exit-pursued-by-a-lesbian - Tumblr blog

[exit-pursued-by-a-lesbian]

we really need to talk about the “and all the pieces fall right into place” to “‘cause it fit too right, puzzle pieces in the dead of night / should’ve known it was a matter of time” pipeline

[exit-pursued-by-a-lesbian]

so long, london - taylor swift

[exit-pursued-by-a-lesbian]

I’ll never forget the time my parents said they were going out for a few hours, and left my siblings and me at home by ourselves (ages 9-14), and instead of going nuts or just sitting around, we all rushed and did our hair and makeup and got dressed as fancy as we could; sister pulled out the wine glasses and grape juice and made an hors d'oeuvres platter, another googled how to play poker, pulled out chips from a different game, dimmed the lights, and we set up a fancy 4-person gambling den at the kitchen table and played until my parents said they were on their way back with dinner. Then we quickly picked everything up, washed our faces, changed back into our casual clothes, and pretended nothing ever happened. They never found out.

[exit-pursued-by-a-lesbian]

Bro, We Are Homies . Its Ok To Infodump To Me . Im Ur Friend . I Love You . And Your OCs. … Bro, We Are Drawing Eachother Fanart Now . . No Dont Stop Randomly Messaging Me Bro .. Bro … 

[exit-pursued-by-a-lesbian]

i feel this on a very deep level

[exit-pursued-by-a-lesbian]

Because folks liked my latest pigeon comic so much, here's another pigeon piece!

I made this a couple years ago for a sadly now defunct publication called Pipe Wrench. I hope this piece helps spread more pigeon love.

[exit-pursued-by-a-lesbian]

EXACTLY!

[exit-pursued-by-a-lesbian]

Things my extremely Italian physics professor has said:

“If you are walking in the woods nearby Chernobyl, you will probably be fine. But if you pick something up off the ground and eat it, you will die of radiation poisoning. Of course you may die if you eat things from the ground in other places, also, but likely not of radiation.”

“Unfortunately there is nothing I can teach you that will prevent you dying if there is on your house a hydrogen bomb. That is a politician problem. If any of you are president later, please do not hydrogen bomb my house.”

“Radioactivity could perhaps be used by terrorists, but it has not yet. Likely this is because terrorists do not study much physics.”

“Why is it that physics graduate students cannot make a nuclear bomb? It is not that they do not want to. They simply have not the money to buy the materials. Or anything else.”

[exit-pursued-by-a-lesbian]

it's always so fascinating and heartbreaking when a character in a story is simultaneously idolized and abused. a chosen prophet destined for martyrdom. a child prodigy forced to grow up too fast. a powerful warrior raised as nothing but a weapon. there's just something so uniquely messed up about singing someone's praises whilst destroying them.

[exit-pursued-by-a-lesbian]

I smoke weed and my dick fall off

[exit-pursued-by-a-lesbian]

(me, my parents, my sister, and the baby are sitting at the kitchen table eating lunch)

baby, pointing at the light fixture over the table and signing "on": o.*

my sister: we actually can't turn that light on right now, because the lightbulb inside is burnt out! it needs a new one.

baby: ighbu.

sister: yes, lightbulb! granddaddy said after we eat he's going to climb up there on a ladder and change it, and then the light will come on!

baby: gadada! adda, uuu! ighbu o!

sister: exactly!

baby, signing "on" and pointing at the light and then my dad, with increasing urgency: GADADA ADDA UUUU. O.

my sister: we're going to finish eating first though, ok?

baby: nonono. O. gadada adda uuu.

[a split second goes by]

baby, pointing to himself: ba. adda uuu. ighbu.

me: you're going to climb the ladder and change the lightbulb yourself?

baby: dzyeah. *pointing to the buckle where he is buckled into the high chair* ububu.

me: unbuckle you? so you can change the lightbulb?

baby, highly businesslike: dzyeah.

*pronounced like "on" without the n

[exit-pursued-by-a-lesbian]

[exit-pursued-by-a-lesbian]

Linguistics is cancelled

[exit-pursued-by-a-lesbian]

He can’t. He’s bad at drawing.

I drew this a month ago, made myself cry laughing about it, and then completely forgot about it until now, when I picked up my sketchbook

[exit-pursued-by-a-lesbian]

i have not stopped laughing at this

[exit-pursued-by-a-lesbian]

THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT 📜 And so I enter into evidence my tarnished coat of arms. My muses, acquired like bruises. My talismans and charms. The tick, tick, tick of love bombs. My veins of pitch black ink. All’s fair in love and poetry.