excessdrive

[excessdrive]

as the holiday season was basically around the corner, that meant that killian had very limited time for any additional activities outside of their job. that included socializing and hanging out at different bars from time to time. that evening it just happened to be at like a rainbow. the trainer figured it would be great to spend a couple more quality nights at different spots around cornelia street before their schedule was fully packed with clients suddenly having a bunch of new years resolutions and wanting to stay in shape all out of the blue. then again, it was almost like a tradition of sorts ― 'new year, new me' that kind of thing. not that killian was complaining though ― the said tradition did bring them quite a few new clients every single year. it's just that... more than half of them would not show up to the second session after barely starting with introductory meeting. the more time passed and more similar situations killian encountered, the more they started to believe in the whole 'you win some, you lose some' thing.

as much as they preferred spending time with people, short breaks in between were necessary to catch their breath and balance out having some time to themselves. fresh air also was another solid reason to step out for a bit and enjoy the chilly night. the blond seamlessly slipped through the exit into a quiet chill of night, rubbing their palms together to maintain some body heat while they were out. the night was pretty calm, most of the usuals waiting in the line to be let into the building, some of them leaving at the same time. that is, until their attention shifted towards a figure that stepped out soon after but did not head in any speicific direction. that's when a cigarette appeared in view and the intent of the other became pretty clear. they didn't realize just how long they have been looking in the other's direction when the brunette called out for them, which caught killian somewhat off guard.

❝ oh ― no. ❞ they promptly replied, lifting one of their hands in a gesture of a subtle refusal. well what did they think the other would assume due to all of the staring that was taking place? ❝ but thank you. ❞ a small pause followed between them as the trainer wondered whether or not they should make their curiosity known. it was, after all, the reason they were stealing glances at the other during this time. ❝ i don't recall seeing you around here before. and i'm pretty good at recognizing faces. ❞ killian pointed out, slipping their hands into the pockets of a puffer bomber jacket. ❝ pretty good spot, this one. if i say so myself. how are you enjoying it? ❞

where: like a rainbow...but like...outside of it? who: open (@corneliastarters)

the only reason she'd agreed to this was because jake was at a sleepover. one of her co-workers had suggested they go out that weekend. jo had assumed she'd meant out to dinner or to a movie or something, but when her colleague had given a mischievous smile and suggested this club, jo knew that the younger crowd had assumed she'd turn them down. but joanna torress didn't back down, not even from younger professors and their clubs.

but the drink she'd ordered had been far too sweet, the lighting too harsh, and the music was giving her a headache. so she'd slipped away when the others had gone to the bathroom and escaped into the cool night air, where she instantly reached into her bag for a cigarette and her lighter. she took a couple of drags and felt muscles begin to relax at once. was she too old for this? as a group of college kids who could have been her students tramped across the street and into the line to get into the club, jo realized that she might be too old for this. as she was contemplating this, she felt someone's eyes on her and turned to throw them a look. "what?" she took another drag. "did you want one?"

[excessdrive]

there was no greater moment than the moment they were in right now, yearning for the permission to get a peek at the fleeting subtitles of the language only her mind was able to produce. always quick enough to pass them by and them not being swift enough to catch up. or, perhaps, they weren't digging deep enough to notice the secretive most inner thoughts of valerie langham. yet here they were, trying their damnedest to decipher those subtle facial features into tangible form of meaning with their piercing gaze. if only that was enough to slip through the cracks and be one of the lucky few to reach the very core of the other's being. the danger of potentially being burnt alive no longer occupying any space in their mind, whatsoever.

killian was no stranger to danger. fire. passion. once upon a time they had taken zero precautions and instead, allowed themselves to be completely engulfed by flames. even if they ended up with severe burns all over, that did not stop them from jumping back into the battlefield once more. that time with valerie by their side. their dynamic might not have been the healthiest in comparison to many others, but plenty of impactful moments, hours, nights were spent together ― all of which made them feel the most alive they had ever felt. at the time everything was tainted by an overwhelming sensation of ecstasy, so it was a feeling one could hardly ever forget. at the same time, now that the trainer is taking their time to reflect upon those times, it is becoming quite apparent that, there was something else, something softer, quieter ― a whisper, lingering under the surface that killian failed to take note of before.

