euphobicgeotech

[euphobicgeotech]

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[euphobicgeotech]

JUDE: -the past few weeks since this motley crew came together have been devoted largely, at least by jude, to further studying the portal which he had set up in james' basement. it's easier with his dad around, being the brilliant mind that he is. not to mention someone far less cautious, who would likely suggest things jude would be too afraid to try...- 

JUDE: -he's insisted on having jane around, too, still settled on the theory that her crocker corp. technology triggered it somehow. but when nothing seemed to be working to activate it, jude continually got more frustrated. and paranoid. he had no idea if/when the uu was going to get there, and at this point he was even afraid to leave the basement.- 

JUDE: -today he feels especially anxious. he doesn't know why, but deep in his gut he knows something is going to happen. that's why he insistently wrangled up everyone down to their little makeshift lab. they'll find him pacing when they get there.-

JANE: -She's here before anyone else, punctual as usual. She's also bringing down a tray of chocolate chip cookies in the hope of easing everyone's minds and stomachs a little bit. Gatherings should always have food, she is pretty sure. And because maybe it will give Jude something to do that isn't just pacing, because that is making her anxious, frankly.-

JANE: Hello. I'm here for the very important meeting?

PENNY: -Meanwhile, she thought she was being invited to a private party. Maybe she forgot, or maybe she misunderstood. Both are plausible. Either way, it may probably explain her little skirt and all the makeup. How's it going basement people?? She's here to party. Just gonna lean over the stair railing and peep.- oh hi. 

PENNY: whats going on down here?

JANE: Apparently, we've been summoned to watch Jude pace a hole in the baseboards. :B

PENNY: oh okay. so the usual.

JUDE: -stops to stare at the way she's dressed- ... uh 

JUDE: I guess it must count as high quality entertainment

PENNY: -STRETCHES OUT A LEG DOWN THE STEPS. Hello.- Im here for it personally.

JANE: -ROLLS EYES and puts the cookies down on the table that has got to be down here.-

JAMISON: =Cookies you say? Cookies and SCIENCE! He's here for both of these things mid-tromp down the staircase when he spots a Penny= Oh! =STOPS in his tracks, the stairs probably whining under all that rough, old man boot= Hello there! 

JAMISON: =Leans behind her and peeps= Is this what we're doing?

JUDE: ... 

JUDE: yes, everyone, we're gathered here to watch me pace

PENNY: oh hey Dad.

PENNY: -scoots closer to the rail so he can try to get by her-

JAMISON: =Boy does he beam at being called dad and he's been insisting on it being a thing= Howdy Doody daughter-in-law! Haw! =He has a STEP-DAUGHTER= 

JAMISON: =Stomps his way down the rest of the steps and beams at Jane and Jude and even if Penny isn't a J-name she's welcome too= Come come, look there are cookies so lovingly provided by Laney-Jane herself! :D

PENNY: mmm. thats true. -internal screams tho-

JANE: Yes, please, have some before they're cold.

JUDE: -he's just... he's just all red in the face over here. it's fine.-

JUDE: ... -reaches for a cookie finally, too. he nibbles.-

JANE: -smiles a little at Jamison before glancing back at Jude. MERCILESSLY.- So...?

JANE: What's all the hubbub and pacing for?

PENNY: -slowly descends the steps-

JAMISON: =chomps on these cookies over here= I do beleive something LARGE and possibly in-charge is about to occur!

PENNY: (Im large and in charge the other butts call me sarge.)

PENNY: -casually sits on the steps of the Fancy Machine thing. Like she knows what it is, come on, please.-

JUDE: -paces while nibbling- I've been talking to dirk strider 

JUDE: trying to come up with some kind of plan for them to enter earth's atmosphere 

JUDE: one person slipping through seems easy enough, but a whole ship? 

JUDE: anyway, I've just got a bad feeling about everything 

JUDE: like they aren't going to get here in time anyway 

JUDE: and I'm not sure-- -stops to stare at penny-

PENNY: -winks at him-

JUDE: can you... not sit there... it's making me nervous...

PENNY: everything makes you nervous baby.

PENNY: but ok.

PENNY: -scoots to the left-

JUDE: I... 

JUDE: alright 

JUDE: okay -paces more- 

JUDE: alright okay

PENNY: alright alright alright alright alright alright okay now ladies.

JANE: :|

JUDE: -they are clearly married-

JAMISON: =Walks behind jude and rubs his shoulders with strong father hands= Never fret lad! No use jittering for now!

JANE: Ahem... As you were saying, you're worried about their entry? That seems like a reasonable concern.

JANE: Do we have the technology to cloak them somehow? Jamison?

JUDE: hhhhnn -he's still a little twitchy, but the comforting is nice. he looks between jane and jamison now-

JAMISON: Oh goodness yes! However it's not only the sight it's a matter of something so massive shooting right through the atmosphere! Now I definitely could have been some small scale space rock these are common however something of that size would warrent some attention and look-sees!

JANE: So... 

JANE: If they're paying attention to atmospheric entries somehow, that would present a problem.

JANE: I'm not sure I can be of much help on this front...

JANE: Unless well wishes count.

JAMISON: They certainly do! And are greatly appreciated!

JAMISON: I still believe an equally large distraction, if not larger, is warrented however.

JANE: Hm.

JANE: Like an even BIGGER rock?

JANE: Large rocks are relevant to this strategic discussion at this point, I assume. Hoo.

JAMISON: =strokes his mustache, humming= That could do it.... so long as we destroy this rock before it provides ample damage to the planet.... 

 JAMISON: Yes.... this could be arranged.

JUDE: -looks terrified by this idea-

PENNY: oh hell yes.

JUDE: -we are literally under seige by planet fucking jupiter-

PENNY: lets throw a giant meteor at Earth and then blow it up.

PENNY: into smaller less deadly meteors.

JAMISON: Precisely!

JUDE: I don't 

JUDE: that's 

JUDE: ...

JAMISON: =He likes the way she thinks, this was a good wife for you Jude the Dude=

JUDE: -dad PLEASE-

JANE: And that would... work?

JAMISON: So long as they're focused on the deadly impending threat!

JAMISON: Which they would be! Haw! =Squeezes Jude's shoulders again= How does that sound my boy? =MY BOY!= :D

PENNY: ok but what if.

PENNY: a deadly meteor SHOWER.

PENNY: they gotta pay less attention to one small thing getting in if theres a ton of scarier things.

JAMISON: A regular risk-taker! I like that! 

JAMISON: This is also doable!

PENNY: yessss.

PENNY: bonus points if we hit a few of them with rock garbage.

JUDE: (how though...) 

JUDE: -he's anxious, so he's a little irrtable. instead of contributing to the conversation, he ends up fiddling with the machine some more-

PENNY: -peeps up at Jude from her stair and grins. ITS FINE JUDE SEE? YOUR DAD SAYS SO.-

PENNY: -plus a giant meteor shower would be a much cooler way to go-

[[As Jude begins fiddling with the machine once again, there is a high-pitched whine in their ears, and from the base to the height of the contraption, it slowly groaned to life. Light poured from the cracks and seeped up under the stone skin of the two serpentine figures gracing the exterior. Pinpricks of red and green concentrated at the eyes of the creatures and cut through the dim lighting of the basement before flickering down to a gentle glow like the eyes of a cat in the dark.]]

PENNY: -turns around slowly from the bottom of its step where she's sitting. Wat.-

JANE: !!

JANE: It's happening!

JAMISON: !!! =pulls out his blunderbuss.......slowly=

JUDE: !!!!! -his sentiments exactly. WHAT DID HE DO?? AGAIN?? he looks between the archway and the console, taking note of whatever he just did and trying to concentrate on that, but he's reasonably terrified of what might come through the other side.-

[[Suddenly, all the air seemed to suck from the room, pulling their breath with it as the windless energy surged toward the machine. And then with the silence preceding an explosion, a bright, blinding light struck away all shadow and slowly swirling, liquid like substance filled the archway of the machine.]] [[The substance itself was only semi-reflective. They could see the shapes of themselves and objects in the room, but not as clearly as with a mirror.]]

JAMISON: =He sees the mouth of his own gun as he aims it right at the machine= (Do your worst......) =Squints=

JUDE: UM 

JUDE: -hand out. dad let's be smart and bring it off- wait-- wait before you shoot okay???

PENNY: -UHHH. She's sort of sliding off the bottom step now, watching the archway.-

JAMISON: I'll wait.... =One split second=

JANE: ...Maybe it's a fluke?

JUDE: ... yeah maybe 

JUDE: or-- um... -pats around on his person... looks at the cookie he just left sitting on the console.- ... 

JUDE: -chucks it through that liquid veil????? sorry to whoever is on the other side, if anyone.-

JUDE: -he's a goddamn genius-

JANE: ?! -DID YOU JUST CHUCK HER COOKIE???-

[[The substance ripples outward, but unlike water it is slow as though Jude threw a cookie into a vat of syrup. In the murky relection of the portal (if they look closely) they can see a fifth figure. If they were to look behind them where the figure should stand, nothing is there. How spooky.]] 

[[In response, there is a voice. It is clearly surprised, or at least reacting as one does when a cookie is thrown at them. It is also clearly in the rough, gutteral launguage of the trolls.]]

JAMISON: =COCKS GUN=

JUDE: -if they can hear this person... then maybe they can hear them?- 

JUDE: ... -alright, he's not taking any chances with alternian either. THE PISTOLS ARE OUT. them harley boys...- 

JUDE: -and with that, he calls- who's there? -comes out way wimpier than he would've wanted. shit.-

???:  =there's muttering in Alternian like the figure is speaking to someone, then...=  whos asking?

JUDE: ... uh 

JUDE: I'm not just going to tell you that 

JUDE: ... 

JUDE: I'll throw another cookie

???: based on your logic, then why should i give hint to my identity? 

???: ... 

???: can you throw it higher this time?

JAMISON: Would a good ol blunderbusing encourage you possibili-fiend? =Hello he still has it=

???: youre threatening me at gunpoint now? where is your hospitality? ???2: =a happy, muffled BOOF is heard, and a second figure joined the first, four-legged and coming up to the other's waist.=

JAMISON: !!!!! (A dog....surely then they could only be friendly...)

PENNY: new phone HOO DIS.

JANE: Oh my God.

JUDE: -DOG!!!-

JANE: -approaches the gate- Hello? This is Jane.

JUDE: j... jane?

JANE: Please disregard my salty companions.

JAMISON: =Lowers gun he doesn't want to shoot Jane OR the dog. He inches closer with fists READY=

???: hello jane 

???: this is dog =gestures to the Figure 2, patting it on the head= im johnny knoxville

JANE: ... Fascinating.

JUDE: -A WISENHEIMER EH???-

JAMISON: Hmmmm......

JUDE: well this isn't jackass

JAMISON: What if I were to... put my gun down. And see this "dog" of yours.

JUDE: -father, please...-

JANE: IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU.

JANE: PLEASE ALSO DISREGARD THE THING ABOUT THE GUN.

JANE: Jamison would you PLEASE NOT.

???: how do i know you wont shoot my dog with your gun???

JANE: -double facepalm-

JAMISON: =OFFENDED SPUTTERING= I- WHA- I- !!!!

JAMISON: I WOULD NEVER!!!!

JANE: THIS IS JAMISON AND JUDE AND ALSO PENNY. HELLO.

???: thats what they all say

JANE: THEY ARE NOT AS RUDE AS THEY SOUND.

