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eva-sparda20 · 5 days

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Sacred Shores

Characters: AK!Jason Todd x OC - Lydia Spencer Word count: 3,000 Commission for @gomjabbars. Based on this absolutely beautiful and insanely cute fanart my talented friend Mikki made of Jason and my OC back in 2018. "You are a garden, entwined with all / you are the silence on sacred shores / you've got diamonds for teeth, my love" (x)

There is something to be said about the power of water. Its compelling nature; its undertow fierce and unrelenting. Much like Gotham. The city was plagued with a force as strong as any ocean’s tide, and if you weren’t careful, you’d get sucked in. Yanked away from safety and cast out into a seemingly endless void, lethal in its ability to tug you beneath its surface. Jason and Lydia had spent their entire lives feeling as if they were drowning, thrashing against its currents with as much fervor as its downward pull, unyielding in their efforts to fight the inevitable. Surrounded by those unable to keep their heads above water – those who drowned despite their best efforts to make it back to shore, too tired from their many failed attempts – they were determined to not meet the same fate.

It was when they met each other that they finally felt themselves come up for air. In each other, they found the safety they had been deprived of. They could still feel the pull of Gotham’s tides, but together, they were able to guide each other closer to the shoreline.

After they met at Gotham Academy, they would often sneak off campus together and take a bus into the city. They’d peruse shops without any intention of buying anything and would occasionally pester Bruce by visiting Wayne Tower. Though no matter how they chose to spend their time, these trips always ended at the same place – a particular bench on Founder’s Island, right on the water. There they would sit, looking out past the bulkhead, enjoying the shimmering lights of the buildings and traffic across the bay. There was something soothing about it. Despite the chaos of the city at their backs, they found themselves calmed by the stillness of the waters ahead and the deceitfully picturesque view of a place so abysmal.

They would sit there and talk for hours. They’d commiserate about school, they’d find comfort and understanding from stories about each other’s pasts, and they’d talk about the future. Their future. It was in this spot that they got to know each other; where, with each visit, they fell a little bit more in love. It was here that they felt less alone – where the grip Gotham held on them weakened just enough for them to catch their breath.

But as is typical of getting caught in a strong current, their reprieve was fleeting. Jason went missing, and Lydia once again felt herself fighting against Gotham’s tides with newfound conviction in the absence of anyone else to help her. As did Jason, for a while.

Alone, Lydia still found herself going to their spot. Every time she’d wish Jason was there with her. That she could see his smile, hear the confidence in his voice. Instead, she was only greeted with their favorite view, its scenery and the sound of the water that bridged the way between islands now taking on a new meaning in Jason’s absence. It was far more somber now, though somehow, still provided comfort. Whenever Lydia gazed upon the lights in the distance, she would think to herself how Jason had to be out there, somewhere.

Fortunately for her, he was. She received word that he was dead – murdered by the Joker after months of torture. She had seen the tapes – she demanded to – and the horror of what she had witnessed haunted her every step thereafter. Gotham’s grip was tight and dragged Jason somewhere far beyond her reach before pulling him under and swallowing him up entirely.

Though in an unexpected turn of events, it managed to let him wash back up. Battered and bruised by the vicious nature of the city’s relentless tidal flow, he came back different, deeply changed by his suffering. He saw himself as being unable to be fixed – damaged both inside and out in a way that made him question what was left for Lydia to love. There was so much to him to appreciate, and Lydia was often saddened by his inability to see that for himself.

It had been years since Jason’s abduction, years since they had gotten back together, though the impact that Joker’s torture had on him was inescapable. He was plagued with memories of what had been done to him. Unspeakable things that left his body littered with scars, each with their own respective memory attached to them. To Jason, they were a reminder – of everything he hated about that time in his life, and everything he hated about himself.

But to Lydia, he was like a piece of sea glass. Broken against his will, fragments displaced and lost to the infinite void that had torn them apart. His edges once jagged, cutting anyone who dared to touch him. For years he violently tumbled through the currents, completely adrift, though over time he softened. Despite it all, he had developed a new form. He was still broken, but he did not need to come back whole to be beautiful. His return in and of itself was miraculous, and that was something to cherish.

Lydia sat on a balcony, facing the long stretch of beach that basically met the backside of the hotel she and Jason were currently staying at. She found herself waiting for Jason to get back from a self-proclaimed scavenger hunt for snacks and drinks for their hotel room.

She and Jason had been dating for years and had come to the sudden realization that, in that time, they had never once gone on a vacation together. Lydia had bugged Jason to drive far outside the Gotham city limits in the pursuit of fall festivities before, but that was the furthest they had ever gone together. Both growing up in poverty, they hardly thought about things that, by their standards, could easily be considered to be extravagant. Though pumpkin picking was hardly a suitable substitute for an extended stay anywhere outside the city. They had ultimately decided on someplace sunny, someplace with palm trees. Lydia wanted an excuse to buy a cute bathing suit; Jason joked about becoming irresistible after developing a tan.

