evelina18-6-blog - Tumblr blog

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"…the golden hair on his legs, the wide and battered chest, the sunken belly, the scars, the dark gray veins on his arms under the light skin, the very long hair that gave him neither the look of a viking nor a rocker not a hippie but something that was only visiting in the present, something wild and desolate."

This made me think of Pelle

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trapped in a box skwistok! 🟩 oldie trope but goodie

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do you know where i can find dead’s vocals on songs? i can’t tell if the ones on youtube are legit because they say edited

Here

Here

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In 2012 this film was broadcast at a Scandinavian film festival in my country's capital and I loved it deeply. 😭💘

MANNEN SOM ELSKET YNGVE (2008)

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w.i.p 🕯🖤

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I had been wanting to make this drawing for months, inspired by Lenore, the cute little dead girl. I was inspired by Ragamuffin to make Euro but I couldn't find references for Necro and HH, so they have a somewhat different style.

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Qué dijo Varg de Milei?

No dijo nada con sus propias palabras. Cuando Milei fue a Israel, hace como dos meses, y le sacaron esa foto llorando en el Muro de Los Lamentos parece que Varg estuvo siguiendo la noticia (suelo revisar las cosas que él likea xD) y le dio like a un par de post que decían "qué idiota" y "aún un gay se ve más masculino que eso".

O sea, lo odia por su fanatismo por el judaísmo, dudo que sepa más.

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Pelle 🦇

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I always keep myself wondering what type of interactions Anders receive in his social profiles...

I also always wanted to reach to him to show him some stuff I did to honor his brother's memory but everytime I thought of reaching to him, I stop myself...

I eventually did and he was pretty nice to me, he even asked if he could share with him mom, it was quite sweet.

But that's my roman empire

The things we seeing being fans around social media, regarding Pelle are really f**k*d up, and his fans are pretty inconvenient sometimes

Yep, I told him that I swore to myself to never send him a message (then I did, because I had an information that was too important), and he was like "noooo, why you didn't want to send me a message?"

He apparently loves when fans contact him, I suppose it's his way of coping. From my perspective, it would be a hell for me, especially since he receives intrusive and dumb messages every single day, but he doesn't mind 😂

He is way too sweet and good, you know that old meme *cinnamon roll, too good too pure for this world*? That's him.

I felt like the worst person in the world in his presence, he exudes some sort of goodness, I cannot deal with it.

I am glad you decided to send him a message, and I want others to do it as well, since it's clearly what he wants and welcomes.

Just don't ask him about his brother's sexual life

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made me think of Pelle, sorry xD

if you're an adult man with natural blonde hair that's a sign from nature to show that there's something deeply evil going on with you like the brightly colored frogs

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I have two great similarities with Vikernes: hating the current president of Argentina and being in love with Euronymous. 😃👍

Finally 😌

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You mentioned that Pelle check a lot of autistic boxes, why do you think that?

Hyperfixations, avoiding eye contact, inability to multitask, slow processing speed, inability to lie, black and white thinking, low sensitivity to pain, saying inappropriate things to adults as a child, being labeled "special and different" from early childhood, started attending school a year later than he should have, horrible social skills and social anxiety, eating disorder (more likely when you have autism), executive function issues....the list goes on.

This is probably the third time you sent this anon and I ignored for a reason- I don't like to discuss this publicly, because I have no proof and will never have. Autism couldn't be diagnosed prior to 1991.

I won't speak about details again. Whoever knows enough information about Pelle and knows symptoms of autism, should be able to see it clearly.

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(this is so long, i am so sorry)

