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SMASH that mf reblog button if u love she/they nonbinary people!! Youre never gonna be Woman Lite, your gender and indentity are all you own!!! Kiss your local she/they square on the lips

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I made pride rats!!

You can get them in stickers, phone cases, totes, prints, and more on my new Redbubble shop!

Please check it out if you have the time. If not, reblogs always help! Thank you so much for your support!!

EDIT: He now comes with an aromantic heart as well!! My apologies for forgetting it before.

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The struggle got even more real

I’m not sure why I’m typing this here. Maybe because I don’t feel like I can really talk to anybody about it.

I’m genderfluid, so my gender identity changes over time. This is usually not a problem in my life, as the changes are often fairly mild, and most people don’t really notice. However, recently, my gender identity took a massive swing to masc. Maybe because I’m married to a person that seems to love me no matter what. Maybe because I’m far overseas from America, and it’s actually quite easy to find things like binders and gender neutral clothing (in China of all places, who would have throught?).

I had the money to spend on binders and more masc clothes, so I did. My husband has known for quite a while now that I’m genderfluid, but has never seemed bothered by it. But now, after having a frank talk with him about feeling more masc and getting the binders, he is massively uncomfortable. I told him that I wasn’t going to make any permanent changes to my body, that I wasn’t interested in hormones or surgery, and that sooner or later, the pendulum will swing. But he is still in a state of distress over it. He couldn’t even look at me wearing a binder tank top. He was edgy all morning until he finally blurted out, “Why do you need a compression top?”

What ensued was a discussion, that turned into an argument, which turned into me crying and shoving all my masc gear into the back of a drawer. He feels terrible about it, wants me to continue to wear what makes me feel comfortable, and he says he will find a way to deal with his feelings. But I don’t think I can handle him looking physically repulsed by what I wear. That alone makes the comfort disappear. How can I do something that makes him so upset? I depend on him a lot for my emotional wellbeing, and I don’t want to feel like he can’t bear to be around me while I’m wearing them.

I even got a STP device that was actually marketed towards women, just because I thought it would be fun. It is, but the arrival of it disturbed him even further.

He’s not a jerk. He’s very progressively minded, and he says he’s hating himself for feeling uncomfortable with my presentation. Part of me wants to scream at him that he should feel bad for being such an asshole to someone he claims to love, but I can’t, because I can see him trying, and I can see his distress that his own brain is making him feel something he regards as unacceptable. He WANTS to be accepting, but he can’t.

I don’t know what to do. This is not worth splitting up a marriage with a 5 year old son, that much I know. We still love each other. But I cannot stand to see that look in his eye, even as he tries to suppress it, that he is heterosexual, and finds nothing attractive in my masc presentation. I suppose this means going back in the closet, even at home.

I was so looking forward to going out on Tuesday to the SWIC coffee morning wearing my binder, finally explaining to the ladies that I’m not a “lady” per se, and just being completely out of the closet. I feel like a dream has been taken away, and I’m so sad.

I’m not sure if there even is a solution to this that doesn’t involve me suppressing a part of who I am, or splitting up with my husband (hard pass on splitting up, he’s a beautiful person, inside and out, and this is the first hint of him not 100% accepting and loving me just as I am). Maybe, if someone actually managed to get through this post, some words of encouragement, or some soothing phrases.

Thanks for reading, if you made it this far, you beautiful, beautiful creatures.

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Balkan sworn virgins- Balkan sworn virgins are women in the Balkan nations of Albania, Kosovo, Macedonia, Serbia, Montenegro, Croatia, and Bosnia; who take a vow of chastity and live as men. The reasons why someone becomes a sworn virgin are varied, including wanting to avoid an arranged marriage, identifying as a man or being attracted to women, or wanting the privileges usually afford to men in society. The sworn virgin oath, the Kanun, is irreligious, allowing Catholics, Orthodox, and Muslims to join. Today, sworn virgins are mostly found in Macedonia and Albania. The Communist Albanian government attempted to stamp out the practice, but there has been some resurgence in it since the 1990s.

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https://twitter.com/archeometrie/status/1170031822614474752?s=12

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For some reason, it never occurred to me that Project Gutenberg would have public domain old cookbooks. This is BRILLIANT. There’s a 1953 cranberry recipe pamphlet and a suffrage cookbook from 1915 and a translation of Apicus’s guide to food in Imperial Rome and a whole bunch of other fascinating old cookbooks, many pre-1800. Treasure trove!

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Katharine Hepburn as Amazon warrior princess Antiope & Colin Keith-Johnston as Theseus in stage production of The Warrior’s Husband (1932) (Corbis)

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