The idea excited them, as did the reality of it. Neither she or Jason had ever really seen the ocean before. Not like this. Not how it was meant to be viewed, with crystalline blue waters, in a place where you were enveloped by the warmth of the sun in a way that felt invigorating. It was refreshing to get away from Gotham and its gloomy weather that hardly seemed to let up – to a place that was new, where reminders of their problems and pasts would not follow.

Golden hair all pulled towards one shoulder, Lydia twirled a chunk she had separated from the rest as she focused on the book she was reading, letting it fall back to her shoulder every time she needed to turn a page. She suddenly heard the sliding glass door behind her slide open and closed and quickly dog-eared the page she was on before gently closing her book. She looked up to see Jason with a look of undeniable disgust on his face that was quickly replaced with a smile. “Ugh, you know I hate it when you do that,” he said, faking a shudder.

Lydia smirked, tilting her head teasingly. “Why do you think I keep doing it?” she joked. “A few bent pages never hurt anybody.”

Jason lovingly shook his head, knowing that this reoccurring playful debate only ever ended with futility. At this point, it was practically a staple of their relationship. “Tell that to Alfred. He’d back me up here.”

Lydia laughed and placed the book on the small outdoor coffee table in front of her, taking notice of the plastic bags in Jason’s one hand. She also took notice of the way his shirt was unbuttoned. It was hard to keep her eyes from lingering on the cheesy Hawaiian button-down he was wearing. “You get anything good?”

Jason took the seat beside her and placed the bags on his lap. “Oh yeah.” He enthusiastically pried them open one at a time so that Lydia could get a look at what was inside. She immediately took note of the fact that he made sure to buy things he knew to be her favorite. He was always so considerate, seemingly retaining every bit of information she had ever shared about herself with him. Jason always felt she seemed to do the same, too.

“Wow, you weren’t kidding,” Lydia said in exaggerated amazement as she leaned back in her seat.

Jason, however, hunched forward, as if he were ready to spring out of his seat at any moment. “So… you ready to head down to the beach?” There was an endearing eagerness to his tone, like a giddy little kid. If he could have launch himself off the balcony and sprint across the sands to the water, he would. He actually could, and was showing a great deal of restraint, Lydia thought.

Lydia smiled warmly, and with a ‘yeah, let’s go,’ they placed their newly acquired snacks in their hotel room, grabbed their things, and made their way down to the beach.

They staked out a spot a reasonable distance away from any other beach-goers, unfolding the chairs that Jason courteously carried down with them. Once they were set up, Lydia adorned the sun hat she had bought specifically for this trip – white, to match her bikini and bathing suit cover, as well as the rims of her sunglasses. She noticed the way Jason eyed her as she practically let herself flop backwards into one of the beach chairs and raised an eyebrow, letting out a small laugh. “What?”

Jason almost looked flustered. “It’s just— you look really beautiful,” he complimented.

Lydia smiled widely and her eyes crinkled in the way they always did when her smile was big enough – in a way that made it look like her eyes were smiling, too. Jason loved it. “Oh,” she started, almost sheepish in her response, reciprocating Jason’s near-awkwardness. She once again pulled her hair to one side. “Thanks. You look pretty handsome yourself.”

She couldn’t help but briefly look Jason up and down, admiring the sight of him. The way his hair was messily pushed back away from his face, a pair of aviator sunglasses perched atop the bridge of his nose that complimented his face extremely well, the stereotypical vacation outfit she wasn’t entirely sure he was wearing ironically or not. There was something about it all, something special.

There was something compelling about their appearances that they both took notice of. In that moment, they both found themselves completely enamored with each other, awe-stricken in a way that made it look like they were falling in love with each other all over again. As if they were admiring the other’s appearance for the very first time. Neither of them were aware of why they were so entranced – whether it was the way their features were emphasized in the sunlight, the glow of their skin in the warm natural light, or the way they were dressed. Though ultimately it was the culmination of it all, combined with an underlying appreciation for this completely new situation they found themselves in. They both radiated happiness and excitement, and the other adoringly picked up on it.

Lydia knew Jason never believed her when she complimented his appearance, but that was never going to stop her from doing so. He needed to hear it – needed the affirmation that someone adored every part of him, regardless of the parts of himself that he hated.

Though as Jason peeled off his shirt to prepare to make his way over to the water, she was reminded of why he held such insecurities. He revealed the array of scars that littered his torso and back. Where surgical tools dug into his flesh. Where his skin simply busted open from the harsh impact of a crowbar. Scars caused by barbed wire burrowing into his skin every time he dared to put up a fight, dared to flinch, dared to sleep. Punishments dealt out to him just because of his existence. Just because he was there.

