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thank you drusilla for being the freak to introduce me to transylvanian concubine !!

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ANGEL THE SERIES └ 2.10 "Reunion"

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JULIET LANDAU as DRUSILLA“Do you love my insides? The parts you can’t see?”

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Drusilla <3

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Juliet Landau as Drusilla in Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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i don't like it when spike is written to not comprehend dru, i don't mind it a lot if say, he's really upset/frustrated/distracted/etc because he's never really good at thinking/communicating then but like... just on a normal basis. he's a poet and she talks A LOT in poetic/abstract/metaphoric terms. she picked him out explicitly to match her well and because his heart and his mind where his strong points. if anyone can IMMEDIATELY clock what she's saying it's him. especially after a century together, he absolutely comprehends her language by that point and can communicate with her on her own terms when needed. most of the time he replies in "plain english" as part of grounding her to the now but he can whip out the cryptic speak when needed to convey things to her.

but yeah basically sprusilla alien to alien communication is 10000% real.

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spike being the most relatable villain ever because yes. i would also fuck up the world and bring immeasurable evil into it. for her.

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i know some people want to see dru get a soul bc she's one of the more sympathetic vampires and to many "soul + vampire = good vampire we're allowed to like and root for" but i cannot think of ANYONE to whomst that would be a crueler fate for.

we're talking about someone who's WHOLE FAMILY WAS MASSACRED, who was DEEPLY RELIGIOUS, who was DESPERATE to be a good person, who was SEXUALLY, PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY ABUSED FOR DECADES and committed acts like CHILD MURDER. she would fucking try to kill herself like, IMMEDIATELY. she'd just run out into the sun and end it all. she's already in such catastrophically bad shape, she's still angry and upset about her family's murders as a vampire. if anything being a demon with no concepts of human morality or emotion is the only thing keeping her psyche held together at this point. killing her would be kinder than giving her a soul dude.

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for all the amicability in the whirlwind later on i think it's really important to never lose sight of why dru was turned and then why she in turn sired spike. she was tortured and turned for angelus' enjoyment, her continued suffering brings him pleasure. he owns her, she is a Thing to him and she has no way to escape this. she makes spike to be "her brave knight" a position that, especially in fairytales, means a very romantic man physically protects and serves a woman who is usually gonna end up being some kind of damsel in distress.

while yes dru is evil and a vampire she's still obviously very upset about what happened to her and those moments seem to be her times of lucidity, not delusion. not to mention that she's already been beaten out of the notion that she can escape angelus, she tried to as a human and it didn't work, it likely won't work now either, especially if darla sides with him. but with spike around there's someone who basically always takes her side and fights to keep angelus away from her. who is, at least, a buffer between her and her tormentor. he also takes care of her and validates her, something neither darla or angelus seem to be interested in doing at all.

i feel like people tend to intellectually remember what happened to her but forget that it you know, has long lasting consequences when say, they evaluate her behavior in late s2 when angelus comes back. like... yeah ofc she goes back to appeasing him and shit. spike's a wheelchair and she was beaten into shape to be "daddy's little girl" (gag) YEARS before she even MET spike. her abuser is back and her defender is out of commission not to mention her whole view of reality has been actively warped by the most narcissistic sleezoid around.

and all the reasons why people love spike or point to as why he's better with buffy or whatever.... dru was the one who saw those first and picked him because of those. like... it's wild to see people act like they spent a loveless century together and spike was just used the whole time when we SEE them literally in love, he states MULTIPLE times she means so much to him and we get an OUTSIDE SOURCE CONFIRM THEY HAVE "AFFECTION AND JEALOUSY FOR EACH OTHER". we have the spike we know of today because drusilla saw the hero in him and wanted him to rescue her. and ya know, he kinda did. multiple times. over a century of deep, mutual horrifying love. you only even GET spike and buffy in the same ROOM because he loved dru so much he saved her from a mob, traveled with her across a continent (maybe 2 depending on direction) and over an ocean for even a SHOT at a cure. like... cMON.

this got a little off topic into some of my pet peeves but also kinda not because just-- i don't think people always remember that dru is still a victim and a victim who was intentionally frozen the moment of maximum despair and internal destruction. then spent about 20 years being groomed by her tormentor before she ever had anyone care about her as a priority. i think people tend to forget that it was angelus who wanted to turn spike into a monster and drusilla who wanted him to be a hero. it's dru who gives him his swagger, his confidence, his love for life, who encouraged his romanticism and adored his poetics. it's not that she groomed or built him, but just that she saw all that potential already in there and facilitated it and nurtured it. sure in a fucked up vampire way but still.

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BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER

2.09 | “What's My Line?: Part 1”

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I know Drusilla is often unintentionally vague in her wording, speaking in riddles for others to unravel…but it still makes me laugh to have that one scene in season 2 when she’s speaking of a great unknown evil power to come, that we know is Acathla, and this interaction goes down:

Angel, impressed at her foresight: wow you can see all that?

Drusilla: (smiles enigmatically)

Spike, sarcastically in the corner: no you ponce, she read the front page (holds up newspaper)

It’s a funny little moment that speaks to Angel’s trust in her visions, but also Spike’s ability to know when she’s bullshitting, and Drusilla’s ability to play on the expectations of her madness even when she’s lucid.

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I WILL BEAR MYSELF TO PEOPLE AUTHENTICALLY EVEN IF IT COULD LEAD TO EMBARRASSMENT AND POSSIBLE REJECTION FOR DEEPER MORE MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIPS

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I WANNA FEEL IT - I BET ON LOSING DOGS

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on being a dog, being eaten by dogs, needing like a dog, losing like a dog

i bet on losing dogs, melody chua / the odyssey, homer (trans. by emily wilson) / l’oublié! (forgotten), émile betsellère / you want it darker, leonard cohen / i’m your man, mitski / jezebel eaten by dogs, aurelia de sousa / 1 kings 21:19 / roadside attractions with the dogs of america, ada limón / i bet on losing dogs, mitski