe you shouldn’t have.” He muttered out.

Nicks face fell, his eyebrows furrowing and hands balling up at his sides. “Why shouldn’t I have?” Nick whispered out.

Christian let out a chuckle, an annoyed tight one. “Because it’s just, why would you ever admit that?” Christian snapped causing Nick to flinch at his tone.

“I just, I thought if I got it off my chest—“ Nick started before being cut off by Christian. “Just save it Nick, you’re crazy and this whole thing is fucked up.”

Nick went to speak again but Christian stood. “You know I don’t even know how I can look at you anymore.” Christian continued, his voice raising.

Nicks expression hardened before he snapped. “You know I don’t know how I ever even fucking loved you.”

“Well it seems like you can’t help that.” Christian practically yelled out.

Before nick or Christian could get out another word nicks bedroom door opened, Chris and Matt standing in the door frame.

“The fucks goin’ on?” Chris questioned, rubbing his eyes.

“Nothing.” Nick snapped out before Christian shoved past Chris and Matt leaving the triplets in nicks room.

“The fuck did you do?” Chris snapped out towards Nick before quickly following after Christian.

Matt’s concerned gaze fell onto Nick, before Nick could even get out another word Matt was pulling him into his embrace.

There was a beat of silence the only sounds coming from nicks cries muffled by Matt’s shoulder and some noises coming from downstairs before Nick spoke up.

“He’ll never love me back.”

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#jaydens reblogs 🕸️. *. ⋆#moots ⚘#my baby 🐥#etherealsturns .ᐟ

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