evapillar

[evapillar]

I brought up this comic in group therapy yesterday, and the facilitator thought it sounded “profound” so this morning I brought him a printout (with attribution!!!) and he liked it so much he made photocopies for everyone in the group to take home.

Thank you @pocketss for helping all of us get better!

it’s just one of those croissant days

[evapillar]

Ditto used Transform!

It was super effective!

Gelatinous Cube has fallen in love! 💖

[evapillar]

Conversations Happening In The Stands When Kaladin Broke Relis' Shardplate Through A Kick in the 4v1 Duel

As requested by anon. :)

This anon wanted me to imagine what people said when Kaladin--just a normal darkeyed guard so far as anyone knew--freaking cracked a dude's shardplate by kicking it during the 4v1 duel. So here are some conversations I think might have happened in the stands!

1. 

"Storming hell--did you see that? That guard just kicked that guy and now the guy's shardplate is cracked!" "Oh…..okay. This makes way more sense now." "It…It does??" "Yeah! This is obviously staged." "….Staged?" "Ha ha, come on! You can't KICK shardplate into cracking! That can't be real shardplate. It's clear this whole thing is staged. Probably some sort of machinations that Dalinar and Sadeas came up with together." "Man, if you start with that stupid conspiracy theory again…" "I'm TELLING you! Their FEUD is FAKE and they are DATING!" "…Just watch the duel."

2.

"Uh…was that cracking sound the man's legs or the Shardplate?" "It must have been his legs! Poor guy." "No! He's getting up! I think…I think it was the Shardplate!" "He….he broke the Shardplate by KICKING it?" "No…it must have already been cracked...right?" "He did knock the Shardbearer over, though. With the kick." "Y-Yeah….I guess he never skips leg day…" "…" "…" "This duel just keeps getting crazier!"

3.

"Ugh. I don't think Relis is ever gonna live this down. Imagine being knocked over by a dude with no armor and a spear." "A darkeyed guy with no armor and a spear." "Yeah…humiliating." "We gotta uninvite him from brunch." "That's harsh but fair."

4.

"Hey, uh…just how strong are darkeyes' legs?" "They appear to be very, very strong." "Do you think I should treat my employees better?" "That's your takeaway?!"

5. 

"I didn't realize Relis' shardplate had grown that weak! Even a kick could crack it!" "Ha ha, yeah! And that guard was TOTALLY knocked over even so!" "Shardplate is so strong and magnificent, but if you strike it when it is very, very weakened, even normal human strength can do it in." "That is definitely my takeaway too." 

6.

"I knew Bridgemen's arms must be strong from, like, carrying the bridge. But I didn't realize their legs were so strong too!" "Well, what do you think they were using to run all that way?" "Still, though!"

7. 

"Oh Almighty I think he broke his legs!!!" "No, no--he's fine! Look!" "But…I could have SWORN they bent weirdly for a second." "Don't be ridiculous--what, do you think his legs just magically healed?" "No…that would be ridiculous." "Ha ha yeah!"

8.

"I can see why Dalinar chose a bridgeman to be his head guard." "Yeah." "I'm afraid." "I'm afraid too."

9. 

"I can't imagine caring that much about my job." "Hmmm?" "If my bosses' sons were in danger like that, I'd be like, 'Whelp, good luck with that.'" "That man's a guard, though." "I'm a guard." "Oh…right." "And I'm telling you. I ain't kicking any enemies in Shardplate for my boss." "That's just a healthy work-life balance." "Do you think we should give Stormblessed one of our pamphlets?" "If he survives, then definitely."

10.

"[sighs]" "…Why are you sighing dreamily?" "It's just--imagine being the sort of man where if you see a fully armed Shardbearer heading for your beloved, you immediately attack! Even if you have no armor or weapons and your life is on the line!" "He has a spear." "Spears don't count as weapons in a Shardblade duel." "Well but -- wait. Did you say 'beloved'?" "Um, yeah. What fight are YOU watching?" "Ugh. If you start in with that STUPID conspiracy theory again…" "I'm telling you! Adolin and Stormblessed are DATING and that red-haired chick is just their BEARD!" "...Just watch the duel."

