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if I can’t be weird with you then wtf

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The Haunted House

Happy Halloween! My new picture book WHAT COLOR IS NIGHT? is out next week! Find it at your favorite bookstore, or order online here:

AMAZON (international shipping available): amzn.to/2ps40Qn

B&N: bit.ly/2oBlGbC

INDIEBOUND: bit.ly/2mYvD2u

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ADHD

2016

Zhou Wendou

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I love people with a friendly, down to earth, chill vibe. people without pretence or pride, who don’t make you feel like you have act a certain way to impress them, or that they’re silently judging you. you‘re comfortable around them and you can just be yourself. their whole aura is so welcoming and warm

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are you ok

disney built the biggest and most expensive animatronic ever in their history and then built a mountain around it and it BROKE a couple of months after the ride opened and it’s impossible to fix it without dismantling the entire mountain structure and that’s honestly the most hilarious verified disney fact™ ever

the second most hilarious being that the chum animatronic on the finding nemo ride at epcot used to pop out of the barrel to scare guests but one time a cast member was walking past it during an opening/closing procedure and it popped out and smacked them clean in the face so now it’s turned off permanently

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I think eating food with friends is the most fundamental form of connection it just doesn’t get better than sharing a meal w friends

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concentrates really hard and turns all the microplastics in my body into a gift card for olive garden that has $2 on it

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nothing makes me happier than making eye contact with a dog in public and their tail starts to wag

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baby me, sorting m&ms by color and then into a gradient: now this is how you have fun!

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I love when dogs and cats just let you pat the shit out of them and they enjoy it so much. Like yeah dude real quick I just need to play you like a bongo and they’re like god yes I’ve been waiting for someone to play me like a bongo

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I know I just called you dude but I’m trying to flirt with you