existentialcrisisetcetera

[existentialcrisisetcetera]

just finished the locked tomb series! do you have any idea what that does to a person

[existentialcrisisetcetera]

Inside of me there are two Squirtles

[existentialcrisisetcetera]

I was promised enemies to lesbians and all i got was cosmic grief

[existentialcrisisetcetera]

[existentialcrisisetcetera]

I cannot overstate how fucked up I am today. I’m operating on almost no sleep and I’m pound for pound more fatigue than person. But we needed cat food.

So I went in and the worker did a little shudder as she’s finishing up with the last customer.

“I had one of those days yesterday,” I commiserated.

“No, it wasn’t them, I was just- it’s kinda heavy.”

I waited.

“My coworker just passed a way,” she admitted. “I just saw her name on a receipt, it hit me kinda hard.”

I nodded. I was painfully aware how little energy was in my tank, and empathy uses so much, but this is not the kind of thing I am capable of brushing off. “Have you ever read Terry Pratchett?”

She looked very confused by the apparent non sequitur. Shook her head.

“He’s a really famous fantasy author,” I told her. “Very funny. But in one of his books he has a system kind of like telegrams. And if someone dies while operating that system, their name is put into it. Their name goes back and forth across the line forever, and he posits that people aren’t really gone as long as we see echoes of them and remember their names.

“That’s what it’s like when you saw her name on that receipt, right? It’s her memory, still going.”

Her eyes got wider as I went on. When I finished she gave herself a little shake. “That’s. That’s really beautiful, thank you for that. I. Wow.”

I smiled over my mask and left with my cat food.

[existentialcrisisetcetera]

My mom left an eviction notice for the carpenter bees burrowing into our porch

[existentialcrisisetcetera]

bout to hit my bitch coworker with the 'do you treat everyone like this or only your gay coworkers?' because i know she'll bluescreen about it. and im gonna make sure to do it when no one else is around just like she does to me with her snide bitch-ass comments. i've literally never pulled the gay card before, but i talk about my wife often enough that everyone knows. I've also got a reputation for being very level-headed, straight-forward, and conflict-adverse. No One Will Believe Her.

[existentialcrisisetcetera]

People will literally be doing anything on ao3

[existentialcrisisetcetera]

No, I would not steal a car. However, if I had the ability to create a copy of someone's car that I could have for free while the other person retained their original car, I would definitely do that.

[existentialcrisisetcetera]

We gave Bok Obama a bath, he did not appreciate it

[existentialcrisisetcetera]

"kamala harris doesn't even have any kids, she can't lead the country" i'm sorry is this fucking warrior cats

[existentialcrisisetcetera]

i’m obsessed with the mum from ponyo. driving single lane on a cliff edge? drift those turns in your nissan cube. husband has to work an extra shift? tell him to fuck off in morse code. pet fish turned into a child on your driveway? adopt her. town drowned in a tsunami? leave your 5 year old in charge, he’s the man of the house now

[existentialcrisisetcetera]

Saw an old lady today that looked like an old lady and was dressed like an old lady except she was wearing big goth stomping boots like this

[existentialcrisisetcetera]

[existentialcrisisetcetera]

remember kids, the moral of "Irish and Italians weren't even considered White yet!" isn't "because in those times people were so ignorant they didn't think the Irish were white". the moral is "because white is an unreal category created to justify slavery and ongoing hoarding of power and wealth". It's not that you know better about Italians. It's that the boundaries of the higher caste have changed.

[existentialcrisisetcetera]

Okay, maybe that guy was a bit fishy. We need the right detective for this case.

Dedicating this to all the Columbo comments under three fish in a trench coat, he's a catfish now.