evolutionandunpredictability1

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Artist Statement:

During this project I let my emotions and experiences take control of my decisions which had a profound effect. It allowed me to be honest with myself and in my art which made the pieces invoke more emotion. I struggled with 3d and digital because it was hard to envision my feeling in unusual way, and different from what I'm used to, but it worked out extremely well because I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and created something I really like. My biggest drive and inspiration was grief, which I think reflects well throughout my work and makes it more relatable.  

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The set up at college.

Here are what I think are the most important pieces I have created in this project. I tried to show development from left to right ending in the final piece.

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This was a softer side the wolf that I was studying. This wolf represents depression but also acceptance. It is sleeping peaceful or lying in pain, I like this confusion because it automatically reflects the confusion that comes with grief.

You can see spects of brighter pink to reinforce the question of 'is this wolf peace abd according?'. Because the blue is a sad and mournful colour it give this drawing some conflicting emotions.

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This piece was investigation for my larger final. The pose is from Picasso 1902 'Blue Nude' but I tried to make it my own. I chose this pose because it invoked such emotion in me and I could relate to it immediately.

This piece also inspired me to use more colour, so here I have uses shades of purple and blue to convey my emotion.

I love how this turned out and the scraps of paint going inwards across the piece really make her stand out and give the feeling of danger.

for my 2d final I used the same pose and surrounded the girl with wolves. I use a rage of medium and techniques to create it, such as collage, paint, inks and more. My intention was to show the stages of grief I have experienced with the wolves, which is why there are multiple. Denial and depression are the most prominent, bargaining and anger being smaller, and acceptance, not in the mix. I wanted the women to look surrounded with no escape, which is why I did these sharp, thin lines pointing inwards. Overall, I really like how my final worked out and the piece above helped me get a feel for the woman. I would change the upper right-hand corner wolf as he is not big enough and should look more on the page and less stuck on. I feel this would make the piece look more as one.

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https://vimeo.com/892865776?share=copy

Link to bird watch time-lapse.

https://vimeo.com/892884958?share=copy

Link to time-lapse of me working.

I used multiple apps on my phone and laptop to edit all these together, add sounds and music to get my final time based piece.

My time based project was challenging because I'm not a fan of digital work and haven't worked much with it in the past. But using videos of me working where i am fully feeling and adding the sounds and music made it come to life. I can feel my emotion in the piece because I felt it when making it. I really enjoyed this challenge and I'm glad with the outcome. I think it gives feelings of growth, sadness and shows how the days always come along no matter what.

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These are larger 3D experiments using a range of techniques.

My favourite is the modroc piece at the bottom because of why I made it. When putting it together, I let myself totally concentrate on my feelings and emotions. I embodied my anger, doubt, sadness, and everything I didn't want to feel or think about. In doing that, I created a ball of feeling with sharp edges, hidden crevices, and a ruff, raw exterior.

I created a similar one for my 3D final and I call it an emotional blob. The other was not spikey and mad enough. I wanted it to be a sharp, angry, confused looking sculpture. The modroc gave a great effect of leaving it looking unloved, unfinished and like the skin has just been peeled of it. I think this give a great effect of showing the unstable and erratic nature of grief.

The others were purely experimental. The wolf head was because I wanted to make the danger touchable and tangible which is how it feels sometimes. But I didn't like it because it was just a wolf head and not a good representation of what I felt.

The bone China piece was a great success, I thought, because it held together really well and created some kinda of dome. I wish that I had experimented more with it because the fragility of the material mirrored the fragile state that people are in when going through grief.

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With these drawings/prints, I am incorporating female figures and wolves. The right is the same idea as others were the wolve is looking her straight in the face and she is trying to ignore it, in order to save herself.

The left was a Gelli print of a comic page, which I turned into a wolf that looked like it's holding a woman captive. I really like how it's half wolves' face and half the woman. It makes me feel like they are bonded and part of each other, not just crossing paths. I also like the colours in this because it was a step away from monochromatic black, and let me explore colours and what effect they give. The pinky red gives danger but also love I feel.

