eumheather

[eumheather]

you know what’s sad? the fact that im too good for any man i will ever meet. tragic.

[eumheather]

nelliott:

“Superlike,” Nick replied, reaching out and flicking the photo of himself upwards before Heather had a chance to react otherwise. It wasn’t so much that he wanted to match with her (although, if he was being honest with himself then he probably would go there - personality to one side) but rather, that he wanted to see her profile. “Seems like he’d be a decent bloke.”

Heather grimaced as Nick flicked up. The risk of that happening was possible, but she didn’t think he would actually do it. Taking back the phone towards her in a scramble, Heather reviewed his profile again. “Who knew I had my age limit all the way,” she said with a smile. “I’m joking, I don’t discriminate.” She was being truthful, always on the lookout for those D.C. sugar daddies. “Oh hey, he’s called Nick too and works at the Post. What are the odds?” 

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She looked up from her phone with a gentle smile. “Sincere apologies, you just look quite...youthful for the role.” If she wasn't on work time, she'd give herself a better line. Not every politician was a MILF. "Just used to Texan reps being male dinosaurs." She cleared her throat for her 'PA voice'.

"I'm Heather, here from Calhoun & Associates. I was doing some client check-ups around the office building and was just passing by. I believe your chief of staff expressed interest in our service — and well, I'm just here to scope you for our client list."

“No sweetheart, I ain’t the secretary. This is actually my office. Can I help you or are you gonna stand there gawpin’ until you catch a fly?”

[eumheather]

Heather was as happy as anyone to see the bill fail in the Senate. However, the zeal Hans was showing was excessive. She had little care for the result, but one of her ‘friends’, a Democrat’s staffer, had been upset all week. Heather only tolerated Kelsey as her liberal tendencies extended to her financial spending, meaning she often paid for Heather. And she made Heather feel far less self-destructive. Kelsey the socialist couldn’t shut up about the how America’s future was green, nor how hot the blond across the television screen was. 

“That’s your call to go,” Heather said to her friend, when Hans stood up to celebrate. It was too much testosterone for her, personally. “He’s happier, not brooding anymore so probably easier to talk to.” But her friend resisted. And after a few moments of bickering, Heather stood up instead. Scowling behind her shoulder as she made her way towards Hans and slid onto the seat opposite him. 

“What’s a guy like you doing, celebrating alone?” Her voice was uninterested and monotone. It was her hippie heiress friend who was craving that bad boy oil lobbyist. Heather was just ready to dump her on him and bolt off. “You’re the oil guy, aren’t you? My friend and I just wanted to fact-check...that.”  

There was a pause between the last vote cast, the Vice President finishing the session, and the results that came up bold and real on the screen: fifty-nine point oh-nine and he’d done it. He’d fucking done it. Hans shoots out of his seat and slams his fist on the table, as one would after seeing his team win the Super Bowl. And he might just have. 

“Yes,” he says, more to himself than any of the others there. “Fucking yes. I told you renewable energy was bullshit.”

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juliettejacobson:

Juliette was not an avid user of Tinder.  So, she was very surprised when Heather showed her the screen.  “Well he’s cute,” she shrugged.  “It probably depends more on what standards you’re looking for.”  Then again, Juliette was currently dating a senator.  Standards meant different things to different people.  “Are you looking for a relationship or fun?  He seems like fun, but definitely not for a relationship.”

“Cute, like a puppy. You’re right, he’s probably a little pathetic, don’t want to take on that chance,” she said, before swiping left. Huffing, she placed the phone screen down and leaned into her arm. “For either one, it’s not quality by any means. Just anything to pass the time. And get out of my aunt’s house some nights. That helps.” Straightening (hah!) up again, she continued. “You’re dating that hot senator, aren’t you? You have time for that? My career is only just starting and this thing–” she picks up her phone and waves it. “It’s the only thing that makes getting company quick enough.” 

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adamconnelly:

“Uh -” Adam was caught off guard as the screen was unceremoniously thrust in his face, raising a brow and glancing up over it at the woman holding out toward him. He was just trying to doctor his coffee, not exactly expecting to offer a stranger dating advice - but he was in a good mood lately and decided to humor her, glancing down at the picture before he met her dark eyes again. “Nay. Too much hairgel. I know that type of guy.” He looked down again, almost flustered as he added another sugar packet into his cup, stirring slowly. “Though I guess it depends on what you’re looking for.”

Upon his reply, Heather glanced at Adam’s own perfect quiff with derision as she dramatically swiped. As if to say, too much hairgel, huh? But she had no intention of provoking the senator. If downtime was rare mineral Heather craved, catching a politician on their down time was even rarer. She wished she had planned to take the spare seat next to him in the congressional canteen. Perhaps, serendipity could exist in her logical hustle worldview. She spluttered a laugh. “And this one put 6′2 in bio, nothing else, just that. I’m looking for a little more substance than that, but beggars can’t be choosers.” (Idioms seemed like the country club speak a bland man like Adam would feel more comfortable around). 

[eumheather]

Work had slowed enough for Heather to be lulled into a rhythm that allowed her to take some time to swipe on Tinder. “I’m just waiting for summer to come round so that all the fresh meat — I mean, interns, of course — can add some variety around here.” There was enough playfulness in her voice to suggest sarcasm, but not enough to be convincing. Her nose crinkled as she continued flicking to the left of her phone screen. She was rarely seen without the device. It had her music and social life, controlled her work life, and was rarely out of her sight. In an out of character move, she turned phone over to the other. “What do you think? Yay or nay for this one?”  

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— 🚨🍌 🐍 🇰🇷 

“I’m not like other Asian girls, not like other FOBs. I’m not quiet or demure. I take up space. I’m not ‘foreign’. I know English, the proper kind that spells it colour. Admittedly in the minority but neither model nor mythical.”

a.k.a I’m not a typical Asian American girl...(though I listen to popular rap and appropriate the black experience without acknowledging anti-blackness — just as many Asian Americans do)

[eumheather]

아이유 (IU) - 잼잼 (Jam Jam)

[eumheather]

People are sleeping on ‘em. Like reaaaallly!