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I feel like in the rush of “throw out etiquette who cares what fork you use or who gets introduced first” we actually lost a lot of social scripts that the younger generations are floundering without.

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“Readers didn’t just become more efficient. They also became more attentive. To read a long book silently required an ability to concentrate intently over a long period of time, to ‘lose oneself’ in the pages of a book, as we now say. Developing such mental discipline was not easy. The natural state of the human brain, like that of the brains of most of our relatives in the animal kingdom, is one of distractedness. Our predisposition is to shift our gaze, and hence our attention, from one object to another, to be aware of as much of what’s going on around us as possible….For most of history, the normal path of human thought was anything but linear.

To read a book was to practice an unnatural process of thought, one that demanded sustained unbroken attention to a single, static object. It required readers to place themselves at what T.S. Elio, in Four Quartets, would call ‘the still point of the turning world.’ They had to train their brains to ignore everything else going on around them, to resist the urge to let their focus skip from one sensory cue to another. They had to forge or strengthen the neural links needed to counter their instinctive distractedness, applying greater ‘top-down control’ over their attention…What was so remarkable about book reading was that the deep concentration was combined with highly active and efficient deciphering of text and interpretation of meaning. The reading of a sequence of printed pages was valuable not just for the knowledge readers acquired from the author’s words but for the way those words set off intellectual vibrations within their own minds. In the quiet spaces opened up by the prolonged, undistracted reading of a book, people made their own associations, drew their own inferences and analogies, fostered their own ideas. They thought deeply as they read deeply.

…Reading a book was a meditative act, but it didn’t involve a clearing of the mind. It involved a filling, or a replenishing, of the mind. Readers disengaged their attention from the outward flow of passing stimuli in order to engage it more deeply with an inward flow of words, ideas, and emotions. That was—and is—the essence of the unique mental process of deep reading.”

- from The Shallows: What the Internet is Doing to Our Brains, by Nicholas Carr

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Understandably, I think Neal spends so much of his adult life really struggling with his sense of identity because of his father. He feels sort of doomed to be a criminal because of the fact that his father was a murderer, to not “do good,” but he’s also SO explicitly anti-harm that he’s able to be recognized as being good. He’s caught between the fear of being just like his father and his determination to be nothing like him, so he strives for no one to ever know what his father did but to prove his father wrong in every action he takes.

This is in part why Peter is shown to trust Neal so much from the start, because of this self-imposed morality.

Peter spends so long validating Neal’s “you can be good and do good,” side. He is Neal Caffrey’s #1 cheerleader on the path of change, it’s a critical part of their dynamic.

“You make a difference.” —Out of the Box

“You’re not him.…You did that. Christopher is free because of you.” -What Happens in Burma

Neal: “People don’t change overnight.” “I know…But they do change.” -Scott Free

And Neal runs with this, he trusts in Peter’s belief in him, in Peter’s support, in Peter’s dedication, to tell him about this thing he considers to be his hugely fatal flaw. Mozzie knows about it too, but Neal FULLY unpacks it for Peter, all the trauma, all the sadness, all the layers. No one knew he grew up in witsec, he had left that part of him in his past and, now in the pursuit of being more than that, he unpacks it all.

And not only does it blow up in his face, but it fundamentally changes Peter’s view of him. Peter near wholly gives up on the view of Neal being good.

“Someone with the right perspective. Someone who will see you as you are.” A criminal.

What James did to Peter wasn’t Neal’s fault, he was conned the entire time just like Peter ends up being, they both suffer the consequences of it, but Peter does come out blaming Neal. He comes out with such an altered perspective that it shatters the foundation they stood on, and the rest of the show is spent trying to find even ground as it crumbles away beneath them.