???: =silence. utter silence=

JAMISON: WHO'S THIS THEY?? I'LL GIVE THEM A GOOD WHAT-FOR WITH MY OWN MEATY MAN MITTS!!!!

JANE: DEFINITELY NOT THAT RUDE.

JANE: Cripes almighty.

???: =still not responding=

JAMISON: OH I'LL BE RUDE ALRIGHT!! >:O

JUDE: -that's a really weird response... a really, really weird response- 

JUDE: are you 

JUDE: are you saying you know who we are?

???: ...maybe???: =for the first time since they began speaking, the voice sounds uncertain= 

DOG: =there is a soft whine and the big fluff nudges the figure's hand, and begins trotting closer to the doorway. However, the dog is stopped by the hand on the collar holding him back.= 

???: maybe not the right ones

JAMISON: =holds his hands out.... gimme.... the dog=

JAMISON: We certainly aren't this "they" you mentioned!

JUDE: -there's a moment of recognition. her voice, the silhouette of her with the shaggy dog...  but it couldn't be, could it? anyone would know their names. it doesn't... it doesn't mean anything... but he can't help to be curious.- 

JUDE: yeah, uh... what do you mean by... the right ones?

???: =there is hesitation, and for a moment, the figure looks ready to bolt.= 

???: ive been trying to get back home to my family 

???: but every time i go through one of these doors, i dont like what i find on the other side???: i want the version i left

JAMISON: How many gosh darned doors are they? =He's a little less focused on the dog now... furrowing his eyebrows at this figure=

???: um... 

???: hundreds? 

???: thousands, possibly

???: it's hard to tell

JUDE: ... 

JUDE: what did you leave?

JANE: -glancing between all these guys like... wtf-

PENNY: -posing on her side on the floor at this point-

???: a presumed dead father, mother, aunt...brother 

???: i shouldnt be telling you this 

???: i dont why im still talking, frankly 

???: ... 

???: is it just the four of you?

JANE: Yes. It is.

JAMISON: .....Huh.... Yes. Yes? Yes.

???: =there is a small sigh. It isn't one of relief - if Jane and Jamison had answered 'no,' it would have been easier, she felt, on all of them.= 

???: ......jude? =she sounds hesitant addressing him= did something happen? bout ten years ago?

JUDE: -breath catches when he's called to and he's taken a bit by surprise by the question, but at the same time... it looks like his quick theories were already coming together.- that... 

JUDE: ... -he's slight for a good long moment. there's only one way to answer that question where he'd feel secure in doing so, but it wouldn't make much sense to anyone there. though hopefully it would to one person. he mumbles.- 

JUDE: you have seen this before 

JUDE: I can tell 

JUDE: you lied to them

???: =silence again, then the figure is swearing under her breath. Even as she says the next few words, she has already let go of the dog's collar, and both are moving quickly toward the doorway= 

???: i would never lie! i willfully participated in a campaign of misinformation. 

TESSERACT: =The dog comes through first, barreling into the room and full on tackling the closest person to unfortunately stand in his path. They are greeted with deep BOOFs! and slobbery kisses.= 

JOEY: =she runs in shortly after, all but ripping off the horns on her head and trying to rub grey paint from her face with her sleeve.=

JANE: -OOF. HELP SHE IS COVERED IN DOG.-

PENNY: whoaaa what the fu--

JAMISON: !!!! =He... knows this dog??!?= TESSIE! Tessie???? TESSIE!???!?! :'D

JUDE: -sorry, he's too busy standing there uselessly and staring at his sister in disbelief.- j.... joey? is it 

JUDE: I 

JUDE: I mean I know it has to be but-- I...

PENNY: -finds a camera to stare into.-

JAMISON: =wAit what??? He.... Looks up and just.... Immediately tears up= Lil Jojo??? =WHAT IS THIS? WHAT=

TESSERACT: =After giving Jane a thorough bath, his ears perked at the sound of his name! They know him and that makes him glad.= BOOF!! =runs in circles around Jamison. He's so excited, his tail AND his entire back end is wagging.= 

JOEY: =She's laughing, she's crying, she's leaping into the air and throwing her arms around her brother's neck.= 

JOEY: jude!! i thought they-- =who cares what she thought they did, the fact was that they didnt, and Jude was here and alive!=

JOEY: =glancing up at the sound of her nickname, her face drew in one of recognition.= Dad??

JANE: -The cowlick she has right now is ridiculous. She just sits up, looking way unamused.-

JAMISON: =Here come the feelies part 2 he's  definitely crying??? Hoists the dog and also Joey and Jude and just. SQUEEZES IN HIS WEEPY MANLY EMBRACE=

PENNY: -that's a strong old man...-

JUDE: hrk-- 

JUDE: -holy cow. this is... this is almost the whole family. there was so little hope of seeing them all again and yet... here they all were together. it's an emotional time, alright?? tears are being squeezed out of him.-

JOEY: =she's kissing her dad's cheek and just smooshing her entire face against Jude's, putting her arms around her family and hugging them tightly= 

JOEY: jude never stopped telling me you were alive. he always knew he was going to find you. and he did!! look, jude! you did!

JAMISON: Hoshes bagoshes look at you two! My sweet little fighters in all sorts of shenaniganry!! =hes so proud him weep a lot just, SQUEEZES THEM AGAIN then sets down=

PENNY: -aww.. this is really sweet... and yet she feels kind of sad and maybe even a little frustrated watching it unfold.-

[euphobicgeotech]

-- robynSaint [RS] began pestering euphobicGeotech [EG] at 19:11 --

RS: hey.

EG: oh hello

EG: again

EG: how are things in space?

RS: yeah, again.

RS: shitty. spacey.

RS: how are things in the end of the world?

EG: uh... well, I haven't looked outside in a while but if I had to make a guess I would say

EG: apocalyptic?

RS: hahaha, nice.

RS: anyway.

RS: what's she doing?

EG: you mean... right now? or

EG: in general

RS: both.

EG: well in general she's been hanging around

EG: she livens up the place a lot actually

EG: um... right now I think she's lounging... or something

EG: she's fine, basically

RS: is she breathing and lounging?

RS: is she conscious and lounging?

EG: ... yes

EG: hence the

EG: "she's fine" thing

EG: she's alright but she's dead

EG: no...

RS: ...sass.

RS: you know

RS: "how to be witty"

RS: with your conversations

RS: wow...

EG: these things slip out sometimes

EG: I'm sorry

EG: I'm under a lot of stress

RS: irritability is a side effect of fearing for your life.

RS: i understand.

EG: oh I'm really glad

EG: because I am just

EG: always so irritable

RS: okay, smart ass.

EG: sorry... again...

EG: I promise I'm keeping a close eye on her

RS: thanks.

RS: cuz i still love her.

EG: that's... I'm glad

EG: I really hope she comes around eventually

EG: um... sincerely I do

EG: because you don't seem like a bad person

EG: even if you are kind of stressing me out

RS: talk to my manager and this will all seem tame as fuck. downright domestic.

RS: also stressing people out is kind of my thing.

RS: but uh.

RS: she was a real cute baby, you know?

RS: i know what she grew up in cuz i did too. and i wanted to take her with me but...there was no way that could happen.

RS: without making everything ten times worse.

RS: i don't know why i'm telling you this.

EG: I would guess it's because we are mutually related to her and you don't really know anyone else who knows her?

EG: I don't really mind anyway

RS: yeah. haha. cool.

RS: i don't think i would have made a very good guardian for her either. but i guess it would have been better than our parents.

RS: i don't know.

RS: i have a lot of regrets when it comes to her.

EG: I understand

EG: I have a lot of regrets about a lot of things

EG: but

EG: your situation seemed really precarious

EG: I definitely wouldn't have known what to do

RS: now that i know she's alive, and that i'm gonna see her?

RS: i'm gonna do whatever i can to protect her. or help her. even if she doesn't want it.

RS: sure, she's not a little ginger 3 year old but she's still my sister.

RS: she's the only family i have left aside from the one i started.

EG: yeah uh

EG: okay I'm not really used to sharing these things but

EG: I've been seperated from my family for a really long time...

EG: and save for my mom, I'm finally... seeing them all again

EG: it's... I don't know

EG: it's been important for me

EG: and I think it would be important for penny too

EG: to have that kind of support

RS: it's a whirlwind isn't it? family found me. and freaked me out at first.

RS: how are you feeling about seeing everyone again?

RS: since you know it's going to happen?

EG: uhhh well

EG: funny story...

EG: my dad kind of crashed through the window here...

EG: and then my sister appeared through a portal from another universe

EG: so that's most of my immediate family right there

RS: hahaha oh my god.

RS: i thought my stories were crazy.

EG: yes... I could tell you some stories...

EG: maybe I will

EG: eventually

RS: i'd like that.

EG: yeah... me too, actually

RS: i'm glad you're around, jude.

EG: oh...

EG: thank you?

RS: you ever just meet somebody and think, hey, this person is a good thing.

RS: that's you.

EG: that's... an awful nice thing to say about someone... I don't really know how to respond

RS: you don't gotta. just thought you should know.

RS: i gotta get going, but...hang in there, alright?

RS: i'll bug you later.

RS: i'd apologize but i won't.

EG: well, I expected as much anyway so... that's alright

EG: I'll try to keep it together over here

RS: cool. see ya jude.

RS: take a sad world and make it better.

RS: ;)

EG: ah... there it is

EG: bye riley

-- euphobicGeotech [EG] ceased pestering robynSaint [RS] at 21:52 --

[euphobicgeotech]

-- euphobicGeotech [EG] began pestering gunhardyTemerity [GT] at 19:35 --

EG: so

EG: hello there

GT: Uh...

GT: Howdy! And whats with the handle making some untimely appearance?

GT: A bug? Maybe some kind of infiltration probe?

GT: !!!

GT: Ill have you know that I KNOW a thing or two about dispensing with them so i will ask you one time and one time only. How the blue balled blazes did you get this handle!!!?

GT: No time to speak im hitting the self destruct button!

EG: wait

EG: nO

EG: don't do that

EG: your grandma

EG: er

EG: jolene

EG: you call her grandma, right?

EG: she gave me the handle

EG: she said I should talk to you

GT: :O

GT: Holy shuckeroni did she? Grandma?

EG: yeah

EG: she's my aunt

EG: oh

EG: my name is jude, by the way

EG: you wouldn't know me... I guess

EG: well... you wouldn't know me anyway

EG: uh

EG: nevermind

EG: point is, I'm jude

EG: hello

EG: we're family I guess?

GT: WOAH NELLY. Well you cracked that guesstimation split clean between the ears mister jude. Being dear grandmas nephew...

GT: *Sniff.*

GT: I guess that does make us family. :'(

GT: Now.

GT: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!!!!!!

EG: huh???? oh

EG: I guess I assumed someone would have uh

EG: briefed you?

EG: on my whole... deal

GT: Errrr well now that you mention it... i might have heard it in passing?

GT: Cant say im top notch with names though.

GT: I guess its about time the two of us shook hands and such. Maybe it was only a matter of the thing?

GT: What ho my good man! Im jake! Jake english at your beck and service! :D

EG: yes I knew that but hello again jake

EG: I'm the "earth guy"

EG: the guy who is on earth

EG: and asked you all to come to me

GT: Whys all that again?

GT: You need help? Were on our way lickity split!

