existentialismee

[existentialismee]

HI IM GONNA CRY

holic spoilers below!!

THE NEW CHAPTER CAME OUT YESTERDAY AND IT WAS SO BREATHTAKING AND LIKE ???? MAN I HAVE TO READ CLEAR CARD NOW BUT

LIKE

nuki's yelling at doumeki to water the lawn because he entered in through the garden instead of the front gate, which watanuki always gives him shit for. and this is such an innocuous interaction but we have not seen watanuki get mad like this IN

SO

LONG

there are definitely little moments in rou that show his irritation, but him outright screaming at doumeki...?? ?? ?? ? ? MY BOY IS GIVING INTO HIS OLD TSUNDERE WAYS AND IT'S MAKING ME VERY EMOTIONAL....

that's all. i love when he shows emotions because he doesn't always anymore, and when he does, they're so subdued from how he used to be. but doumeki still gets under his skin after all this time.... crying screaming throwing up

ok thanks bye

[existentialismee]

Watanuki waits. And waits. And waits.

The silence feels heavier this time, clouding over him, pressing down on his shoulders.

Despite himself, he feels the concern seep through his veins, wondering if he overstepped Chara's boundaries.. worried that they may get up to leave, and refuse to ever see him again. But despite their trepidation, despite how quietly the words left them.. they still replied. Acknowledging the care that Watanuki felt for them, even in the short time they knew one another.

And so, he turned to look at them; noting the disappearance of their smile, the way their hands tugged at the locket hanging from their neck, how their eyes shined with the beginnings of tears. They could not bare everything to him, but what they had was enough-- the pull on his heart strong, and painful, as their cautious words echoed through his ears.

".. then there is no need for you to do so. Not now."

No, he would never force Chara to tell him what they'd endured-- and perhaps they would never feel that they could. At the very least, however.. he could be there for them now. No matter how much time fate would let them have in this place, Watanuki knew he would never take this opportunity for granted.

"Yes, you are trying. You are making friends, spending time with people who care for you. That is more important than anything else."

His own smile returned; soft, a ghost of its former self, yet genuine all the same.

"Of course, Chara. Thank you for trusting me."

Idly, Watanuki pulled a handkerchief from the cloth wrapping of his bento, placing it between himself and Chara without making any mention.

".. I don't believe I've gone since I returned to this world, but I remember finding many of my favourite foods from home there, too." Things he could make himself, of course.. but those dishes he could remember the taste of. "Perhaps that could be our next outing, if it interests you at all."

He says he’s not angry.

He says he’s their friend.

He says he’s not angry.

He says that they can trust him to never be upset with them.

He says he’s not angry.

(But adults lie when they want you to let your guard down.)

Chara doesn’t … know how to reply. Watanuki has been nothing but kind to them. Even if Chara wound up throwing up like their gut so desperately begs to, he probably wouldn’t even be mad.

but the risk is never zero. So Chara swallows the bile down.

They’re not smiling anymore.

“… it happened a long time ago. I was four… maybe five years younger than I am now.” Their little fist twitches against their heart locket. “I do not remember a lot in words. Only pictures. It hurts to try to...”

They trail off, forcing their head to move up to look at Watanuki, red eyes shining.

“I am trying to be better than I was back then. I am trying very hard. Thank you . . . For your patience with me.”

Blinking back some tears that threaten to break containment, Chara bites hard against their bottom lip, tugging at the dead, chapped skin there.

“… the wishing trail? I … have never heard of such a thing.”

That’s what they get for isolating themself, huh.

[existentialismee]

.. he could tell their demeanor was different now. Even despite doing everything they could to keep the obvious at bay, the way they had tensed, the way they would not even look at him now was blatantly apparent; continuing to carry on as if they had not made any slip-up whatsoever.

Did they think he would be.. upset with them? Demand to know the details of their past? Even if Watanuki was concerned for Chara and what they had endured, especially because of their age.. that wasn't something he would do. Yet, how would they know that? They still barely knew one another, so of course if they had unkind dealings with adults in the past.. they would perhaps assume the same from him.

That was not something Watanuki would ever blame them for.

He could have carried on, replying to the continued subject change, because he still felt as though he might scare Chara off if he pried too much.. but there was part of him that could not ignore how they were now. Perhaps some sort of acknowledgement would make things worse, but..

Watanuki thought, that perhaps, Chara should know that he cared. Even if they couldn't trust him in that way yet.

He did listen to their continuation of Earth's cultures, even noting what they said about monsters.. but a beat of silence fell between them briefly, as Watanuki placed his mochi back into his bento.

".. Chara."

He said their name gently, still facing the trees before them.

"You do not owe me any explanation as to what you've gone through. I will not pry, nor ask you any questions, unless you want to speak to me about something in particular."

"There's no need to even acknowledge this part of our conversation if you do not want to. I don't need a reply. But, perhaps.." he trailed off for just a moment, searching for the right words to say-- if there even were any. ".. if you could remember that I am here for you, that I will listen if you need me to.. that would be enough. Even if you do not need, or want that from me.. I am happy to remain a friend to you, regardless."

His fingers came together, loosely sitting in his lap, as he thought a little longer. ".. besides, I've offered to teach you more about my culture, but you seem to know of ones I could not even fathom. I'd like to hear more about those monsters you mentioned. Sometimes, items from our home worlds end up in a place called the Star Trail-- I wonder if we might find what you wish for there."

