evilwizardbasil

[evilwizardbasil]

This minecraft short comic called "A strange Coast" made by Ian Flynn I believe, I found in a book from my library I work has to be one of the most beautiful and respectful takes on the game.

It understands minecraft so perfectly and doesn't treat it as childishly as the other stories in it did.

And all that within 10 pages and no word spoken.

[evilwizardbasil]

Hey. You post a lot of great stuff about Carry On. Can you talk about the biting in AWTWB. The Baz/Simon scenes.Trying to wrap my head around it to understand why Simon did that. Why he bites Baz and keeps biting. Bites his fangs through his cheek. Is it because Simon wants to be bitten? That he wants Baz so much and Baz can't be harmed? I'm really trying to understand it but . . . what do you think?

Anon, thank you for this ask, and also for liking whatever I'm doing on my blog.

Can I talk about the biting? You bet I can!

Why does Simon bite Baz? Is it because he wants to be bitten? In a word, yes! But of course, there's a lot more to it than that. And this went off in another direction than I thought it would, so I hope you can stick with me on this journey! Under the cut because it’s a bit long.

There is a motif running throughout the trilogy of love being a consuming force. So much of Simon and Baz's identities are tied up in hunger very early on: Baz, as a vampire, constantly craving blood; Simon, as the Humdrum, constantly sucking up magic; both of them starved of love and intimacy. There's also a lot of fire imagery, going all the way back to when they first met, and fire is another consuming force.

Simon and Baz are obsessed with each other. The only thing they think about is each other. ("Trying not to think about you…S'like trying not to think about an elephant that's standing on my chest.") They are consumed and they want to consume, and, at least in Simon's case, they want to be consumed.

In WS, Simon reflects on misunderstanding his feelings for Baz prior to eighth year, and the way he does it has always stuck out to me: "I thought about him all the time. I missed him so much in the summer. (I thought I was just lonely. I thought I was hungry. I thought I was bored.)" The second item on that list is what catches my attention. Simon missed Baz and he thought he was hungry. I think it says a lot about how Simon's love for Baz feels if he mistakes it for actual hunger.

In the biting scene you mentioned, Simon says to Baz: "If it were me, if I were you…I'd drain you fuckin' dry, Baz, and it still wouldn't be enough." That's intense. And it's absolutely Simon. We know how much hunger he's capable of; his hunger was so potent, it became a whole other being! I've long maintained that his hunger for magic is a metaphor for his hunger for love. Because Simon is so full of love, and just utterly bereft of people to give it to, and once he has people to love, he doesn't know how to do it without also hurting them. He's never had good relationship modeling. (He thinks Baz should know he loves him because of how many things he's killed for him.—He thinks about teaching Baz how to break someone's neck like it's a fun couples' activity.—He gets turned on by killing things and watching Baz kill, too.—Date night is helping Baz hunt down rats.) Simon is a mess. He wants to love so badly, but he just doesn't know how to do it. ("Is this what people do?")

Simon loves Baz so much, he can't fathom ever getting enough of him. Ever being able to consume enough of him. He can't stop biting and smelling and grabbing because he wants more, more, more. He fits his teeth over Baz's old scars because he needs to claim him—make his own mark on Baz, possess him.

Part of this, as you said, is the fact that Baz is a vampire. Baz can take the roughness (which is not to say that he should just because he can). Simon's fixation on Baz's vampirism, which used to play out as paranoia, has changed into a desire to be bitten. Simon is thinking about Baz's vampirism, thinking about draining Baz dry if he were the vampire, and Baz, the human.

The other part of this is that Simon is unfettered, but really only in the aggressive, physical sense. He's long hidden his desires behind aggression without realizing that's what he was doing. (In CO: "I just want to run him down and knock him over and figure it all out." In AWTWB: "I wanted to jump on you, I didn't really think past that.") He doesn't know how to be unfettered in the vulnerable, emotional sense, and that's what keeps him from being able to be intimate with Baz. ("I don't know how, Baz…To get enough.")