EG: yes, basically... without rehashing a lot of details I'm already wary about sharing over this client

EG: it's uh

EG: nice of you guys to respond so easily

EG: your captain guy is pretty agreeable

GT: He damn better be! Your grandmas nephew and therefore FAMILY.

EG: oh right she mentioned that...

EG: you're married? right?

EG: wait I misread

EG: whatever

EG: it's still a fact

EG: family or not I can tell he was a little hesitant even if ultimately he decided to help

EG: which I can understand

EG: I would say no if I were him

EG: it's kind of insane in all honesty

EG: earth is the last place I want to be

EG: and yet here I am

GT: Sorry bro... i know its a lot to guzzle down at once. :(

GT: But what are we if we dont take risks? Its all for a good cause! Youre right about it being a hard decision. But.

GT: By george if theres someone out there we can help i say we hop on that piping hot pistol!

GT: Speaking of piping hot pistols i am indeed married to captain strider!

GT: Or er.

GT: Wait.

EG: ...

EG: oh...

GT: Not like... uh. Well i guess by virtue it is like that?

GT: ANYHOO.

GT: YEAH WERE MARRIED. Spousing up a number me dirk and sollux and our three kids!

EG: congratulations

EG: that's very...

EG: nice

EG: I'm glad

GT: Thanks chum! We missed you at the ceremony but then...

GT: I didnt even know you existed!

EG: it's okay

EG: I don't do so great at social gatherings anyway

EG: I would send a greeting card but um... I don't think there are any hallmark stores open around here

GT: Thats alright. You know im the same way in some instances...

EG: really? you seem so... vibrant...

EG: like my dad

GT: Well be the two handsome gents making up the wall flora!

GT: And whos your dad again?

EG: jamison harley

GT: JAMISON HARLEY?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!

GT: Great scotts alive!!!!!!!!!!! Thats incredible!

EG: yeah... yeah, I know

GT: But that explains everything holy smokes!

EG: it... does?

GT: Youre darn tootin it does!

GT: Where else are you going to get guts like yours?? HAH.

EG: uh??? I'm not sure what you're referring to...

EG: but thanks?

GT: Doh thats simple.

GT: Its you!

GT: The man on earth!

EG: I get that but...

EG: okay

EG: sure

EG: you know... you're a lot like him too

EG: like

EG: a lot...

EG: which makes sense I guess

GT: Hey man if i had a dad id find it a comforting fact.

GT: So im with you there.

EG: ... yeah...

GT: And youre a comfort too! I really cant wait to meet you.

GT: Say judebox do you like movies?

EG: I...

EG: I do like movies

GT: !!!

GT: Enlighten me! What genre? Anything specific??

EG: I like... hmm

EG: monster movies...

GT: Jude.

GT: My dude.

EG: jake... my...

EG: huh

EG: it doesn't really work the other way around

GT: Is that not the magic fucking word?? Because i will tell you now IT REALLY FUCKING IS.

GT: I love monster flicks!!!!!!!!!!

EG: you don't say

GT: Shuck buster.

GT: Its too bad youre a fugitive stuck on earth.

GT: Id steal you away to peruse my collection here and now!

GT: Can you stream?

EG: oh... yeah, sure

EG: I don't see why not

GT: BOY HOWDY. You mean it???

EG: yeah

EG: yes

EG: okay

EG: let's watch a movie

GT: You got it judy holly! Lets do this thing.

[euphobicgeotech]

PENNY: -It's late. Some unknown hour of the morning, a time she hadn't bothered to try to check, and she's too wired, restless. Her stomach groans angrily, and for once she's out of her mind enough not to ignore it. In almost complete darkness, she tries to feel around the kitchen, in cabinets.-

JUDE: -he's awake and restless too, and he's climbing back up to the first floor from the basement where he's been hiding out most of the time. there's enough light from the stairwell for him to catch a glimpse of penny's shape in the kitchen. it spooks him a little, but he's slinking over when he recognizes it as her.- 

JUDE: got the munchies?

PENNY: -She starts, too, but only at the noise, glancing over her shoulder and taking in his foggy shape with too-tired eyes.- Jesus Jude. 

PENNY: I dont know what Im looking for.

JUDE: there's always more cookies... so many cookies

PENNY: yeah. 

PENNY: why dont you feed me one? -casually grips onto the counter and hops up, squirming her butt back on the surface.-

JUDE: oh, sure -eyes her silhouette wigglin' on the counter before he scoots over to the nearest cookie jar, popping it open and breaking out (1) cookie. he's definitely willing to oblige if it means getting her to eat. also, because he's not a COMPLETE dweeb.- 

JUDE: now where are you -"feels around" for her again. he touch leggy.- oh there you are -holds the cookie up to her-

PENNY: oh hey. -she leans for him, mouth falling open before she entirely identifies where the cookie is in relation to her face, and her tongue finds a good portion of his knuckles, the edge of a cookie poking her cheek.- ah-- haha -And she turns her head to bite it.-

JUDE: slimy -helps guide the cookie to her mouth while she turns her head to bite.-

PENNY: trooh. -She mutters around cookie, chewing slowly as her skin buzzes.- 

PENNY: hey... 

PENNY: what are you doing awake anyway? 

PENNY: isnt-- everyones supposed to be asleep right??

JUDE: well, sure... but I uh 

JUDE: I was having a hard time sleeping 

JUDE: it happens

JUDE: there's a lot to think about

PENNY: ...mm. 

PENNY: mhmm. 

PENNY: yeah me too. 

PENNY: this little house in the suburbs though? pretty fucking dope. 

PENNY: I feel like a cozy middle class American with a cookie cutter family thats exactly -She pokes his chest with the pad of a single fingertip.- a cheesy sitcom.

JUDE: oh, yeah -is poke. he reaches up to grab ahold of this poking hand.- 

JUDE: just... a man, a woman, his crazy dad in an iron man suit, and their friend from another reality 

JUDE: the shenanigans have... certainly ensued

PENNY: I like being the officially designated man and woman in this traditional formula sitcom. 

PENNY: -she likes this hand. She pulls it closer to rest her cheek into it.- 

PENNY: Im kind of mad at you.

JUDE: oh... I'm sorry -strokes at her cheek with his thumb. soft...- 

JUDE:  what'd I do?

PENNY: you didnt crawl outta that treehouse sooner. 

PENNY: ... 

PENNY: I never had a treehouse. I shoulda made you show me yours before we left for good.

JUDE: -lopsided smile- oh, yeah... I wish I had thought of that 

JUDE: it's too bad there's no treehouse here... then I'd really feel at home

PENNY: yeah. 

PENNY: when we get married lets build our own treehouse. 

PENNY: no non harleys allowed.

PENNY: -reaches her other hand over to pet his fluffy hair.-

PENNY: hit me.

PENNY: with a cookie not literally.

JUDE: -grabs another cookie for her, just as she DEMANDS and holds it to her lips. he wonders if he should feel weird about her constantly proposing marriage, but he doesn't really. especially not when he's on the receiving end of pets.-

JUDE: that sounds... nice 

JUDE: who would have thought I'd meet someone who enables my hermit lifestyle

PENNY: thats me an enabler. -nom- 

PENNY: mffph. 

PENNY: stuck with a weirdo. dreams really do come true. 

PENNY: at least she eats your cookies. -WINK.-

JUDE: finally... a woman who eats my cookies 

 JUDE: -snrk... he wonders how long he's gone without kissing her. too long. he leans in for one.-

PENNY: -Oh, hey. She goes still, processing the mouth on hers, and then she hums into his lips, another buzzy feeling that tickles, and she hums a laugh, too.- 

PENNY: hey Jude? -She pauses, snickers. She crosses and uncrosses her legs, the outside of one of her knees nudging at the side of his hip.- sorry. but no really. 

PENNY: what were you... thinking about?

JUDE: -hands seem to find her hips without much thought.- you mean... what's keeping me up? 

JUDE: our situation, mainly 

JUDE: if we're safe here 

JUDE: if we're still being followed and how long it's going to take them to find us 

JUDE: -pauses- 

JUDE: ... I've been 

JUDE: thinking about you too, admittedly 

JUDE: okay that probably isn't that surprising of a confession 

JUDE: I just mean... you know, since the other day-- -sighs, doesn't finish that thought-

PENNY: ... -She waits, and then her head dips, trying to look at him a little closer in the darkness.- the other day what? 

PENNY: what about the other day?

JUDE: -winces- ... mrgh 

JUDE: when you told me about your sister? -remember? oh geez, what if she doesn't remember-

PENNY: what about it? -She remembers. Enough, anyway. It's deciphering why he would want to talk about it that she's having a harder time with.-

JUDE: you were just-- you were 

JUDE: you seemed really upset 

JUDE: upset enough to get really high -huff- 

JUDE: which I'm pretty sure is a bad reason to do that 

JUDE: but what do I know 

JUDE: about things like that 

JUDE: anyway I-- uh 

JUDE: I'm just worried about you

PENNY: youre worried about me? 

PENNY: pff. dude. 

PENNY: something elses WAY more likely to kill me at this point. Ill be lucky if its the pills. 

PENNY: you know?? hahaha.

PENNY: hey you know what we should do?

JUDE: -he isn't sure what to say. good thing she changed the subject, but he's not sure how much he wants to hear this suggestion. he sighs.- what's that?

PENNY: we should... 

PENNY: run down to that itty bitty liquor store I saw a few blocks that way. -She gestures vaguely. She sounds a little more like Texas than she usually does.- pick up some bottles. and have our own damn party. 

PENNY: no more worrying about sleepin'.

JUDE: -there's a lot to consider with a proposition like that. if he agrees... then who's the enabler now? maybe they could bite it at any moment, maybe the world really was ending. he'd certainly believe it... but what if it wasn't, and he let her hurt herself worse? is it right? but does it really have to be wrong, either? these moral dilemmas aren't exactly something he's accustomed to, but one thing that does seem to ring clear in his mind is the fact that he really doesn't want to overthink right now. and with her, it feels possible, if only for this moment.- 

JUDE: -sigh of resignation.- ... alright 

JUDE: but let's not... over do it... -sweats- 

JUDE: I'm kind of a light weight

PENNY: -At first at the reply, she lights up, all wide eyes and a smile, but then at his addition, she can't help laughing.- ha HA! of course you are. 

PENNY: bet I could carry you there. 

PENNY: -Just like that, she hops back off the counter, dusting off her thighs with a few quick slaps.- but this is gonna be a covert operation so. sorry chicken legs youre gonna have to hoof it. 

PENNY: but not literal like hoof clopping you have. to be. -She turns her head over her shoulder just to stare at him.- 

PENNY: ... (quiet.)

PENNY: -She grins slow, and then she's a few bouncy steps into the little foyeur, slipping her shoes on over sockless feet.-

JUDE: -he follows, playing along by treading lightly and keeping his voice low.- (I'm incredibly stealthy I'll have you know) 

JUDE: -stumbles a little after saying that, because that's just his luck. it's too easy to trip over his own shoes...-

[euphobicgeotech]

-- pennyLane [PL] began pestering euphobicGeotech [EG] at 22:33 --

PL: hey baby.

PL: where are you?

PL: Im too lazy to look.

PL: I dont want to get up.

EG: I'm in the basement again

EG: but I can come to you if you want

EG: where are you?

PL: IM on the co9uch.

PL: its really soft.

PL: feels good.

PL: oh my butt.

PL: **on

PL: OH MY BUTT.