Why did they say that.

Why did they say that?

Chara can immediately tell when Watanuki’s expression flickers, no matter how brief it is. It’s a little harder to breathe, suddenly, a little harder to focus. The child keeps their back straight, eyes locking down on their hands. On their half eaten mochi.

They feel sick.

He knows now. He knows that Chara is lying about something. Or hiding it, rather. Putting a lid on their past and sealing it tight.

Their hands tremble. Chara tries to take their way through it. Tried to ignore the anxiety rolling in their gut.

“The books on European culture here are very interesting. Learning the customs and histories of places like Poland and other eastern satellite countries is incredibly interesting. I am also interested in the complexities of China’s history. It is one of the oldest countries on earth.”

Their stomach twists anxiously. Chara can’t even look at the mochi Nuki had so kindly provided.

“I wish I could share books from monster culture. But I am not sure where to begin finding things like that.”

[existentialismee]

Even if their pronunciation was slow, and not quite said with confidence, Watanuki still seemed quite pleased with Chara's attempt; bowing his head forward in acknowledgment. Not even their admittance to how they came to learn certain aspects of his culture seemed to bother the shopkeeper whatsoever, though he couldn't help the gentle laugh that bubbled softly from his lips; covering them with the side of a hand.

"That's quite alright. For someone your age, that seems to be a fun way to learn. Besides, even adults in Japan take part in things like that-- someone very dear to me enjoyed reading manga and watching anime any chance she could get. Even more so than I did when I was younger."

Briefly, his expression changed at that mention; a flicker of sadness echoing in his eyes, across his smile.. until Chara's words brought those feelings to a quiet standstill.

"..." inside of their.. what, exactly? Had this child been kept somewhere in the past, unable to do as they pleased?

For what reason..? In what sort of world would that ever be alright?

.. something shifted in the pit of Watanuki's stomach, as the fingers in his lap tensed some. A lurching, sickening feeling of concern, of anger, begging to be released-- yet he kept it all at bay, noting the way Chara carried on, as if they had not meant to say that out loud.

Perhaps there was nothing Watanuki could do, in the here and now, to change their experiences in the past.. but at the very least, could he try and make their new ones in this world better?

".. I'm glad for that," is what he settled on, eventually; the tone of his voice careful, which now matched his smile. "Admittedly, I do not know many cultures well other than my own.. but if you cannot find the answers you seek there, I would be happy to answer any questions you might have. I could even teach you more phrases or recipes, if you'd like that."

“Go…chizou… samadeshita.”

They stumble a bit in pronunciation. Chara turns their head again to take another bite, quicker this time — and chews, pulling themself back up as soon as they swallow. At the question, their already pink cheeks grow redder.

“Uhm. That is. I do like to learn, but the only reason I know what to say is because my partners friend was super into anime. I did not have the opportunity to learn that for myself.”

Would Nuki be mad about that? That Chara only knows because of pop culture? Maybe. Chara scratches at the inside of their wrist again.

“I would have liked to learn. But I did not have the opportunity when I lived on the surface. Most of my life was … religion and the inside of my —”

They stop short. Chara hasn’t told anyone that. Why did they tell Watanuki that?? They didn’t even tell the Dreemurrs any of that. Chara startles a little bit, fingers digging into their skin in nervousness. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Why are you getting so comfortable with a human? Humans are the ones who hurt you. Just because you can trust a few of them not to feed you to the dogs doesn’t mean you go blabbing about your past!

— the silence here is getting too prolonged. Chara clears their throat and smiles to reassure their older companion.

“I am excited to learn more about cultures now that I am here. I make frequent trips to the libraby,” yes, they pronounced it libraby, “so I will get to learn many more things. It is exciting.”

[existentialismee]

"Oh? I won't be taking that as an excuse, you know. If needed, I suppose I could always teach you how to make a particular dish.. if you'd like." He smiled, coyly, as if slipping back into the mood they had been in before Watanuki had misspoke. "But that will increase your price. It will have to end up being something quite extraordinary."

Yet even despite his teasing, there still remained some sort of gentleness in Watanuki's eyes as Vanth continued; seeing him mull over the shopkeeper's conditions, and surprisingly accept them.

"My shop is in the forest of Airaisal, just past the great tree. Whenever you have the time, I'm sure you'll find me there." Normally, he would have said that fate would lead Vanth in the right direction; and while he believed in that still, after causing him so much upset, he decided to be a little more helpful. "The pixies in the area know me quite well. If you get lost, you need only to follow them; they're usually happy to lead customers to my door."

❝ Something I made? ❞ Vanth laughs silently through his nose, shoving his restless hands back into his pockets. ❝ You're asking the wrong guy, you know. 'Creating' isn't my strong suit—the opposite, actually. ❞ The rest of the air in his nose, first reserved for more laughter, instead eases out as resigned sigh. It's not like Watanuki is asking for much in return. Who is he to refuse? ❝ But a price is a price. I'll pay it, since you've asked. ❞

❝ So how can I find you? ❞

[existentialismee]

For just a split moment, the tug on Watanuki's sleeve caused him to break eye contact with the spirit; glancing at Hanabi from his side, and solidifying her words in her mind. In the next, suddenly, the world began to grow dark; swirling masses of negative energy surrounding them more, and more, until the world was completely void of light.