Simon desperately wants to have sex with Baz. Which is what he's trying to do in the biting scene, but all of his desires are warring for control, and he can't sort out what he wants, and what he should be doing in that moment, with Baz.

What this is all leading me to may be a bit off topic, but I think it's all tied up in Simon's head.

Simon doesn't know how to be gentle.

His hunger and his desire for Baz have never been gentle. It's aggression, it's violence, it's possession; it's a forest fire, it's not a hidden waterfall.

Simon has never learned how to be at peace. In a recent interview with Vanity Fair, Rainbow said she made Simon "fight of flight"—literally, he has wings! There's a reason that Simon couldn't handle the inaction at the beginning of CO and before the events of WS. There's a reason that Penelope thought that they were "being lulled" because there was no war actively being waged. There's a reason Penelope tells us in WS: "Lesson learned: Relaxation is the most insidious humdrum." These are characters who are so traumatized by childhoods being foot soldiers in a war waged by the adults they trusted, they don't know how to live without fighting! They don't know how to live in peace.

We all have "I can touch you less gently, but I won't love you less kindly" burned into our eyeballs by now, but let's move earlier in that conversation to what sparks this: "What if I asked you to be less kind to me?" —What if I asked you to be less kind to me?— Simon doesn't feel comfortable with Baz's kindness or gentleness, because it "makes me feel like I'm being turned inside out. Like I need to get away." Let's sit with this for a bit. Baz's loving touches make Simon want to run because they're kind and gentle and he doesn't know what to do with kind and gentle. His mind isn't programmed for kind and gentle.

It makes complete sense that Simon would show Baz affection in a way that Simon understands, considering, as I said before, that he hasn't had anyone in his life to show him a healthy way to do this. What does Simon most want from Baz? Love. What does Simon understand love to be? Consumption. He wants roughness and aggression, he wants the inferno, because these are things he understands.

Simon wants Baz's teeth, so he gives Baz his teeth.

This is how Simon feels comfortable. I made this post while processing my feelings about AWTWB. It talks about Simon trying to love Baz the way he wants to be loved, and Baz trying to love Simon the way he wants to be loved. They want to give each other everything, but they haven't actually communicated their needs to one another, and that's what keeps them from being able to work through their problems. It isn't until they voice their needs that they're able to be intimate. This is what I'm really trying to get at here.

"Is this what people do?" Simon asks, over and over again. When Simon was in therapy, he learned a technique to break up "life into bites you can swallow". He tells us he's doing this again in AWTWB "because [the future] is too terrifying. Too uncertain. There are parts of it that are too bright." —There are parts of it that are too bright.— Simon doesn't know how to be happy. He doesn't know how to cope with happiness. "Is this what people do when they're in love? Do they just keep touching and talking? And then what? Like what is it all leading to? I don't mean sex, I mean… If I knew what I meant, it wouldn't be so frightening." When Simon is having all these overwhelming feelings about his future with Baz, they're on the Tube, and Simon sees a guy giving him and Baz "a dirty look". He interrupts his introspective on therapy to tell us that he wants the guy to cause trouble "because I would dearly love to punch something right now. That's a decision I could wrap my brain around." He can wrap his brain around punching someone, but not around a bright future with the man he loves.

Simon doesn't know how to be at peace. He doesn't know how to be in love. He doesn't know how to be happy. I think this is what we're seeing at play when he bites Baz. He wants something so badly, but he doesn't know what it is, can't articulate it, can't get at it. In a way, when he bites Baz, Simon is trying to ask for what he wants, without words, and without really knowing what it is that he does want.

He can't figure out how to let himself be happy and feel good while being happy. He can't stand gentleness, or softness. In his head, he can't give that to Baz, because he can't handle it himself.

So, yes, Simon bites Baz because he wants to be bitten. And he bites Baz because he knows Baz can handle it. And he bites Baz because there's an emptiness inside of him that he's still trying to fill, and he doesn't understand how to do that. Someday, he will fill it. He and Baz are going to figure that out together.

