excaive - Tumblr blog

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hunk of parmesan: i'm getting so small! 😁 keep going! i wonder if i can get even smaller 😯

microplane, getting more and more delirious with lust as my knuckles get closer to it: he's ruight

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Don't miss a wire

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two of a kind, only one will survive

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Sometimes a guitar riff is to sound what a garlic hitting hot oil is to smell. You know what I mean?

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That is a fun noise there

neoliiii

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pro tip if you start saying hewwo as a joke it will eventually come to be your standard greeting for all loved ones 

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hate paper straws ooh it’s biodegradable yeah i know because it’s biodefuckingrading in my coffee asshole

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I talk to many people who say things like "oh I have trauma but I don't have PTSD", but then when I talk to them a little more I realize that they most likely do, they just can't recognize it as such due to how lacking PTSD awareness is, even beyond the whole "it's not just a veteran's disorder" thing.

The main reason they think they don't have PTSD usually has to do with flashbacks and nightmares, either they have one but not the other or have neither. But here's the thing, those are only two symptoms out of the 23-odd recognized symptoms. Flashbacks and nightmares are two of the five symptoms under Criterion B (Intrusion), which you only need one of for a diagnosis. The other three symptoms are unwanted upsetting memories, emotional distress after being reminded of trauma and physical reactivity after being reminded of trauma (i.e. shaking, sweating, heart racing, feeling sick, nauseous or faint, etc). Therefore you can have both flashbacks and nightmares, one but not the other, or neither and still have PTSD.

In fact, a lot of the reasons people give me for why they don't think they have PTSD are literally a part of the diagnostic criteria.

"Oh, I can barely remember most parts of my trauma anyway." Criterion D (Negative Alterations in Cognition and Mood) includes inability to recall key features of the trauma.

"Oh but I don't get upset about my trauma that often because I avoid thinking of it or being around things that remind me of it most of the time." Criterion C (Avoidance) includes avoiding trauma-related thoughts or feelings and avoiding trauma-related external reminders, and you literally cannot get diagnosed if you don't have at least one of those two symptoms.

"Oh I just have trouble getting to sleep or staying asleep, but I don't have nightmares." Criterion E (Alterations in Arousal and Reactivity) includes difficulting sleeping outside of nightmares.

"But I didn't have many/any trauma symptoms until a long time after the trauma happened." There's literally an entire specification for that.

Really it just shows how despite being one of the most well-known mental illnesses, people really don't know much about PTSD. If you have trauma, I ask you to at least look at the criteria before you decide you don't have PTSD. Hell, even if you don't have trauma, look at the criteria anyway because there are so many symptoms in there that just are not talked about.

PTSD awareness is not just about flashbacks and nightmares.

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Our little stupid conversation means more to me than you think

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We really truly and severely need to do something about the "narcissistic abuse" fad. like do you guys know and understand people with NPD are more likely to successfully attempt suicide (often with no warning or announcement and a solid plan) than any other PD (yes, including BPD). has anyone considered for one second that this may have something to do with the fact you can't fucking fart on the internet without hitting a post about "dealing with narcissists".

NPD often turns inward into a toxic perfectionism and even the grandiose subtype can turn into a case of fragile/vulnerable subtype in the face of extreme, berating criticism (like, yknow, not being able to google your disorder without getting 1000 results about how irredeemable you are)

when you see people stigmatising NPD: call it out. tell people "narcissistic" doesn't equal abuser, it doesn't equal toxic, and it isn't acceptable to use it as such. remind people there are other words they can use. don't let it slide just because "oh but they're venting about trauma :(". A vent that contributes to the trauma of people who read it is not a vent. do not drop the subject. do not forget about it. do not be scared of confrontation.

i've lost damn good friends to this disorder. not because of their behaviour, but because of stigma that made them feel like suicide was doing the world a favour.

it HAS to stop, and it has to stop NOW.

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listen to me. thoughts do not have moral weight. a thought will never hurt anyone. the actions you take because of a thought can hurt yourself or other people, but the thought itself is powerless and there is no such thing as thought crime.

"but i have thoughts about being violent towards people! towards children! surely that makes me dangerous!" are you being violent? for real? with your actions? if not, then you are not actually hurting anyone

"but i have thoughts that are offensive and hurtful! they're bigoted, or they're horribly rude, or they're invalidating to others! i'm a horrible person." and what are you doing with those thoughts, exactly? are you taking bigoted actions, or saying those rude things, or taking steps to actually invalidate people? no? well then. no one is getting hurt. and in the meantime, if it really bothers you, doing things like helping unlearn your biases (both against minorities and just, like, against furries and theatre kids and shit) might help some of those thoughts go away, but sometimes you just get shitty thoughts.

"but i have horrific thoughts about sex!" are you hurting people. are you forcing people to do things they don't consent to. or are you just playing the upsetting possibility in your mind over and over again, and acting like that's even remotely the same thing?

thought. crime. is. not. real. OCD. is. hell. (and anything else that may cause intrusive thoughts.) but it does not define you. your thoughts will always, always come secondary to your actions. you're gonna be fine.

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Peek into an alternate timeline where I'm ever-so-slightly worse at posting: My whole existence is bog. You get me closer to frog.

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Tomorrow comes yesterday.

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