eyeteethmonster

[eyeteethmonster]

Paradoxes.

Appreciating that you’re seen, but not wanting to be known Wanting to be known, but not wanting to be predictable Wanting to care, and care, and care, and love But not wanting to waste what precious little energy you have on it

Appreciating when someone understands your limitations But nevertheless despising those limitations and how they hold you back And imagining that maybe just maybe if you’re challenged You could grow.

Finding new, small things that make you immeasurable amounts of happy But wondering why this? And why can’t that passion be elsewhere? Appreciating your family, being in awe of its strength through hardship Self-referencing yourself as an outsider, even if loved, a stray thread

Loving the nuances in interactions you view, that you have no part in Fearing that you are not nearly so dutifully observant with your own contacts Being consumed by curiosity and a desire to learn and understand something But having the complexity of the subject matter fly over your head. Repeatedly

Trying, and trying, and doing everything you can And still failing.

[eyeteethmonster]

In order to McFreakin’ obtain, something of equal value must be McFreakin’ lost.

[eyeteethmonster]

author: so in this world there are immortal fire-breathing dragons

everybody: cool!

author: also half the army is female

everybody: um, isn’t that a bit unrealistic? :/

[eyeteethmonster]

also you know what

you know what really fucking pisses me off about the whole “GASP ADULTS WRITING ABOUT KIDS” discourse

you know what really fucking pisses me off?

hi. i grew up in the bible belt of the midwest. as a young queer slowly coming to terms with being Super Not Straight, I grew up a town where there was one grocery store and eleven churches. on nice sunny days, before real summer heat set in, the chances of well-dressed smiling proselytizing boys with free copies of their holy books showing up at your door approached 100 percent. in my high school, there were to my knowledge about four queer kids, myself included in that number, and one of them was terrified to come out or even be seen with other boys because he grew up in the kind of household where you would absofuckinglutely be thrown out for being gay.

i did not have a queer childhood. this was just as the proliferation of the internet was starting to become a thing, but your best bet to get on a computer would be to go to the local library. the librarian, btw, was a devout christian and was part of the baptist church across the street. so the idea of using free resources to reach out or research what the fuck it meant to be queer was literally not an option.

i did not get queer literature. i did not get queer media. i subsisted on fandom, because it was the only type of content i knew that talked about being queer, that was positive about it, and was often created by adults who would point you to resources to help. this was before scarleteen and teen vogue and other sites.

fandom was my queer community, because i had zero alternatives. society gave me no alternatives.

and now I am looking at all these fearmongering puritanical moralizing shitheels go on and on about how any adult who writes about younger people is a predatory pedo

I did not get a fucking queer childhood. And if I want to sit down and write or read a story about queer teens who get a better shot, who do find love and feel comfortable experimenting with their sexuality instead of treating it like a potential death sentence,

you do not get to sit there and tell me what a fucking terrible human I am. I was a fucking kid too, and these are my stories too. they, in fact, are the stories fucking owed to me by a world that taught me to be afraid. and that part of my history as a human did not get erased when i passed some arbitrary milestone of time.

Society already stole the upbringing I should have had and locked me in a fucking closet until i was in my mid 20s, and you puritanical myopic shits have the fucking audacity to say me reaching back to try and remember something better makes me a pedophile, you dogwhistling dumbfucks.

you are literally on the same side as the people who made my best friend afraid his dad would beat him to death for coming out. that is where you stand. you use the same tactics and the same scripts. “oh if you are interested in these things…… that means you’re Wrong and will probably go to Hell :( why do you want to be such a bad person when you can be Straight And Pure?”

fuck off

[eyeteethmonster]

clockwork city

[eyeteethmonster]

This is no place for mortals. 

