f-revermore-blog - Tumblr blog

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I wonder how I would’ve ended up if you hadn’t walked into my life.

t.k (via timbllr)

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I’ll tell you, “I love you”, as much as I can, but I can’t make you love yourself.

(via nuancez)

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A healthy relationship isn’t about possession but appreciation. It is about helping the other person become his/her greatest version.

Unknown (via kushandwizdom)

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there's been a lot going on in my head over the past two weeks, and while I think I can confidently say that I'm as happy as can be, it doesn't mean that there aren't a million thugs worrying me or weighing on my heart. my parents don't know I'm pregnant. and I feel bad for keeping it from them. pretty soon we'll know the gender of the baby and my own mother and father won't even know they're going to be grandparents. but after my birthday, why the fuck would I want to tell them? I always thought that I'd be so excited to tell my mom I was having a baby, but I'm fucking terrified that she's going to do what she did on my 21st birthday, hours before craig was going to propose to me. I'm really expecting her response to be a, "that's nice, but remember rachel never got to be a mom!" like I don't already fucking know that. and with my dad? well. who fucking knows what's gonna happen. I know he's gonna be so fucking excited for me to have a kid, and then his wife isn't going to let him ever come to visit or be the kind of grandpa that he wants to be to my baby. and he'll listen to her because he doesn't have the balls not to. I don't know. whatever. who fucking cares.

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oh my god literally shut up

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keeping this a secret from you is sooooo hard and it's only been like one day 😔

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Once upon a time, somewhere miles and miles beneath the surface of the ocean, there lived a young octopus named Nina. Nina spent most of her time alone making strange creations out of rocks and shells. And she was very happy. But then on Monday the shark showed up. “What’s your name?” said the shark. “Nina,” she replied. "Do you want to be my friend?” he asked. “Ok. What do I have to do?” said Nina. “Not much,” said the shark. “Just let me eat one of your arms.” Nina had never had a friend before, so she wondered if this was what you had to do to get one. She looked down at her eight arms and decided it wouldn’t be so bad to give up one. So she donated an arm to her wonderful new friend. Every day that week, Nina and the shark would play together. They explored caves, built castles of sand, and swam really, really fast. And every night the shark would be hungry, and Nina would give him another one of her arms to eat. On Sunday, after playing all day, the shark told Nina that he was very hungry. "I don’t understand,” she said. "I’ve already given you six of my arms, and now you want one more?” The shark looked at her with a friendly smile and said, “I don’t want one. This time I want them all.” "But why?” Nina asked. And the shark replied, “Because that’s what friends are for.” When the shark finished his meal, he felt very sad and lonely. He missed having someone to explore caves, build castles and swim really, really fast with. He missed Nina very much. So he swam away to find another friend.

Do you want to hear a story I’ve been working on?

Short Term 12 - (2013)

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I’ve had a really bad day

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psyche & the soma ||

& even though i know i shouldn’t,  i’m still feeding the monsters i’m afraid to fight. 

niykee is a tease. so much, that she’s even been named a professional ‘thirst trap’. even before she was getting recognition for her music, she became well known on instagram for posting pictures of her body and acting promiscuous. but that’s all it is; an act. niykee loves the validation she gets from feeling like people want her, but she won’t let anyone actually have her. she doesn’t know if it’s from her father abandoning her, from her first boyfriend using her so no one would find out he was actually gay, or from her virginity being taken by a boy who only wanted to get her drunk and take advantage of her after she had said no, or if it’s a combination of all three. but the idea of sex, (pre falling in love with her current fiance) especially with men, always sent niykees anxiety into overdrive. so instead, she just teased people, she was a flirt, but as soon as things got physically intimate, she removed herself from the situation. 