At first, it was hard to look at them, knowing what they meant. Each time Lydia was reminded of the gruesome tapes that captured his torture, but over time, she saw them as a testament of his strength. His tenacity, his bravery. In the end, they were representative of his survival. She had to learn to love them, to appreciate them, to make up for Jason’s inability to do so himself.

Though over time he had gotten better at fighting off his worst thoughts. Their relationship brought him calm, stability, consistency, and it was through these things that he found the strength to battle the most aggressive parts of himself. His improvement was clear in the way he smiled – a silent means of accepting Lydia’s compliment. Even when they were younger, Jason was never the type to gracefully accept a compliment without getting bashful over it, and the way he would smile then was exactly the same as how he did so now. Lydia felt her heart flutter as she took note of the unknowing innocence of it.

Jason draped his shirt over the back of the chair beside Lydia’s, a hint of concern clear in the way his brow then furrowed slightly. “You’re not coming?”

Lydia reached into her bag and pulled out the book she was reading earlier, flipping open to the page she had dog-eared to Jason’s dismay. “I’m good. Maybe later,” she replied.

Jason shrugged and removed his sunglasses, placing them on the seat of the same chair where he had placed his shirt. “Suit yourself. I’ll be back,” he said casually.

The casual affirmation of his return seemed almost poetic. “I’m sure you will be,” Lydia replied.

She lovingly watched as Jason made his way to the water before returning her eyes to her book. The repeated sound of small waves cashing along the shore was soothing to her in a way that made it easy for her to become completely engrossed in the words on the pages. She almost didn’t notice Jason coming back from his swim a while later.

He approached their spot with a quick “hey”; thick strands of wet hair falling forward into his face that he quickly pushed back. Lydia’s eyes lingered on his body, appreciating the way beads of water slid down his skin. Jason caught her and smirked devilishly, though said nothing as he put his sunglasses back on and took the seat beside her.

He reached into Lydia’s bag and pulled out a book of his own and once again found himself grimacing as he noticed Lydia dog-earing another page of her’s as she finished her current chapter and focused her attention on her phone.

She gave Jason the courtesy of silence, allowing him to become as engrossed in his book as she just was with her’s, only occasionally showing him things she thought would garner his interest as she came across them. Both of them were chatty by nature, Lydia especially, but they both knew how to value each other’s presence without the constant need to talk. There was a level of comfort that existed between them – both with themselves and with each other – that they could simply exist alongside each other, without any obligation to entertain the other. Just being together was always enough – a precious gift they would never dare to take for granted.

However, Jason would have to endure a slightly longer interruption as Lydia desperately wanted to capture this moment they shared together. Especially when Jason looked so good.

“Hey, Jay,” she said, suddenly looking up from her phone and tearing Jason away from his book.

Jason looked up to find her with her cellphone held out in front of her, its front-facing camera pointed in their direction. With no further words spoken or necessary, they both struck a goofy pose, capturing the start of their vacation in a way that perfectly encapsulated their personalities.

Lydia took a moment to look at it, smiling wide as she did so. “Aw, it turned out so cute! Look,” she said enthusiastically, leaning over to show Jason the result.

Jason leaned closer to her, using his hand to create shade over the phone screen to get a better look. A tender smile crept onto his face and he let out a small laugh, looking up at Lydia as sat back in his chair. “That’s a good one. I like it.”

His words were so casual, so calm, and yet they struck Lydia in a way she didn’t entirely expect. His voice radiated joy – a level of contentment that mirrored her own.

This wasn’t the first time she had felt this distinct type of happiness alongside him, but it was the realization of the extent of it that had suddenly dawned on her. Despite everything, they had built a life together. Here they sat, enveloped in a warmth reminiscent of that which they provided each other. That which was reflected in the photo that she now held in her hand. There was a sense of simplicity to it all – a level of carefree calm that once felt unattainable to them.

She looked out at the waves crashing on the shore; the ebb and flow of the ocean’s tide powerful but soothing — its rhythmic nature providing both her and Jason with a sense of ease. They sat distant, from the safety of sands far from the current, far from Gotham. They basked in a kind of warmth they had never known to exist, enjoying the benefits of being dry. Together, they appreciated the vast force of nature before them, taking comfort in the stability beneath where they sat. It was in that moment that Lydia realized… finally, they had stopped thrashing. At last, they had made it to shore.

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eva-sparda20 · 5 days

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26. "You're allowed to need help."

