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And don't begin that crap of the spewing of the american arrogance. Just don't be a last minute hero to somehow alleviate your inherent human guilt, one that is aware of the wrongfulness of our society, but how could we abandon the chance at a second Babylon, how could we not challenge God like this. This Goddamn (hahaha) capitalist notion of a country relies on the daily materialistic consumerism, obviously resourced from the third world or other areas we exploit, to keep us content and comfortable. God is a jealous entity, much forgotten among the arrogant.

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Around the month of May one of my closest friends of three years completely betrayed me in a legit business deal and tried stealing $3100 from a 22 yr old, mind you this woman is 35 years with a five year old, and I was also additionally supporting her for an entire year while she made me her little project, due to the no job ever thing she had going on for apparently her whole life. Every detail she told me of her life turned out to be a lie. The worst part is she targeted my loneliness (i don't really have family and I live alone in a big city), my PTSD from two previous abusive relationships, but the real manipulation came from her pretending to care about my sobriety and I really relied on her as a mother figure (obviously I have major mommy issues) and we went from being friends to her disappearing and me finding out she was never sending in my payments. i got her ex to get the money back and I had this piece of shit guy friend drive me over to where she was at. So with the help of her ex I got all my money back, but in that moment of seeing her for the last time she truly revealed how much she was only using me. It shattered me so bad that I completely blacked out two months (270 xanax, countless gs, weed, literally I was taking 10 xans a days...which DUH gotta get me some coca to wake my ass up) worth of "memories" I'd probably say end of may thru beginning of August. I seriously don't have memory of that time, then I came back and now Garth and I are living together bc an issue came up with my dog, my landlord and his family insisted animal abuse, but mostly it was time to move on. I remember screaming a few weeks again at God, "GET ME THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!!" But literally didn't know I was moving 45 min from my job into a fresh relationship, although known quite well for three years. I met Megan and Garth (yes these are the people, please try and keep with the mania,) at TGIF. As a server you introduce yourself, ask how their night was going, you know my job duties. Well the painstakingly prepared salutation, was immediately dismissed by her only responding with, "what drink do you have that had redbull?"

Immediately enthralled by the anxiety this woman, a bloodly stranger, always was (the term, "bloodly" is a reference to her entitled British background, btw one of the most offensive immigrant stories since the famed Trump administration. She is one of the worst white people, heritage wise, considering the sun never set on the U.K., how they colonized most of the world, they are basically in debt to earth for a longer time then we could imagine. You can try, but really any form of thinking outside of any particular western civilization lifestyle, forms a basis of hypocrisy, under us all, you, the family, the dogs, the house, the nearby fucking Wal-mart.

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Everything ok?

If you or someone you know is a victim of abuse, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.  Trained advocates are available 24/7 to take your call.

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“I am stronger than my abuser will ever be.”

—

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Trauma things #73: You became a writer because no one listened.

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Trauma things #56 You have stopped talking about it ‘cause your “normal” friends don’t understand.

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Trauma things #98: You couldn’t leave until things got fatal (figuratively or literally).

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Trauma things #82: Being afraid of success because you were targeted when you stood out.

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Trauma things #91: Having panic attacks.

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*me seeing the red flags*

*is isolated from friends and family*

*actual begins to experience abuse*

*begins to enjoy it*

*stays*

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ok but stop associating bisexuality with threesomes

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