He managed to whip back around just in time to catch the blue of the sky from disappearing, yet his expression refused to change, as if completely unphased by the spirit's attempt to scare them.

".. it's alright. We will need to reach your mother to pull that thing from her, but for now, I will work on subduing it." With his opposite hand, Watanuki reached for Hanabi's shaking fingers; enclosing his own around hers to give her one strong squeeze. "Nothing I intend to do will hurt her physically. My abilities will only effect what's controlling her. I promise.. I will not harm your mother, Hanabi-san."

Letting her go slowly, Watanuki then reached into his sleeve; pulling out a handful of ofuda with particular spells written on them in black ink. Slipping the seals between his fingers, his eyes scoured the darkness, listening to the repeated warnings from Haru, over, and over again..

.. until his body turned, suddenly facing behind them-- thrusting out his hand and shooting the seals towards his target. If they managed to hit, they would begin to break down the darkness that was blinding the trio now, and weaken whatever hold it had on Hanabi's mother.

@hanabisays

The light is blinding, but not unwelcome! Hanabi knows the moment that this protective barrier circles around her that it belonged to Watanuki. Hearing his voice certainly confirmed that she was correct to believe that.

"How did you..." her question trails off, but the surprise on her face hasn't left. He stands in front of her. Standing in between the two and blocking the spirit's goal.

The spirit takes one look at the man and there's a look of annoyance. Even it knows that he's a strong one. He would be the reason that Hanabi would stand strong. It couldn't have that.

Hanabi tugs on Watanuki's sleeve, "she can't hear us. My mother...she.."

The spirit starts circling them wide, like a predator hunting its prey.

"̷͔̽Į̶̪́'̴̯̂̆m̷̬̰̾ ̸̘̏̄͜j̴̗̫̊͛ṷ̶̑ͅs̶̛̼̝̓t̷̯̺́̆ ̶͉̓̔g̴̼̲̀ḙ̸̋̊t̶̞͐̓ţ̶̭͑̈i̶̪̳̅n̸̮͚̾̃g̴̺̃́ ̶͚̈́s̶͙̀̅ṭ̷̭̇͋ã̶̲̘̚r̴̡͚͛͝t̴͈͠ȩ̸͕̏̇d̴̼̻́͠.̶̼̲̊͘"̷̥͂

Their surroundings begin to darken until the spirit is nigh-invisible. Hanabi can't see anything in front of her. Not even her own hands.

The sound of Haru's chirping to alert them sounds so far away.

[existentialismee]

"And you haven't changed a bit. Still just as predictable as I remember."

Anyone else may have been offended by the comment, but after Watanuki got over his initial surprise at seeing the other, his expression had eased into one Shadow was probably quite familiar with seeing; a smile that could almost be mistaken as a smirk curling his lips, yet a gentle relief was shining in his eyes, too.

"It's nice to see you too, Shadow-kun. Have you gotten yourself into any trouble yet, or were you saving that for me?"

@existentialismee

Some encounters are fateful, some more normal. And then...There's Shadow Link, parasol in hand, nonchalantly walking past Watanuki...

Who does not go unnoticed: mind you!

"Still as ugly as ever, I see." That's it.

[existentialismee]

“I’d hoped I might find you today, Lilli-san.” He greets the woman with a gentle smile, handing her a box that looked like it might have been from a bakery, with a blue ribbon wrapped around it. Inside was a cake baked by Watanuki himself— one of his specialties, a strawberry chiffon cake with vanilla whipped cream icing. He’d heard through the grapevines of the island what this day was, and went out of his way to prepare something his new friend would hopefully enjoy. “I know it’s not much, but I hope you like it regardless. Happy birthday. May you receive all which you deserve and more today.”

"Did you make this, Watanuki?" As she opens the box, Lilli's face lights up, looking from the beautiful cake back to her friend. "It's beautiful! I have to make sure to get a picture before I cut it... give me a moment, I'm sure I can figure out how to open the camera app..."

After a satisfactory picture of the cake, as well as a few blurry attempts at celebratory selfies, Lilli seems satisfied.

"Why don't you come in for a piece of cake? You worked so hard on it, we should enjoy it together!"

-

[existentialismee]

Despite their earlier hesitance, Watanuki was pleased when Chara accepted his offer; his smile then reaching the dual colours of his eyes, skin crinkling around the edges. To an outsider looking in, the gesture that took place between them would perhaps seem small-- what child would decline a dessert, even if it was the first time they'd ever tried it?

But deep within his heart, the shopkeeper felt this moment was larger than he could ever understand; evident in the way Chara turned away, so that he could not see them eat. He made no comment on the matter, yet kept his eyes focused on the falling blossoms before them; taking a bite of his own mochi, and eating in silence. It's only when they turn to him, speaking again, that Watanuki does the same.

"I'm happy you enjoyed it."

Briefly, Watanuki wondered what else Chara might like. If given the chance, what foods would they choose for themselves to eat? Did they have a favourite, or had they never considered that they could like something that much?

Perhaps in due time, he would know, but for now.. forcing the subject any longer felt wrong. Chara had just been incredibly vulnerable with Watanuki, and he wanted them to know that he respected that; appreciated their slow growing closeness, no matter how long it might take.

Perhaps, if they didn't know what foods they could enjoy.. Watanuki would just have to keep sharing them until they did.