[evapillar]

[evapillar]

Went into covid isolation and Came Back Wrong

[evapillar]

My attitude towards the egg festival and the winter star is definitely influenced by growing up in a mixed family! Since non-participation in Christian rituals is often one of the most visible signs of Jewish identity (especially in the US), I can understand skipping them, but I don’t see any halakhic reason to ban participation. The egg hunt is so divorced from Jesus at this point that it barely counts as religious in my book. The Feast of the Winter Star is iffier, but as far as I can tell you don’t have to, like, go to mass to worship Yoba or something. It does bug the heck out of me that they invented an imaginary religion that still has Christmas trees. But at the end of the day, it’s a Secret Santa gift exchange and bailing on one of those is kind of a dick move. Would Haley have ended up with the gift Pierre got for me?

I grew up doing Easter egg hunts, because my dad grew up with them and they are super duper fun, and I still go to my grandma’s house every year for what I can best describe as Atheist Christmas. For me, these things don’t conflict with my Jewishness, but I can totally understand why they would for someone of a different background!

Requesting silly help from Jumblr

Has anyone attempted to write up rules for Jewish observance in Stardew Valley? I assumed this must exist since someone did it for Breath of the Wild, but I can’t find anything! I’m Stardewing my way through COVID isolation and I’m bored enough to make up some rules myself, but my knowledge of halakha (and this game I’ve been playing for less than a week) is limited so I would appreciate contributions.

Rules So Far:

No tool use, crafting, mine cart use, or financial transactions on Shabbat (sundown Friday to an hour after sundown Saturday)

Bug meat, shellfish, etc are treyf

Married women must visit the mikvah (bath house) at the beginning of every season

You must clear your inventory before leaving your farm on Shabbat

You may not start furnaces or appliances that require electricity/heat on Shabbat. Other appliances probably OK

Unsettled Issues

Is the farm boundary coherent enough to count as an eruv, or must you construct an eruv yourself before carrying outside the house on Shabbat?

Fishing for food is apparently allowed on Shabbat! Can we assume all fish sold in Stardew Valley are eventually eaten and therefore allow fishing on Stardew Shabbat?

Can you eat things prepared in non-kashered kitchens (eg the saloon)?

Should days marked with a pennant on the calendar be considered Yom Tov?

Does shipping produce overnight count as a financial transaction, and if so does it occur when you place the produce in the shipping box, or when you receive the gold?

Oh my gosh I don’t know any farm halakha AT ALL I had to google whether you can milk a cow on Shabbat someone please help

Does this game have meat in it?

[evapillar]

Fascinating additions, thanks! I’m not actually shomer shabbos IRL so there are some categories I missed! I think you are right about fishing, I was really just looking for a loophole to be able to do any sort of fun gameplay on Shabbat. I also think you make a good point about collecting from appliances, but on the other hand I’ve come around to the idea that the financial transaction of the shipping bin happens when you ship the item. It feels analogous to earning interest on your bank account overnight and also I just don’t think you can break Shabbat whilst sleeping. I like your takes on the niddah timing and yomim tovim, although I think the egg festival is fine and I am still on the fence about the winter star. Re: restaurant food, if I were willing to brave the spoilers I would check the wiki for the full menu of each place, and call it kosher if there isn’t anything overtly treyf listed.

Thanks for indulging me in this silliness!

Requesting silly help from Jumblr

Has anyone attempted to write up rules for Jewish observance in Stardew Valley? I assumed this must exist since someone did it for Breath of the Wild, but I can’t find anything! I’m Stardewing my way through COVID isolation and I’m bored enough to make up some rules myself, but my knowledge of halakha (and this game I’ve been playing for less than a week) is limited so I would appreciate contributions.