Neal’s actions to be not like his father no longer matter to the one person it was most critical to. The shades of grey Neal held himself in, that separated him from the truly bad guys, disappear. All the morality choices Neal had made, the line in the sand he drew for himself, the loyalty Peter had to his belief in Neal, are suddenly unimportant. Neal’s efforts to change, slowly but surely, feel futile, and his worst fears about himself all come true. He’s a criminal.

Just like his father. He is his father’s son.

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i’m reading emma thompson’s diaries from the filming of sense and sensibility and there are some really great bits

danny de vito sent good-luck flowers on their first day of shooting

in the published draft of the script, colonel brandon and willoughby fight a duel offscreen after brandon confronts him about impregnating beth, brandon’s ward

“kissing hugh [grant] was very lovely. glad i invented it. can’t rely on austen for a snog, that’s for sure. we shoot the scene on a hump-backed bridge. two swans float into shot as if on cue. everyone coos. ‘get rid of them,’ says ang [lee]. ‘too romantic.’

for a number of outdoor scenes, they would fire a shotgun in the air just before the cameras started rolling to get the local crow population to shut the fuck up for a few minutes

there was a dedicated line item in the budget for hiring flocks of sheep for exterior shots, ang lee was determined to use them as often as he could

“later found ang looking at the estuary with a mournful expression. i went and stood beside him. after a moment he said, waving towards the water, ‘tide goes in, tide goes out, tide goes in, tide goes out — and still no sex.’ ‘do you miss it?’ i enquired, after i’d stopped laughing. he nodded sadly. his family won’t be back for weeks.”

while filming the scenes at the palmers’ house with the screaming baby, it turns out that “we’ve hired the calmest babies in the world to play the hysterical thomas. one did finally start to cry but stopped every time chris yelled ‘action’. later: babies smiled all afternoon. buddhist babies. they didn’t cry once. we, however, were all in tears by 5 p.m.”

“very nice lady served us drinks in hotel and was followed in by a cat. we all crooned at it. alan [rickman] to cat (very low and meaning it): ‘fuck off’. the nice lady didn’t turn a hair. the cat looked slightly embarrassed but stayed.”

during the london ballroom scene hugh laurie kept treading on the train of imelda staunton’s gown, “which pulled it down so far it exposed her boobs. keep it in, i said, but she wouldn’t.”

“sunday, 11 june: drank far too much last night and woke at 5:30 a.m. could’ve gone on drinking all night. quite grateful for a hangover, it provides a bit of peace. walked on to my balcony completely naked last night and took the couple that have moved into the suite next door slightly by surprise. walked back in calmly affecting insouciance and then bit all my pillows, one after the other.”

while resetting a scene involving a carriage, “ang rode off on a bicycle and didn’t return. found him locked in the loo at trafalgar, having broken the key. he’s being rescued at present.”

“noon. finish scene with alan. me: ‘oh! i’ve just ovulated.’ alan (long pause): ‘thank you for that.’”

“hugh g. in a spot of bother up la, apparently. something to do with a blow job. it’s all right for some, i thought.”

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From a UK perspective, to become a qualified chiropractor, you must complete a 4 or 5 year university course which earns you a masters degree. It is not a small amount of training and it is heavily regulated.

BUT! It is not usually available on the NHS, and if it was viewed as a valid treatment option, it would be. There might be huge waiting lists but it would be offered.

Periodic reminder that you should never trust a chiropractor with your body under any circumstances

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Who We Are Now James May on running away, tantrums and metrosexuality. 25th March 2024

Right, so, I wanted to look something up and then I just had to transcribe this bit. They are talking about conventions and what men are and aren't supposed to do and how this has changed over time (or not). Slightly condensed, all mistakes are mine, corrections and thoughts welcome!