I hope this makes sense. With your indulgence, Anon, I'm going to tag in @theflyingpeach who is all around brilliant, and I know has their own thoughts about this scene (and demon Simon 👀👀👀) that I would like to see more of. 🥰

A follow up to this ask can be found here.

Further reading on the relationship between consumption, food, and love compiled here.

[evilwizardbasil]

Happy 5 Year Anniversary to Carry On by @rainbowrowell

There are no words to express my love and appreciation for these books, so I hope this piece suffices 💛💙

[evilwizardbasil]

Hello! Here's another sequential based on the Simon Snow trilogy books by @rainbowrowell. This one is a scene from Wayward Son in Chapter 21 when Simon and Baz are messing around with foam swords at a renaissance fair during their trip to America.

Thanks to the patient Snowbaz fans who leave very kind comments on my previous Simon Snow fanart, hope you enjoy this one!

[evilwizardbasil]

Currently obsessed with the Simon Snow trilogy and couldn’t help but doodle a BUNCH of Simons and Bazes. This batch is based on Carry On, the first book in the series :)

[evilwizardbasil]

remember when into the spiderverse came out and ppl on here couldn’t support it unless it had a ship so they resorted to making pig x spidernoir yaoi

[evilwizardbasil]

A new COVID-19 vaccine, developed by researchers from the Texas Children’s Hospital and Baylor College of Medicine, is being offered patent-free to vaccine manufacturers across the world. Human trials have shown the vaccine to be safe and effective, with India already authorizing its use as production ramps up to over 100 million doses per month. The vaccine has been named Corbevax and it is based on a traditional protein-based technology that has been safely used for decades. Like other COVID-19 vaccines, Corbevax focuses on the coronavirus spike protein, but instead of using mRNA to direct our cells to produce those spike proteins internally it delivers lab-grown spike proteins to the body. The researchers took the gene that codes for the spike protein and engineered yeast to produce it. These proteins are collected, purified, and combined with an adjuvant to enhance immune responses. This exact method has been used to produce the hepatitis B vaccine for years. “Protein-based vaccines have been widely used to prevent many other diseases, have proven safety records, and use economies of scale to achieve low-cost scalability across the world,” says Maria Elena Bottazzi, one of the lead researchers on the project.

[evilwizardbasil]

im just crying while scrolling through the mfa's digitized 18th century drawings which include a really soft and loving drawing of a baby snoozing thats titled "the artist's daughter" thats just radiating love, and also some very weird German birth certificates from a town in Pennsylvania that a man in 1771 painted mermaids and flowers and lions on

there's just something about these acts of love through art, man... they're really getting me tonight.

[evilwizardbasil]

Young Pepa to herself: Finding a frog under my pillow, Julieta saying she hates me, Bruno saying he hates me, tripping and falling and having everyone see and make fun of me...

Young Félix: ....What are you doing?

Young Pepa: The farmers need rain and me being sad and crying is the best way for me to get rain without also bringing lightning. All of my hair falling out, being alone forever, having to wear colors that clash with my hair....

Young Félix, about to cement himself as Pepa's new best friend (and Bruno and Julieta's favorite person): Has no one ever tried just... Making you laugh so hard you cry?

[evilwizardbasil]

Reblog this to prove your blog was made before the February 2022 tumblr resurgence

[evilwizardbasil]

seeing this made me feel like i just got a letter informing me of my own death

[evilwizardbasil]

anyway since pride month is coming up and my local barnes and nobey has once again decided to only put young adult books in their corporate mandated rainbow display, y'all want some queer reading recs that aren't YA?

[evilwizardbasil]

Headcanon that Hernando and Jorge were impressions that Bruno used to do to entertain his nieces and nephews, who thought they were FANTASTIC. “It’s actually me!!” is exactly what you’d say to a baby you’re pretending with.

Bruno meeting fifteen-year-old Mirabel for the first time since she was five: Oh I know what she’s gonna LOVE

Mirabel: ?????????????????