PL: I need you to hold it for me.

PL: my designated....

EG: ... yes, okay, I'll be right there

PL: ass holder.

EG: that's me

JUDE: *HERE HE COMES. right up into the living room from the basement, peering around the corner to peep on her hanging out on the couch.*

PENNY: *She is absolutely sprawled out on the couch, laying back with her phone above her face. He's here just in time to watch her drop it onto her face.*

PENNY: ow fu ck.

JUDE: ... *snorts and approaches her, sitting down at one end of the couch.* you okay?

PENNY: Im dead thanks for asking.

PENNY: wow phones are.

PENNY: SO much heaveir than I remember.

PENNY: what the fuck?

JUDE: *reaches over to remove the phone from her face.*

PENNY: rthanks.

PENNY: Im back now.

PENNY: and youre.

PENNY: all the way over there.

JUDE: *sets the phone down on the coffee table and looks back at her.* oh yeah

JUDE: that's a problem

PENNY: yeah it is. *casually slides her knees up only to splay her legs open as she just keeps on laying there. A CLASSY LADY.*

PENNY: cmere.

JUDE: uhh *stares sweatily for a moment, but then looks around and carefully just... reaches over to close her legs back together. then moves them aside so he can squeeze between her and the back of the couch for maximum spooning.* how about this?

PENNY: mmmghhh.

PENNY: *SHE WHINE.*

PENNY: *And then she turns her head to look at him over her shoulder.*

PENNY: kiss me.

JUDE: *well... he can't exactly object to that and leans in to press a soft kiss to her.*

PENNY: *She tries to deepen it almost immediately, tongue brushing his lips, and it's apparent soon enough that she tastes like so much bitterness.*

JUDE: *brows knit at the peculiar way she tastes. not that it's unfamiliar, entirely, but it's stronger than usual. a little off putting, even, which is terribly unfortunate when he would very much like to kiss her. even if he pulls away, he still noses at her hair and curls an arm around her tightly.*

PENNY: --ah what no where you going?? *She seems oblivious. Or, at least, she acts so.*

JUDE: nowhere *peeks back up at her.* ah...

JUDE: but maybe we should move elsewhere? you know, somewhere more private?

PENNY: why do we. *She blinks a few times, eyelids heavy.* gotta go anywhere???

PENNY: Im good right here.

PENNY: right here with you.

PENNY: *She's trying to roll over, now, to face him more completely. She nuzzles into his neck, pressing wet kisses there.*

JUDE: ... *he tries to search her expression, until she's squirming in closer to him, but he really doesn't need to overanalyze her behavior to know something's wrong.* penny...

JUDE: are you... uh

JUDE: are you sure you're good?

PENNY: mh.

PENNY: God you smell good.

PENNY: not like-- *cracks up* like that.

PENNY: Im not gonnna eat you.

PENNY: Jesus.

PENNY: you let a cannibal into your home.

PENNY: youre gonna regret THAT later.

JUDE: *snorts a little, but still very concerned...* all these crimes are just adding up

JUDE: *pets at her hair.* penny... really though

JUDE: ... you're worrying me a little bit

PENNY: Im fine dude.

PENNY: I am. GOOD.

PENNY: like for once.

PENNY: its just good you know?

JUDE: yeah, um... yeah

JUDE: I agree

JUDE: that things are pretty good despite the world metaphorically and possibly literally being on fire

JUDE: but I...

JUDE: think maybe you're

JUDE: ... I'm not sure how I'm supposed to approach this

PENNY: approach WHAT?

JUDE: ...

JUDE: that

JUDE: you are not

JUDE: ...

JUDE: sober?

PENNY: oh pffffff.

PENNY: *reaches up and scratches at her face*

PENNY: you could have just SAID that.

PENNY: its not like.

PENNY: ... *seems to just stop there.*

JUDE: *stares for a second, waiting for her to finish that sentence, but...*

JUDE: not like...?

PENNY: what?

PENNY: oh hey.

PENNY: you know what.

PENNY: my sister is a BITCH.

JUDE: that is

JUDE: a very sudden thing to bring up

PENNY: no Im serious.

PENNY: did you know you met her??

PENNY: did I tell you that?

JUDE: er... no, you didn't

PENNY: well you did.

PENNY: and so I went and talked to her.

PENNY: and boy that was hilarious.

PENNY: ... *she's very quiet again.*

JUDE: *looks at her sympathetically, running his hand through her hair some more.* what... happened?

PENNY: *She inhales slow and deep.* I... just...

PENNY: *It feels so hard to keep her eyes open all of a sudden. She's blinking a few too many times.*

PENNY: shfucki...

PENNY: ...

PENNY: sucks...

JUDE: *well, if he wasn't worried BEFORE... he doesn't want her to pass out when he doesn't know just how much she's been taking -- of whatever she's been taking, so he tries to sit them both up.* penny

JUDE: hey

JUDE: you don't have to worry about her

PENNY: *Oh hello, she's a little noodly but stiffens up some once they're actually upright.*

PENNY: fuck her.

PENNY: I cant believe that. shit.

PENNY: except I can.

PENNY: thats whats so funny about it.

PENNY: do you know--

PENNY: you know what she said??

PENNY: she said.

PENNY: ... fuck.

PENNY: she said...

PENNY: whatever. just like. it didnt matter it was me.

PENNY: that Im here and that were gonna die and shes just.

PENNY: she doesnt care.

JUDE: ... *pulls her into a tight hug, wishing he were better at the whole comforting thing.* I'm sorry

PENNY: *She huffs a little, still for a moment, something about this just feeling... wrong. She pulls back.*

PENNY: shes nicer to you than she was to me.

PENNY: at least YOU got a fucking song.

JUDE: *stares at her a little wide eyed when she pulls away, but what leaves him even more bewildered is what she says.* your

JUDE: sister is robyn saint?

PENNY: my sister is Robyn fucking Saint.

PENNY: otherwise known as Riley Piper.

PENNY: otherwise known as.

PENNY: who cares.

JUDE: *he has to take a moment to let that sink in. what are the odds that all these people would come together as they are? he's weirded out by it, and reflexively suspicious, though he can't for the life of him figure out what exactly he's suspicious of. not to mention, he doesn't want to think about it like that. for once.*

JUDE: that is

JUDE: one incredible coincidence

JUDE: ...

JUDE: but that

JUDE: doesn't matter

JUDE: I... she *glances away.* she's on that ship

JUDE: the ship that's... coming to get us *he's thinking out loud at this point, for a lack of anything better to say.*

PENNY: ...

PENNY: youre fucking kidding me.

PENNY: youre.

PENNY: thats just.

PENNY: HAHA.

PENNY: what??

PENNY: God.

PENNY: thats...

PENNY: *rubs at one of her eyes.*

PENNY: thats hilarious.

JUDE: *stares at her, questioningly, but he's unsure of how to vocalize what he's afraid of. what if she decides not to come with them because of this? he doesn't want her to stay here when things are like this, when she's hurting the way she is.*

JUDE: it

JUDE: it's something, alright

PENNY: whatever.

PENNY: I dont wanna talk about her.

PENNY: I just wanna be with you.

JUDE: *maybe that's for the best... there isn't much that can be said like this, anyhow, so he tries to pull her in close again.* okay, well...

JUDE: I'm here

PENNY: *And now, somehow, it aches a little.*

PENNY: why...

PENNY: are you so fucking nice?

PENNY: *Her head just sort of leans into his chest, and she's engaged by the thudding of his heart against her ear.*

JUDE: *strokes her hair again, exhaling at the question.* I don't see any reason not to be?

JUDE: ... I like you

PENNY: I like you too.

PENNY: fuck.

PENNY: its so...

PENNY: stupid.

PENNY: haha.

PENNY: God...

PENNY: you know I wasnt kidding about you smelling good.

PENNY: like you really do.

JUDE: *laughs a little* what do I smell like?

JUDE: I can't exactly tell

JUDE: but I never imagined it was like anything pleasant

PENNY: I dont know like...

PENNY: *She purposefully nuzzles his chest where her face is still tightly pressed.*

PENNY: guy smell. and just. like.

PENNY: soft though.

PENNY: *And she fumbles for one of his arms, her grip sliding down to his wrist and pulling his hand closer so she can smell that, too.*

PENNY: sometimes your hands smell like. nuts.

PENNY: i mean seeds.

PENNY: hahahaHA fuck.

PENNY: nuthands.

PENNY: nuthands mcmike.

PENNY: Mc. Mike.

PENNY: thats so excessive.

PENNY: Im gonna change my name to McMike ok?

PENNY: wait no.

PENNY: I want.

PENNY: I want your name.

PENNY: thats what I said.

PENNY: duh.

JUDE: *oh... his face is heating up suddenly.* huh

JUDE: like

JUDE: penny harley?

JUDE: penny

JUDE: nuthands mcmike

JUDE: harley

PENNY: ...

PENNY: *snORTS AND WHEEZES.*

PENNY: *and now she's fucking. losing her shit.*

PENNY: AhaAHAHHAAH FUCK.

JUDE: ... I'm just saying... if anyone is "nuthands" here...

PENNY: oh m??? y.?? God??

PENNY: I know??

PENNY: I fucking.

PENNY: I fuck-- ing love nuts...

PENNY: *She's crying.*

JUDE: ... *snrrrrkkkkkkk*

JUDE: *wheezes against her hair.*

PENNY: *She sniffs, reaching up and wiping at all the tears just rolling down her cheeks. They just keep happening, and she keeps giggling despite them.*

PENNY: I really.

PENNY: really...

PENNY: like.

PENNY: Im just.

PENNY: I cant believe this is happening to me.

PENNY: you know?

JUDE: yeah... I know

JUDE: I feel the same

PENNY: pffff.

PENNY: what do you have to be surprised about?

PENNY: youve got. your birds and. Jane.

PENNY: and this house and like. your sudden dad.

PENNY: and they all care about you or you wouldnt have any of this shit.

PENNY: so you dont feel the same.

PENNY: you dont-- get that Im gonna d-- *Her voice warbles, the sound coming out high and tense around her tears.* --ie knowing n-- o one gives a shit...

JUDE: *oh... he squeezes her to him again, heart racing with the sudden fear that she really believes that.* penny... that's not

JUDE: that's not going to happen

JUDE: you're safe so long as you're with us

JUDE: and you're not... alone, either

PENNY: *She doesn't say anything more yet. She can't. She can't form more words around the sobs that keep coming, and it's all exactly what she didn't want to feel, but right here, with the sensation of feeling genuinely comforted for once, it's too much to hold. If he just wasn't so damn soft, it'd be easier. If he wasn't so fucking nice.*

JUDE: *as difficult as it is to witness, anxiety gripping him tightly when he's so uncertain of whether or not he's being helpful, he thinks it best she let it all out like this. one thing was clear, was that she had been trying so hard to numb this exact sensation, and if she could express it... know that it's okay to express, then maybe she would be alright. he really hopes so.*

PENNY: *She feels, if anything, much the opposite -- her body aches from how the sadness sears her with every sob she has to force out, how she has no choice. She wants it all to come to a stop, but even that's fucking pathetic, isn't it? That's life, it's life, it's always been like this, and for what fucking purpose? Why has she ever put up with it? She sort of squirms in his hold, the only thing still keeping her there how tightly he's holding her. She isn't sure she can get away, even if it hurts to be here. She isn't sure she really wants to, and that's the worst part. Any more reason to stay is just another thing she can't take losing.*

JUDE: *does she want him to let go? should he? he doesn't know. he only knows he's afraid to. what she might do, what she might think... so he keeps holding on, trying his best to comfort her by stroking her hair.* penny... don't

JUDE: don't leave

JUDE: please

PENNY: *And, of course, that makes it harder -- the words won't stop rattling in her mind, tortuously hopeful and achingly sincere, and she's sure going to ruin him if something else doesn't ruin this first. She gasps in stuttering breaths and finally acquiesces to his embrace, her own arms wrapping around him and clinging tightly, nails pressed into his shirt. She's a fucking mess, and now he knows. He was bound to know eventually.*

PENNY: f... uck...