"Your pronunciation is very good, Chara. When we are finished a meal, we will often say 'gochisousamadeshita'-- as thanks to those who have made us something."

"Is it a hobby of yours to learn about different cultures? You seem very knowledgeable in many different fields."

you have nothing to be sorry for.

Yeah, right. As if Chara would buy that. Even if Nuki has been nothing but kind — and he has been incredibly, incredibly kind the scarce few times they had met — it’s not something that can be reassured away so simply. No matter how much he smiles or how many times he says it’s okay, that deep, primal fear inside of Chara can’t be pushed away so easily.

… not that they’ll ever admit that to Watanuki. No, that would be… less than ideal.

The less Chara is perceived, the better.

“… yes. Thank you.”

At least they’re not hogging Nuki’s mochi, now. Maybe they can get away with only eating the one.

“What is it, they say in Japan… ah, yes. Itadekimasu.”

And with that, Chara bends their head and tilts it to the side — so Watanuki can’t see them take a bite — but they do. The dough is much softer than they expected, but the bean paste inside is sweet. It’s not as sweet as chocolate, mind, but Chara would never say no to a good dessert.

They chew carefully, and swallow, before pulling back so Nuki can see them properly. Chara gives a quiet, watery smile.

“It is delicious. Thank you.”

[existentialismee]

".. even stranger than this?" it's a question that he doesn't mean to ask outright, but one that leaves him anyway; eyebrow quirked in a gentle curiosity that's not quite enough to snuff out his concern. "Forgive me, but.. the world you come from must be rather overwhelming at times if this hardly phases you. Perhaps your stories of the supernatural would outweigh my own, then."

Of course, Watanuki had already witnessed Lilli's strength a number of times, but to remain this steadfast even after her own death.. it made him wonder just what exactly she had faced before in her life. What other trials had been thrown at her, that she was forced to endure. Though.. those stories were not for him to pry further upon-- not unless she wanted to share them.

His mind wandered to Dys, briefly; how his shock of becoming a ghost still haunted Watanuki, and while he was relieved Lilli was not experiencing the same.. he hoped she was not being strong for his sake.

"No matter how difficult a situation we are thrown to in this world, I do find that it does tend to get better with time. I'm hopeful that your situation is only temporary, Lilli-san.."

".. though even if it were unpleasant, I'd stay with you until it wasn't. That is, unless, you eventually grew tired of our conversations."

He spoke with a chuckle, trying to keep the air between them as light as he could.

"My encounters have changed rather drastically over the last decade, and then some, but I used to be quite the popular target for a meal from certain spirits." Placing his hand down on the tray next to him, Watanuki leaned forward some; resting his elbow on his knee and propping his chin upon an open palm. "I won't say that trouble never finds me these days, but within my shop in my own world, it's harder to reach me. I'm quite fortunate to have made many friends from the spiritual world, as well.. so not all of it has been so difficult. I certainly try to focus on those moments more so than the rest."

"Ah, I see. You must be quite used to this, then." Lilli has seen her fair share of the supernatural, but she's never had an affinity for all things ghostly, herself. She's fought ghosts, but never imagined she'd become one. It's not unpleasant per se, but isolating. Having no voice or presence in the world bothers her in a way she didn't expect.

She shrugs. "It's all a bit disorienting, but I've been in my share of strange circumstances." She'd lost her body, been switched into another; but nothing quite like this. "Nevertheless, I have hope that somehow, it will work out."

Gazing out over the shop, Lilli smiles. "...doesn't mean the situation isn't unpleasant in the here and now, though." Her smile lingers as she turns back to him, tilting her head to the side. Best to stay positive, and not dwell on their current predicament. Perhaps a distraction is in order.

"If most, er, hauntings aren't quite this pleasant, may I ask what kind you normally experience?"

[existentialismee]

Just as the shock had took hold of Watanuki, it seemed to the doing the same to Dys; yet it kept its hold on him by tenfold, pulling him deeper into confusion, despair, grief.

There was no rational way that someone could react to.. this. No quick acceptance, no understanding of what was happening-- Watanuki could only imagine in his worst nightmares what the other was experiencing before him now, yet part of him still knew..

He couldn't let Dys fall any deeper than he already was.

"Dys--"

As the other began to react, as hands found their way into his hair, breaths heaving from his chest, Watanuki stood; cautiously doing his best to keep up with the distance the other was trying to force between them. His own hands remained raised, as if unsure of whether or not he should reach out towards him; not wanting to do anything else to frighten him, to make an already horrible situation that much worse.

"Dys, look at me." It's alright, he wanted to say-- but that would be a lie. Fuel to the fire of the young man's anxiety. "I know this is confusing, I know you must be frightened.. but you're not alone. I'm still here. What's before you now.. is real, I promise you."

Watanuki had to remain grounded. He had no choice anymore. But the twisting pain on his face was no longer possible to bury deep inside of him, cascading across his face like a shattered pane of glass.

".. there must be something wrong with the Abyss. This.. should not have happened to you-- it should have been as I said. I've also.." his voice trailed off, as the fear of burdening the other snuck his way into his throat-- but Dys needed the truth, now more than ever. ".. I've experienced it myself, so I promise you I was not lying."

