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Don’t like that

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Burger Explained

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Julius Caesar: married three times, at least three notable mistresses (i.e., whose names we know), and infamous philanderer

Marc Antony: married at least three times and father of at least eight (possibly more) children with four different women; also a known womanizer

Cleopatra: two nominal, unconsummated marriages (to her prepubescent half-brothers) and two known lovers

everyone for the last 2000 years: Cleopatra slept with anything that moved!!! Cleopatra SEDUCED Caesar and Antony (and anyone else she wanted/thought would benefit her)!

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my favorite part of Roman philosophy is the times (yes times there are multiple) when Cicero goes over theories of what makes up the universe, and he goes through them all in detail discussing the history, pros & cons, etc, and then is like “you may have noticed I’ve omitted the theory of atoms, WELL, that’s because it’s so clearly wrong I don’t even need to refute it”. and like you have to appreciate the boldness, his heart was in it 100%, not his fault that’s a stupid thing to say

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coffee (n.)

a warm, delicious alternative to hating everybody every morning forever

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Writers, keep in mind that one person’s boring is another person’s perfectly written

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Wizards Have Always Perfect Timing

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you know how the les mis fandom is like, the master of making canonically unrelated characters siblings? enjolras and cosette being the most popular example?

here is my proposal:

combeferre and grantaire as brothers

maybe even non-identical twins, wow!

imagine, combeferre as the quiet, book-smart, always-clean-and-tidy brother who does well at school and is going to be a doctor, and people are always cooing about how proud his parents must be - and his parents know fine well that behind his polite exterior he is and always has been a tINY ANARCHIST but there’s really no need to let the neighbours know that

and grantaire as the tearaway artsy brother who is no less smart but always feels like he is because so many people find it easier to understand and praise combeferre’s type of smart, and he’s always covered in paint or mud or spaghetti sauce or SOMETHING, and when he’s a teenager he starts sneaking drinks and sneaking out to rock concerts at night while combeferre stays at home studying

and they’re so different, right down to combeferre’s hope for the future and grantaire’s gloomy cynicism, but that doesn’t stop them from being BEST BROS

like when they’re small, and grantaire prefers to learn by exploring than by reading, so he’ll drag combeferre away from his books and they’ll find which is the best kind of tree for climbing and fish with nets in ponds to find out what lives in there and camp out in their garden at night to look up at the stars

and it’s combeferre who first sparks grantaire’s interest in classic mythology, because while it wouldn’t occur to grantaire to go looking for a book on his own initiative, he’ll happily do it if it’s on a topic that combeferre has already gushed to him about and that he thinks sounds cool

and they always have each other’s backs and think the other’s talents are awesome and combeferre hates it that he always gets more awards and recognition at school because HIS BROTHER IS A GENIUS, HE CAN TAKE A LUMP OF CLAY AND MAKE A BIRD THAT LOOKS LIKE IT’S GOING TO FLY RIGHT OUT OF HIS HAND

and and wow it adds a whole new dimension to exR shipping

imagine enjolras and combeferre meeting at university and becoming fast friends

imagine enjolras expecting combeferre’s twin brother to be another kindred spirit

IMAGINE THE ENSUING CHAOS AND FIGHTS (except they can’t really fight because combeferre loves them both and they don’t want to upset him aaagh!) AND SEXUAL TENSION AND YEEEAAAAAAH

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Schrodinger’s Douchebag is someone who makes hurtful or bigoted statements but only decides whether they were “just kidding” or dead serious based on how negatively or positively their audience reacted.

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intrusive thoughts are created because they’re what you fear the most. they’re not what you’re going to do. they’re what you hate most of all. 

they’re not an indication of how evil you are. the only thing they indicate is what you’re most against. 

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why the bleeding hell would you choose “Miles shoplifts art supplies” when “Miles rolls up to the checkout counter fully suited-up like ‘hi im Spiderman and I’d like to buy these 180 markers please here’s my allowance- I mean my paycheck from my adult grownup job’” is infinitely cuter and funnier and also not racist

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Animal snaps

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meirl

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#WHATADAD

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spot: you wanna know your gay name?

race: my gay name?

spot: it’s your first name…

race: oh, i get it!

spot, getting down on one knee and pulling a ring out of his pocket: … and my last name