exodiust - Tumblr blog

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character who is sun-coded but not in the traditional ray-of-sunshine way. character who is sun-coded in the sense that they burn hot and bright and powerful, that they're a raging fury of fire and passion, and that maybe, just maybe, they are destroying themselves as they do so.

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HxH - Dodgeball Scene

Note: This isn't really an analysis but more of a rant, hence it being messy, haha .. (^^ ;) Everything is based on my own opinion too, so I don't guarantee it would satisfy everyone. But anyway, enjoy ur read! :3

(Chapter 166, episode 70.)

If someone asks me which HxH scene is the most misunderstood one, I would say it's this:

I've seen almost EVERYONE in this fandom say that this scene was very "selfish" and "insensitive" of Gon. But dude, c'mon. Do you really think Gon wouldn't give a flying fuck about Killua getting hurt just for his own benefit? He isn't that type of friend. In fact, he literally hates it when Killua willingly hurts himself, like he gets so mad and bothered.

Take this scene for example:

But what piqued my interest was how he still kept this moment in mind after a bunch of chapters later:

It shows how he still didn't forget about that situation, and thought about this self-destructive trait of Killua carefully. Pretty ironic for getting mad at Killua for being like this when Gon himself is also self-destructive, haha. It's like it's indicating that Gon knows how it feels like being self-destructive, so he's trying to stop Killua from feeling that aswell. Keep that in mind though, I'll be talking about it later on. :3

In the mean time, I think it's important to look carefully on to details even if it's tiny. I noticed a few things about this panel too:

Only Gon is drawn with a 💢, and he's also doing a ❌️ finger sign (it's so funny.) I get it probably doesn't have any deeper meaning but the fact that it's like that shows how much he dislikes it if u ask me. 😭😭 I mean, bisky just looks disappointed, not mad. Why not add a 💢 on her too? That's 'cause she's not THAT bothered by it, and it's implying the difference of how they take this trait. And well, Gon takes it SERIOUSLY. So point is, he's not insensitive when it comes to Killua intentionally hurting himself as we see him clearly despising it.

Anyway, remember how I told u to keep that one thing in mind? Yeah, Gon knowing how it feels like being self-destructive and all. We all know that the reason he does this is because he feels weak, and so he has this need to prove himself strong and useful to feel better, right? Well.. I feel like as time goes by, Gon thinks that Killua is also doing this because of the same reason. He notices how far Killua goes just to prove himself worthy too. So when he voluntarily decides to take painful hits in the dodgeball game, Gon encourages it instead. He knows how it feels to be seen as weak, not useful, and not needed. Taking risks for something, but people don't encourage that. They just tell you to stop, not knowing that it would just make you feel even more useless, making you feel like you did all of that for nothing because it was never enough. Gon is aware of that, so he does the opposite to Killua. Don't you guys get it? If he told Killua to just stop, Killua would feel unworthy and not good enough. He's going out of his way to help Gon, he free-willingly decides to take those hits. If Gon told him to stop, it would feel like rejection–that Gon didn't appreciate all that effort, and is techincally telling Killua that his help meant nothing. You can see how Killua was so desperate, he was so pushy with the "I can take one more hit!!! Gon, let me do it!!" and now imagine if Gon said no💀 That would be rejecting his help/an act out of love (platonic or romantic idc.) THAT would be the one that's ACTUALLY insensitive to Killua.

So Gon shows appreciation and encouragement instead, letting Killua's effort not be in vain. Saying stuff like how he NEEDS Killua to be the one that holds the ball for him, how he can't focus if it's not Killua–he needs Killua's help and Killua himself. All of that, is definitely what Killua needed to know too. It literally made him smile and felt more upbeat after, how could people say it was insensitive and would hurt Killua's feelings? 😭 He's happy to know that Gon does care about his efforts for him after all. ᵔᴗᵔ ♡

One thing I'd like to say though is that; That was still unhealthy for both of them. They think self-destructing is the only way they'll feel loved. 🙁 Of course I agree that it was most definitely bad, and it's not a good thing that Gon just fueled up Killua's self-destructive tendencies even more..😭🙏 BUT the point here is that, it wasn't insensitive and selfish of Gon in that moment, okay!?!? They both saw it in a positive light, even though.. it was definitely bad... but uhm anyways yeah, everyone should stop being so upset with this scene. You all are misunderstanding it and it's painful. 😔

But hooray thanks for listening!