Had he not gone through enough? Fighting to survive, only to die in pain, afraid.. and now, this. It made the shopkeeper feel sick to his stomach. The mere thought of toying with the lives, and now deaths of the people who took refuge here.. but as he took a breath in, he knew he had to continue. Tentative, slow.. as if the truth would not just continue to hurt Dys.

"You.. are dead. You have been separated from your body, and are now in spiritual form.. if I knew this would happen, I would have.." but there was no changing the other's choice. It was not his place to talk someone out of their wish, but if he knew.. would it have been different? Could they have avoided this..? ".. I cannot imagine the pain you remain in, but please, try to stay calm."

Carefully, Watanuki's arm raised; offering the hand that Dys held on to through death. The only one that could still hold him, even now.

"I'm here. I've not left you alone."

There’s something very jarring about seeing one’s own motionless body. Dys had never believed in ghosts, not even when he was a kid, because if they had been real wouldn’t so many restless spirits have lingered even back in the colony? After so much needless death?

And yet, trembling hands lift for Dys to look at, his mouth open in silent disbelief.

What was this? It was nothing like others had told him it would be— he wasn’t supposed to be here, either.

As he looks from his incorporeal hands, back to his body, he drifts back as an uncomfortable feeling settles in his chest despite his body in this state being ultimately intangible. A shaking breath leaves him and he shakes his head.

Then he hears it again: Watanuki’s voice behind him. Watanuki who had stayed with him throughout the hell of everything he had just experienced despite not even needing to. Not having to subject himself to that emotional pain. And why was the other still here after all of that? Why would he do this to himself?

(Why, when he isn’t worth the grief?)

Dys practically whips around and— the expression and words of the other don’t strike much confidence into his heart. Silent as ever at first he shakes his head at Watanuki and presses his hands to his head.

“What…”

He chokes on his words. Despite everything, a strange sense of anxiety presses down on him. He feels so out of control over the situation that his mind doesn’t seem to know how to cope. His anxiety, his anger, are both the first things that bubble to the surface to make for a very unstable spirit before he can shove his emotions back down into the depths of himself.

He doesn’t need to breathe in this form, yet breaths do leave him hard and fast as if by habit, his fingers twining into his hair so tightly it should have been painful as he tries to put distance between himself, Watanuki and Mugetsu.

“What do you mean?”

This isn’t how it was supposed to be, this isn’t how it was supposed to be, this isn’t how it was supposed to be…!! Death was supposed to bring peace after suffering! So why couldn’t he be allowed to rest?

[existentialismee]

The tendrils that made their way towards Hanabi, growing closer with each passing second, would fortunately not be able to meet their mark.

In an instant, light shone around Hanabi; a large, magic circle of appearing beneath her form. The light rose, protecting her in one quick motion; as an invisible shield raised up just in time to slice through the shadows before they had even a chance to touch her.

"That's quite enough."

From just a mere distance away, Watanuki stood; his hand outstretched towards the girl and her opponent. He took no time to get closer to her while their protective ward remained standing still; kneeling next to her momentarily to check over her wounds.

He'd had no time to get lost in the disorientation of being thrown into another world. What he had expected had come true-- Hanabi had been forced into some sort of personal hell, and Watanuki had followed her. He was grateful, at least, that he could aid her now; even if he had been too late to stop her from getting injured.

"Hanabi-san," he spoke her name, in hopes to free her from her shock, from the terror taking over her. "Stay behind me, please. I will not let it harm you anymore."

Raising to his feet once more, the shopkeeper's attention turned back to the entity before them; the dark, swirling mass that held onto Hanabi's mother making his stomach lurch. Yet no trace of that appeared on his features. His expression remained passive, immovable; like a force that the spirit would not be able to break through.

"Let her mother go. Your presence in this family has long overstayed its welcome."

@existentialismee

She's disheveled, bruised, and cut up. Hanabi is exhausted, but she knows if she slows down here, she's cooked. Her mother doesn't seem to have much control over her own body, if not at all.

EOMMA! PLEASE COME TO YOUR SENSES!

Hanabi's plea after PLEA only falling upon deaf ears. Hearing the spirit laugh that nails to chalkboard cackle only dampened Hanabi's spirit a little. She's angry. In fact TOO angry. How dare the spirit latch onto her mother. As if getting rid of her father wasn't enough.

"Give me back my Mother!" Hanabi shouts, a strong force pushes the spirit back. It laughs, though strained as it REMAINS latched into Hanabi's mother.