the doubt in the brunette's voice brought their attention back to the current moment, the slight hesitation in taking the next step urged them to stop and take a pause to evaluate the situation the two of them found themselves in. ❝ we can. with mutual agreement, of course. ❞ there was nothing stopping them, if that's what the two of them set their mind to. well, almost nothing. although the past was supposed to stay in the past, unfortunately it seemed to still rule over so many people's lives, including theirs. and each time they were to look back on their past together, killian would inevitably have this bittersweet feeling in the pit of their stomach, given how they were the reason why everything had ended so abruptly. their sudden disappearance tracing the bold line indicating the end of their chapter, when there could've been more. they could've been more.

a deep sense of gratitude suddenly made itself known within their being as valerie's next statement prevented them from spiriling down further the painful rabbit hole they often did whenever killian found themselves alone with their thoughts, unable to hold back all the 'what if's' no matter how hard they'd want to wish them away. it was clear then, as it was time for the other's wise words to reach them and disarm them completely with her frankness, that they were speaking to a person they had never spoken to, before. she happened to look exactly like valerie langham, but sensation that accompanied her was different. she had leveled up and killian would be lying if that did not amaze them and leave them fascinated, trying to put all of the pieces together to reveal the origin story of the woman sitting next to them.

their once subtle grin widened somewhat upon hearing the soft even a tiny bit shy declaration of gratitude coming from valerie. it wasn't their first or even last compliment directed at the journalist, but the way she was taking it took them by a pleasant surprise. what took them off guard even more, was the fact that they, themselves, were struggling to accept a compliment. ❝ it's a long challenging road ahead ― self-discovery ― but i'm glad to know i've made some progress. ❞ they muttered with a lower tone, perhaps a bit uncomfortable of admitting that they were doing the hard work to get where they wanted to be, as killian was no longer the type to brag about their achievements. this right here, did not feel like one at all, but the fact that the brunette took note of it had to mean something quite significant.

❝ who says you've made a mistake? ❞ the blond slightly tilted their head to the side as an arched brow followed suit. ❝ a wolf is loyal. courageous. adaptable. ❞ they paused, taking into consideration their own statement and how it manifested in them, personally. ❝ a wolf can lead, but it can also support and be a team-player when needed. it's because it has powerful instincts and strong intuition. all the traits i strive to have and develop further. ❞ killian explained, now deep in thought, as a light smile that previously had graced their features never once faltered, securing it's place where it seemed to fit the most. ❝ it's a matter of perspective, i think. what matters is how you look at the concept. but just to be clear ― i very much appreciate the compliment. ❞ their body language reflected a light yet firm nod of the head directed to the other to confirm their just seconds ago affirmed gratitude.

following the journalist's next move, killian slowly brought the glass to their lips only to take a small sip, gaze never leaving the spot where the other was currently seated. ❝ oh, i'm no longer after the perfection nor the shiny bits. ❞ the trainer gave a nonchalant shrug before their attention returned to the glass in their hand. a calm pause of nothing but low whispers around the bar and soft music playing in the background filled the space temporarely before killian decided to change the topic and go for something lighter. ❝ what does it taste like? ❞ they inquired, eyes still glued to the glass, almost as if they were stuck in a particular memory of the past.

❝ you know, i think it's true what they say. that your tastebuds change with time. you know what else changes during that time? you. ❞ that, or killian finally started appreciating the little things in life ― simple pleasures they didn't even bother to look twice at a few years ago. back then, all the former lawyer cared about was the price, the design, the kick that the liquor had. it was always about the shiny, pricey items that evoked some kind of a reaction from the rest. as long as it received attention from the outside, killian didn't even need to remember the name of the cocktail they indulged in the previous night. now, though? killian could hardly believe that attention seeking was a part of their personality, but that wasn't the only trait of theirs that left a bad taste in their mouth.

❝ to me it tastes like... complexity. a riddle. something you yearn to keep exploring, but it's never enough. layers upon layers to discover. ❞ in truth, it had it all. it was slightly sweet, salty, sour and even a bit bitter at the same time. the thought of that and a comparison they just made in their mind, a tiny chuckle left their side while killian took a moment to swirl the liquid in their glass. ❝ reminds me of us in a way. how complex people can be. no matter how much we try to understand the mystery that makes a person... a veil of uncertainty remains. a secret waiting to be revealed. ❞ the blond muttered their own conclusion of the moment and finally glanced over to their companion, realizing that they were yet to hear her part of perspective. ❝ what does it taste like to you, val? ❞ the nickname felt obvious on their tongue while they tested the waters. it didn't feel quite appropriate to call the other that anymore, so if anything, they'd call it a slip for old times sake. meanwhile, the trainer was quick to mask the slight uncertainty in their features by directing their full attention on her, instead.

