eyj-valerian-blog

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“I’m really hoping something good happens between us.”

—

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“I was waiting for the longest time, she said. I thought you forgot. It is hard to forget, I said, when there is such an empty space when you are gone.”

— Brian Andreas, Story People: Selected Stories & Drawings of Brian Andreas (via perrfectly)

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if you’re ever scared you’re not a good person, remember that bad people don’t care about being better 

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Eric Shaw

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Damn.

“i. boys like him lick their lips before they kiss you. boys like him tell you to lodge your tongue between their teeth. boys like him always ask you questions about your mother and the boys who broke you and it’s always: who are you hanging out with this weekend? or what’s your work schedule this week? ii. boys like him take take take but it’s okay because no one else has tried to know you the way they have. boys like him study the way your hair frames your face and they always tell you you’re beautiful, even through the heartache. iii. boys like him ask about you to divert the focus away from themselves. boys like him make you realize you have known them for months and they’ve never mentioned their little brother; you only know the way their eyes change color when they are upset. boys like him only give when they want to receive and never let you get close enough to hurt them. iv. boys like him are the mine mine mine guys but don’t worry it’s cute when they get jealous guys, the kind of guys who will make you delete every picture of you and your ex-boyfriend because it makes them feel insecure. 
v. boys like him care. they care too much or maybe it’s not enough or maybe they are that goddamn heartless that they can act like this, but boys like him tell you they want to throw up when they imagine you with anyone else. boys like him grow pale when they think they are not enough but 
vi. boys like him kiss girls behind closed doors. boys like him use sex as an excuse to mend their bruised egos and fuck up almost intentionally to shield their hearts. boys like him care about you, but they care about themselves more. boys like him know you could crush them, so they never let it go that far. vii. boys like him know how to manipulate you. they cry on your shoulder and make you think: no, no, he’s just confused; he just needs someone to be there for him. after all, that’s what all the pretty, soft, flowery girls would do, and boys like him tell you you are too rough rough rough, nothing like a woman should be. you are asphalt and scraped knees and boys like him are afraid of your raw beauty. viii. boys like him are difficult to get over. they make you cry, then wipe your tears until you are laughing. they make you miss the way they made you feel when they were lying between their teeth. boys like him are sunsets that fade to darkness and you are fascinated by the way the sliver of light travels through them. ix. boys like him make you believe you are nothing without them, that you will never find anyone else, that your only two options are to be with them or be alone. boys like him force you to let go and miss you only the second you start moving on. boys like him don’t want to see you treated better because it makes them feel like they are not enough for you. x. boys like him aren’t enough for you. boys like him are cowards. boys like him are afraid. boys like him hurt more than you will ever know, but boys like him are wrong when they think that is an excuse for being an asshole.”

— ten things i know about boys like him (via achingchest)

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NBK.

“If you want something you’ve never had, you have to do be willing to do something you’ve never done.”

—

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I know you stopped loving me but i remember i made a promise that i’d never stop loving you.

-anon

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-fitting for you R

-EyJ

I know that I’ll never be enough but I can’t stop trying…

-I don’t need you to love me back… I just love you.

-m.t.t.

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I'm trying k. Give me a break Sylvia.

“So many people are shut up tight inside themselves like boxes, yet they would open up, unfolding quite wonderfully, if only you were interested in them.”

— Sylvia Plath

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But then this...

“I was waiting for the longest time, she said. I thought you forgot. It is hard to forget, I said, when there is such an empty space when you are gone.”

— Brian Andreas, Story People: Selected Stories & Drawings of Brian Andreas (via perrfectly)

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““Will I ever get over my first love?” you ask. I tell you that’s too broad. You don’t “get over” someone you were once in love with. You can not simply just erase the adrenaline filled first touches, or the sunny cherry kissed afternoons spent dazed in their presence. You can’t fill the holes they once dug into the deepest part of your heart. You will always know them and they will always know you; they will always be a part of your deepest thoughts because they once had the privileged of hearing them. But what can happen is this. Those nights spent sitting alone in your room replaying the memories as your heart burns and your mind sinks will slowly turn into a still presence of just knowing who you once were. Those mornings started by a panicked realization they are gone will soon turn into admiring the sun peeking through the windows while you realize your sudden and subtle contentment. The pain of unrequited love fades. You let go of the fact that they don’t want you anymore. You realize you don’t need them to make you happy and you start to live for yourself. You realize that it ended for a reason; you were only meant to be together in the past and it simply is not fit for you anymore. You begin to take life for what it is and grow from every experience. Of course you still have love for them, but it is a different kind of love. It’s that distant love where you wish them the best but you aren’t desperate for their presence anymore. As you continue to move on you may think of them and reminisce on the old times, but you know the doors to the nights of screaming and crying over them have finally been locked. You’re on a new path now, and so are they. It’s the beautiful cycle of life and love.”

— a letter to my old self (via toxiccafe)

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Whatever you’re holding onto? Let it go. The dark is a beautiful thing, but do not let bitterness rule your heart.

Fall with grace. Live as the poetry you write. Be kind and good and lovely. Keep your heart open. Let it go, darlings, for there is such beauty to be had in this life.

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Cuddle and finger her