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thinking about that "I don't have anyone close to me" line 🤔

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Using colored pencils at dawn is therapeutic

(I also wanted to make killua, but I was sleepy)

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Anyone arguing that Killua isn't in love with Gon is out of their minds

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muruem and killua both on their knees begging palm to save their beloved komugi and gon. I just realized this parallel today and im unwell.

togashi created palm to facilitate the new themes of love and coming of age in the chimera ant arc. and created multiple parallels between the two pairs

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Killugon crumbs in 2024 I literally manifested this

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Togashi really is a cruel man. To make Gon realize Killua is what's most important right when he has Killua stop caring and leave him behind. I really don't get why he invested so much in showing how strong their bond is only to destroy it and make Killua essentially discard their bond just because Gon screwed up once.

Hi anon! So, I definitely disagree with the way you're seeing what happened between them.

I recommend reading these two posts, for those who haven't already:

In-Depth analysis on the Hidden Reasons behind Gon & Killua's separation scene (ep 147) Why Gon is 'Number 2'

Reason for Hope: A Gon and Killua Meta

I made a post on a similar topic somewhat recently, but I want to reiterate that this isn't how I see their parting at all. Their relationship reached a painful and complicated point due to their respective inabilities to cope with the traumatic situation they were in (and lack of full communication between them, etc.), but I don't think this is the end of the road for them by any means. It's clear that neither of them were happy to part, that there is so much unsaid between them, and I think the decision to separate came from a number of complex reasons, some of which were external (i.e., the danger of Illumi pursuing Killua and Alluka/Nanika).

They both need time apart to process what happened and mature, but, the way they parted, it's clearly supposed to be a temporary thing. There are so many aspects of the separation indicating that. There's a lot unresolved between them and I believe that, after some time apart, they'll find their ways back together to heal again. The themes of the entire series are such that I'd be shocked if the plan is not for them to be happy together again in time. It feels incredibly important to the way the series is set up that ultimately, at the end of everything, they'll be able to be together over the long term.

The separation is painful, and especially because we still haven't had a reunion within the series so far, but I'm all but certain that, assuming Togashi can reach that point in the story, they'll come back together and the separation will be a healthy thing for them over the longer term. Both need to have a stronger sense of their own identities and come into themselves more in order to have the level of closeness they were developing in a more balanced way.

Killua may have convinced himself to temporarily put some distance between him and Gon because Alluka and Nanika need him the most right now and because of all he and Gon just went through and his pain and uncertainties around that, but Gon transformed his life and clearly means the world to him, even now. I truly don't think this is where their story leaves off, nor do I think it will be a permanent obstacle to their happiness together. It's just a part of the process of them understanding how much they mean to each other and growing through the pain and sadness they've both been through in different ways. The two of them were so happy together, and I believe they'll ultimately get to be happy together again in a more stable, lasting way. It's all just a matter of time.

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did a redraw of this !!

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if you ever wanna feel a little crazy just think about all the ways leorio & kurapika contrast and compliment each other at every point in the story

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something else interesting about Gon’s birthday being Children’s Day: one Children’s Day tradition is to display dolls of Kintaro, a figure from Japanese folklore. Kintaro is a boy with superhuman strength who was raised by his mother alone on a mountain and so grew up in the wilderness making friends with and learning to speak to animals.

Kintaro in kanji is 金太郎, often translated as “Golden Boy”, with the 金 kin meaning gold. Kanji typically have a few ways of being read and another of 金’s readings is gon.

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Gon walked the two Zoldyck siblings down the entry garden walkway from the Freeces estate.