relationships, of any nature , had always been difficult for valerie langham . although the langhams never lacked a thing and the three siblings had grew up surrounded by luxury and the finer things money could buy ( especially valerie, being the youngest ) , it had always been void of depth, as far as she could tell . there was no question her mother had loved her ; in her own , twisted way the langham matriarch had loved her kids unconditionally , had done everything in her power not let them turn into the monsters and tricksters that had taken over her last years of life , to a fault . but her love had never been open, at least when it come to her youngest . valerie had to work to earn a place on her mother's heart , competing with the world for a minute of her precious attention which not only made her competitive but shaped the way she viewed love and care for years to come .

it bled into the rest of her relationships, growing up . from her siblings to her friends and family members , everything became a competition , love used as a form of transaction . when she was old enough to get into romantic relationships , her view only got darker , twisting the meaning of love deeper . there was love in her heart , sometimes too bright it felt like it was burning her alive , a dangerous weapon anyone wise enough could use against her and yet it had always had this transactional and mechanical side of it , the twist she had given the word from as long as she could remember .

alas, when killian had come along into her life , their relationship had been doomed from the start , like the majority of valerie's relationships . there had always been something in it for her , for them , for others . sex , power , money , the search for a better and brighter future — the meaning behind the word that so many lost their minds over had been tainted from the start when it came to killian and valerie's past selves , yet it didn't make it any less real . at the time , valerie's feelings ( even those she had kept unsaid , only for her to know and for her to mourn once killian had walked away ) had been as real as the air and the memories they had shared during their time together . pureness had never been a part of their involvement , especially when it came to the feelings they had shared , passion on the other hand, as erratic and boisterous in nature as valerie herself however , had .

the nights shared , those feelings , the what ifs that roamed wild in the darkest parts of her soul for her to cherish or to dwell over when needed were now stored in a shelve with the rest of her past , ghosts of memories of a life she had once had , a life she ached for at times when the one she lead now became too heavy and still , it was nothing more than that a mirage , something that in no shape or form reflected on who valerie was now.

killian's wise words , as they often did , somehow seemed to echo what her own unspoken thoughts said , distracting her from her inner soliloquy and making her return her attention at her dear... friend, a line or two older than the last time they spoke yet their features more tender , more human than she had ever seen . any trace of arrogance was gone and instead , a new sense of themselves brought out a side of them valerie had never seen before , making the youngest sigh deeply . " do you really think we can start over ? " she questioned , a double-edged sword of a question without intent . on one hand the expectation that came with starting over was unnerving , the thought of doing it all over again to mess it all up once more and lose them once again was almost unbearable to think about whilst simply turning around and continuing on with their lives as they had been seemed nearly impossible .

... and yet , valerie knew then and there that she would take the chance of starting it all over , to give the other and herself the chance of meeting her new self if allowed.

killian's queries enter her eardrums like buckets of ice water , invasive and intrusive like no other can . the journalist is acutely aware that , if anyone else had been in front of her that night asking her about something as personal and triggering as losing her old life and the power it brought her , she would walk away and plan for their downfall on her way to the door but as always , when it comes to killian , valerie can't help but let herself speak candidly . " i won't sit here and tell you i don't miss what i was , the life i had . those who say money doesn't buy happiness haven't lived a day in the shoes of those who have nothing " she muses , eyes glued to the very floor beneath their feet . it's easier to speak , she notes , when her gaze is not on someone else , her thoughts arrange better that way . " it doesn't mean i would give up what i have now to get what i had back then . what i have now , what i know know , what i am now — nothing of once was could begin to compare " almost nothing , she knows she would give it all up to see her mother one last time .

pride has been an intricate virtue valerie has been taught about from the very beginning of her life . she had been taught to be pride of her name , what it meant and what it could bring her . of her beauty and how she could use it to take what she needed because of it , of her sharp mind and how it worked in her favor and yet for the first time in her life , valerie discovers , sitting there talking to someone that feels like an old favorite book she has forgotten all the words from but still holds a special place in her heart , that she feels pride in herself . not in a boisterous manner nor with any superiority complex attached to the feeling , instead contempt and in peace with herself . she could remember surrounding herself by company of people she didn't enjoy , partying and never alone with herself to deal with because she often found solitude unbearable . now , solitude brought her easiness as she is accompanied by someone she likes , someone she can be proud of.

