evil-siphonophore

[evil-siphonophore]

which 3 US presidents do you think would be the best omegas and which 3 bisexual pop stars would be their best matched alphas

1) John Adams

John Adams was a tireless advocate for the revolution (i.e. topping from the bottom) and he once described himself as "obnoxious, suspected, and unpopular" - "he was known for his bluntness, impatience, and tendency to be easily frustrated with those who disagreed with him." As a brat in Congress, his personality was repulsive, but everyone listened to him and they all still wanted him. They wanted him so bad they made him president. Kind of makes you think.

His match:

Adams needs someone with a strong personality to challenge his - someone who's not afraid to repel the mainstream in order to realize their vision. Gaga has it, and he needs it. "Bad Romance" in many way encompasses Adams' struggles through the 1776 Continental Congress. They could teach each other much.

2) Theodore Roosevelt

A man dedicated to the preservation of natural parks and ecological wonders - and for what? To run through the trees under the full moon as his pheromones wafted through the air? We know.

His match:

Grimes once described herself as becoming "way less gay" after she became pregnant, which is 1) weird, and 2) the reason I'm sticking her with Teddy. I don't think that he could fix her completely, but she seems the type to maintain no moral compass of her own, simply adopting the political ideology of whomever she's with, so maybe there's hope. Maybe Grimes could introduce Teddy to shrooms, and Teddy could take her out on trips in the forest. And then we can find out if Grimes getting a man pregnant makes her more or less gay.

3) Richard Nixon

Best known for his one legendary debate with the handsome JFK, wherein he became a stuttering, sweating mess, unable to focus or say what he meant. Interesting!

His match:

Bisexual icon Taylor Swift is also struggling to appease both sides of the political aisle. They could share their woes and their love of good ol' fashioned Americana, and then Taylor could tie him to the wall and make him bark like a dog. The pregnancy would be difficult on both of them with Taylor's extremely busy schedule, and Nixon would regrettably terminate it in the second trimester, causing a rift in the relationship that would never be mended. The resulting laments that Taylor composed about Nixon's abortion would of course be dissected and attributed to a secret relationship with a woman - Nixon's wife.

I welcome critical analysis.

[evil-siphonophore]

who up deviling they minion or whatever

[evil-siphonophore]

thinking about amc armand not being sure what his birth name is, coming from a diverse and multicultural area and not knowing exactly what faith his family had practiced, not being certain exactly what language had been spoken in his house, not being able to say whether he had had siblings and what they had been like, not being able to pick his parents out of a crowd or even say whether they had sold him away or lost him. thinking about armand spending centuries in a land so culturally different from his own that very few things would spark recognition or memory from that past life. thinking about armand not being able to place why something is familiar, armand not being sure if a memory belongs to him or to someone he's killed

[evil-siphonophore]

HBD MY BELOVED DON’T BE AFRAID JUST START THE TAPE!!!

[evil-siphonophore]

Cocaine Slug (poster, 2025, unreleased)

[evil-siphonophore]

studying the texts intensely

[evil-siphonophore]

loumand is great because there's a guy who was chosen for this role specifically because he's so beautiful that renaissance painters would have lined up to paint him, there's a guy who was chosen for this role specifically because he's so beautiful that centuries-old vampires would have fallen in love with him instantly, and then these two guys repeatedly make out with each other on your tv screen. what more can we ask from life.

[evil-siphonophore]

drawing fem armand being mean with daniel for first time but its okay bc i draw they hugging too

[evil-siphonophore]

[evil-siphonophore]

greta was time's person of the year a few years ago. she was adored by all liberal world leaders and parties. and when she learnt about people's struggle under occupation and colonialism, she stood in solidarity with them . she now stands with palestine and armenia and kashmir and every oppressed person in the world. she could have been rich as fuck by simply remaining as a climate activist. yet she chose to do the right thing. i love her for her integrity.

[evil-siphonophore]

daniel pretending to be straight for 40 years with a man's bite mark on his neck permanently on display.... EMBARRASSING

oh, daniel 😔 @natandacat was just talking about how much ptsd he’d have from the bite - you tell people a vampire attacked you, maybe you bring a girl home, she starts kissing the bite mark to get you going…suddenly, you’re right back in that room that slants to the north

[evil-siphonophore]

guts, roots & wires are all the same thing

[evil-siphonophore]

never stop making fledglings! this one could finally be the one. project your deep-rooted insecurities onto them - fill them with your poison. mold them in your image. keep the cycle alive! never stop.

[evil-siphonophore]

MANIC PIXIE DREAM TERRORIST one of my favorite kinds of boy

Just watched V for Vendetta for the first time and guys, im losing it. Not because it was good, bc of fucking course it was, just as good as everyone always told me it was, but because in all the discussion I've heard about this movie over the years, no one ever prepared me for the fact that plot of the first half sounds like a Tiktok-bait dark romance novel. What if you were a beautiful young Natalie Portman orphan and you were attacked by bad guys, but were saved at the last moment by a mysterious masked manic pixie dream terrorist who ends up sort of accidentally kidnapping you for your own safety and locking you in his undergound hideout, except did i mention he's also clearly extremely rich and well-read and the curator of an unofficial museum of forbidden culture and art, and when he's not out murdering fascists or dorkily sword-fighting a suit of armor he's showing you his favorite black and white movies and cooking you breakfast in a frilly apron? What then? I mean sure, the months of psychological prison torture were a bit much, but let's be real, Colleen Hoover love interests have done worse

[evil-siphonophore]

never stop making fledglings! this one could finally be the one. project your deep-rooted insecurities onto them - fill them with your poison. mold them in your image. keep the cycle alive! never stop.

[evil-siphonophore]

i unironically think that the resurgence of mustache culture has brought about a male slut era that is in many ways still in its infancy but is growing day by day. hemlines are getting shorter, chest hair is growing back, tops are cropped. gone are the dark, dark days when the sluttiest thing a man could do was roll up the sleeves of his button up office shirt. we are returning to the light of mustache rides and teeny tiny swim shorts. amen.

[evil-siphonophore]

love to see a random post where someone’s like “ok I’m finally gonna watch nbc Hannibal” because I know in my soul they’re either about to give up at the mushroom episode and move on with their lives like a regular person OR develop an all-consuming, bone-deep fixation that they will never fully recover from