existentialblackhole

[existentialblackhole]

[existentialblackhole]

Welp looks like my time in my gaming friend group might be over. Everything has been great for going on 3 years now, but recently we’ve added two new guys and they’re sexist as fuck. Being one of two girls in this server has pretty much never been a problem before. The only time it’s come up was when they kicked a guy because he asked her (Lea) and I for nudes one time. No questions, he was just gone. Now these assclowns have joined and keep stirring up shit whenever one of us joins call/game. The typical “Oh look the token e-girls are here make sure to hide your wallets guys” “We were gonna play smash but now if we do we might have to pay child support” “You don’t play games because you like them, you’re only here for attention from men” (for this one I actually said “oh where are the men? Cuz all I hear is some pathetic whining from boys” which didn’t actually help but damn it felt good) and other bullshit that has made it to where it’s basically impossible to play with them without being demeaned. And while this has definitely happened before in other servers that I’ve left it’s never happened in this one before. And it honestly wouldn’t be so bad if one of the other guys said anything to tell them to ease up all they do is laugh and a few have even joined in on it. Normally I wouldn’t have put up with it as long as I have but it’s so much harder this time because I actually stuck around long enough to form friendships with these guys. But at this point Lea and I are pretty much done and just going to drop out completely and only keep contact with each other. Ugh it’s just fucking frustrating how stupid boys can be! Like fuck just because I have a vagina doesn’t make me lesser or worthy of ridicule. Honestly fuck them. It just sucks that I’m probably going to miss them too.

[existentialblackhole]

There are bad days for both me and him but we’ve been making our way through them together. We are the strongest we’ve ever been and now we actually get to meet each other in a couple months. To say I cannot wait is the biggest understatement ever.

[existentialblackhole]

do u ever look at someone and just pray to god you never have to lose them

[existentialblackhole]

Things are going so well!! I’m applying for transfer, and back in school!! And we’ve been together the longest we’ve ever been together.

[existentialblackhole]

Everyone please take a moment of silence to honour a true Canadian icon

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He told me he loves me.

[existentialblackhole]

A Final Chance

God I want so badly to give into hope and wishful thinking that it’s going to happen this time. But it never does and this is the fourth chance. I’m a fool for even letting this happen again, I was when I allowed a second and third chance too, because inevitably it will all crash and burn again. I just hope this time when it does I’ll actually be prepared and not too far taken with the pretty promises. At least this time I know for sure when it done, it’ll be done. Im not going to let us keep hurting each other, this time it will be over as soon as one of us slips up. With that said though I really would like this final try to be the one that finally sees it through and lets us be happy together.

[existentialblackhole]

Concept: it’s been five years since we got married. I’m finally starting to excel in my dream career. We both make enough money to thrive. Our house isn’t huge, but it’s perfect for us and our animals. We sprawl out on the couch together. I’m reading, and you’re playing video games. When I look at you, all I can do is smile and run my thumb across your fingers. We did it. This is all I could ever ask for.

[existentialblackhole]

Can people please stop starting posts with stuff like "I know most people don't give a fuck but" "nobody cares but" and "if you ignore this you're a terrible person" or any variant of these like they're all such guilty trippy ways to start a post. It's so much more likely that people don't know about the issue you're talking about because it hasn't been given media coverage! And that's not their fault. Like instead of guilt tripping maybe, you know, inform about the issue and tell whats happening and what people can do to help. But like just don't make it seem like everyone who didn't know automatically is awful and doesn't care about the sake of others. Like there have been so many posts that I want to reblog but can't because it makes me super uncomfortable because the post is super toxic and I'm not gonna subject my followers to that. So yeah the point is not every body knows everything and no one should be made to feel bad about that. Inform, don't attack.

[existentialblackhole]

"I'm tired of you playing the victim and making everything about you while we're arguing, it's make it hard to accomplish anything along with the fact that it's super frustrating" "Excuse me, I guess I'm just an awful friend and need to go kill myself. I'm sorry I'm a human that has flaws and I can't be perfect like you all the god damn time because I'm such a shitty, horrible person" "..."

[existentialblackhole]

"I'm just trying to have an intellectual conversation with you" *says something intellectual* "You're just trying to make me feel dumb, aren't you?"

[existentialblackhole]

i deadass lost interest in everything. im just cruising on autopilot rn

[existentialblackhole]

Ending a toxic friendship is so weird bc on one hand it’s like yes I’m going to be free of all this anxiety and I won’t have to deal with how terrible you make me feel but then at the same it’s like I’m gonna miss you tho and probably hate myself for missing you because I know how much better off I am now

[existentialblackhole]

I just want it to be over already

[existentialblackhole]

Tfw you really don't want to be alive anymore, like at all, but can't find the strength to just end your pathetic existence lol

[existentialblackhole]

‘i am genuinely paranoid that everyone secretly hates me and thinks i am really annoying and ugly and is pretending to be my friend and it’s all part of some big joke’