killian speaks again , the earnest tone in their voice as they speak of the power that they claim valerie still possesses , of never truly knowing her until today — valerie's fleeting reflexes kick in . it becomes too much , a lump in her throat begins to form when the other speaks so highly of her . back then , valerie had been great at receiving compliments , adoring to hear people gush about how beautiful she was or how brilliant she had turned out to be ; perhaps because deep down she knew that even if they weren't real , they filled a a hunger within her . she had been ravenous , needing of validation like it was water . things were different now , especially since killian's words appeared to be most honest vows of confidence she had gotten in a lifetime. alas , she managed to say a soft " thank you " only audible between her and the other , private and earnest , almost shy , a first . when she looks up , any sense of pretense or mockery is gone , her features as earnest as the other's words . " i don't know if i really knew the real killian meijer back then . i don't think i would've given myself the chance to do so even if you had wanted me to — but it would be an honor to do so now " she begins , blue eyes staring right into the others . " what i have seen tonight , what i've learned from you tonight " a shaky breath " i hope you are proud of the person you've become . i called you a wolf earlier today , i am wise enough to accept when i've made mistakes and this is a great time to accept i've made a mistake . this is the most human you've ever seen , it suits you . "

there is a pit that forms on her stomach , similar to a black hole , as she is reminded of why she is unable to drink in the first place ; memories of sleepless nights researching every medical book known to men through headaches and vertigo , endless doctors appointments leading to nowhere for weeks , a secret diagnosis has kept from everyone but herself and her doctor . in the past few months , valerie has been in contact with hundreds of people , from family to coworkers , friends and the occasional enemy she had managed to make back when the name valerie langham meant something else , never quite feeling the need to share her diagnosis with the people she shares a life with . now , in the middle of a ball , wearing a lace dress and white pearls , for the first time she feels an intricate need of say it . perhaps the penetrating gaze of theirs or the fact that for the last 10 minutes she has bared her soul to the person in front of herself are the catalysts that make her want to share her biggest secret . perhaps it has to do with the fact that she feels like drowning and this is the calmest she's felt since losing her mom. or perhaps , she doesn't want to start off a new relationship with a lie by omission , tainting their second chance on having a normal friendship.

but valerie simply inhales deeply, taking the alcohol-free beverage she's been handed and smiles at the bartender gratefully , raising her glass to clink with the others' as they give a toast . " cheers , killian . to second chances . it's a pleasure to finally see you and to letting you see me . i can't promise it will be pretty , shiny and perfect . but , it will be me . "

[excessdrive]

KILLING EVE 3.05, Are You From Pinner

[excessdrive]

closed for: @fvckthepctriarchy ― ( sage ) where: local library when: 11:42 pm.

ending up in a library on a random thursday night had never been in the cards for killian. actually, it was a specific thursday for someone else. sweet natalie had an upcoming project at school and it just so happened that it was an emergency and she was in desperate need for a certain encyclopedia. usually you'd find the trainer already lightly snoring in their bed at such late hour, but when it comes to their goddaughter, killian was more than willing to bend a rule or two if that meant they'd get to save the little girl's day at school.

so here they were, arriving in quite a rush only to find themselves completely lost in the building filled to the brim with all types of books. how can anyone even begin to nagivate through this maze? thankfully, it didn't take long until what seemed like library assistent's desk came into view and the trainer gained a sense of relief. and, as it turns out, they might have relaxed way too soon. because why would a quick trip to the library go as smoothly as they'd imagined it in their head? nothing ever goes according to the plan and despite countless of situations proving exactly that, killian still found themselves being reminded of that simple yet unfortunate fact time and time again. it's like they never fully believed in it. well, until this moment, that is.

the disgusting frown reflected in moody assistent's face upon their inquiry about the layout of the library told them as much as they needed to know. the bastard did not want to help out and given the fact that the library was supposed to close in roughly fifteen minutes only added more reasons for killian to believe that the asshole decided to brush them off on purpose.

❝ oh, for fuck sake. ❞ a barely audible irritated mutter left them as the trainer quickened their pace in hopes of having the quickest possible tour of the place which will, inevitably, lead them to their destination. ideally, since they were racing against the clock and the odds didn't seem to be in their favor so far.

by some miracle, around ten minutes later, killian stopped at what appeared to be the correct row of bookshelves that included various types of encyclopedias. ❝ bingo. ❞ they whispered to themselves while marvelling at the scene. you'd think they discovered some kind of a treasure. taking a couple of steps closer to the bookshelf, killian swiftly fished out a sticky note with the name of the book and mere moments later their eyes fell upon the desired item. ❝ come here. ❝

now that they managed to find what they were looking for, the blond was way more at ease than before and was no longer in such a rush to exit the building although only a few minutes were left before the closure of the calm research space. still, they made their way towards the main staircase and couldn't help but direct their attention towards someone in particular. a person seemed to be resting or even sleeping on one of the research desks. it was obvious enough given that their head was lowered and rested on their arms like they were nothing but a comfy pillow.