i understand why the artist was offended because your post made some pretty strong if not aggressive arguments, and i'm sure some assholes took the opportunity to send that person anon hate which probably made it feel more like a personal attack than it actually was, but i am honestly so sick and tired of people using their real life trauma as an excuse for every single thing. i may not have some deep, life altering trauma but i have my own issues and experiences and i too use fiction and art to cope but here we're not just talking about fiction and art, hell we're not talking about fiction at all. the ethics of shipping real life people are already questionable enough and i don't think there's a clear cut and dry answer but taking someone so repulsive, so downright dangerous, as Vargs and not only making cute artworks of him a if he's your casual anime boy, but also shipping him with a person who hated him, is inexcusable. just saying that you don't like or support Vargs is not enough when you have practically dedicated an entire account to making fanart of him. the Mayhem community is already messy enough and by doing that, they downplay what a piece of shit Vargs is and the pain he caused. (no matter how unintentional). also can we talk about Pelle for a moment? claiming to like him and pair him with such a horrible person? using him as a prop and completely ignoring his real life relationships and beliefs? how is that fair? people are already infantalizing him enough because of his mental illness and possible autism. how about realizing that Pelle is not a prop? that he was a person who deserves respect and that drawing him in the embrace of his friends murderer, is not being respectful to say the least? what about Oystein? no one seems to want to address were Olystein fits in this situation at all, why? was he not the person affected the most by Vargs? was he not his victim? putting his friend with his murderer feels like a huge fuck you to him. overall, painting someone in a positive light and later going 'lol im just kidding' is not good enough. Vargs (amongst others..) has spend the majority of his time insulting, belittling, even sexualizing Oystein, in an attempt to ruin his legacy and he has mostly succeeded because he's surrounded by cowards like himself who don't have the balls to stand up and speak the truth. the first thing people come across when researching Mayhem is the same bullshit about what a ''terrible'' person Oystein was and how he ''needed to be stopped''. this is the narrative Vargs has created and if you don't care enough to look deeper, you'll end up believing his lies and blaming a dead person. therefore such artwork, that completely rewrites the history and relationships of these people, can be very dangerous because it can actualy help Vargs into better selling his stupid narrative. i'm not saying that this particular artist is a bad person or that they're lying about their trauma or any bullshit like that, but art affects real life and the moment you post sth online you've opened yourself to criticism. do these Vargs/Pelle fics have more depth than initially presented? maybe. maybe they truly are a great psychological analysis of Vargs (although i don't understand why the hell you'd want to touch that with a ten-foot pole) but you can't blame people for not seeing that. whenever i see fanart of a ship, i don't sit wondering what the artist wants to say with their piece, i either like it bc i like the ship or i don't. if this is your copying mechanism, fine. can't criticize someone's copying mechanisms without sounding like an asshole i guess. but my advice is that maybe people need to take a better look at themselves and see how their interests affect others as well. you can do whatever in your own time but when you post it online it contributes to sth bigger whether you like it or not.

Don't worry about the length of your messages. I like that you elaborate. I agree with everything and thank you for your message. I honestly don't understand when this person says that she is NOT a fan of Varg, or that she doesn't like him and makes fun of him. I haven't seen anything mocking. I've only seen a great idealization of the young Varg, who was a horrible person, more violent than the current Varg. And a certain idealization of the "wonderful" intellect of the current Varg. I'm sorry to say that "the mockery" is poorly done. Like when you have to explain a joke, if no one understand it, it's because it's done poorly. About Pelle, I liked this: "claiming to like him and pair him with such a horrible person? using him as a prop and completely ignoring his real life relationships and beliefs?" Yes, that's why I said Pelle is not a ball that goes from here to there. I also agree that no one seems to think what's going on with Euro in this situation. In my case, it is almost the first thing that shocks me, it is a double offense towards him. That's why I wonder if there is something, deep down, against the Euro. Because romanticizing Varg SO MUCH, yes or yes, for me, brings with it some kind of sympathy for his ideologies, therefore, some kind of resentment towards Euro. When people attack Euro, they generally resort to two things: lies about the mistreatment of Pelle, and his political inclinations, painting him as an authoritarian extremist fanatic. And therefore, Varg as a person who was encouraged to go further and do "something that many would want to do." Varg is a failure who does not know how to value the only good thing in him, his musical talent. He did not know how to value the influence of Euro and the environment in which he found himself. Now he is a clown who needs to resort to ridiculing himself on the internet to stay current, so that his morbid followers consume him "as ironic consumption." It's an internet phenomenon. And he is free only because the Norwegian prison regime is very soft. I think he should be under psychiatric treatment because he can't stop being a bad influence, even on his children, or they should send him to hard labor, so that he can channel his anger through physical labor instead of the internet. Perhaps the girls who draw Varg romantically and the people who are big fans of him beyond his music do not specifically have his same ideologies, but they admire him in some way, and it is clear that his systematically offensive attitudes are not enough to stop them and scare them away I sincerely feel that they see him as a master. I see Varg as the typical cult leader, and I feel cringe at the adoration they profess of him. "i'm not saying that this particular artist is a bad person or that they're lying about their trauma or any bullshit like that, but art affects real life and the moment you post sth online you've opened yourself to criticism." What you said sums it up. I don't doubt that this girl could be harmless in real life, and that she has traumas and that her art and fanfics help her in her introspection. I fully believe her when she says it, but the debate does not end with whether something is therapeutic or not. It is up to her to choose what things to express her art on. She don't lack talent, why do you choose Varg? That's what's shocking, I mean, it's shocking that she brings Pelle into this and twists history to support her capricious ship and celebrate that more and more people join her ship. There you can see that she doesn't do it for herself, she wants more people to romanticize Varg and have the vision of Pelle that she has, which, in my opinion, is a bit humiliating and objectifying.

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I wanted to clarify why I said yesterday that I dislike the art of pairing Varg and Pelle. This post will be ridiculously long but I've been accused of hating an artist, a person I don't know, but i admit it: I can judge someone I don't know by their art and statements, or suspect things, and those thoughts define whether I take or leave that art. That's how art consumption works on many occasions, I guess.