[eyeteethmonster]

[eyeteethmonster]

Some of My Favorite Things

From my weekly campaign of Werewolf: The Apocalypse with my friends

Campaign: The Remedy

Dungeonmaster/Storyteller: 

@myymsie (And also @rhilyn from time-to-time)

Players

The Child of Gaia Ragabash Metis ALPHA of the pack: Bringer of lemons, herder of cats, cosplaying nerd-child, Disney prince complete with magical flute, without whom this pack would be a fucking wreck...Rhilyn (Played by @rhilyn )

Giant Lupus-Born Black Fury Biker Babe whose motorcycle is possessed by a storm spirit. Who feels many emotions but cannot express a single one of them. Who is subtle as a brick and loves watching human television and chasing rabbits...Ed (Played by @anouroboros )

Bespoke Glasswalker Philodox Werewolf Batman, whose cleverness and etiquette-savvy ways are matched only by his abject horror for the very notion of getting mud on his suit. Who decided the best thing to do with the gift of being a werewolf was to become a goddamned vigilante superhero...Feng (Played by @keytar-hero )

Couch-surfing Nuwisha who likes to pretend he’s a dog of a different sort, looks at things with a slightly cockeyed stare, and really likes ravens and cowboy paraphernalia...Lalit (Played by yours truly)

THE ADVENTURES, PRESENTED BRIEF AND WITHOUT CONTEXT

Rescued a kinfolk woman obsessed with Vampires who happened to be named “Anne Weiss”

A town full of Bobbys

Snuck into a music festival and set fire to the stage

Met Buffy the Everything Slayer

Trapped a child in a Pokeball

Represented/Impersonated the Vampire Ghoul Union

Elbow-dropped a Fomori, and promptly became sad.

Chased a dog star in space.

Danced with the Sun. Sang to the Moon.

Witnessed a scheduled plane crash into the middle of a city and proceeded to get into a car chase with many explosions.

Did a Fusion Dance

Jedi-Mind-Tricked a motorbike

“Palm Pilot”

Found the One Shiny Ring in a tree.

Got lost in a bog for a while and played in the mud.

Became “Knife Wolf”

Told a Wendigo to Stop Stinking and Succeeded

Ate an Enormous Lunch.

Smoked really good weed and saw the First Metis

“Hey who is your main in Smash Bros?”

Acquired a Cowboy Hat

Went hunting vampires, found an Angel/Demon instead. Pantsed said Angel/Demon and got Crucio Cursed.

Watched our Alpha DIE, then found them later in a fire. Literally. They were the fire. Pulled some goddamned Phoenix shit.

"Batman doesn't find himself in the swamps of Virginia that often."

Had to confess Our Secrets™

“Capitalism is a disease and its killing the world.” “So let’s be socialists.”

Laughed. Cried. And threw around the phrase “I hate you” with great endearment.

And we’re not even done yet.

[eyeteethmonster]

#dreams and Other Things That Ruined My Life: An Autobiography by eyeteethmonster

[eyeteethmonster]

You heard the bot, @myymsie You know what you did.

Ew, @myymsie, no.

Warmest regards,

The Tumbeasts

[eyeteethmonster]

[eyeteethmonster]

None of the comments on the right work anyway. EVER.

[eyeteethmonster]

This winter’s been shitty. Most kind of are. Hindsight’s 20/20 but we’re working on some new techniques To keep my brain out of the fryer.

It’s not working yet but it may. In time.

Somehow gotta change the vicious inner monologue into something more acceptable. It’s quite insistent. 

[eyeteethmonster]

some people on insta said i should post my workout routine since i mentioned how im so happy with the results, so here’s my little workout guide for my fellow trans folk! I focused on getting a more masculine body because obviously that’s what I want. I’m so happy with the results, this workout is saving my fucking life!!!! I can’t get on T soon so this has really been keeping my dysphoria in check. I barely get body dysphoria, i love how my clothes looks on me, i love feeling confident for once in my life!!! HOWEVER Don’t go overboard with working out my friends. Do not work out in a binder, you MUST take days off to let your muscles heal, and you CAN’T starve yourself! Fitness is all about health and diet! Take care of yourself. This is also MY workout routine, you may not get the same results as I have! Every body is different. 

[eyeteethmonster]

all hail.

[eyeteethmonster]

“you can’t have an asian elf. elves don’t have human races”

*puts my mouth on the mic* excuse me mr. big bad dungeon’s master but i think it’s gonna be hard for you to run this campaign when you’re too busy being a shitty little bitch