a part of them did not wish to intrude or disturb the resting soul, yet the previous interaction with annoying library assitent refused to leave their mind. if it was up to them, killian would take up all of those people entering the library and would guide them themselves. that's how rude of an arsehole this one was. ❝ hey, ❞ killian addressed the person after getting close to their desk, however their approach did not evoke any reaction from the other. the trainer glanced around the place for a second or two, deciding their next move.

they were not really the touchy type, at least not when it came to strangers. so, the thought of potentially touching the other made them hesitate as scenarios of how the person would take their gesture plagued their imagination. then a faint sound of movement ahead reached their ears indicating that the assistent was preparing to close the library and that it was time to make their next move. the blond's glance returned to the other as killian let out a small sigh, leaning closer to where they were resting.

❝ hi, ❞ they tried again, slightly louder than before as the trainer now gently placed their hand on the other's shoulders, applying a bit of preassure in hopes of waking the person up. ❝ sorry. didn't mean to disturb, but the place is closing up and... yeah, it's pretty late. ❞ as soon as they felt movement, killian took a step back, letting their companion assess the situation and remember where they were. ❝ i'm gonna get us a cab. it's too late to be travelling alone, anyway. ❞ with a clear goal in mind, the trainer pulled out their phone with an intention to book them both a taxi, allowing the other to gather their bearings during that time.

[excessdrive]

hc + 😶, 😴 , 💪 , 🧡

ask meme: 003

😶 for a headcanon about a secret they know of / keep

killian doesn't mind keeping secrets of those closest to them. with an exception, of course, that the said secret(s) are harmless and do not require additional outside help due to potential toxic relationships, threats to one's health and overall negative influences to one's wellbeing. one of the biggest secrets the trainer keeps is the one their younger brother let them in on. daan has always had the knack for the visual arts ― especially photography. however there were very few opportunities for him to pursue his passion due to strict household and high expectactions from parents who were solely focused on making the lawyers of their children. so now, getting close to graduating from law school, daan is considering to make his next move and apply for a spot in massachusetts college of art & design. the parents were left clueless. just like everybody else except for their older sibling. given killian's past and them cutting ties with their parents completely in search of a new life had inspired daan to do the same and therefore he decided to confide in their older sibling knowing that he will have their full support regarding his decision to go after his dreams.

😴 for a sleep-themed headcanon

killian considers themselves a light sleeper. most unexpected noises coming from the street outside or within their apartment, such as lightning, their beloved pet, fussing around can easily wake them up. as a result, the trainer keeps the door to their bedroom closed throughout the night as well as the windows within their bedroom to reduce any potential sleep disturbances. the closure of blackout curtains usually follows suit. given their highly active physical lifestlye, killian has established a bedtime routine to mantain their consistent sleeping hours which are of utmost importance to them. all screens are turned off at least an hour before bedtime, meanwhile killian usually picks up a new book to read with a cup of peppermint tea as a pre-bedtime drink. occasionally they treat themselves by having a relaxing hot bath before bed, too. one can also catch the sound of light rain coming from killian's bedroom during the night. during the experimental phase of implementing various alternative solutions to bettering their sleep, killian found that using white/pink noise allows them to fall asleep quicker in a more relaxed, comforting atmosphere. so they started trying out different types of white/pink noise and soon settled on the sound of gentle rain which had never failed to carry them to the dreamland. it comes as no surprise that rainy mood™ is the most used app found in trainer's phone.

💪 for a sport-themed headcanon

outdoor activities were always a part of killian's life. given their never ending love for winter season, ice hockey had tickled their fancy during younger years and so did snowboarding which came a close second. at some point during middle/high school they were a part of local ice hockey team and would have several matches every single week. snowboarding, however, had become an annual holiday activity and until this day, killian makes sure to save up their yearly vacation days for an extended weekend at holiday valley resort. during warmer seasons, the trainer enjoys participating in volleyball matches, but nothing compares to their secret passion that is not known to many ― tug of war. the blond will be first in line to participate in the games during most festivals and events that will be taking place, no matter the season or weather present that day. they have a strong preference to go all-out and love taking risks during the games, such as playing in various bodies of water or muddy areas where physical and mental strength is challenged. there is no doubt that on the international tug of war day being februrary 19th, you'll be notified by an automatic email which will indicate the trainer's temporary absence at work due to more pressing matters.