Y̴͎̳̓̎̓ỏ̶̲̜̼̲̟͔͔̠̾͆̑̎̆u̷̘̾̂̆̿͋ ̴̢̭͙͓̝̼̈́̈́̑͌́t̷͙́̀̓̉̀́̕͜h̶̢̭̹̱̯͙̩̪́̋͑̐̈́́̾́į̶̖͓́n̸̜͙̜̲͗ķ̴̧̯̼͚̼̔̂̈́̈́͜͜͝͝ ̵͓̲̊̎̆͊̓t̷̯͓̟̰͎̣̰́̐͂h̸̡̛̞̰͇̳͙̰̣̉̏̈̅̅ặ̸̹͗̑̾̒̆͌͆t̷͙̲͔̠͇̿̈́̈́̾̋͑͜'̷̧̺͕̘̱̪̾̉͘͝s̶̫̜̜̋̾̑̒̄͝ ̵̦̤̳̫̼͓̭̎̌̑̄͋͜e̶̢̖̘̙̮͙̤̾̃͜n̷̩̞̞͉̹͍̆̀͌̌͑̔͒͝ö̴̜́̈́̒̈́̚̕u̵̡̡̠̰̰̼͌́̾͊ġ̶̢̨̨̳̪͎͕̐̍͂̕ḫ̴̢̭͒͌͜ ̴̟͓̻̹͇̰̬̑̉̑t̴̛͖̺̜̮͉̺̬͊̀͜͝͝o̷̞̹͕͐̽̍̔̕ ̷̧̦͎͇̻̱̈́͐̇ḟ̵̧̝̤͆͝͠ͅr̷̛͕e̸͙͑̋̋ȇ̸͚̿͗̈͆̚͝ ̸̛͙̹̬̝͍͐͆̔̋͘͘͜h̷̗̰̭͖̜̘͆̈́̽̋͒é̵̡͚̭̥̳͎͍̊͜r̷̰͇̪̭͇̆͝?̷̙͖̗̝̝̰͙̄ͅ ̵̢͎̞̙͉̽Ÿ̴̝͈͍̫̩͊͆́̊͛̅͐o̴͖̤͉̼̥̱̽̏̀̔͗u̷̳͓̩̍̒̉̑̐͆'̴̼̙̎l̸̻͈͓̭̜̘̦̈́͌͒͆̏̕̕l̸̪̩̭͚̝̐͑͌̔͜ ̵̛̟̓̊́̒͂̽ḣ̴̢͕̥̼̥̯̥̭́͛a̶̞̩̫̞̎v̶͓̫̯̠̮͌̓ͅe̷͓̝̘̜͈͍̣̎ ̷̗͈̮͇̞̙͈̅̌̇̾͘͘t̷͖͖̟̗̻͎̭̜̏͒̃͠o̷̘̯̥̊̍͛̽̚ ̸̳̳̗͍̂k̶͇̓͗í̶̖̗̪̜̟̮̦̐̃́̈́̅ḻ̴̰̈́̂̔̏͐̈́l̵̛̥͙̙̣͚̰̳̏ ̵̢̳̻̊̊͐͝h̸̺̖̘͍̔e̴͍̼͓̙̥̭̠̐̍̇ṙ̶̨͋̚͝ ̸̯̭̓͌͗̿͜ì̴̧̜͖̟̮ņ̷̘̈͌̆̿̌̆ ̸͍͉͛͂̋̿̾̋̿͝ͅô̶̻̭̍́̾̍̒͠r̸̡̡͎̝̮̱͕̿͗̓̈́̍̃̉̐d̷̘̙͇͓̠͙̯̓͌͗ͅe̴̗͖̎r̶̨͙̤̺̒̃̐̉́̏͘͝ ̴̭͎̳̝̪̾̂̾͐̕̕t̴̨̰̦̃͊̔̒͝o̶̖̽̐͜ ̴̡̠̝̫̬̲̣́b̴̬͖͐͆̈͂r̷͍̙̮͈̥͆̀̈́̒̑͂͘͝è̴̡͖͓́̏̊́̊̑ą̷͉̺̼̑̌͒̽̈́̚̕͝k̴̨̛̝͖͈̦̲̆͛̒͆͐ ̶̤͚̪͐̌̅h̵̥̪͚̱̓̕ẻ̶̞͕̲̞̀̕ṙ̵̬̈́̀̔͑͝͠ ̶̳͈̞͕̯̔f̵̼͎̺̓͂̚r̵͉̗̳̝̖͉͈̐ḛ̷̘̳̥̀ͅé̸͍͙̰̜̼͌́̔̓̓̒̃ ̴͍͕͇̠̲̫̗͗͠f̸̛̠̩̣̉͌̈͑̈́̍̀ͅr̷̛̰͉̗͇͚̘̀̑̚ȯ̸̼͍̺̝̥̈̈́ͅm̶̜͕̮̺̌͑ ̴̡͍̻̺̺̤̈m̵͈̟̞̾͐͆̆̍͛̑̚ę̷̳̬̱̣͇͒ͅ~̴̢̧͓͚̼̱͙͍̉͑̋̍!̵̧̨͎̞͓̦̇̈́̈́̈́̄͂̃̚!̷͔͂̍

Its words causes hanabi to stagger and this is the perfect moment for the spirit to deliver its devastating blow before Hanabi regains her composure.

Shadow-like tendrils launches itself toward Hanabi, aiming to strike where it would immobilize the Medium and unfortunately, Hanabi would have enough time to react!

[existentialismee]

The Death Whisperer.

A force imbedded deep within her, that called upon all her senses; allowing Hanabi to listen to all it saw laying ahead. A map of fate, of twisting paths that would eventually lead to the deaths of others; broadcasted to her as if it was some sort of radio frequency.

Yet there was no luxury of turning it off. It followed her, wherever she went-- even if that happened to be to another world.

They did not know one another well, that was a truth Watanuki knew.. yet with every time they spoke, they drew closer to one another. Relying on one another, speaking of things others in their lives would perhaps never be able to believe; solidifying their connection from the moment they met.

He could not be certain if it would bring her comfort or otherwise, but Watanuki felt it necessary to take her hand, then; holding its shaking form between his two steady palms.. in hopes he might be able to ground her some.