I can't be blamed for thinking that someone who idealizes Varg (a neon4zi) is a shallow person. I mean, I think the engine of that ship is shallow. Maybe the development of that ship, in fanfics, is deeper, idk (I haven't read V/P fics). I can't just see Varg as a handsome and mentally bright musician, I see the whole picture and find it impossible to imagine tender feelings or a sincere and lasting attitude from him. Pelle, on the other hand, strikes me as a fragile person in his short life, someone who needed to be cared for and at the same time craved solitude. I don't know what Varg needs (besides permanent psychiatric assistance), but in terms of a partner, he is clearly looking for "a mother". Pelle is like an eternal boy, it's too much of a burden (and too much punishment) to take care of Varg. Varg is not a gem that needs polishing, but that's the intention I perceive. I'm not looking to cancel an artist, otherwise I wouldn't be here writing this justification of my opinion. I'm just saying that romanticizing a murderous neo-N4zi with a guy who had nothing to do with him or his ideologies and who was his victim's best friend seems very twisted to me and I want people to keep in mind what things they may be ignoring when they shipe something that looks visually pretty. Here we don't talk about appreciating talent, because that is beyond doubt.

I've said that some fanarts I find sadomasochistic. Drawings of them hugging, with Pelle full of scratches or Varg with long fingernails, like claws like wolf. That seems sadomasochistic to me. And I'm not saying it's wrong, objectively it doesn't seem wrong to me (I've written a fic where, briefly, Pelle uses his "immunity" to physical pain and plays with that and flirts with hurting tosomeone he likes because he can't bring himself to try another way to get close to him, and Pelle wants him to hurt him the same way, that's a bit sadomasochistic). I mean, at least what I perceive in one image, is that the pairing of them, Varg and Pelle, sounds to me like an aesthetic taste, a whim, something that looks cool but has nothing to do with real life events, and the real life events were tragic, so it may be worrying. Pelle was self-harming and Varg proved to be sadistic and violent. One was very emotionally hurt and expressed it by hurting himself, and I think Pelle didn't blame anyone for his problems, he handled it all on his own, as he could (he repressed it and that was bad for him) but, more or less, he did it alone. The other didn't think about his emotions and feelings. He was cold and had uncontainable violence and rancor towards certain ideologies and focused everything on one person. The incompatibility between them seems to me enormous. It's normal for fans who have a deep appreciation for Mayhem to be annoyed to see everything twisted. As I said, I find it visually painful. I haven't read the V/Pelle fics. I'm going to be biased and give my opinion without having read, but I think it's just looking to "save" Varg, to put Pelle as his therapeutic companion and savior. And, as I said, Varg doesn't deserve Pelle, and didn't want him anyway. Being blond and autistic (autistic=very smart person) is not reason enough to be compatible with Varg (because he wouldn't tolerate just any autistic, he would only tolerate the one who doesn't cause much trouble, who doesn't require much care). Varg can use someone like his wife, who is clearly a physically very strong woman, and smart, but manipulable and submissive in other aspects, the complete opposite of Pelle, who seemed physically fragile but with pride and intellectual autonomy. Not to mention she's a racist, that is not having very deep values, and Pelle doesn't give a shit about those things: nationality, racial purity... He loved the east more, what he idealized of the east, grotesque legends about inbreeding and vampires, come on, he liked freaks, not those who pretend to be perfect.

I may be too fond of Oystein and Pelle and I admit to having a crush on Euro for many reasons, but among them, for his political ideology, for his open mind in the 80's and 90's in an environment that is often closed and racist. For my part, I think Pelle and Euro's relationship is complex enough (and especially Pelle separately) to obsess and implement knowledge about psychology: autism, trauma, self-harm. etc. Maybe Varg is more interesting to other people, and that's fine, but Pelle is not a ball that goes from here to there. I am worried that new or naive people will believe that there was a friendship between them and a possible sympathy from Pelle towards Varg, come on, Pelle perceived Varg's falsehood. And Varg envied him, like a suspicious rival. To imply affection between them is to ignore the truth, perpetuate misinformation around Mayhem, and is also to minimize the seriousness of the murder. It is minimizing how poisonous Varg was and is and it is putting Pelle as someone, I don't know, naive and a disloyal friend towards Euro. And Euro deserves that? Maybe I take all this personally, but I believe that when you create art, you should care about the repercussion of your art. I'm not saying that you should always listen to the public and change your own views, but you should care about the ideas that you, in one way or another, propagate with your art and your literature, that's better than continually accusing everyone of not being smart enough to understand your ship based on real people that many of us appreciate and feel close to. Fics and excuses may be full of real facts about psychology. But I'm not interested in being like that, like Varg, accumulating pile of information in a technical way, I prefer knowledge to be combined with reality, with feelings. Another thing, I don't need anyone to say the benefits of creating art, literature, expressing ourselves in characters and addressing our traumas in this way. All types of art and work or activity can be therapeutic. Either doing nothing and just listening to music, or just thinking is therapeutic. It's not an excuse.

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drawing in process inspired by "Lenore, the cute little dead girl"

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