🧡 for a friendship-themed headcanon

if you were to take a peek in their social media profiles, you wouldn't find high numbers in friends category. most of the people online to them are either work contacts or acquaintances they plan to reach out to sometime in the future. when it comes to real life, killian has to divide their limited free time to selected few friends that the trainer considers very dear to them. their love language is primarely quality time along with acts of serice and physical touch. that is how they show their love and appreciation for their loved ones. for the longest of time they used to think that buying big, expensive gifts to their friends and family were equal to the level of love they felt for them. nowadays, especially the last couple of years, killian has grown to appreciate the simplier pleasures in life and therefore tends to go for perhaps smaller, yet more meaningful presents. as opposed to their past, they no longer are seeking validation from others, so one rarely would catch them handing out gifts in person, but rather leaving the items in a visible spot so the receiver could easily find them. killian is quite sentimental when it comes to sharing quality time with their loved ones, as all of those happy tender memories are very dear to them and are kept in the safety of their heart. so whenever an opportunity arises to spend more time with those closest to them, the trainer will do everything that's in their power to ensure that future memories will be just as precious as the previous ones and no single minute will go to waste.

[excessdrive]

‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎❝‏‏‎ ‎what if you can't pick up all those million pieces your being had shattered into...?‏‏‎‎‏‏‎

‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎‎ ‎ ‎excessdrive ‎‏‏‎ ‎― ‎‏‏‎ dependent muse for corneliafm. ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏ ‎‏‏‎ ‎created and developed by efka.

‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎killian meijer‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏―‎‏‏‎‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎thirty. self defence trainer. jodie comer fc. ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎‎ ‎‏‏‎‎ ‎‏‏‎‎ ‎‏‏‎‎ ‎‏‏‎intro. threads. gallery. answered.

[excessdrive]

“⁇” – sage

Send “⁇” for a DRUNK text.

【 1:43 AM. 】 ― it just occurred to me that you're my direct link to the stars 【 1:44 AM. 】 ― you just know things without even trying 【 1:44 AM. 】 ― how the hell do you do that? 【 1:44 AM. 】 ― you know all of the fine things that i don't 【 1:45 AM. 】 ― and that makes me want to dig deeper in hopes of unraveling the mystery that is sage warner 【 1:47 AM. 】 ― your name is written in the sky and it is something that i simply can't unsee

[excessdrive]

“&” – codes

Send “&” for a LOVING text.

【 7:19 AM. 】 ― you awake yet? 【 7:19 AM. 】 ― you will be now 【 7:20 AM. 】 ― will meet you in half an hour at holy grounds 【 7:21 AM. 】 ― and don't you dare dip and pretend that your place is closer to school than the cafe 【 7:22 AM. 】 ― we both know that it's not 【 7:22 AM. 】 ― about time we set some traditions around here 【 7:24 AM. 】 ― what can i say? i've missed annoying your grumpy ass although we just saw each other yesterday 【 7:25 AM. 】 ― don't be late <'3

[excessdrive]

KILLING EVE 4.07 | Making Dead Things Look Nice

[excessdrive]

# (from veronica)

【 12:36 PM. 】 ― apparently you can walk across liechtenstein in less than a day?! 【 12:36 PM. 】 ― i've been in germany before, but not liechtenstein, sadly 【 12:37 PM. 】 ― i'm no longer sure if i'm buying these 'curious facts' articles anymore 【 12:39 PM. 】 ― should we travel there and find out for ourselves?! 【 12:40 PM. 】 ― are we up for a getaway weekend? pls say yes so i can book those tickets asap.

[excessdrive]

☎ (from caroline)

【 4:11 PM. 】 ― could you please, for the love of god, drag me out of this gym?? 【 4:12 PM. 】 ― if you do, drinks will be on me 【 4:12 PM. 】 ― i swear 【 4:13 PM. 】 ― if i dont leave this place soon, i might just extend my stay until the end of this week 💀

[excessdrive]

Thematic Headcanons. A series of subject-specific headcanons you can ask your favorite blog and muse.