--- Richard: "I know you quite well, we've spent thousands of hours in each other's company, and I know your view of tantrums. And you're uncomfortable with the idea, you don't approve. But is that unmanly, is it unmasculine, are we not allowed to have a tantrum? I like a tantrum." Izzy: "You love a tantrum." James: "You love a tantrum more than I do, definitely. We've established that we are the reverse of each other's personalities. I think we worked that out quite recently, after twenty-three years of–" Richard: "After twenty-three gins!" James: "Yeah, possibly." Richard: "Possibly." James, trying to get back on topic: *stammers incoherently*. Richard, bringing them back on track like the pro he is: "Are men allowed to have a tantrum?" James: "I mean, probably, if it's justified. I mean the old-fashioned view is that men should be in control. But, I don't know, maybe it's quite good to let it out occasionally. I can't really do it. But like, you can. I remember Ben saying – that'd be Ben the cameraman on the show, this is – he says 'I could tell you were angry, James, because you became very articulate.' And I thought, oh, that's– Richard, laughing: "Wouldn't be good in a cage fight, would it?" James: "No, absolutely terrible. But probably quite good with the United Nations." Richard: "But you are quite a contrast in that (…). As a bloke, you are, sometimes… yeah, when you really lose your rag, you become articulate. That's James, he's lost it. Really losing, like: 'I'll write you a stiff letter'. And you are very much about control. And actually, I would, if you don't mind me saying, I'd say also often controlling and containing emotions. You can be a bit–" James: "I am emotional but keep them to myself. Richard: "You can be quite the ice man." James: "I don't want to embarrass people." Richard: "But you're als– Would people be embarrassed if you showed emotions?" James: "Probably." Richard: "I wou–" James: "I get a bit weepy at music and when I read poetry and things, but I do it by myself." Richard: "You've occasionally rounded off a phone call to me – accidentally I'm sure – being quite nice." James: "Have I?" Richard: "Yeah. You have. And I've never laughed. Or you've said… yeah, you've said I reckon in the last twenty years, you've said a good two or three quite nice things to me. And I've never gone: 'Hahaahaaaa, James is being nice!' Because there is a side of you that's a bit of a hippie, I would say." James: "Yeah, a little bit." Izzy: "Yeah you do give me the hippie vibes." Richard: "He is a hippie." James: "That's a terrible revelation, next I'll be using your first name." Richard: "Stiffen up now, steady on!"

Thoughts under the cut!

I remember listening to this the first time and how surprised I was by how open and ready they were (James, especially), to discuss such personal matters.

In this bit I feel like James does get a little uncomfortable, and he cuts Richard off when he seems to want to reassure him that he wouldn't find James's emotions embarrassing (we don't know, of course, but personally I think Richard was about to say "I wouldn't be" and oh, that would have been an interesting direction for the conversation to take!

I also would have loved to hear where the "You can be quite the iceman but you're also..." sentence would have gone if it hadn't been derailed by James revealing that he thinks his emotions are embarrassing to people.

But. I mean. The phone calls. James has accidentally rounded off phone calls to Richard saying... what exactly? 'Take care'? That doesn't seem enough to warrant Richard's careful wording. Oh... the potential!

Also, is it me or does Richard seem almost a little hurt that James obviously feels he can't show his emotions even to him?

And I have no idea what hippie-vibes have to do with anything, I just kept that part because Richard used it as an explanation?

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I have probably listened to this episode 15 times and yet I still stopped to read the transcription

Who We Are Now James May on running away, tantrums and metrosexuality. 25th March 2024 The other part I just had to transcribe out of this podcast episode is the story of how James and Richard developed superpowers after breaking into a building site. All mistakes mine, corrections welcome. Also, I promise, it's much funnier when they tell the story themselves, so go give it a listen!