Touchstone

Pairing: Arkhamverse Jason Todd x GN reader Word count: 1,820 This was way longer than I initially anticipated and idk how I feel about it but here it is regardless. ✨

You couldn’t tell him. Not yet. The words sat at the tip of your tongue and you itched to free them from your lips, but just as you could feel yourself about to speak them, they retreated. So you sat there, resigning yourself to silence instead. There was a harshness to the words you knew needed release, a bluntness to them that you wanted to spare him from. You wanted to protect him. Though you knew this lack of admission was more a way of enabling him. You knew that offering support was not always going to be easy, for either of you.

He tried to hide so much from you. So much of himself. The evidence of the damage done to him was etched all over his body, that much was obvious, but you also knew how this damage was just as thoroughly etched into his very being. You saw it in the way he carried himself. You saw it in the way he became uneasy anytime you came up behind him. You saw it when he’d wake up in the middle of the night, rising with a jolt, sweating and winded. In the times when you could see your that neither your touch or your words provided any comfort, fear evident in his eyes after a flashback. Every time he was distant, every time he couldn’t sleep. You always knew. But it was easier to allow him to believe that he could hide it all; that he was okay – to grant him the privilege of having that control. To allow him to feel normal. After all he had been through, he deserved at least that.

He was faced with a grim reminder of what he had endured every time he looked in the mirror. The memory seared into his skin. He was reminded with every ache, every pain that continued long after his injuries had healed. With every insidious thought that plagued his mind, whether he was awake or asleep. Ceaseless memories that haunted him, tearing at the fragments of his true self he was so desperately trying to preserve. He knew he was different – irrevocably changed by inconceivable suffering – though he desperately clung to the concept of maintaining normalcy. It was the one thing he longed for above all else. He needed to feel normal, at least when he was with you. Who were you to deny him that?

How could you tell him what you heard the night before? Poorly stifled cries coming from the bathroom, loud enough to be audible despite the door being closed. You weren’t sure of what had happened prior, only having woken up to the lack of his presence beside you. You almost hoped it was a nightmare, as that almost seemed better than the potentiality of him losing his composure after struggling to maintain a front for so long – finally collapsing from the pressure he had placed upon himself, while you sat idly by and enabled him to do so. He didn’t have to carry this burden alone anymore, and yet he defaulted to doing so. Your chest tightened as you thought about the desperation in his cries, something between pity and guilt gnawing away at you. You couldn’t stand the dissonance anymore. You needed to have this conversation, despite the discomfort that would surely follow.

You looked over at Jason, sitting beside you on the couch. His cheek resting in his palm, his elbow propped up on the couch’s arm. He stared blankly at the television you were both supposedly watching, though you could tell by the glazed-over look in his eyes that he wasn’t paying much attention. Just as you had been, he was kicking something around in his mind as well. He hadn’t been himself all day. The words clawed their way back to the forefront of your mind, driven only by your desire to help, suppressed momentarily with an awkward “Hey um—”

Jason seemed to be swiftly brought back to reality at the sound of your voice, straightening up and turning to face you. His eyebrows arched in curiosity at your sudden speaking out, letting out a nearly inaudible ‘hm?’ over the background noise of the TV.

Anxiety tugged at the words, trying to bury them before they could leave your lips, as the anticipation of them was apparent in Jason’s gaze. You struggled to remain composure under its perceived intensity, but the thought of his cries pushed you forward. Finally, you spoke them. “I heard you crying last night.”

You followed them swiftly by asking if he was okay. You knew he wasn’t, but you needed to say something, anything, else. You hoped for an explanation – a means of helping you understand; a way of allowing you to help.

Jason’s eyes widened with what looked like embarrassment. He took a breath, nodding slightly, and let out a reluctant and unconvincing “yeah.”

You contemplated what you would say next, only for a moment. You didn’t want to pry, but it quickly became apparent that maybe you needed to. Just this once. You gave him another chance to be honest. “Are you sure?”

Again, he responded with another ‘yeah.’ The word came out shaky, unsteady; a distinct tremble in his voice.

“Was it a nightmare?” you asked. Desperation laced your words, rolled off your tongue with the same ease as your continued questioning.

Jason blinked a few times, his eyes quickly becoming glassy as his emotions rose – both sadness and annoyance. Whether the latter was directed towards you or the situation, you weren’t sure. He shook his head as he told you no; his voice soft, defeated. His eyes closed for a moment as if he were steadying himself, to empower himself to continue. He let out a harsh sigh before opening them again, his eyes meeting yours for only a split second before they were drawn to the vacant space between you on the couch. “It’s just—” he started, abruptly cutting himself short. Again, he shook his head. “Nevermind.”

His eyes once again met yours – pitifully somber in the way they looked at you, and yet he did his best to muster a smile. “Don’t worry about it.”

Your heart ached as you took notice of his conflict, your stomach twisting up in knots as concern enveloped you despite his request. You were unable to mask it, in your voice or on your face. “Hey—” Your smile matched his. Flimsy, frail, but genuine in its efforts to alleviate the tension between you. “You can tell me.”