JUDE: *it came on unexpectedly -- the sting of his own tears, realizing just how lonely he had been, and how desperate he is to keep ahold of everything that had happened upon his life so suddenly, and all at once. the idea of it leaving him again is much too familiar and too real. maybe she's a mess, but so is he. in different ways, but in no position to judge, and maybe even in ways that compliment her. regardless of all that, he isn't ready to let go, even if it might be selfish. he's quiet for a long while, tears leaking silently.*

PENNY: *Eventually, it's all quiet; she can breathe, albeit... messily, and the numbness from crying and drugs both take over again. She's a little dizzy from the effort of it all, and the longer the quiet stretches, she feels she might disconnect again, the whole world fuzzier, her grip loosening and sliding from his back.*

JUDE: *feeling her hands slip away causes his heart to skip again with panic, but he tries not to assume the worst. of course she's tried... even he's tired, and he was no where near as compromised as she was. he does mutter to her, though, while he sinks back down to lie against the couch cushions.* penny... let's take a nap *exhales, his eye lids falling shut.*

PENNY: okay... *It's little more than a muddy whisper, a shock to manage so much as it is, and she only just barely moves to adjust on top of him. Maybe it's better this way... For now, she wants to forget about everything else.*

[euphobicgeotech]

JANE: -When Jane awoke, it seemed clear enough to her what may have occurred the night before, what with the sight of two bodies strewn across the bed opposite her, both covered in burgundy lipstick and hair more than a little mussed. ALL RIGHT THEN.-

JANE: -For now, she paid it no mind; she had gotten showered and dressed and decided on a mission of her own. She would step out and find them something for breakfast.-

JANE: -It took some time to walk down the street and locate a place still running, but there was a locally owned bakery that was still open (by some remarkable feat of luck, she imagined, considering baked goods stood as competition... but she wouldn't entertain that thought too far). After grabbing a few bagels and a baker's dozen, she made the trek back to the hotel room before it was even eight AM, feeling all the more accomplished for the task.-

JANE: -And when she came in and they were still asleep, she huffed, rolling her eyes and grabbing their blanket to shake it.-

JANE: Breakfast, you two. I would recommend it while it's still got some warmth to it.

JUDE: -the sound of jane's RUSTLING has him whining into consciousness, but then penny's warmth has him drifting again... but oh. jane. he startles awake, sitting up very suddenly and blinking at her blurry form at the end of the bed.-

JUDE: ... -cheeks turn bright red as he paws around for his glasses, fixing them clumsily onto his face-

JUDE: good

JUDE: good morning

JUDE: ... there's breakfast? PENNY: -She's waking up with similar dissatisfaction, grumbling and curling into Jude's side, face buried in his hip.- mrrg... thirty more minutes... to an hour...

JANE: Yes, breakfast. I found a place. -Subtle preening.- There are both bagels and donuts for your perusal.

PENNY: ..... dyou say donuts?

JANE: Donuts, indeed. JUDE: ... I want a donut -when was the last time he had a donut? who even knows, but he's abandoning penny for it. sorry, lover. he starts scooting over to the edge of the bed where jane is- ... -smiles sheepishly at her- PENNY: -Oh, don't bother apologizing, she would hella abandon you for a donut. She's slooowly sitting up, too.-

JANE: -She's giving Jude a look that spectacularly captures the message I KNOW WHAT YOU DID without her having to say as much. Then she looks between both him and Penny.- Well, here they are.

JANE: -She shuffles back over to the little table where she's rested the bagels and donuts. There are a few bottles of water and tall cups of coffee there, too.- The bagels are everything with cream cheese, by the way.

PENNY: mmm…

PENNY: damn. thanks Jane. dont think Ive been woken up with breakfast since…

PENNY: ... ever actually hahaha.

JANE: Don't mention it. We've got another long day ahead of us, I'm sure. -She might be smiling a little bit, though.- Which means you two really ought to get up and at 'em!

JANE: I'm sure the Gunbirds want their breakfast, too.

JUDE: oh yeah of course -in fact, he makes that his priority, sliding off the bed onto the sleeping bag he has long since abandoned so he can get at the bird cage and fill up their bowl with seeds. he's smiling a little to himself, scratching at their feathers. he's in a good mood, that's for sure. he let his guard down and it didn't end in any immediate tragedy. it's nice.-

JUDE: -peeks up at jane then.- thank you by the way

JUDE: for the food

JUDE: -wonders if he can reach over and grab something from the table where he's sitting... his arms are long, he thinks he can manage. STREEETTTCCHHH.- JANE: ... -MORE EYE ROLLING.- Again, don't mention it. -pulls a nicely wrapped bagel out of the bag and holds it above Jude's hand.- But please do wash your hands first?

PENNY: -She's already rolled out of bed pretty quick while they do this, back into the bathroom, but she doesn't shut the door this time. There's the quiet sound of rattling, the same kind as in her glove box. A few moments later and she steps back out, leaning over the table and looking over the food.-

JUDE: -when he registers that sound, he faintly recalls all those pill bottles he saw last night, and after taking the wrapped up bagel he watches penny stroll over to the table.- oh

JUDE: -glances at jane again, only JUST registering what SHE said. he's so scatterbrained this morning... it's embarrassing.- good idea

JUDE: -rolls to stand, hovering behind the ladies. kind of... awkwardly leans over to set the bagel down. just for now. he peers at penny once more and starts to smile, AGAIN getting side tracked.- hi PENNY: -She seems to be frowning down at the sack of bagels and the box of donuts, even when Jude sort of leans into the side of her field of vision, but when he greets her, she glances back up to smile back.- hey Jude.

JANE: -She's pretty sure her life just became a romcom somewhere along the way... gdi. She's taking the only chair by the table to sit and unwrap her own bagel so she can watch the Gunbirds feast and NOT watch these two flirt.- JUDE: -yes, penny, gaze as his goofy lipstick covered face and be merry. also observe his shitty small talk skills, trying to make conversation just for the sake of talking to her.- did you sleep well...? PENNY: -It's Christmas in this bitch.- I slept great thanks.

PENNY: really. -She's making something of a show looking over his face, and his neck...- JUDE: -he blush, being looked over like that.- ... haha

JUDE: is there something on my face? -he jokes...- PENNY: uh huh.

PENNY: -She doesn't joke.- JUDE: …

JUDE: ... -starts moving over to the  bathroom, slipping inside to look at himself in the mirror before anything else.-

JUDE: oh

JUDE: (oh my god) JANE: -Snrrking into her bagel at that sound in the bathroom. YES, BE EMBARRASSED JUDE.-

PENNY: -Okay she's giggling more audibly than Jane is. Whatever she may have had in the bathroom, it isn't there on the counter now.- lookin good am I right? JUDE: hhhh…

JUDE: it isn't... unflattering, I guess -washes his hands while he's here, then tries to wipe the lipstick off with a wet towel.- PENNY: well have to go get you a tube. you think theres a Sephora still open somewhere? -She's still hovering over the table, eventually grabbing one of the coffees and sipping it, leaning back against the wall.-

JANE: I'm going to have to doubt it.

JANE: It's a nice thought, though. JUDE: -sighs when he can only remove so much and shuffles out again, returning to the table.-

JUDE: that's unfortunate

JUDE: I guess you'll just have to share

JUDE: -picks up the bagel, smiling at penny before he plops back onto the bed to sit.- PENNY: -It's a weird thought when she thinks for a second that he's talking about the bagel, and then she wishes.- that should be easy. -Sips coffee at him.-

JANE: -Aaaand they're flirting again.- Hurry up, you two.

JANE: I'm going to wait outside. -scoots her chair back and pulls Penny's bagel out of the bag to set it on the table right next to her, and then she bundles up the bag and tosses it in the trash can. Time to see herself out.-

PENNY: -stares at Jane... stares at bagel. Looks back at Jude and sips.- JUDE: -there she goes.... his face flushes again, feeling a little embarrassed and guilty. but, well, she's GONE NOW, so... he stares back at penny, chewing his bagel slowly.- ... aren't you hungry? PENNY: -She only sort of laughs at that for a moment.- ... yeah I guess. -Of course she is. She's always hungry. But this thing has got to have a million calories. But what does it matter? They're dying anyway. But do you want to die disgusting? Won't even Jude think you're disgusting? No, it's not like that. It doesn't have to be like that. It's not, shut up, it's not.-

PENNY: -She's been staring down at the bagel for way too many seconds now.-

PENNY: hey uh.

PENNY: ... do you wanna share? JUDE: -he might not think himself that graceful socially, but he is sharp enough to put a few things together and draw certain conclusions. then again, he can draw conclusions from just about anything... such is the life of a conspiracy theorist. if sharing will get her to eat, then that's better than her not eating at all.-

JUDE: yeah sure -he pats on the bed next to him. sit with him pretty lady.- PENNY: -She can't help smiling at how easily he accepts, how much lighter she feels just at that. He didn't even ask why, why it mattered. That's relief enough. She sits next to him, leaning over slowly just to... bite his bagel. And the bullet. She doesn't have to count so much if he's taking bites, too.-

PENNY: ... mmygod this is so fucking good. JUDE: -grins a little lopsided.- right? I missed... real food

JUDE: I could probably eat that whole box of donuts, to be perfectly honest -takes another bite as well- PENNY: wow.

PENNY: really? -she's more fixated on the eating all the donuts thing than the not eating real food thing- JUDE: yes

JUDE: okay, well, "could" is a poor choice of wording

JUDE: more like I really want to

JUDE: and I guess I could

JUDE: but I probably shouldn't

JUDE: that'd take me straight back to when I was a kid visiting my aunt... and she was constantly baking

JUDE: so me and joey would steal entire cookie jars and just go to town

JUDE: it always spelled for disastor -pauses... he can't believe he just spilled that lil anecdote about his childhood. takes a bite of bagel again contemplatively, then offers her another bite.- PENNY: -Huh. She leans and takes another bite, trying to imagine such a childhood. It sounded... nice.-

PENNY: whos Joey? JUDE: -quiets, suddenly feeling a little foolish for bringing her up so easily when he should have known the follow up question would be so difficult to answer.- she's um

JUDE: my older sister PENNY: -with the way his expression changes, she's not even going to ask more. She frowns.-

PENNY: yeah. sisters. theyre a thing. JUDE: -clearly, sisters are a sensitive topic. which is fine. he shouldn't talk about joey anyway. there's too much to say, and too much that he shouldn't reveal. not that he... distrusts penny, exactly. he did wake up this morning, after all. but family secrets are best left as that.-

JUDE: -he stands, but only long enough to grab the other bagel and a coffee, carefully balancing them all in his hands when he returns to her.- you wanna share this one, too? PENNY: ... -does she?? A good chunk of her says no, but another says she's starving.-

PENNY: -she shrugs a shoulder.- JUDE: -plops next to her again, nibbling the last bite of the remaining bagel, then holds the other one up to her face. pretty closely.-

JUDE: -sips coffee... GAZES WITH EYES THAT SEE ALL.- PENNY: ... -SNRK- fiiiine.

