evilhardboiledegg

[evilhardboiledegg]

Lying to someone about how risky something is to make it seem safer than it is because you know they wouldn't do it if they knew it was dangerous: Shitty. Evil. Unforgivable.

Lying to someone about how risky something is to make it seem more dangerous than it is because you know they'd love the thrill of danger while you know you're actually perfectly safe: Actually that's hilarious. Fun for everybody involved.

[evilhardboiledegg]

The best compliments and insults are both just describing the person. Just describe whatever you can clearly observe about them. The distinction of whether that's an insult or a compliment is whether you're saying it with a pleasant tone, or if you're saying that like it's a bad thing.

Children, who make their observations in an utterly deadpan voice as neutral remarks, are capable of obliviously roasting people because they haven't noticed this.

[evilhardboiledegg]

hate when someone asks how are you and you say good how are you and they say "oh not so great" or something. it's always like ohh okay i see we're being honest i thought we were playing pretend. can i have a do-over

[evilhardboiledegg]

“i also choose this guy’s dead wife” was easily the #1 funniest thing to ever be written on the internet.

[evilhardboiledegg]

Little tribute to this drama queen ❤️

[evilhardboiledegg]

[evilhardboiledegg]

does anyone else feel me. can anyone hear me in here.

[evilhardboiledegg]

Here’s something I’ve been working cuz I played the original Mass Effect trilogy again and I’m coping (I’m not 😭😭😭) also I’ve been listening to this song by Linkin Park and it fits so well iykyk 😪

This isn’t officially finished, but I thought I’d share it half done cuz I slapped some random colors on there and I thought it was cool lmao ✌️😏

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[evilhardboiledegg]

i want to be devoured by the Earth

Hey you all know about that fungus that possesses ants to make them climb on the tip of grass blades in hopes of getting eaten by a cow, so that the fungus can continue its life cycle in the cow's guts? Because I think that's the kind of thing that's wrong with cave divers.

We don't know what's down there. We don't know what's gotten into their heads that makes them so determined to physically, personally go down there to find out. But I wouldn't entirely dismiss the possibility that whatever has gotten into them is very invested in getting eaten by whatever is down there.

[evilhardboiledegg]

Had a dream last night that i was a knight and this bigger scarier knight had me on the ground and right before he swung his sword at my neck he said smth like "i mourn the loss of life for the tree who will become your coffin" which shouldnt have turned me on like it did but alas

[evilhardboiledegg]

fuck i can’t believe i wasted my entire life being moved by art and beauty and the indomitable human spirit ugh i should’ve been making money through internet scams

[evilhardboiledegg]

i had a dream i worked in an underwater restaurant and people kept ordering ice in their drinks and then getting mad at me when it would float away. and i’d tell them beforehand that the ice would float away & they’d be like lol no that’s not how it works just give me the ice. I’m fighting customer service battles never seen before

[evilhardboiledegg]

Shepard and Garrus

[evilhardboiledegg]

A massive grouper (toilet on the left for scale) 

(via)

[evilhardboiledegg]

obsessed with how fixable society is, on a structural level.

obsessed with how all you need to do is throw money at public education and eliminate most standardized testing and you will start getting smarter, more engaged, kinder adults. obsessed with how giving people safe housing, reliable access to good food, and decent wages dramatically reduces drug overdoses and gun violence. obsessed with how much people actually want to get together and fix infrastructure, invent new ways of helping each other, and create global ways of living sustainably once you give them livable pay to do so. obsessed with how tracking diseases, developing medicines, and improving public health becomes so much easier when you just make healthcare free at point of use.

obsessed with how easy it all becomes, if we can just figure out how to wrench the wealth out of the hands of the hoarders.

[evilhardboiledegg]

no i don't want you to redirect me to your app i want to look at recipe

[evilhardboiledegg]