“Thank you again for coming, Miss Alluka.” Gon smiled politely at Alluka, with all the charm he was taught growing up, the same smile that made most women swoon. He was happy to see that affect as she hid her blush behind an elaborate sewn fan. Manners and charisma was everything when you were an aristocrat with no money because your father and head of household ran off with all of it. What for was alot of rumors, with the truth only being held by the woman of the house Mito Freeces, and she would never say to Gon.

“It was a pleasure, Mr. Freeces, I’m sure.” She said and curtsied. Gon rushed forward with an extra step to beat the coachman to the door of the carriage, and opened it for her. Gon must do his best to win her affection, the Zoldycks were the wealthiest in their small Torvician town. For Gon’s family and line to continue in any sort of tradition and pride, he needed to bag himself a high ranking bride to head the affairs and gain inheritance. Alluka was the least sought after, so Gon’s target. He felt bad but Mito urged him to play this little royalty game.

Gon gave a small bow in return to her curtsey and felt the carriage dip as she climbed on. He lifted his head and felt his breath catch, not for the first time that night. He stood face to face with Sir Killua Zoldyck. He had stricking white hair, surely blessed by the gods and the coldest eyes that held so much mystery and intrigue, Gon wanted to discover more. Killua had come as a guide and chaperon to Miss Alluka, as it wasn’t proper to have an unmarried woman go to another man’s house during match making season. Gon wasn’t sure why the head of the Zoldyck household did not come, surely it was Silva’s responsibility? But Gon couldnt find he was upset with the trade. As much as Gon worked to focus on Alluka all evening, Killua was the one who continued to catch his eye, his grace and beauty and subtle affection to his sister through conversation in the night. Not to mention he cleared out their sweets tray for the night before the spread and crackers had a dent in it.

Now Killua was pinning Gon with an intense stare that made Gon’s knees go weak.

“Mr. Freeces. We look forward to seeing you again and continued correspondence.” He said and held out his hand, half angled downwards, to Gon.

“Y-yes, of course.” Gon barely was able to stammer out. Gods, where we his charism and wit now? A brief, firm shake, and Killua dipped into the carriage as well. Gon closed the door and realized as Killua slipped his hands out of Gon’s, he left behind a single white glove. Off of Killua’s right hand. Still warm.

Gon felt a shiver go down his spine from such a blatant show of intimacy. It was forward, that much was certain, and now Gon knows Killua was as affected by him that night as he was him. Gon lifted his head to watch the carriage ride off, lifting the glove to his lips to inhale the lingering scent of Killua. Killua peaked out the back of the carriage and caught his eye. Gon flushed from getting caught and also felt a rush of heat pool in his belly.

“This season will not be as straight forward as one hoped…” Gon whispered into the night air.

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Been thinking about this real hard, and if I had to construct this in my mind, now all of you have to!

You know the headcanon that Ging is Gon’s only parent because he was probably made using the greed island rock card that if you hold it long enough it gives you a baby? And Gon was probably made as Ging tested out if this card worked, which was why Gon was in Greed Island in Ging’s arms and he was the first person Gon met?

Doesn’t this mean Gon is a nen beast in that headcannon which explains his crazy good stamina, strength, enhanced olfactory senses, and boundless nen energy?

IDK maybe Im just rambling nonsense now, but anyway, au where Gon is a nen beast and never knew.

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my best friend killua!!!

redraw of this fun art prompt

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is it so bad

to live without your light?

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ATTENTION! Please leave your ideal marriage proposal for killugon ✋

tbh anon i’ve always envisioned Gon proposing to Killua on whale island, on a quiet moment at night after a nice date together ;w;

it wouldn’t be a conventional proposal for sure (i dont envision engagement rings, but i envision a strong promise), but gon would bring up how he and killua said to travel the world together years ago, and how they had separate goals before (gon looking for his dad, killua finding what he wants to do while accompanying gon), but now gon would muster all his courage to ask killua if he would like to go on endless adventures together with him ;w;

it’d all have to depend on killua’s goals in the moment! at the very least gon would ask if he could follow killua this time, as killua pursues what he wants to do :)

ITS VERY SELF INDULGENT BUT BABY THATS ALL I WANT IN LIFE