".. you know as well as I do that this world is different from our own, Hanabi-san. Spirits do not wander here in the same way we know them to. I believe the only exception is your shrine. Though your fear is real, I do wonder if that means this entity would be unable to follow you here.. however.."

"It may not be entirely impossible. I, myself, have encountered those who should not be able to enter this world here. The ayakashi who once threatened to devour me.. among others. But it has always been during those times of strife, like recently, that they had the ability to appear. As if willed here by the Stars themselves."

.. no. Those times had always been NULL. Even after the years he spent here, Watanuki was sometimes uncertain if they could have even considered to be real.. or if it was all an illusion to hurt as many people as they could.

"Regardless, what you may be sensing now is another event-- one that will target you personally." He looked at her, then; the look in his eyes calm, collected, and somehow cold. The truth would only scare her further, but it was something she needed to hear regardless-- yet he had no intentions of simply leaving her with those negative feelings. "If such a thing takes place, I'd like to help you. However, I cannot offer that without a price. My role as the shopkeeper here, and in my own world, is to grant the wishes of others. If you ask that of me, to exorcise the spirit, to protect you against it, then I shall.. but I must ask you for something of equal value in return."

An item she held dear. A memory. Something she did not dare live without.

"So long as I know what I am dealing with, I promise that I can help you. You do not have to carry this on your own anymore."

She feels entirely vulnerable.

"I call it the Death Whisperer, because that's what it sounds like. It's like a bunch of static televisions that show me death, and there are whispered voices."

She hadn't mentioned any of this to anyone else. The spirit, the fact that people's deaths were all broadcast to her...none of it. Hell, her own mother didn't know about the Death Whispering. For her to reveal it all to Watanuki...it felt foreign, but she trusted him. She trusted that she was in good hands.

He listened. He waited, and she had his attention. He didn't judge, he didn't shut her down and he didn't make her feel as if she was burdening him. Instead, he extends his sympathy. The look in his eyes and his body language spoke of pain and ache.

She was the only person. There was no way she would have been able to prevent all that death. Vanth's death...

Hanabi shuts her eyes tightly and lowers her head.

"I do. I feel as though it's lurking somewhere because of the deaths. That is what it feeds off of. Negativity, death, chaos, blood. What happened to us had all of the elements to summon the spirit. I just...I don't know. I don't know what to do."

[existentialismee]

As their eyes met, as the threat of tears pooled in the colours of Hanabi's eyes, Watanuki felt his composure falter some; though his smile remained in tact, in hopes that it might give the young woman some strength to continue. Though she held them in to the best of her ability, the shopkeeper pulled his hand back to reach into the front of his kimono; pulling out a silk handkerchief and handing it to her, should she feel comfortable enough to bare all her inhibitions before him.

And he listened, intently, as each thing she said tumbled from her mouth; despite when she faltered or through her nervousness, Hanabi still held all of Watanuki's attention, as if attempting to prove his own words. However, at the mention of her abilities, as what she endured finally came out.. it was then that the smile on his face fell some; surprise showing through the sadness that threatened to take hold of him in that very moment.

Both of them could see the dead, interact with them as if they were still on this plane.. yet Hanabi could sense when they would leave it. When their fate would surely come to an end.

There was no way Watanuki could ever fully understand the weight she must have been carrying for so long-- perhaps even too long, on her own.

".. to feel such things.. to know when the end is near.. I cannot imagine the pain that has brought you in life, Hanabi-san. Knowing when a life will come to an end.. and not being able to stop the hand that fate had dealt."

.. just like Yuuko. She knew what needed to be done to move on, when the right time would be.. and waited for all the right people to be in place.

His heart ached at the thought.

"But being unable to stop it-- that is not your fault. You are but one person, lost in the sea of many who suffered; all you could do was your best, and to be there for them.. for your friend, after the inevitable came. Still, it's alright to mourn these things-- you are not wrong for lingering on these thoughts.. no matter how many times it has happened, I'm sure it never gets any easier for you. However.."

"What has made you feel as though that spirit is near? Do you believe it is feeding off the negativity brought by the deaths of those you care for?"

Watanuki is powerful. Even without her complete strength she can tell that his spirit is strong. If anyone can help her, it would be him. Someone who was near similar to her own! Still, the thought of burdening someone with this was too heavy.

If you didn't want to talk about it then you wouldn't have come in the first place.

A voice of reason. It's true. If she didn't want to bother Watanuki with her concerns, she wouldn't have found her way into his shop.

This shop, as Watanuki had said was to help people and he had opened put his arms to her knowing that she came with some baggage to unload.

The young woman nods, "I agree..."

Hanabi looks at him. Her eyes fills up with tears, but none dare leave pass that. She inhales and then exhales. The watered eyes disappear as she wills them away. Lips are pursed and hands tightens their hold on ends of her shirt.

She tries to slow down, but before she knows it, everything is pouring out!

"During the chaos, I felt so many people dying. I...can see when death is about to happen before it does. Who it's coming for and when...but there were so many that I couldn't keep up. In the end a friend of mine lost his life, too. That feeling is still with me though. It's over, but I can't help but feel this lingering doom. And...and--and I don't know. I'm scared that the spirit is coming. That spirit i mentioned before."