Rules So Far:

No tool use, crafting, mine cart use, or financial transactions on Shabbat (sundown Friday to an hour after sundown Saturday)

Bug meat, shellfish, etc are treyf

Married women must visit the mikvah (bath house) at the beginning of every season

You must clear your inventory before leaving your farm on Shabbat

You may not start furnaces or appliances that require electricity/heat on Shabbat. Other appliances probably OK

Unsettled Issues

Is the farm boundary coherent enough to count as an eruv, or must you construct an eruv yourself before carrying outside the house on Shabbat?

Fishing for food is apparently allowed on Shabbat! Can we assume all fish sold in Stardew Valley are eventually eaten and therefore allow fishing on Stardew Shabbat?

Can you eat things prepared in non-kashered kitchens (eg the saloon)?

Should days marked with a pennant on the calendar be considered Yom Tov?

Does shipping produce overnight count as a financial transaction, and if so does it occur when you place the produce in the shipping box, or when you receive the gold?

Oh my gosh I don’t know any farm halakha AT ALL I had to google whether you can milk a cow on Shabbat someone please help

Does this game have meat in it?

[evapillar]

love the variety of animal that I like to call “the sneefers”

[evapillar]

IN THE JUNGLE

WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE

WATCH IT BRING YOU TO YOUR-

[evapillar]

Requesting silly help from Jumblr

Has anyone attempted to write up rules for Jewish observance in Stardew Valley? I assumed this must exist since someone did it for Breath of the Wild, but I can’t find anything! I’m Stardewing my way through COVID isolation and I’m bored enough to make up some rules myself, but my knowledge of halakha (and this game I’ve been playing for less than a week) is limited so I would appreciate contributions.

Rules So Far:

No tool use, crafting, mine cart use, or financial transactions on Shabbat (sundown Friday to an hour after sundown Saturday)

Bug meat, shellfish, etc are treyf

Married women must visit the mikvah (bath house) at the beginning of every season

You must clear your inventory before leaving your farm on Shabbat

You may not start furnaces or appliances that require electricity/heat on Shabbat. Other appliances probably OK

Unsettled Issues

Is the farm boundary coherent enough to count as an eruv, or must you construct an eruv yourself before carrying outside the house on Shabbat?

Fishing for food is apparently allowed on Shabbat! Can we assume all fish sold in Stardew Valley are eventually eaten and therefore allow fishing on Stardew Shabbat?

Can you eat things prepared in non-kashered kitchens (eg the saloon)?

Should days marked with a pennant on the calendar be considered Yom Tov?

Does shipping produce overnight count as a financial transaction, and if so does it occur when you place the produce in the shipping box, or when you receive the gold?

Oh my gosh I don’t know any farm halakha AT ALL I had to google whether you can milk a cow on Shabbat someone please help

Does this game have meat in it?

[evapillar]

Welcome to Wells Fargo

[evapillar]

Woke up to some very good counter examples in the notes! So I am narrowing this further:

Is Wayne the only MORTAL HUMAN WITH A NOTMAL LIFESPAN who definitely has sexual intercourse outside of marriage? (heavy petting doesn’t count, Adolin)

Are Wayne and [redacted] the only couple in the cosmere who have extramarital sex or am I forgetting someone?

[evapillar]

Are Wayne and [redacted] the only couple in the cosmere who have extramarital sex or am I forgetting someone?

[evapillar]

[evapillar]

Article #1: this guy on the defense has an unusual life story!

Article #2: the head coach gave a press conference and avoided saying anything substantive!

I love the Boston Globe so much this morning I picked up the sports section and said “I bet there’s no football news today but there’ll be two articles about it anyway” and I was RIGHT and I read them over breakfast

[evapillar]

I love the Boston Globe so much this morning I picked up the sports section and said “I bet there’s no football news today but there’ll be two articles about it anyway” and I was RIGHT and I read them over breakfast