He contemplated his response – whether or not he would grant himself the indulgence of vulnerability or continue to ruminate on his own – scanning your face as he did so, as if to remind himself that you were safe. That you cared. That you loved him.

Suddenly he turned away, slouching forward. The elbow that previously sat upon the couch’s arm now dug into his thigh, his hair snaking through his fingers as he held his head up with his hand. He stared down at his lap, a dejected look in his eyes as tears began to form within them, not daring to look at you as he admitted what was wrong. “I feel like I’m falling apart,” he started, tears streaking his cheeks before falling onto his legs. “It’s just… so much.”

The words came out soft in his pitiful confession, but were harsh in the way in which they struck you. You could feel yourself on the verge of crying alongside him with the silent acknowledgement that you could not possibly ease all of his pain, only apologize for it. An apology that was not yours to give, though words you knew held some semblance of comfort. Someone had to be sorry.

Softly, you spoke his name. You inched yourself over to him, filling the gap that existed between you, and placed a hand on his back. You rubbed it slightly as it shuddered with his unsteady breathing. “It’s okay,” you assured him.

Jason’s body tensed and he let out another sigh, this time through gritted teeth. “It’s not.”

It wasn’t. It was hard to make a compelling argument when you yourself found it difficult to really believe things were okay. But then, so what if they weren’t? You two would make things okay. You would fight tooth and nail, together, to place distance between Jason and his past. To create a life filled with softness. With kindness. With safety.

“I know it’s hard to believe that,” you said, your own voice trembling. “But I’m here whenever you need me, ok?”

Jason sniffled as he sat upright, his blue eyes reddened from tears. “I know,” he stated. There was more stability in his voice now – a bit of tension relieved now that he had given himself the opportunity to release it, even if just a little, in your presence. “It’s just hard, ya know?”

He didn’t need to elaborate. You did know. You knew better than anyone that asking for help was not something that came easily to him. Not because he didn’t want it, but because he simply wasn’t used to getting it.

You slid your hand off his back and placed it on his cheek, an earnest look on your face. “You’re allowed to need help, Jason,” you told him. “You need to remember that.”

Jason blinked, ridding himself of any remaining tears, and smiled as he let out a small laugh. His hand met yours, fingers interlocking before he pulled it away to kiss one of your knuckles and letting go. His face was unreadable for a moment – a strange combination of residual sadness and relief written upon it – but there was a level of conviction in his words that followed that assured you that you had told him something he needed to hear. “Yeah… I know that. I’m working on it.”

You smiled in return, trying to ease what remained of his distress, as well as ease yourself. Compelled by a need to be closer to him, you wrapped your arms around him. You could feel his body relax in your embrace as you relaxed in his, his cheek resting atop your head. He took a deep breath, and a just-audible whimper escaped his lips. Crying again as his mix of emotions caused chaos to unfold in his mind, he told you that he loved you with such sincerity that it felt like the first time you had heard it. Laced with desperation, clinging to you as if you were the only thing holding him together. Maybe you were. Maybe he had only just then realized it.

Maybe you were a reminder, a touchstone. You were stability, you were progress, you were consent for him to free himself of what plagued him – to externalize, to process. What wasn’t okay now could be, someday, and hope was something he needed no protection from.

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eva-sparda20 · 5 days

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Jason Todd: Fluffy A-Z Headcanons

Literally no one asked for this except my own feral brain. Based on my fic, The Pizza Delivery Girl’s Survival Guide to Gotham City.

A = Attractive: what do they find attractive about the other?

Hands. Jason loves being petted, loves being touched in general. During particularly impulsive moments, he’ll lift your hand to his lips so he can kiss your fingers or trail kisses along your knuckles. B = Baby: do they want a family? why/why not?

Right now, Jason would definitely not want a family. He has too many negative feelings about it.

He was born into an abusive family (in fact, his father tried to sell him to a mob boss shortly after Jason’s birth).

His time with the Batfam was tragically short-lived, and while he did have a good relationship with Bruce and Alfred (and Dick and Barbara), he currently has a love-hate relationship with them. This love-hate relationship is further complicated by irrational feelings of guilt, misplaced jealousy, and fears of abandonment.

In short, when Jason thinks of family, he’s not definitely not thinking of positive things.

C = Cuddle:how do they cuddle?

Jason’s a 0 or 100 type of cuddler.

Either you have to initiate all the touching and the cuddling, with him being a stiff, passive participant (while internally begging you not to stop). If you decide to stop at some point, though, he’ll probably lean a little in your direction, but will be too insecure to ask for more.