Richard: "Right, here’s something else that men aren’t supposed to do, and I wanna talk about it, just cause I wanna remember the moment – and it was glorious, and I enjoyed it – and explore it with you, and then see, was that unmanly: Running away." Izzy: "Okay." Richard: "Because men aren’t supposed to run away." James: "Yes, I know where you’re going." Richard: "You know where I’m going?" James: "Yes." (…) Richard: "So, we were leaving a party. Was it that year when we went to every Motoring Industry Christmas Party?" James: "Yes, this is quite a long time ago and I can’t remember whose party it was but I can see the venue and yes, you take up, but the story so far is: we’ve been to a party." Richard: "Hammond and May leave the party. Somewhat the worse for wear but very jolly, very happy, and go skipping off through London and come across a building site. And we were discussing as we approached – and this could be a man-thing: neither of us can resist a building site. They are just the best, it’s got machinery, piles of gravel–" James: "Piles of sand that you can jump in–" Richard: "Yeees, scaffolding… It’s got everything you need. It’s like a deconstructed playground. It’s superb. And next thing we know, we’re in the building site. So, we’ve climbed over a fence or however we got in." James: "It was quite a well-guarded building site, because it was in town…" Richard: "…which made it all the more tempting. It called to us and our manly souls. Because we’re practical men. We can’t resist a site of building." James: "And we were adventurous." Richard: "Yeah, we were adventurous! And we were quite pissed. So. We get into the building site and we’re having a mooch about: ‘This is great, oh look at the scaffolding, and the concrete', and probably--" James: “Not– not doing, just to be absolutely clear, not–" Richard: "Just looking!" James: "Yeah, not vandalizing, we were not nicking stuff, we were just having–" Izzy: "Having a stare." James: "Having a stare, yeah, we were having a stare at the building site."

Richard: “But you couldn't take that to bed with you to stare at, you have to go to it to stare at, we were staring and having a lovely time staring at the building site and then we heard a proper comic-book… ah you won't know the Beano?" Izzy: "I've read the Beano, thank you." Richard: "Right. So, in the Beano, the park-y… the man who looks after the park, terrifying human being… a figure ran out from like a wooden box at the back of the building with a big jacket on, and shouted, perfectly enunciated: 'Oy!'. And it was a proper… I never heard 'oy'–" James: "No, it was a perfect 'Oy!', I wish someone had recorded it." Richard: "Yeah, it was really–" James: "'Cause you'd have it as a car horn or a ring tone. It was just a superb 'Oy!' Izzy: "Best 'Oy!'" Richad: "Yeah." Laughing. "We both turned on our heels and fled. We're in full Beano mode, now. Both of us sprinting off in slightly different directions, weren't we?" James: "Yes." Richard: "I don't know where you went, I lost–" James: "I don't know where you went. I think one of us probably said something like 'Yikes!'" Laughter all around. James: "And the 'Oy!' had the effect of– At that moment we were… so we're in our sort of forties then, I think, ahm…" Richard: "Thirties." James: "Maybe even… well, you might have still been in your thirties I would have been early forties, and we'd gone into the building site as grown men simply curious and wanting to have a look, no more than that. But as soon as the bloke came out of the hut in the darkness, this looming shape-shifting figure and did his 'Oy!', we suddenly became about eight years old." Richard: "Yeah." James: "Trespassing on the building site." Richard: "And we ran." James: "The answer is, yes, to run away." Richard: "I don't know how it was. 'Run away!' I don't know how you got out. James: "You know, I don't. Superpowers." Richard: "Well, it must have been, because there was no way out! I was running towards like the hoarding around the building site and it was high. And I was like I can't get over that. And I saw… if you imagine, just hoarding, which is wood, but then a third of the way up and two thirds of the way up was a horizontal rail holding it together. Leaning against the lower horizontal rail was a fork, the handle of which, as I sprinted towards it, running away from the 'Oy!', I thought: 'That's a foot rest!'" Izzy: "Oh my god." Richard: "If I can get a foot on there, I'll get a foot on the one on the right, I'll throw myself over the top. So I ran at it, in full Beano mode – hop, hop, two – over, landed on the pavement, and there were you, and I don't know how you got there." James: "I remember that I… I remember the fence, ahm… I can see it quite clearly, and I remember that I went over it, but I don't know how, as it was too high to get over." Richard: "It was about twelve feet high, I don't know how you did it." James: "And I don't know how we fell down the other side without breaking our ankles, but…" Richard: "…but then we might have run on a bit more." James: "Yeah, we ran on until we saw a taxi. Very brave." Richard: "And here's my question: Running away is not something men are supposed to do. But we did. And it was… brilliant?"