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These links are to multiple time-lapses I made of views, me working and the birds in my garden. I took these to first show that everything still goes on, the river still flows, and the bird still sings no matter what. And the others of me working are when I was letting myself feel all the emotion that I put into my work, and despite what I feel, what has happened people live still go on and the next day comes along.

https://vimeo.com/892653255?share=copy

https://vimeo.com/892634143?share=copy

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ART UK

Artist Talk: Eva Koťátková - Nottingham Contemporary

These are links to online artist talks I watched. The first was about the Pallant House Gallery and what it entailed. it was really interesting to hear about these works from the last century and how the gallery came to get them, something I didn't even think about. one interesting piece was a sculpture by Barbara Hepworth called 'Single Form (Nocturne)' in 1968. she directly carved it out of marble with steep lines, some sharp others soft. Hepworth said it was a fusion of myth and experience and the gallery got it because Hepworth made it for the owner back then. I thought it was really interesting to see how someone's experience can take that kind of form, and definitely inspired me to do more abstract thinking and feeling.

The second was much shorter but came with a lovely but heart breaking story about a giraffe that died after being captured back in the 1940's. After dying the body waste was dumped into the sewage system which caused problems. this story was an inspiration to the artist and for her it spoke of power grabbing, exploitive and made her think of how many other similar stories are there where people have not learnt from the past. This was interesting how she created a space where people could start to understand this perspective and give some time to think about the forgotten stories.

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Exploring anger.

These wolfs represent anger, the second stage of grief, one I feel most prominent which is why I focused on it more than others. I was inspired by the shouting feeling of having to look grief in the face, even though it scares me. This is why I made the teeth and especially the eyes a focus in these drawings, because I wanted to to reflect the feeling of fear, which was embodied in anger.

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https://www.scribd.com/document/689090589/Picasso-Artist-Research

A link to artist research on Picasso and his Blue Period. the Picture below is one I found particularly influential to my project.

https://www.scribd.com/document/689147738/Pack-of-Wolves-Research

The above link is research on a pack of wolves and how they relate to my project.

above link is to research on Tracey Emin

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3D experimental work.

Here I am using cardboard, masking tape and newspaper to study the form of a wolf and hooves.

The hooves represent weakness. When wolves hunt, they will chase animals like caribou and deer into deep snow, and they will sink because of their hooves, making them easier to catch and take down. This relates to grief and how i feel it creeps up when I am at my lowest. But also, 1 strike from a hoove and a wolf is seriously injured, so this shows how grief can be a hidden strength.

These 2 I was looking at a wolves strengths compared to the preys weaknesses. The right being a paw and the left an ear.

I used mudrock, which worked really well, and I like the ruff, harsh finish to it, it make the pieces feel more dangerous.

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Here I'm using pen, ink wash, charcoal, chalk and graphite. I have kept them black and white because I feel colour would take away from the emotion I want to get across. The darkness of the drawing show how dark and deep the feelings of grief are.

The close up is showing how grief (the wolf) is shouting in her face, pushing itself forward into her thoughts and the women being overwhelmed bowing her head and giving up trying to push it away.

After researching Picasso's blue period, I started experimenting with blues and greens. Here I am thinking about how I deal with my emotions and hide the things I don't want to deal with from myself and other. The face on the left is darker and in the shade, out of sight. The right is the one shown to the world, a 'fake' persona.

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Pen, graphite and chalk drawing.

With these drawing I am getting to know and understand the form and shapes of wolves.

In the project the wolves represented grief and this one in denial. The wolf is facing away but not unaware of what is happening, simply doesn't want to look at it head first.

The drawing of multiple wolves represents the 5 stages of grief. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Were the women represents the prey and the one being attacked by these emotions.