Although there are times where he would be the one to initiate the cuddles, and it usually starts like this:

You know that wonderful moment when you’ve only just woken up, and for a second, you can’t remember any of your troubles or worries, and all you know is you’re awake, well-rested, and it’s a beautiful morning?

Jason cuddles during these mornings, when he’s not worried about muscle pain or abandonment or his scars. He’ll just roll over and throw one muscular arm around you so he can pull you in and bury his face in your shoulder.

Expect half-asleep sweet nothings too (things like You’re beautiful and I love you so much) that he probably won’t remember when he’s fully awake.

D = Dates: what are dates with them like?

Because Jason is supposed to be dead and is generally uncomfortable in public, he’s perfectly happy with domestic, comfortable dates. Think, watching old movies on a well-worn couch or breakfast and coffee just after his patrols. He’s content with the fact that he’s spending time with you. Although, if you’re the type to want to go out in public spaces, he’ll try for you, and maybe even enjoy himself. But if he gets to choose, he’ll definitely want to stay at home.

Dick tries to get involved at some point and tried to turn it into a sleepover so he can spend time with his little brother. May or may not have succeeded.

E = Everything:you are my ____ (e.g my life, my world…)

For Jason, you are his home. You make him feel safe and you make him feel at peace, and for a little while, everything inside him goes very still and quiet. For a man who constantly has to wrestle with his own demons, that is something indescribably precious.

(I don’t know if anyone noticed this, but in the last chapter, when Jason wants to feel safe, he unconsciously started thinking about reader’s apartment)

F = Feelings: when did they know they were falling in love? Jason’s not the type to notice when he’s falling in love, but rather, the one who’ll notice when he’s already in love, and it’s far, far too late to back out. He won’t realize it when he starts craving your presence when the two of you are away from each other, he won’t realize it when he starts getting jealous every time someone pays too much attention to you, and he definitely won’t realize it when he starts planning his daily routine to spend more time with you.

He’ll only notice when you’ve become such a fixture in his life, when your presence has become so normal to him that spending time with you is like breathing; just as unnoticed and just as necessary. And one day he’s watching you do something utterly mundane, a crossword puzzle maybe or rereading your favorite book, and the thought will come to him out of nowhere.

God, I love her.

The realization will hit him like a punch to the gut and maybe he’ll have to leave the room, shaking, because he’s only just realized how much you mean to him and he doesn’t quite know how to deal with that information.

G = Gentle: are they gentle? If so, how?

Like glass. But let me explain.

Jason would 100% enjoy being in a relationship with someone who is capable of taking care of themselves. However, even knowing that you’re capable isn’t going to prevent him from treating you like glass. Part of it is his own insecurities and he’s always worrying about what if you feel the scars on his hands, his arms? What if you’re the one that doesn’t want to touch him?

So his touches are always gentle, giving you plenty of space to pull away.

(He will be really pleased, however, if you pull him in and hug him tight.)

Another part of it, however, comes from a sense of wonder. Will definitely hold you at some point and think about how lucky he is to have you.

H = Hand: Hold how do they like to hold? how do they like to hold hands?

Generally, no. He likes it when you touch him and likes your hands. But he would like to keep his hands far away from yours. Too many scars and too many insecurities, on his part.

I = Impression: first impression/s

Immediately classified you as a civilian with a neon sign saying do not interact shining above your head.

K = Kisses: how do they kiss?

Either soft, hesitant kisses or the really desperate kind. No in-between.

Ties in with letter G. He’s either too caught up in his own insecurities to enjoy kissing you or, if something really shakes him up (i.e. you’re caught up in a dangerous situation), then he’s kissing you, with no thought past thank god you’re alive.

L = Little things: what little things do they love/notice?

Jason basically notices everythin , but takes particular notice to the things you do that makes him feel loved and cared for. Things like randomly touching him when you pass him by, or pouring him coffee in the morning. Little things that have made you so ingrained into his life that he can’t imagine it without you.

M = Memory: their favorite moment together?

[REDACTED DUE TO SPOILERS]

N = Nickel: do they spoil? do they buy the person they love everything?

Jason will lowkey spoil you.

He has a distaste for buying flashy, expensive things (one of the many traits he shares with Bruce), but he will take note of your favorite brand of body wash or coffee or tea and will quietly replace it before it gets the chance to empty.

You mention that the leaky faucet in the sink is driving you nuts? By morning it will be mysteriously fixed.

A book you’ve been wanting to read? Give it two or three days before it shows up on your bedside table.

He doesn’t like to make a big show out of giving you things, and is in fact embarrassed to some degree at how much he wants to spoil you, but remember to thank him and he’ll practically preen.

O = Orange: what color reminds them of their other half?

For Jason: Green, red, and white, the color the Mamma Mia’s uniform.

But mostly red because he can’t get the image of you wearing his jacket out of his head.