PENNY: -slow bites... while gazing back into his eyes. This is really intimate bagel eating right here.- JUDE: -almost chokes on coffee at such SULTRY FOOD CONSUMPTION.- hrk ... heheh PENNY: -chew- tell me how sexy did I make bagel eating?

PENNY: its not the sexiest food so Im really putting effort in here. JUDE: it's... it's definitely nice to watch

JUDE: the onion breath is slightly off putting though, I'm sorry to say PENNY: please. you want my disgusting onion tongue all over you. JUDE: -laughs some more. him blush...- I'll just take your onion lips for now

JUDE: I mean

JUDE: if you're offering PENNY: lay claim to my onion lips Judy. JUDE: -fidgets, a wide smile spreading across his face before he leans in for an oniony, cream cheesy, and everything else kiss.- PENNY: -well, she's not sticking her tongue in his mouth. This is fine just the way it is.-

PENNY: -and when she pulls back again, she hums.- mmm…

PENNY: gross. -snrks and bites bagel again- JUDE: heh

JUDE: I should probably brush my teeth

JUDE: and shower... -wash off the stench of SEX-

JUDE: but also... -glances towards the door- I don't... think we should leave jane waiting much longer

JUDE: I'm worried

JUDE: about her just hanging around outside... JANE: -through the door- I'm perfectly fine, thank you!

PENNY: -snnerrrrk- well you heard the lady. why dont we just hop in real quick and hit the road? JUDE: -FROWNS AT THE DOOR.- mrrgg

JUDE: wait -we......... he's blushing again.-

JUDE: well

JUDE: okay PENNY: -MORE SNORTING- cmon. -gently slaps the side of his arm with the back of her hand and hops up, sauntering toward the bathroom door. She steps inside and does the curly finger beckon once again with two of her fingers, just her hand out of the doorway.- JUDE: -he has no CHOICE but to follow. he almost forgets to leave the bagel and coffee behind and has to turn around, but makes up for precious lost seconds by scurrying into the bathroom.- PENNY: -she's already peeling off her clothes, but when she sees him, she grins.- made you come with two fingers. JUDE: ... I can't believe I walked into that one -covers his face with his hand, but no, if he does that then he can't see her stripping, so he peeks through his fingers with another small smile before he starts undressing too. he's feeling nervous all over again, but he doesn't stop.- PENNY: literally though. -she's naked pretty quick, peering in to figure out this weird hotel shower and turn it on. There's not much ado and she hops right into the cold before it heats up.- HOO Jesus. JUDE: -too busy watching her nude form as she moves around while finally shimmying out of his boxers and pajama pants, when suddenly SHE HOOs and he jumps.- !

JUDE: ... I don't suppose it's cold PENNY: shut your ass. youre not allowed to mock my poor decisions. JUDE: oh okay -slides over to poke his head in. still pretty cold... but it doesn't actually bother him that much and he lifts his gangly self the rest of the way in.-

JUDE: I'll let them speak for themselves then PENNY: theyre saying Im gonna knock you out. -lathers herself with dinky little soap bar- JUDE: ... please don't

JUDE: I'm all sweaty and covered in lipstick -pushes his now wet hair out of his face- PENNY: not the only thing youre covered in. -side eyes him slyly and then casually presses soap to his chest. LATHER UP.- JUDE: -tiny grunt as he's soaped and lathered. his chest hairs are so sudsy.- oh JUDE: that feels nice PENNY: well Im glad someone can see the delight in hotel soap.

PENNY: its all worth it in the end isnt it Motel 6.

PENNY: hotel. motel. Holiday Inn. JUDE: ... -wtf. he's just laughing now, smoothing his hair back some more.-

JUDE: by the way... when we leave, I can drive for a while if you want

JUDE: I can indeed drive

JUDE: I just don't have a driver's license

JUDE: or any kind of identification…

PENNY: ... indeed.

PENNY: sounds legit.

PENNY: I mean thats about as legit as existing is right now so. sure. knock yourself out.

PENNY: but you better be ready to put the pedal to the metal if I say go.

PENNY: -She's looking at him seriously while soaping his buttcheeks.- JUDE: -don't touch his butt, he will blush even more. he's feeling like a chump just standing there, so he touches on her shoulders just for something to do with his hands.-

JUDE: ... I've got a little bit of a lead foot yeah

JUDE: you might not have noticed but I'm pretty jittery

JUDE: I'm darn likely to floor it at the slightest provocation PENNY: huh.

PENNY: youre making a pretty good case for you not having a license all of a sudden. JUDE: I mean

JUDE: ... well, sure

JUDE: that's not why though

JUDE: but that doesn't really matter -stroking her wet hair now. this is nice. if he were thinking about it, he'd wash it too, but he'd kind of gotten out of the habit of washing his own hair that frequently... whoops. oh well, they had to make this quick anyway.- PENNY: it sure doesnt does it?

PENNY: -Well she's gonna wash everything. Who knows when they'll get warm water next? It might be quick, but she's gonna savor it, finishing with him and turning around to finish soaping herself. PFFRTS water out of her mouth as she does this.- JUDE: -she PFFRTS.- …

JUDE: I think I could just watch you all day and it would never stop being interesting

JUDE: ... is that weird? I don't mean it in a weird way PENNY: its a little bit weird. -snort-

PENNY: but its also kind of sweet.

PENNY: now what do I do with myself?

PENNY: thanks. Im having a crisis.

PENNY: -turns around and squirts shampoo on his head- JUDE: ack-- -and then she squirt. she hoo, she pffrt... and now she squirt-

JUDE: oh

JUDE: you really showed me PENNY: -don't worry the real squirt's gonna take some effort to accomplish.- you aint seen nothin yet. -scrubs his head with gentle claw hands.- JUDE: -a challenge...- I do believe that to be true, yeah

JUDE: -smiling a little, he dips his head to give her better access for the scrubs- PENNY: -snorts again- youre gonna get soap in your eyes. JUDE: I'll be okay-- ow -gets soap in his eye-

JUDE: it's all good PENNY: hahaha at least close your eyes genius.

PENNY: -leans in and kisses his cheek- JUDE: -ah... cheek kisses fill him with warm fuzzy feelings.- but then I can't watch you

JUDE: though this isn't an ideal angle for that but still -tilts head up a little again, peeking through the curtain of hair that fell in his face.- PENNY: you dont need to watch me.

PENNY: you can touch me. JUDE: ... true -eyes fall half lidded as he moves his hands to her hips, carefully feeling up her sides.- PENNY: mmm.

PENNY: think I might miss this a little. JUDE: -that seems like a peculiar thing to say, but at the same time, probably not? it's not like he really expected any permanence from this but they could have kept pretending...-

JUDE: ah

JUDE: ... yeah

JUDE: I know I will

JUDE: ... but you can

JUDE: tag along with us as long as you want PENNY: what to your little bunker in Washington?

PENNY: pff Im sure youll get tired of me before then. JUDE: oh... I really doubt that PENNY: yeah well. how about we that offer again when its not the morning after. JUDE: -hearing that makes his heart sink. he can't imagine why she'd feel that way about herself, but he really doesn't know the first thing about her. except that she's adventurous and funny and sweet, and someone he'd like to get to know better if he had the chance. but maybe it would be better for both of them if he didn't.-

JUDE: -unsure of what to say, he grabs the little shampoo bottle and squirts it into her hair next. silently massaging her scalp like she's doing with his.- PENNY: -Something about his silence almost makes her feel... guilty? Especially when he follows it up with that. Why is she being the kind of bitch to ruin the one good thing she has right now? She's always that bitch.-

PENNY: -She's quiet for a long time, too, and then, finally, she sighs.-

PENNY: ... I dont think youre that bad.

PENNY: lets just have a good trip huh? JUDE: -nods slowly, a small smile managing to form.- yeah

JUDE: -seals that agreement by leaning in with a soft kiss.-

PENNY: mm... -That works for her. Better than working. At least, until she feels soap start to slip down her forehead, and she has to break it and tilt her head back with a sudden- shit. JUDE: wha-- oh

JUDE: whoops -now he's just grinning at her expense. A REAL NICE GUY.- PENNY: -GET THIS BITCH A FEDORA. She can't see his evil smirking though, because she's too busy sticking her head in the stream.-

PENNY: shut. JUDE: -THEN THEY PROCEEDED TO GET NICE AND CLEAN AND JUDE DROVE LIKE A MANIAC WHEN THEY GOT IN THE CAR FINALLY- PENNY: -thank god she wasn't the only one-

[euphobicgeotech]

-- euphobicGeotech [EG] began pestering gardylooTheroid [GT] at 21:38 --

EG: is this jamison?

GT: You bet your bananas it is!

GT: What can I do for you er.....

GT: Blast I don't believe I've shot the breeze with you!

EG: well

EG: you have

EG: but you wouldn't recognize my handle

EG: it's kind of new

EG: also it's just been a long time

GT: Oh cripes my apologies I can't seem to place your manner of speaking.

GT: "Speaking".

GT: Then again text is hard to read!

GT: It's grand to be making your reacquaintence however!

EG: yeah... you too

EG: ...

EG: I guess I should just rip this bandaid off

EG: it's jude

GT: I.. oh.

GT: What?

GT: .... I must admit I um, I'm rather at sorts with this information.

GT: On one hand I feel as if I'm being duped and played purely for the fool in which case I'm massively obligated to get darn friendly with your spinal cord!

GT: Well shucks that's positively 90% of what I'm feeling!

EG: that... that's exactly how I would expect you to react, honestly

EG: if I were in your shoes I would do the same

EG: except with less brawling probably...

EG: question the whole notion, is what I mean

EG: I have had to plenty, actually

EG: but I never actually believed you were

EG: dead

EG: and joey kept telling me to let it go, jude, let it go

EG: but I couldn't

EG: I couldn't let a lot of things go

EG: anyway if you need me to prove myself I can try

GT: You darn well better buster else wise you're in for a rude and crude awakening upon the horizon you possible fiend!

EG: I guess the best way to approach this would be to bring up something sentimental?

GT: What exactly do you think you've been doing? Why I'm no slipup and I'm most assuredly no easy-breezy chap when it comes to security but I know for a FACT I was. We were being. Observed.

GT: Your mysterious sentiments won't save your keister!

EG: ... yeah, that's fair too

EG: I really don't expect you to believe me, but... I also need your help

GT: Oh, is that so??? And what help would THAT be?

EG: I have something compromising on my possession

EG: it's a portal... cherub technology, I think

EG: and I have reason to believe that it provides a gateway from this universe to another one entirely

EG: I know I'm being followed... by crocker corp or alternians or someone... it's all the same, anyway

EG: I need to get this device someplace safe and I wanted to give it to you

GT: ....Well!

GT: Very well.

GT: As cheesed as I am I can't ignore this.

GT: Especially if we're to meet face to face and boy will I be ready!

EG: I really hope you don't cold clock me but I'm prepared for it anyway

GT: If you were who you say you are you needn't worry!