[evilwizardbasil]

Happy Holidays!🥳💕

Have you seen the movie “Encanto”? If not then anything with Jiang Cheng is fine 🎊

If Alma had been anything less, then Encanto would not have survived. Alma did not just receive a miracle, but she has to perform one too. She had to lead their new village and settle their people all while raising her three children without the love of her life. If Alma had been an inch softer, an ounce more unyielding, all would have been lost.

Casita knows this. Casita loves her.

But the circumstances which Casita was born of will not be what sustains her, what sustains the family within its walls, what sustains Encanto.

Things are different now. They need to be different now.

Alma will not live forever, and Casita loves her, but she is no longer what Encanto needs.

The triplets are too young and it is not time. First Isabella, then Dolores, Luisa, and Camilo. Casita is proud to have them, but they are not quite right for this.

Alma pulled off a miracle to protect and nourish Encanto along the miracle she’d been given. Her replacement must be able to lead differently, but just as well, just as strongly, with enough conviction to cleave a home out of the earth and stand as tall as the mountains that surround it.

Then Mirabel is born.

Sweet, darling Mirabel, who dances to the beat that no one else can hear, not even Dolores. No one except Alma.

The difference is Alma does not dance to it.

Mirabel is born and Casita knows.

She waits.

Mirabel stands in front of her, waiting for her door, and she is so small and so young and Casita makes it as clear as she can, tries to make it so Alma and their people will understand. It is too soon. Mirabel’s room is now Alma’s, but it’s not time, yet, but it will be. Casita dissolves the door and flickers the candle in Mirabel’s direction.

But things go wrong.

They do not understand.

Casita tries to speak to Alma, but even her Alma cannot understand her like Mirabel can, and no one listens. Bruno hides within her walls and Mirabel cries herself to sleep and Casita does not understand how it could have gone so wrong, how they can look at her Mirabel and think Casita has no gift to give her.

Casita gives her everything.

She gives Mirabel herself.

She gives her Encanto.

It is not a gift that can undone, but they do not understand, and Alma does not let Mirabel lead as Casita hoped she would. Cracks shift around its walls and it does it’s best, but now the miracle is stretched thin, pulled between Alma and Mirabel.

It would have all pulled apart so much sooner, except.

Except Bruno lives in her walls, hiding himself away to protect her Mirabel, and patches the cracks no one can see. Except Mirabel loves her family and loves Alma and does her best to walk in step with her even as her feet yearn to move to a different beat.

Casita worries about Antonio.

Without Mirabel’s blessing, she cannot give him his door and his powers, but Mirabel does not know that she has to give it.

Thankfully, Mirabel walks Antonio to his door, and it is enough.

But at the same time, it is not enough.

Mirabel can’t help but feel as if she doesn’t belong and Alma holds tightly to a power she doesn’t know she can safely relinquish and it all comes apart. Everything is tearing itself apart, Encanto is tearing itself apart, and all Casita wants is to get everyone to safety, to get them as far from the center of disaster as she can.

But her Mirabel tells her to bring her to the candle, and she listens.

Alma screams at her to stop, and she does not listen.

Encanto is Mirabel’s now. Mirabel’s to protect, Mirabel’s to love, and Mirabel’s to break.

Casita falls to pieces and folds herself around her Mirabel. She is sad, but she is not disappointed, not upset, not capable of anything besides love for her Mirabel.

It will take a miracle to bring her back, to heal her broken family and restore magic to Encanto.

Casita would not have chosen Mirabel if she wasn’t capable of miracles.

[evilwizardbasil]

[evilwizardbasil]

[evilwizardbasil]

Twenty-One Things You Don’t Say to a Transsexual by Riki Anne Wilchins.

The fact that I am the only transsexual you know only emphasizes that…we are secretly plotting to take over the planet Earth, and infiltrating your prevailing nontranssexual culture is just our first step

In TransSisters: The Journal of Transsexual Feminism, issue 3, volume 1. 1994.