Jason has a jealous, possessive side that he does not like to acknowledge.

P = Pet name:what pet names do they use?

Jason just likes being called Jason, because as a vigilante whose face and name is usually hidden from the public eye, he finds that there’s a startling level of intimacy in you saying his name.

For his part, Jason tends to experiment (mostly pet names he’s heard from Dick and his string of girlfriends but he’ll never admit it). He’ll call you babe one day, and sweetheart the next, carefully observing your reactions to see which one you like best.

It’s the babe that sticks, mostly because it’s the simplest.

Q = Questions: what are the questions they’re always asking?

You’re the one that mostly asks the mundane questions like, How was your day? or, did you talk to Oracle recently? or even stuff that you think might interest him, like, Did you hear what happened in the Bowery last night?

Jason, on the other hand, is more security-oriented and will ask things like, Did you remember to lock the door? Did you check the windows? Did you notice anyone following you on the way home?

Only when he’s absolutely sure that you’re safe will he settle down next to you, and start asking you about your day.

R = Remember: their favorite memory of each other.

Reader: The time he lent you his jacket in the Monarch Theatre.

Jason: [REDACTED DUE TO SPOILERS]

y’all likely see it in the next chapter i swear

S = Sad: how do they cheer themselves/each other up.

It is surprisingly simple to cheer Jason up. When he’s had a nightmare or a particularly bad memory is sticking to him, the methods of comforting him are always the same: Don’t downplay what he’s feeling, don’t force him to talk about it if he doesn’t want to, and just sit with him.

He’ll enjoy the company and the silence, without the added pressure of being forced to dredge up memories he’s not ready to share just yet. What’s more, you having the patience to stay with him when he’s having a hard time goes a long way with helping with his abandonment issues.

(Jason is, sadly, almost always terrified that the moment he makes himself hard to love or be around, people are going to leave him. It also explains his abrasive personality towards the Batsiblings, he thinks it’s better to drive them away than get attached to them and have to beg them to stay all over again.)

T = Talking: what do they love to talk about?

Gotham. Unsurprisingly. I’m not sure if anyone has noticed but in my fic, the reader absolutely loves anything related to the Gotham mythos: rumors, news, bits of information about famous criminals.

For his part, Jason likes hearing about the more mundane parts of Gotham, your work, how your day went, and that little old lady who will not stop ordering pickles with her pizza. He also loves talking about books (major lit nerd) and old horror movies.

V = Very: ___ they’re thoughts about each other?

Jason: very kind. There’s definitely something he can respect about someone who still manages to retain their kindness and humanity in spite of the cruelty of Gotham City.

W = Why: reasons why they love each other

A lot of things, but mostly because of the trust. I think it’s important to point out that their relationship is built up on mutual trust.

He can trust you to have his back in Arkham Asylum.

He can trust you not to walk away when his darker impulses take over.

He can trust you to keep him safe.

For Jason, who’s been betrayed by a lot of people in his life, being able to trust you blindly, completely, will always be one of the most important parts of your relationship.

X = Xylophone: What’s their song?

Smoke and Guns by Nathan Sharp

(I genuinely can’t believe I missed this the first few times I was asked!)

Y = You: the ___ to my ___

Delivery girl to my vigilante?

Safe house in my Gotham City?

Honestly I have no idea what to put here. Z = Zebra:if they wanted a pet, what pet would they get?

A very large dog would definitely please Jason. He’ll want to train him, and teach him how to keep you safe in case of break-ins.

So imagine Jason’s dismay when the puppy the two of you adopted grows up spoiled, lazy and slightly stupid. The dog would also be way too friendly and his favorite form of exercise would be getting up off the couch and greeting anyone who walks through the door. While Jason claims to be disappointed in the dog, he’s also quietly grateful in his open affection and slobbery kisses.

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eva-sparda20 · 5 days

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eva-sparda20 · 5 days

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How different are Comic! Jason and AK! Jason when it comes to their personality?

Comic!Jason is … Comic!Jason. A lot of his internal conflicts won’t pour out into the real world as much as Ak!Jasons does. He has his depressive/derealization episodes but he also is able to get out of them when it gets too bad. He’s better at figuring out maintaining his emotions but still needs emotion guidance. He’s a lot more direct with his emotions with someone he trust. Comic!Jasons biggest issue is his self-destructive tendency. He has little care for any pain inflicted on himself, and barely cares for his own needs. He can also be super hard-headed, its hard to break him out of habits. He needs someone to ground him and set his head straight. Comic!Jason has a hard time trusting but is still a softie. He’s a lot more bold in a relationship and when he opens up hes like a funny little social butterfly, hes very attentive and a natural care-taker. A nerd who likes to get drunk and read you old romantic poetry. A nerd who rides you on the outskirts of gotham and yap about literally anything. A nerd who hasn’t touched a video game since he was 15 so absolutely sucks ass at mario kart. CERTIFIED LOVER BOY ALERT 🚨 ‼️