EG: right

EG: yeah

EG: um

EG: even if you don't believe it's me

EG: I'm still glad I got to talk to you again

-- gardylooTheroid [GT] is an idle chum! --

JAMISON: *It took only an hour miraculously enough. No one could have hoped to traverse the vastness of space at this speed but especially seeing where this FAKER was hanging his hat set Jamison's blood a boil. They thought he was far away, they thought he couldn't do anything well BOY WERE THEY WRONG*

JAMISON: *Ignoring the tugging in his chest at the mere mention of his dearly deceased babies Jamison doesn't lower thruster power in his space suit. He doesn't slow, fueled by the anger that someone would dare to play him for the fool like this. He happens very quickly upon his OWN NEPHEW'S house. THE NERVE.*

JAMISON: *Only shifting gears to turn his heel forward and crashing right through the front window in the dead of night* COME AND BRAWL ME YOU SMARMY COWARD! *The blunderbuss is OUT.*

JUDE: *ALARMS ARE SOUNDING, ENTRANCES ARE SEALING SHUT, all thanks to security measures james had put in. jude was pouring over some notes and information he had scavanged from home, also while feeding snacks to his bird babies, but suddenly papers and seeds and feathers are flying as jude and the pigeons alike scramble, startled by all the racket.*

JUDE: *but jude's guard has been up, he expected this to happen at some point, and when he hops to his feet, he too has a blunderbuss in hand. well, two in each, because they're blunderbuss pistols but-- REGARDLESS. he's aiming them at the threat.*

JUDE: YOU STAY THE FUCK BACK YOU-- you *what even IS that suit???* iron man...

JUDE: wait *the gun, the manner of speaking* ... dad?

JAMISON: HA-...o. oh... I. *No he wasn't really prepared for this. At all. He hadn't really entertained the thought so much that it might be but this face. That was an undeniable face. Jamison's hard aim falters as he lowers the gun then draws it back up* .....

JAMISON: *The front mask on the suit is lifted* I... Judenheimer?

JAMISON: The ole..... Rude Jude.....

JAMISON: *Well, he just.... feels weird now. Looking into the unmistakable eyes of his child and the blunderbusses' aim lowers once more* ...

JUDE: *what are you even supposed to do in a situation like this? as if jude wasn't socially awkward enough, he has to be thrown into scenarios such as HEARTFELT REUNIONS. his arms droop to his sides as he stares across the living room at his father with wide eyes, brow knitted, putting the guns away.*

JUDE: yeah that's... me

JUDE: jude the dude

JUDE: I...

JUDE: ...

JUDE: *glances around* how did you

JUDE: get here so fast...

JAMISON: *He's going back over the fact that he's here and in front of his son and said son is real and tangible and was alive and more or less well after all this time. It had been. Much too long since he'd last seen him, or his sister, or his mother. All of them. Were they all alive? Was Jude a lone survivor? If Jamison hadn't left that planet so quickly and so angrily with bitter memories could he have

JAMISON: been there for him?*

JAMISON: *There's no anger to distract him from the emotions this time. They were real and they were happening with the crosshair of the blunderbuss falling to the floor* .. My boy... *You better bet there are tears in his eyes, falling over his cheeks and even getting lost into his thick mustache.*

JAMISON: *Stepping forward the armored suit peels off him, several sheathed knives clatter out with his body and those strong arms CRUSH Jude into a hug against him* Land sake's-- you're.. my boy.

JUDE: *his expression softens seeing the state his father is in and it's enough to make his throat tighten with emotion.* geez, dad-- hrk *and then he's pulled into a crushing hug. he wheezes, but then he laughs a little, finding it funny how the tears seem to be squeezed out of him.*

JUDE: y... yeah... it's me *wraps his arms back around him, though lacking in the same strength jamison has to offer. he can, however, offer tiny pats to the back.*

JAMISON: *Tiny pats are for tiny animals and he is a LARGE bawling man Squeezing Jude tightly against him and leaning over him with a reddened face. Actually cracks his back maybe with the lovehug.* How on Earth... wha- SNRF. What happened?

JAMISON: Your mother.. your sis-ster. SNRF. What happened? Are you all alright? Are you alright?

JAMISON: *just so many questions and not even enough time for answers but fudge to it all this is his SON*

JUDE: we-- uh... hRK *wheezes everytime he's squeezed. but the back cracking feels nice. he is awfully knotted up from living in a cramped tree house for so long.* it's... it's a long story

JUDE: as you might imagine

JUDE: since it's been... I dunno... two decades?

JUDE: ... jeezy petes it really has been that long hasn't it

JUDE: *sighs* I'm okay... I-- I'm okay now

JUDE: But I don't... know where mom and joey are

JAMISON: *He'll calibrate you son! But he feels.... heavy hearted but at the same time he just pulls back to look his son in the eyes again and nods* I'm..-- snrf. Glad to have you here. Elated. *shoulder squeeze and finally starts to wipe his face fro all these GROSS EMOTIONS*

JAMISON: We'll ah, have to catch up and whatnot. All that time.... I'm sure its one doozy of a tale...

JAMISON: *Holding his shoulders for uncomfortably long and staring at him but suck it*

JUDE: *smiles softly at him during this awkward moment. uncomfortable, maybe, but in a way a parent tends to make a child feel, and that is much more comforting than not. he exhales, reaching up to pat his arm.* yeah... uh

JUDE: I guess you should make yourself at home

JUDE: since you're here

JUDE: somehow...

JUDE: still unsure on that one

JUDE: *pauses* do you want some cookies?

JUDE: jane baked us cookies

JUDE: ... did I mention I'm here with two other people?

JAMISON: Oh.... no. Er..... *removes hands and sideyes the busted window, rocket burns on the floors*

JAMISON: .......

JAMISON: I'll um.

JAMISON: Mend all that.

JUDE: y... *eyeballs it also* yeeeah

JUDE: ... *starts to snicker, then laughs in earnest at how ridiculous this all is.*

JUDE: I'm going to... grab those cookies

JAMISON: *The laughter is good, much better than feeling awkward after crying on his son's shoulder but.. .well darn to it. He's still on the high of Jude being alive. A high that he's sure won't wear out* Righto lad! Hah, we can do our exchange of tales then.

JUDE: *processing this is going to take some time, and the weight of it all will likely hit him later when he least expects it, but for now, he's content to enjoy the moment as it is. doing so was a luxury he didn't have for a very long time, so he intends to seize it while he can, and catch up with his goofy dad.*

[euphobicgeotech]

Keep reading

[euphobicgeotech]

10/08/2638 9:32pm

a lot has happened since my last journal entry

something activated the portal

and a girl passed through it... which was startling, to say the least... for both of us

her name is jane

jane crocker 

yes THE jane crocker, but not the same jane crocker that disappeared along with the umbral ultimatum over a year ago

instead a version of jane from a universe where there is “no war” as far as she knows

I guess I figured out what the device does, anyway: provides a gateway to another reality entirely

naturally I high tailed it the hell out of the manor, bringing the portal and jane with me... she has some questions of her own

we took off for washington, where james uses to live... I don’t think he’ll mind I’m using his place as a safe house? 

we hitched a ride with

a woman named penny

she is

... something else

anyway

we’ve set up shop here in washington... I got in contact with the uu thanks to jane’s connection with their private server... still trying to figure out how that happened

but regardless, it’s allowed me to ask them for help and... get in contact with certain people... er well

get their information

still working on... actually contacting them...

[euphobicgeotech]

PSA

If you’re not a cryptid then 👏 don’t 👏 be 👏 creepin’ 👏 in 👏 my 👏 woods 👏

[euphobicgeotech]

An opal ammonite fossil.

[euphobicgeotech]

[euphobicgeotech]

-- euphobicGeotech [EG] began pestering robynSaint [RS] at 22:00 --

EG: is this THE robyn saint or is it just a handle?

EG: because I'm really interested to know what robyn saint is doing on a secret frequency for the uu

EG: like genuinely

RS: who's asking?

EG: oh

RS: nobody's supposed to get into this thing.

EG: right

EG: sorry

EG: I got ahead of myself

RS: you sure did.

EG: I'm mostly checking to make sure I can maintain a connection with anyone on this server

EG: to be honest I'm not sure how I'm able to contact you

EG: but I'm trying to figure it out

EG: anyway, I'm jude

RS: we happen to be maintaining a connection so far, so--

RS: hold up

RS: i'm clearing my throat by the way.

RS: hey jude.

RS: don't make it bad.

RS: take a sad song, and make it better.

RS: remember, to let her into your heart.

RS: (or him, i don't know your life.)

RS: then you can start to make it better.

RS: hey jude...

RS: don't be afraid.

RS: you were made to go out and get her. (or him)

RS: the minute you let her under your skin.

RS: then you begin.

RS: to make it.

RS: better.

RS: and anytime you feel the pain, hey jude, refrain.

RS: don't carry the world upon your shoulders.

EG: thanks

RS: for well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool.

EG: okay I get it

RS: by making his world a little colder.

RS: i'm not done yet.

EG: can you be done?

RS: nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah!

RS: HEY JUDE.

EG: okay...

RS: DON'T LET ME DOWN.

RS: YOU HAVE FOUND HER, NOW GO AND GET HER. (or him)

RS: remember to let her into your heart.

RS: then you can start.

RS: to make it.

RS: better.

EG: huh

EG: that's...

RS: shhh.

RS: so let it out and let it in, hey jude, begin.

EG: you know I haven't thought much about the lyrics to that song in a while

RS: you're wawiting for someone to PERFORM WITH.

RS: AND DON'T YOU KNOW THAT IT'S JUST YOU, HEY JUDE, YOU'LL DO.

RS: the movement you need is on your shoulder.

RS: nahnahnahnahnahnahnahyeah!

RS: YO JUDE.

RS: don't make it bad.

RS: take a sad song, and make it better.

RS: remember to let her under your skin.

RS: then you'll begin to make it.

RS: better.

RS: BETTER.

RS: BETTER.

RS: BETTER.

RS: BETTER.

RS: BETTER.

RS: BETTER.

RS: OH!

EG: ok I'm just gonna ignore this window until you're done

RS: NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH.

RS: NAH NAH NAH. HEY JUUUUUUDE.

RS: okay i'm done.

RS: had to get that out of my system.

EG: understandable?

RS: understandable.

RS: easily.

RS: i also feel like this is something i should be reporting.

EG: wait, no

RS: and talking to you is probably not a good idea. because you, jude, could be one of those hacker people.

EG: well... I mean, ideally I do want your... captain? to speak with me

EG: uhh which one of you is this... on the roster...

EG: I only have handles

EG: I don't know who anyone is

RS: ohhhhh. you want my son.

RS: okay.

RS: so.

RS: i'll have you know he's happily married.

RS: 2/2 positions are filled.

RS: also i probably need to interrogate you or some shit if you want to talk to him.

EG: ...

EG: no

RS: what are your intentions with my son? have him home by ten.

EG: no no oh my god

EG: I'm sure he's great

RS: or i will find you.

RS: and i will kill you.

EG: nO LISTEN

RS: haha, nah. just kidding.

EG: I'm trying to get in contact with the uu because I have important information to share... and technology I'm trying to keep from

EG: well

EG: from people who shouldn't have it

RS: ooh, that sounds right up our alley.

RS: let me know i can trust you.

RS: give me your social security number.

EG: I don't have one anymore

EG: I erased all my personal information off the grid

EG: legally I don't exist

RS: oooh. nice.

RS: are you a catfish?

RS: cuz i'm also married.

RS: technically.