[existentialismee]

Her silence spoke volumes in itself, lingering on even after he shared his experiences. There must have been an incredible amount of strife on her mind, lingering weight on her shoulders, even if everything was now said and done.

Not that he could blame her in the least, as he felt the same, as well.

".. it was the least I could do," though her praises were heartfelt, Watanuki wondered if he truly deserved them. Even despite his best efforts, he still let someone die within the walls of the shop; the very place that was supposed to protect everyone who chose to hide there. Despite if it was Dys' wish.. he still felt that he had failed him in some way. "It is what this shop is meant for, after all; to help those who need it.. even if it was in a different way this time."

The way she moved, then; hiding her hands under the table, unable to drink from her cup of tea, pulled a slight frown across the shopkeeper's expression. It was clear through her words that she was indeed still worried about something, as if she was afraid to speak it into the open, lest she breathe life into her concerns.

"Hanabi-san.."

In hopes to comfort her, Watanuki raised one of his hands again; gently placing it on her shoulder.

"I will not force you to tell me what you endured.. but you are safe to do so with me. The pain you experienced.. it will only take hold of you and drag you down if you keep it locked inside of you; if you've felt a shift of some kind, a change in the air after what has happened.. it will not worsen what has already happened. And it would never be a burden to listen to your concerns."

He smiled at her, ever so slightly.

"There are not many, even here, who have experienced what we have.. so in times like these, we must remember to rely on each other. Don't you agree?"

Both hands are placed around the cup to keep it steady as Watanuki pours the hot content into her cup. The aroma is nice. It helps ease the nerves, for the most part at least.

Watanuki doesn't finish, but Hanabi knows very well what he means. They both had gone through very similar outcomes during the chaos. She can only imagine just how many lost souls wander the city. With the branches sealed off, there was nowhere to go for them. Not the shrine and certainly not a place to move on.

She tried to get to a shelter, herself, but couldn't make it for multiple reasons. It wasn't until the end that she was able to find someplace safe, but not after witnessing all the horrors.

"Thank you for being there for them. I'm sure it was enough to know that there was someone out there who'd take anyone in and help them." It was all anyone could really do. Watanuki had done what he could to make sure those who found refuge in his shop were comfortable and safe. That was enough.

She hasn't touched her tea, and instead of lifting the cup, she removes her hands from it and places trembling hands underneath the table, on her lap.

"It wasn't easy. It never is, no matter how used to it we are, right? During and after everything though, I feel....like something's changed."

[existentialismee]

There was still fight left in him-- Watanuki could feel it through their joined hands, see the strain on Dys' face, the battle that raged throughout his entire body. But he would remain through it all, during each moment Dys had to brace himself for the worst; as the poison's hold took hold of him more, dragging him down deeper, and deeper..

As the grip of his hand became loose. As his breathing grew more quiet, shallow; until the quiet rise and fall of his chest stopped completely.

Watanuki waited, just a little longer, still keeping the hold of their fingers.. until the reality truly settled in.

Dys was gone.

The shopkeeper's face remained motionless; still, stagnant, like an unmoving body of water. Yet his eyes closed as he gave the other one final squeeze, moving Dys' hand to rest it upon his now silent form. Any moment now, he would disappear completely; called down to the Abyss, and then hopefully.. he could make his return here safely. Watanuki wished he could meet him at the doors, and greet him upon his resurrection immediately.. but there was still so much to protect here. He couldn't leave, lest the stronghold of the shop was taken over completely.

".. I'm sorry," he whispered, hands now balled into fists in his lap as his head lowered some. "I'm sorry.. that I cannot do anything more for you."

.. yet as he spoke, a strong sense of familiarity struck Watanuki at the front of his head; eyes widening slightly as he forced himself to look up again. Dys' body was still there, silent and cold, yet above him..

"... Dys."

In a form perhaps only Watanuki could see, Dys was still there. Spirit separated from body, coming apart like a seam; causing absolute shock and horror to ripple across the shopkeeper's expression. He startled some, as Mugetsu reacted the same; hands suspended at his sides as his lips parted, searching for the words to speak.

"I don't--.. I don't understand, I.." it wasn't supposed to be like this. Dys was not supposed to experience true death-- not here, not in this world.. as if the words of comfort Watanuki spoke were all lies. "You're still here. Your spirit.. is.."

".. I can see it. I can.. see you."

He can feel the squeeze of his hand, even if it feels faint and far away in the moment. He doesn't relax exactly: his body holds too much tension for that, a result of combined stress and suffering. If he could move, he might have curled into himself, trying to withdraw and wait it out.

But that's just too much effort for how exhausted he is and with the state his body is in.

His breathing is shallow as he fights through the pain as much as possible, eyes scrunching shut tightly as his mouth twists into a pained frown, teeth firmly gritting together.

At this point, Dys isn't sure how much more of this he can handle. But unconsciousness finally starts to take hold, now that he no longer has to force himself to stay awake. He doesn't have to hold out while the life slowly drains from him as blood continues to pool from the wound on his shin and poison burns its way through his veins.

Eventually, it’s enough that he takes his last few breaths— weak, but there, thinking to himself: this is it. An end he never really expected to experience.

His hand’s grip goes slack as his body lays motionless on the bed.

What he doesn’t expect is the weird out of body experience that is to follow. Looking in from the outside, only faintly aware of his ‘soul’ detaching from the body itself.

[existentialismee]