Ak!Jason is.. ak!jason. A buttload of his issues come from his traumas. He doesn’t know how to express himself without getting extremely frustrated either at himself or whatever his mental gymnastics have him believe. He’s very bad at maintaining his own emotions and needs a fuckton of emotional guidance. MASSIVE TRUST ISSUES. He’s very indirect and often isolates himself if under too much emotional pressure. Ak!Jason has a bunch of insecurities, not just is body but more so of his mind, he always has conditioned himself to be winning in some sort of way so he takes a lot of negative things very harshly. He also has high fluctuating emotions, lots of emotional meltdowns, and is extremely paranoid. Ak!Jason is a lot harder to be in a relationship with… my high maintenance wife… He again, doesn’t trust easily, and takes him literal years to have trust in someone. BUT he’s still but a boy at heart, he likes going to arcades, eating fast-food at 3am, he likes the mundane, starts craving it after awhile. If you know how to handle him, he’s an extensive high-rewarding lover to have. ak!jason who learns how to live a lovely little life >>

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eva-sparda20 · 5 days

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Thinking about disabled AK!Jason tonite with a disabled s/o

Let's be fr this man could/should be an ambulatory wheelchair user but he won't because he doesn't know that's a thing and wouldn't think he deserved it. If you're an ambulatory wheelchair user maybe one day you manage to lovingly bully him into just TRYING it and it is life changing

He uses his ambulatory energy to do Red Hood shit nbd

if he doesn't use a wheelchair he's got at least 2 braces--shoulder and knee

Baby has chronic pain, arthritis, chronic migraines from being beaten

Missing some teeth too

take this boy to your neuro or your ortho!!!! he is totally unaware he does not need to live like this. better living through chemistry

let's get him some therapy too

you WILL have to go to his drs appointments with him. mans WILL freak the fuck out for ANY medical procedure, has very serious medical abuse trauma. if he can see how your drs help you he is much more likely to go if he can see that you are benefiting from your providers and that they haven't harmed you

if you're scared of drs he will FULLY stand behind you. probably not that healthy tbh but he gets it

having a special Migraine Protocol for each of you (it's basically just a snack and a drink, blue light filter glasses, a sleep mask with headphones for that special Migraine Playlist)

make your own pain scales and talk through frequency of pain bc when you have constant or near constant pain it fucks up your ability to quantify it so making your own pain scale is helpful (he probably uses shakespeare plays or authors. like a 5 for jason is twilight, because you can see some problems but it's fun and fluffy but when you start looking closer OH NO SO MANY PROBLEMS)

pain meters on a wall near the kitchen so you can know what you're working with

CBD patches

the AK suit is basically a giant brace/mobility aid so you help him figure out how to adapt it for his red hood persona, how to make it lighter and allow for greater ROM

will remind you to do physical therapy

resistance bands ALL OVER THE HOUSE

learning bodywork techniques

AT LEAST once a week using a special oil or lotion to work into some of his bigger scars to make the tissue more mobile

giving him a back/neck/scalp/face massage

after a while obvi that's a lot of trust he's putting in you

NOT deep tissue. don't hurt him more. you can have effective therapeutic massage without hurting a person

trager work involves basically shaking a limb and letting the weight of the muscle do all the work but it feels weird the first time and he'd just start laughing at you

specially if you do his glutes

but it feels really nice so he stops laughing and it does help his lower body pain

putting magnesium lotion on each other's neck and shoulders

start to ask each other "are you angry or in pain?"

hand massages

teaching him to stop pushing through the pain

one of his knees is basically bone on bone so you always know when the weather is changing

if u both have bad knees u just don't even when the weather is changing. take some pain meds, use your topical pain reliever of choice, prop those joints up and snuggle in bed. watch a youtube series or he can read to you

heated blankets as heating pads supremacy

occasionally he'll be in pain and the kind of pain where you feel like you're going insane, so as a distraction he will go online and buy a bunch of weird pain-relieving gadgets and you'll spend a week trying them out

(sometimes his pain fog shopping spree is blind boxes, or nail polish, or statement shirts)

all of his siblings know to come to your place if they get beat tf up because your medicine cabinet is UNreal

you're about to give cass or steph a Controlled Substance Pain Reliever and you pause "this is technically drug dealing, isn't it? dOn'T teLL rEd hOOD" jason is literally patching them up right next to you

soft blankets

reminding each other it's ok to take it slow

he's constantly tearing into the other rogues for not having ADA accessible lairs (except Ivy who successfully argued that the plants make it ADA accessible which will do. FOR NOW.)

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