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[exatron]

*Boss is at 1HP*

Me, the DM: Bard, your turn

Bard: I cast Dissonant Whispers

Me: Okay, tell me how you kill him with it?

Bard: I rickroll him

[exatron]

*The bard to the artificer, after the party was split up into two prison cells for trying to drug the governor’s horse and replace it with the Druid*

Glamour Bard: Hey, do you think you could use your tinker-y thing to change my color scheme? Something little more on-theme maybe? 

Artificer: Dude, your aesthetic is but a skin tag on the body of problems we’re dealing with now.

[exatron]

Isabel: Minkowski, do you know how long it takes until you start hallucinating from sleep deprivation?

Renee: I think-

Doug: Seventy-two hours.

Isabel: ...How do you-

Doug, staring into empty space over the rim of his coffee cup: There's a clown behind you.

[exatron]

Minkowski: I killed a spider and now I feel bad.

Eiffel: Birth a spider to make up for it

Eiffel: Why did I say that

Minkowski: Why did you say that?

[exatron]

Maxwell talking to Jacobi over breakfast: Wait, you met him on Onlyfans?

Maxwell: The guy from last night?

Maxwell: Which one of you is the fan?

Maxwell: Because one of you banged your stalker

[exatron]

Isabel: Why would you give Lambert a knife?!

Mace: He felt unsafe.

Isabel: Well, now I feel unsafe.

Mace: Would you also like a knife?

[exatron]

Daniel, trying to level a framed photo on the wall: Maxwell, am I straight?

Alana, without looking up: No.

Daniel: The picture. Is the picture straight?

Alana, looking at the photo of Jacobi and Kepler: No?

[exatron]

Peaceful video

[exatron]

(Plaintext transcript below the cut) (Note: due to Tumblr Gonna Tumblr, please see reblog from me that includes the actual links referenced)

Keep reading

[exatron]

Please enjoy these ducks changing their minds 

(Source)

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Lovelace: When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.

Minkowski: Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up.

Minkowski: Let's embrace the moment.

[exatron]

Warren: Do you want to talk about it?

Alana, laying face down on the floor: Why would you automatically assume something was wrong?

[exatron]

Victor: We made a map of all the places the Hephaestus crew could be hiding.

Dr. Pryce: This is just a map of the space station.

Rachel: We have no idea where they are.

[exatron]

Renée, over the phone: Hey, I'm at the store! What cereal do you want?

Isabel: Get the gay cheerios, they're my favorite.

Renée: The gay chee- do you mean fruit loops?

Isabel: I stand by what I said

[exatron]

Mr. Rogers

You can literally make anything and anyone problematic if you try hard enough seriously give me people and things and I’ll make them all “problematic” right now.

[exatron]

Me: Congratulations, your carefully-planned campaign is now a Monty Python skit.

DM: Isn't that what all D&D campaigns eventually devolve into?

[exatron]

Until the reboot says otherwise, I'm assuming her parents are still King Randor and Queen Marlena.

Adora and Supergirl would be best friends