hc + 🤝 for a headcanon about a connection with one of the receiver's mutual

hc + 👪 for a family-themed headcanon

hc + 🧡 for a friendship-themed headcanon

hc + 💌 for a romance-themed headcanon

hc + 💕 for a loved-themed headcanon

hc + 💔 for a headcanon about a sad experience

hc + 🤥 for a lie-themed headcanon

hc + 😶 for a headcanon about a secret they know of / keep

hc + 😴 for a sleep-themed headcanon

hc + 🌇 for a headcanon about morning- or evening rituals

hc + 🧼 for a hygiene-themed headcanon

hc + 🏠 for a home-themed headcanon

hc + 😃 for a happiness-themed headcanon

hc + 😨 for a fear-themed headcanon

hc + 🤕 for a pain-themed headcanon

hc + 🚶‍♂️ for a habit-themed headcanon

hc + 👍 for a headcanon about things they like

hc + 👎 for a headcanon about things they dislike

hc + 💪 for a sport-themed headcanon

hc + 😡 for a headcanon about something that makes them angry

hc + 👻 for a headcanon about supernatural occurrences

hc + 🥣 for a food-themed headcanon

hc + ☕ for a drink-themed headcanon

hc + 🐈 for a pet/animal-themed headcanon

hc + 🌸 for a plant-themed headcanon

hc + 🌄 for an outdoor-themed headcanon

hc + 🌍 for a travel-themed headcanon

hc + 🗡 for a weapon-themed headcanon

hc + 🎡 for a hobby-themed headcanon

hc + 🚗 for a transportation-themed headcanon

hc + ⏳ for a time-themed headcanon

hc + 🌘 for a night-themed headcanon

hc + 🌞 for a day-themed headcanon

hc + 🪐 for a universe-themed headcanon

hc + 🌂 for a weather-themed headcanon

hc + ⛄ for a season-themed headcanon

hc + 🎉 for a celebration-themed headcanon

hc + 🏆 for a goal-themed headcanon

hc + 💯 for an achievement-themed headcanon

hc + 🚬 for a headcanon about a bad habit

hc + 🎭 for an arts-/crafts-themed headcanon

hc + ✂️ for a hair-themed headcanon

hc + 👗 for a clothes-themed headcanon

hc + 💍 for a jewelry-themed headcanon

hc + 💄 for a makeup-themed headcanon

hc + 🎓 for an education-themed headcanon

hc + 📿 for a faith-themed headcanon

hc + 🎵 for a music-themed headcanon

hc + 📱 for a media-themed headcanon

hc + 🎥 for a film/tv-themed headcanon

hc + 📔 for a reading-themed headcanon

hc + 💰 for a money-themed

hc + 💼 for a job-themed headcanon

hc + 💉 for a medical-themed headcanon

hc + 🛒 for a shopping-themed headcanon

hc + 🔞 for a nsfw-headcanon

hc + ❓ for a headcanon of the receiver's choice

[excessdrive]

?? ( addie )

Send “⁇” for a DRUNK text.

【 11:26 PM. 】 ― i found this leaf just noe 【 11:27 PM. 】 ― did you know that they change colors? well they do. ive read thats because of the length of daylight 【 11:27 PM. 】 ― or something 【 11:28 PM. 】 ― this one has the same color as your eyes. actually the light must align in a certain angle for your eyes to acquire such a tint of perfect blend that makes yellow/brown which is basically golden. 【 11:30 PM. 】 ― get it? it means you have golden eyes. especially when you're in the dark room and the light hits your face just right 【 11:30 PM. 】 ― and this leaf right here is the resemblance of that. 【 11:40 PM. 】 ― yes. i stole it. not that anyone noticed tho 【 11:41 PM. 】 ― i hope

[excessdrive]

✉ ( val )

Send “✉” for a text that WASN’T SENT.

【 12:57 AM. ― drafts 】 ― i haven't gotten to say this but 【 12:57 AM. ― drafts 】 ― it wasn't your fault. what happened after, i mean. 【 12:59 AM. ― drafts 】 ― i just.. it doesn't feel right to message you like this anymore. or at all. 【 1:00 AM. ― drafts 】 ― you deserved an explanation at very least and even that i failed to give you. 【 1:08 AM. ― drafts 】 ― i'm sorry for leaving you behind. i should've been there when you needed me most.

[excessdrive]

Send “✆” for a MORNING text. Send “✉” for a text that WASN’T SENT. Send “☎” for a RUSHED text. Send “⁇” for a DRUNK text. Send “✿” for a SUGGESTIVE text. Send “ø” for a LATE NIGHT text. Send “✘” for a HATEFUL text. Send “#” for a RANDOM text. Send “@” for a SCARED text. Send “&” for a LOVING text. Send “%” for a CURIOUS text. Send “ツ” for an EXCITED text. Send “$” for an ACCIDENTAL text. Send “♀” for a HEARTBREAKING text.