EG: I don't really care about the technicalities of your marital status

EG: um

EG: because I'm not catfishing

RS: jesus.

EG: not because I don't see it as an obstacle

EG: or something

RS: forward aren't you.

RS: catfish don't see anything as an obstacle.

RS: but whatever.

EG: that's not

EG: you know what nevermind

RS: dirk's handle is technetronicTactician.

EG: oh

EG: I retract that nevermind

EG: thank you

RS: also yeah, i'm robyn saint blah blah blah.

EG: really?

EG: how did you get there?

RS: call me roly or something. neither of which is my real name.

RS: i don't really care that you know because no one's going to believe you if you tell them where i am.

RS: let's see...to make a long story short.

RS: if your ex invites you out in the middle of fucking nowhere to join him and your sons on a ship and you agree because it's a vacation...

RS: news flash: it ain't a vacation.

RS: also surprise you're knocked up.

EG: oh

EG: yeah that would be quite a surprise to me

RS: especially in the case that you don't have a uterus.

EG: I don't, incidentally

RS: good to know, good to know.

RS: so... where are you again?

EG: earth

RS: no shit?

RS: where on earth? isn't that place like...fucked up by now?

EG: to say the least

EG: after a very

EG: eventful

EG: roadtrip

EG: I ended up in washington

EG: wait

RS: washington? wow. at least you're not in texas.

RS: wait.

EG: do you know a james egbert?

RS: uh, yeah.

EG: is he there too???

RS: yep.

RS: good friend of me and my dude.

EG: I KNEW it

EG: oh

EG: he's my cousin

RS: WHAT?

RS: oh fucking.

RS: wow.

EG: I would say small universe but it's clearly no coincidence that we've all come together like this

RS: oh fun fact you don't need to know about me but i'll tell you anyway because it has to do with james.

RS: he's the ex lover of my ex girlfriend, too.

RS: i don't know what the fuck it is to be honest.

EG: really...

EG: hmm

RS: what are you contemplating exactly?

EG: this intricate web of interpersonal connections

RS: it's so fucked up.

RS: sometimes it's convenient and sometimes i hate it.

EG: it all has to mean something

RS: ehhh.

RS: i think sometimes shitty things happen and sometimes they get better and sometimes they get shitty again and sometimes they get better again.

RS: one of the better things being...

RS: this song i just recorded for you in honor of this happenstance.

-- robynSaint [RS] sent file heyjude4jude.mp3 --

EG: oh... thank you

EG: that's very

EG: kind of you

RS: i know you wanted to immortalize it.

RS: i wouldn't say kind so much as...self-absorbed.

RS: who the fuck gifts someone else their own music?

RS: an asshole, that's who.

RS: that's me.

EG: I... doubt that very much

RS: i'd expand on that but funny enough james would kill me.

RS: so i cian't.

RS: can't*

RS: and by kill i mean drown me in tea and life lessons.

RS: i can tell you i'm almost a decent person.

RS: that's positive.

RS: mostly.

EG: oh

EG: yes

EG: you definitely know him, then

RS: he's a good guy.

RS: probably the best person i've ever met.

EG: everyone is on that side of the family

EG: for the most part

RS: you know...my other son, dave. he worked at skaianet with him. james mentored him. parented i guess when i didn't.

RS: when i couldn't.

EG: oh

EG: I'm sorry to hear that

EG: also as the son of an absentee and/or estranged parent

RS: i'm shrugging right now, just so you know.

RS: oh.

RS: i'm sorry.

EG: yeah

EG: anyway this got awkward fast

RS: can i go back to singing to you?

RS: all you need is loveeeeeee.

RS: all you need is lo-ove.

RS: LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED.

EG: oh

EG: this is fine

RS: good. i'm glad you're content.

RS: so, you getting out of washington any time soon?

EG: that depends on whether or not the uu is coming here, and when

RS: oooh. man. haven't been to earth in what feels like forever.

EG: I want to say that's a good thing, but then I remembered the precarious position you're in, and I can't imagine it's any better

RS: constant excitement, let me tell you.

EG: is that

EG: a good thing?

RS: good and bad.

RS: i'm never bored.

RS: actually, that's a lie.

RS: i get bored all the time.

RS: how about... i am never not worried about our lives.

EG: that's reasonable

RS: are you ever bored?

EG: sure, sometimes

RS: even with all that shit going on?

EG: the moments are pretty fleeting

EG: because I then remind myself of everything I have to be afraid of

EG: and that keeps me on my toes

RS: touche.

RS: well.

RS: i don't know you at all, but...

RS: hey.

RS: i'm glad you're alive.

RS: are you alone?

EG: oh

EG: no

EG: not anymore

RS: found somebody?

EG: more like

EG: somebody found me

RS: is that literally what happened or is it supposed to be poetic?

EG: both maybe?

EG: yeah

EG: both

RS: romance got anything to do with it?

RS: not much else people try to be poetic about.

EG: um

EG: I'm not sure what it is

RS: fair enough. i get you.

RS: hey, as long as you're safe and as happy as you can be in this kind of situation.

EG: that's

EG: very nice of you to say

EG: I'm not sure why you referred to yourself as an asshole earlier

RS: honey, that's because you only know me from this conversation.

RS: i'm not going to wish that you're unsafe and miserable. that would make me like...an anaconda that wants to eat you.

EG: you didn't have to wish me... anything

EG: maybe I'm overthinking it

EG: I tend to do that

RS: i can tell.

RS: but you know what?

RS: i think we need overthinkers.

RS: to make up for all the people that don't think enough and do stupid shit.

RS: it's a good balance.

RS: both me and my guy overthink when we shouldn't and underthink(?) when we shouldn't. we're fucked either way. not sure if that's a balance or just moving a boulder from one scale to another.

EG: well

EG: whatever works, right?

RS: damn right.

RS: so fucking right.

EG: heh

EG: uh

EG: anyway I'm going to go contact your captain son

RS: alright, have fun jude.

RS: stay safe.

EG: thanks? I mean I'll try to stay safe

EG: and I'll probably have fun

EG: ...

EG: anyway

EG: goodbye

-- euphobicGeotech [EG] ceased pestering robynSaint [RS] at 23:48 --

[euphobicgeotech]

-- euphobicGeotech [EG] began pestering tenebrousThorns [TT] at 21:54 --

EG: is this

EG: rose?

TT: There's a non-zero chance it could be.

TT: That would, of course, depend on who's the one asking.

EG: jude harley

EG: jane mentioned me, right?

TT: Oh, yes.

TT: I was actually expecting this.

TT: Not in any preternatural sort of way, mind you, I'd just assumed you'd be curious.

TT: As was I, but without the presence of mind to ask for contact information.

EG: that's alright, it's better this way

EG: also

EG: um

EG: just wondering but are you assuming that I would assume you had some kind of vision about my contacting you?

TT: That's a bizarre question to ask.

EG: I know

TT: I would much prefer to keep this conversation moving at a decent clip than entertain such an absurd notion.

TT: I suppose I'm just curious.

TT: Now that there is officially another Harley somewhere on the map.

EG: sorry, I have a tendency to zone in on absurd notions rather than... well, basically anything else

EG: what are you curious about exactly? I can probably spare some details

TT: What relation to the family?

EG: I'm jamison harley's son

TT: Ah.

TT: Yes, I knew that already, having asked Jane.

TT: I've just got a difficult time actually processing that as a thing that's true.

TT: Just curious here, but you are the sort of son that's born from a human being, right?

EG: you mean...

EG: I'm not a clone?

EG: because no, I am not

TT: I'm having a hard time accepting that right now.

TT: But alright.

EG: well, that's perfectly reasonable if you ask me

EG: but I am his child, through his marriage to azura claire

TT: He's been married?

EG: yes

EG: which

EG: may be the most shocking thing you've heard to date, I know

TT: Two people who are married having a child together? It is very nearly disturbing.

TT: I do apologize. I can't imagine the sort of trauma you've endured with this home life.

EG: thank you

EG: I have a sister, too, but I can't tell you the status of any other my family members

EG: aside from the ones you already know

EG: who are apparently there

EG: like I THOUGHT they would be

TT: They are. You have both a neice and a grandneice.

TT: I think?

TT: I am not actually sure from whose genetic stock Jade comes from.

TT: Maybe she is more like a sister.

EG: jade... yeah

EG: a half-sister

EG: but I doubt she'd know me

TT: No...

TT: I suppose not.

EG: oh

EG: wait

TT: It's more common than you'd think. Frankly, just be glad your family tree isn't half as gnarled and twisted as it's been made by her marriage.

EG: ...

EG: I see

TT: Surprise.

TT: I believe I forgot to wait.

TT: What am I awaiting?

EG: it's alright... I was going to ask about this extended family

EG: but if I do end up there

EG: before crocker corp finds me

EG: I guess I'll see for myself

TT: What is your present situation, anyways?

EG: I'm hiding out at my cousin's house in washington

EG: my sources say you might know him too

EG: my sources being indie music star robyn saint

EG: not sure how reliable she is

EG: anyway

EG: my cousin is james egbert?

EG: is it true that he's there?

TT: Well, she's a bit flaky.

EG: she wrote out the entirety of hey jude at me

EG: :/

TT: Yes.

TT: but I have no reason to doubt anything she tells you outside of beatles lyrics.

EG: that's good to know

TT: And he is indeed here. As is his son. We're rather close.

TT: You'll find that this whole thing tends to run along family lines. I suppose it's genetic.

EG: genetic... or preconceived?

EG: I was just talking to ms. saint about this

EG: is it really a coincidence that we're all connected in the ways that we are? I find it hard to believe

TT: You are young yet, and you have much to learn about the abstract bullshit that governs the delicate golden threads of fate.

TT: The great cosmic loom weaves a beautiful tapestry of a man with his pants down.

TT: It is tragic and beautiful.

EG: ...

EG: do you know things about the abstract bullshit that governs the delicate golden threads of fate?

EG: aside from the comical physical form it apparently takes

TT: Yes.

TT: Inherent to every choice you make, there is a sacrifice.

TT: And regardless of the life she leads, the spider wonders what could have been.

TT: Incidentally, the universe runs almost entirely on koans.

TT: Pretty much all the way down.

TT: The lack of unifying theory is due only to the inability to quantify one hand clapping.

TT: But if we could, we'd probably have to write it off as being kind of bullshit.

EG: sorry for the pause I was taking notes

TT: Thank goodness someone is.

EG: I'm pretty sure you're screwing with me but it doesn't hurt to document these things

TT: I can, but that is not mutually exclusive with imparting wisdom.

EG: ... hmm

EG: I'll make note of that too

EG: by the way

EG: how can I get in touch with

EG: well

EG: all of my family there?

TT: They're on here, if that's what you mean.

EG: yes, sorry

EG: contact information

TT: Sure.

TT: I'll send you the list.

EG: thank you

-- tenebrousThorns [TT] sent file ContactInformation.TXT --

TT: You can share it with Jane if you like. I'm assuming you're just picking these names off a list, like she did.

EG: yeah, that's accurate

EG: I'll pass it along

EG: and I guess brace myself to speak with my father for the first time in um

EG: hmm

EG: well

EG: a long time

TT: I've been there before.

TT: More or less.

TT: Good luck.

EG: thanks

EG: again

EG: goodbye rose

-- euphobicGeotech [EG] ceased pestering tenebrousThorns [TT] at 23:11 --

[euphobicgeotech]

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