Recently I was going through a break up but I am okay now, in a much better place.
But you know what, this year that 4 year relationship was not really something that hurt me it was that one friendship break up. It was not because of the person or what. It was more of the realization I had after that friendship.
I was so heartbroken by how much I was showing up for this person, of how much I wholeheartedly and innocently loved this person as she is only to realize now that it was never reciprocated because I she thinks she’s to cool for us.
I should’ve seen it before, we would tag her in all of these memes and funny videos and she can never do the same because you know, its not cool on her timeline or her cooler friends would see them or I don’t know but those simple things.
I would never do that ever again. I would show up as much as the other person is showing up for me. But I would never stop showing my love for those people who love me.
I finally let go of my 4+ year relationship with my ex. This is my first break up even though it hurts like hell, I knew it was necessary.
This is my first relationship and I have learned a lot but no one has told me how hard its going to be, maybe I’ve seen it in movies and have heard it through other people but the pain is unexplainable. Your heart hurts and your whole body hurts that you are unable to move. You can’t eat even though you know you should.
I was talking to my sister and her husband about the breakup and in the background my sister’s husband said “Ate, alam mo naman yan noon pa”.
And it hits me. He is right.
The funny thing is that somehow, I knew, as cliché as it sounds, you know as a woman, you see the signs, but you continue to ignore them because you love the person. You are holding on to that hope that eventually through time, by talking to them or making them realize things, they will change.
Until they don’t.
Right now, I’m okay.
But you really get that random wave of sadness because a lot of things remind you of them.
You suddenly disassociate and reminisce about that one happy little memory you had with them.
And it hurt like hell.
You also go through a lot of questions.
With yourself, with the relationship, with him.
Was I too sensitive? Why can’t you let it slide this time?
One of the hardest things is literally your heart and mind contradicts each other.
I’ve only seen it in movies and heard it in songs and now I know that it does.
I’ve learned a lot but here I am again, intellectualizing my feelings instead of feeling them.
I do love him, and I know he does love me too. (or does he?) I’m not so confident now as I feel used and manipulated because I’ve loved the person.
This is the main reason why 4 years ago, I didn’t want to enter a relationship. I cannot take the time back, but if I can, would I? I don’t I will because in between those memories, I was happy with him.
This is a lot of gibberish. It just fucking hurts. It hurts to think that this is a random Monday with him and here I am hurting.
Anyone else afraid of being “found out”. I am so scared of being found out of my twisted thoughts. Things that I want to really say but I can’t because its bad.
The Eras Tour has been the most meaningful, electric experience of my life so far and I’m overjoyed to tell you that it’ll be coming to the big screen soon 😆 Starting Oct 13th you’ll be able to experience the concert film in theaters in North America! Tickets are on sale now at taylor.lnk.to/TSTheErasTourFilm. Eras attire, friendship bracelets, singing and dancing encouraged 🫶 1, 2, 3 LGB!!!! (iykyk)