[excessdrive]

killian eyed the entrance of the bar as cody's latest remark kept ringing like a glitched telephone's answering machine in the back of their mind. if they didn't know any better, they'd say their companion was trying to let them know something in a not so subtle way. the blond's eyes narrowed slightly at a realization before they slowly turned to face the other across the bar, a shit-eating grin threatening to break out any second. ❝ so... you just magically forgot to lock the doors this time? or 【 ... 】 is this your way of finally admitting that you enjoy my company? ❞

without wasting anymore time waiting for the other's reply which might not even come, killian took their seat at the bar and reached out to wrap their slender fingers around a fancy looking glass. all the previous cody's recipes had never failed to impress the trainer, so holding a new one in their hand now evoked a tiny bit of excitement, perhaps even nervousness in anticipation of tasting potentially next big hit. with one suspicious look pointed in bartender's direction, the blond brought the glass closer to their lips before inhaling gently and taking in the aroma of a perfect blend of liquor.

❝ mhm... what's this one called? ❞ they inquired before bringing the glass to their lips to take one big sip, letting the liquid properly coat their tastebuds for a full reveal of broad variety of flavors.

❝ bold. daring. the type of drink one would order to sway their opponents into making a deal they weren't prepared to make. ❞ a soft hum of approval left their side as killian remained silent for another beat or two, almost as if the drink had forced them to reconsider all of their life decisions up until this point. ❝ i like it. ❞

aside from the newest drink being a total banger, killian almost missed the part where cody basically pronounced them a bad friend which brought out a rather disguisted frown from them due to the nerve of him even considering that. oh, how they wished to let it fall on deaf ears, at least this one time, but the chaotic duo never seemed to rest. ❝ oh please, codes, when have i ever been a bad friend to you? when have i ever mistreated you so much so you're still holding this rusty grudge against me? ❞ it all came out as a slightly irritated groan with a huff of air at the end to showcase their sudden annoyance.

❝ if i were to be any nicer than i already am, i'd probably become a saint. believe me, you do not want that. ❞ killian gave them a pointed look hoping he got their point, since that would mean the end of most of their hangouts together, since whenever the two would come together, they wouldn't be up to anything good.

he snorted out a laugh at their response, quirking a brow as he followed their gaze up and down the bar. he tilted back his left wrist, watching the watch light up before looking back at them with a bemused expression. ❝ i don't know if you know this, but when the bar isn't even open yet, it's hard for a lot of customers to make their way inside. just because the door was propped open for you doesn't mean it didn't lock behind you, ❞ he murmured, giving a pointed look towards the drink settled on a coaster in front of them. ❝ you gonna drink that? ❞

he stepped back from the bar and placed all the bottles he'd pulled out back where they each belonged. his eyes scanned over the other bottles and taps along the wall, reaching to remove ones that were near empty and muttering quiet complaints to himself about the closers from the night prior. he disappeared into the back for a few moments and returned with a wooden crate in his hands, carefully replacing each bottle so that their labels were outward and easy to read.

❝ as for whether or not new soundtrack is haunted, i wouldn't know, ❞ he said, voice clearer so that they could understand the words over his shoulder. ❝ that's not to say that i would be surprised. new york is an ancient city, after all. a lot of places built in or on top of old bones. there's a reason cornelia street looks so new and businesses in harlem look so old. so if you see a ghost, it might be wise to be a little nicer to them than you usually are to me. never know, it might save your life. ❞

[excessdrive]

killian was no stranger to discussing the most random of subjects so the fact that the other brought up the dilemma of potentially removing a turtle from it's shell did not surprise the trainer at all. well, almost. it did, however, evoke a certain sense of curiosity, which they couldn't simply ignore. ❝ would you rather see how it's done in practice to prove you wrong? ❞

whenever they were in disbelief of something, killian always went for the tangible proof. and, in this case, they would probably have to see just what happens once a turtle would lose it's shell. then again, for some reason, they weren't too thrilled about the idea of actually witnessing such an act.

on the other hand, that didn't mean they couldn't have some fun and push the other's buttons a bit. ❝ would you do it? just to see what happens after? ❞ a tiny playful grin now covered their features in anticipation to the reaction they are about to receive to their atrocious suggestion.

"so you're telling me that you can't remove a turtle from their shell?" macie asked in disbelief. a sea turtle was one of her favorite animals so she wondered if that also meant that they weren't just using the shell as a home but it's part of their body. "i don't believe it." ( @corneliastarters )