niykee has a severe case of daddy issues. after the passing of niykees older sister, her dad left and eventually he ended up remarrying a woman who had two daughters. he didn’t spend time with niykee because she reminded him too much of her sister, and niykee felt incredibly replaced. she felt like she wasn’t good enough, which is a huge part of the reason why niykee exposes herself on the internet, and why she feels the need to be as successful and famous as possible; she wants to get her dads attention. her daddy issues are also a part of the reason why she ended up with a man who’s so much older than her, and why she has such incredibly trust issues when it comes to men and sincerely thought that she was going to end up dating women.

niykee has severe anxiety. something she had never really gotten help for because her parents were too preoccupied with her sister being sick to notice something was wrong with their youngest child. her anxiety has stopped niykee from experiencing a lot of things that most young adults had, and a lot of the things that she did experience, she experienced later than most of her peers. it even set her back from going out on tour and she put touring off as long as she could until her record label told her she had no other choice but to book a tour because the idea of going out on stage and preforming in front of a venue full of people scared her so much. preforming was always a negative aspect of being an artist, and she thought that when she was on tour, every night before she went on stage she’d cry and panic.

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this was great to wake up to on my 21st birthday. I know you're still in need of some recovery and I hope you get it, but shouldn't you be happy that one of your daughters is still alive? instead of ruining all of these good things for me because rachel isn't here. this isn't what she would have wanted.

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I don’t pay attention to the world ending. It has ended for me many times and began again in the morning.

Nayyirah Waheed  (via wordsnquotes)

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"it's you and me now, you know that. you're it for me. I don't have to go around and try to find a girl that'll put up with me, or get into a relationship just so I'm not alone and by myself. I'm beyond that point in my life. and I'm not with you because of those things. I'm with you because when we met, we clicked instantly. I'm with you because you became my absolute best friend, and I was able to tell you things even my friends I've had since high school don't know about me. I'm with you because you know what I've been through and you know what I've done, and you still love me. I'm with you because I'm insanely in love with you, and I'm in love with every single little thing about you and I can't picture my life without you. and I could go on and on about why I'm with you, all night. I know it's terrifying. back before we were even together, and I fucked up a couple times because I was still messing around with other people, the first time I kind of was annoyed with myself because I thought I had lost you, and I had only known you for what, a few days? a week, if that? I was like "well, way to go, you fucked that one up, but what the fuck else is new?" and then you gave me another chance. and then I fucked up again later on, and almost lost you and it scared the fucking life out of me. because I was falling for you and we were becoming so close and I didn't WANT to be without you, even then. and that was terrifying, because I knew how I was feeling about you and that I was falling in love with you, and I didn't know what to do. but the second time made me realize I couldn't risk it anymore, and that I had to stop. because I realized that this could've been something serious, an actual, real, committed relationship. and as scary as it all was, I wanted to do anything I could to keep you around and to make that happen. and shit, even though I know we can work through absolutely ANY problem together, I still get scared. I still get scared that I might fuck up somehow and lose you. because it's all I've ever done. I've always fucked up every good thing in my life and lost it somehow."

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09.29.15 / 01.

craig and I had our first holiday together on thursday and it was perfect and everyone was happy and got along and my heart was so full of love and happiness. and then later that night we got into a stupid fight over nothing, I slapped him and pushed him around and he shoved me up against the wall and called me names. I guess this kind of made me realize that things can seem so perfect, but perfect isn't real and what we have IS real. and I guess what's real is that you can be so happy and so thankful and then two hours later want to push each other out of the window. that's okay though. we fought and then we fucked and then we told each other we loved each other and woke up the next day as happy as ever. I've never known someone who I could fight with and then be absolutely fine the next day, not even a tiny bit annoyed or bitter with them. craigs family is so sweet and they all seem to love me so much. his mom said she was proud of him for ending up with someone like me and his grandparents think I'm the prettiest girl in the world. my mom likes him too. she can't believe I have a home and a life with someone but I think it's hard for her because she still sees me as a baby. I'm kinda upset that my dad isn't around but whatever. my birthday is on friday. I'm excited to finally be 21 but not excited as I thought I would be. maybe I'll get more excited throughout the week. I don't know. whatever.