James: "It did feel fantastic. It knocked years off us. Cause that was… well, yes, I suppose people will say men are supposed to stand our ground, but. In the instant. When that terrifying figure emerged... as I was saying, we became about eight years old and as an eight-year-old you do run away because you're being bad. We weren't actually being bad. The weird thing is, if we just stood there and said: 'Alright, mate, sorry, we were just having a look at your building site' he would have probably thought 'Oh, okay' and then he would have said 'Didn't you use to be Richard Hammond' and we could have reasoned with him, you know, it would have been perfectly okay, but an old instinct kicked in. From, I suppose, when I was a kid and we did use to go over the building site and we did use to get chased off. All the time." Richard: "But it was so exciting, I can remember it distinctly to this day, the feeling." James: "Much better than the party." Richard: "Oh god, yes. Genuinely. I mean we must be talking best part of twenty years ago." Both together: "It's a long time." Richard: "But I still remember the feeling, the excitement, the thrill, the laughter…I don't think we'd ever laughed like that." James: "No." Richard: "We just howled." James: "And the genuine adrenaline rush, I would compare it with, ahm… sorry, slightly lengthy explanation, but… when we did the bit in the original Botswana Special and we camped at a clearing in some woods, next to the road, and there was a bit further down the road, about… a couple of hundred meters away, where there was another clearing where they were sort of mending the cars and doing odd jobs, and the guide who was with us, he said you can go down to the bit where they are mending the cars, but walk down to the road and walk along the road – when I say road: track – don’t walk through the woods, 'cause that's potentially dangerous. And we did that a few times, and then eventually I thought 'Oh, I can't be bothered, I'm just gonna go through the woods' and I got about two thirds, three quarters of the way through and I heard this thump-thump of an animal approaching behind me, and I'd never known an adrenaline rush like it. My head almost exploded. And Noah, that guy who was mending the cars for us, he said I came out of the woods so fast that I couldn't stop in the width of the clearing and I went into the next bit of woods and then I had to turn round and come out again. And I was saying there was something in there, I still don't know what it was. But that was a similar feeling–" Richard: "There were lions. 'Cause I remember, we heard lions later that night." James: "Yeah, they told us you shouldn't go in there." Richard: "'Cause there are lions." James: "Lions. But that was the same sort of feeling. So you get that burst of adrenaline and you think I must get away from this hideous threat which is a slightly overweight man who has probably been asleep for the last two hours." (…) Izzy: "Yeah, you could have reasoned with him, but you did also, like, launch yourself into a building site you were definitely not allowed to be on." James: "No, the fence suggested that we weren't supposed to go in there and the sign, that said 'Keep Out'". Izzy: "And you're running away because you know you've been naughty and you don't wanna get caught, I feel like that's why you thought you were an eight year old boy–" Richard: "Ah, no, because equally, I don't like being in trouble." James: "No, you don't. And that's something quite interesting here: You hate being in trouble." Richard: "Yeah, I do." James: Whereas I don't mind it – I mean I don't court it, but…I always think: Look, I'm a grown… I mean you can't tell me off, I'm grown-up. So just, you know. Sod off. Or, you know. Tell me what you want. But you still think you can be told off." Richard: "Yeah, I don't like being in trouble."

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Thank you for these- I hadn’t seen them before and I’ve just had a good read

Did Hammond really use to stay over at May during the early TopGear recordings?

That is indeed true, anon.

They knew each other before Top Gear, and in the early days, before Richard had a flat in London (and later, much later, a helicopter) and James and Sarah probably didn't live permanently together yet, Richard stayed over at James's between filming.

