evilwizard

[evilwizard]

You have summoned two dogs

one will greet you happily, the other shall judge your fashion choices

yessss!! thank you for the sight of these great beasts

[evilwizard]

All twelve sacred beasts will defend me from economic uncertainty

[evilwizard]

they fucking ruined the word minion. the whole word, ruined, forever. they spent a billion dollars to change the meaning and ruin the word forever. there should be a class action lawsuit

[evilwizard]

I put a bunch of normies in a jar and made them fight until there was only one left. And yes I can command his spirit with offerings of gold and silver.

[evilwizard]

the number of swords with incredibly hyperspecific powers in Arthuriana really delights me:

Then they girded on a sword: it was such a sword that any woman in labor — even if her life hung in the balance — would be delivered of her child at once if struck on the head with the flat of the naked blade.

— First Percival Continuation, Nigel Bryant translation

this is just a sword that Gawain is using for normal quest stuff btw

[evilwizard]

Nothing Doing no. 17

[evilwizard]

if ur gonna be pressed into service by your liege lord, u want to be the swiftest rider. get good at horses, because they're always sending the swiftest rider off to do some other shit that is, crucially, away from the battlefield. I'm telling u. when ur forces are outnumbered and the enemy legions show up with some unexpected advantage, someone in command is gonna say, "send the swiftest rider to alert the queen!!!" that's u. u want to be that guy

[evilwizard]

B

[evilwizard]

what do you mean they lost it??

the market is pretty tumultuous right now, but not to worry! i have some Wizard Investment tips for you. for instance—if you’ve got the funds for it, real estate is almost always a safe bet. personally i bought a timeshare in Atlantis some 7,000 years ago, and i can’t wait to see what kind of dividends it’s paid off!

[evilwizard]

no. the volcano?

the market is pretty tumultuous right now, but not to worry! i have some Wizard Investment tips for you. for instance—if you’ve got the funds for it, real estate is almost always a safe bet. personally i bought a timeshare in Atlantis some 7,000 years ago, and i can’t wait to see what kind of dividends it’s paid off!

[evilwizard]

the market is pretty tumultuous right now, but not to worry! i have some Wizard Investment tips for you. for instance—if you’ve got the funds for it, real estate is almost always a safe bet. personally i bought a timeshare in Atlantis some 7,000 years ago, and i can’t wait to see what kind of dividends it’s paid off!

[evilwizard]

im getting astral plane war propaganda

[evilwizard]

hey i saw you across the room at the devil's sacrament and loved your vibe

[evilwizard]

hi guys as some of you know my son who just turned 2 (!!) is going through cancer treatment. Next week we start 6 weeks of radiotherapy which will be daily and will require us to stay in central London which is insanely expensive. Financial support from the government for families who can’t work because of serious illnesses like this is available but takes 25 weeks to process so that won’t happen until at least June / July. I’m in desperate need of help as I can barely afford my bills yet to feed myself and other unavoidable expenses

If anyone can help at all my p4yp4l is here

Thanks love u ❤️

[evilwizard]

we need to stand up stop being ashamed of our lightning powers and start killing people with them indiscriminately

[evilwizard]

Now I’m not much of a tea leaves reader. What does it mean when my tea leaves are shaped like a gun shooting a clearly identifiable picture of me?

[evilwizard]

I sent you omens and all kinds of signs please respond