Please don't make me look up references, it's mostly bits and pieces here and there, mainly James's columns. But I think he talks about it here, too:

https://www.tumblr.com/ymas00/779776900172316673/james-mays-journeymkv?source=share

Hope the link still works, and everyone, please feel free to add sources and quotes! It would be fun to have a collection!

It's also true that James and Sarah have holidayed with the Hammonds in the South of of France, the Hammond family holidayed with the Clarkson family on the Isle of Man, and James stayed for about a week at Richard's after Top Gear ended. They are all good friends.

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I have some news for members of the united states armed forces who feel like they are pawns in a political game and their assignments being unnecessary.

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“My whole journey with Marvel was because of Scarlett trusting me and Scarlett wanting me to join her movie six years ago,” Pugh tells in support of the May 2 theatrical release of Thunderbolts*. “So I always miss her presence. It was such a mean thing … that [Black Widow] was the first and the last time I would get to experience this world with her. But I am genuinely always just hoping that she’s proud.”

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Losing your empathy, losing your imagination, and finding yourself alone are all connected.

Right-wing masculinity influencers are counting on book bans and banned words to shrink your heart and mind.

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She fully didn't watch the segment because Jon did a very nuanced, thoughtful segment. He drilled down to kids just wanting to have a community and have fun.

What these TERFS are pissed off about is that he showed how disingenuous y'all are when you go "omg that trans athlete hit a ball really hard and it hurt a cis women" because when you look into it cis women even on their team hit harder then them. Because he pointed out that cis girls harm each other in sports all the damn time. He pointed out that when there was a bill to protect cis women athletes against sexual predators like coaches. Y'all decided not to pass that while passing an anti-trans bills all while claiming you just care about protecting women.

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I think mostly what young fandom types (and I guess younger people in general) who are very very invested in the idea that “20 is still basically a minor” need to understand is that the feeling of “I’m just a child pretending to be an adult, and everyone else around me is a REAL adult” is DEEPLY universal (and won’t stop, ever, by the way, sorry!) and also is not, like, praxis.

Believe me, I get it, but the self-infantilization needs to stop, especially when you’re trying to engage in conversations about actual children and the harms they can face. Yes, it is scary to wake up and realize you’re 22 and you still feel like you’re 15, but it happens to all of us. You’re an adult. You have to deal with it.

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“Crying does not indicate that you are weak. Since birth, it has always been a sign that you are alive.”

— Charlotte Brontë

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(X)

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THIS IS NOT REAL. If you get this comment, they’re just trying to get you to delete your fic.

1) I would have gotten some kind of email from Ao3 if this was true

2) this comment is formatted to be perfect to tack onto any fic they choose

3) ALSO why on earth would Ao3 get rid of entire fandoms off the site? Even if they WERE inactive? Who knows if others will be ‘late’ to the fandom and want some fic to read. Who knows if someone wants to come back to their 6 year old account only to find most of their fics deleted.

I’m lucky to be a reasonable adult who has seen tricks like these who also had a very kind person comment their own doubts.

Please let your Ao3 friends know <3

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I love this though, because everyone has baggage and things they’re dealing with, but most people also have jobs and relationships and hobbies. There’s no contradiction at all here, and it makes the character more interesting and relatable.

As media consumers we’re just not used to seeing human complexity packaged in this specific way, and honestly, the fact he’s a series regular but only has about 8 episodes really focused on him probably made this way of portraying him possible.

Robert Chase lore is like "my father left me, I had to take care of my abusive alcoholic mother and baby sister, I drank and experimented with drugs in my teen years, my sister became an alcoholic like our mother and we havent spoken in years, I wanted to be a priest but I struggled with guilt and faith after being caught sleeping with the groundskeeper's wife. " And then on the other end of this spectrum it's like "i really like bowling , im a licensed hypnotist , and i like to surf."